Marley Jane
by Ember411
Summary: After Marley's life changes she is depressed, but soon finds a comfort tool. It's unhealthy, but addictive. Can she stop? Minor shippings. Warning: Drugs, alcohol, bulimia, M behavior, ect.
1. Bio of Me

**Hey guys! So I wrote this a couple of months ago in May, but just kind of been waiting until the correct time to upload this! This is all written, pre-written, so I already know what is going to happen, I guess you can say!**

**So part of this is a teeny bit inspired by _The Outsiders_. If you have ever read the novel than you'll guess what I am doing at the start of the story and the end of the story. And if you HAVE NOT read the novel you can either go read it yourself (aka: Cheat) or you can still read this and see what inspired me. (I suggest you go and read it though).**

**Sorry that this first chapter is kind of short, but things get better in writing.**

**I'll remind you all in the start of some of the chapters. I have never taken drugs in my life, nor do I ever plan to take drugs. I'm against them. I'm literally just basing the drug-taking stuff from movies and how the characters act when they are high.**

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**1\. Bio Of Me.**

_My name is Marley. Marley Jane Rose. I was born September sixteenth in 1997 to my mother, Millie, and the man who said he was my father, James. I was named after actress Marley Shelton after Mom and Dad went on a date when she was pregnant with me to see that movie, **The Sandlot** and Mom loved the name Marley. I guess my middle name is suppose to be a play on my father's name, James. Jane, James, Jane, James. Like take out the 'S' and take a curve away from 'M' and we get Jane. It was kind of a weird thing._

_My father left my Mom and I when I was three and a half. I barely remember him these days but Mom says I have his clear blue eyes. That's about it. It wasn't until I was thirteen when this girl I went to school with, Connie, and her group of friends, came up to me and Connie started to tell me that her father is a cop and that he had recently had to send a drug-addict to some mental home. I remember her cold, cold words too._

_"I think his name is James Rose. My older brother snuck into Daddy's office and found information on this James guy. James has a daughter about my age and her name is… I think… Mary. She's probably just as addicted to crack as her Daddy is." Now of course the way she said it, she said it in a way that was directly towards me. She knew I was the girl James had._

_Crack Baby was my name. It got so bad that I came home crying one day and Mom said I didn't have to go to that school and I could transfer to another school. Well I don't know what happened but that school also found out about my father and after a month and a half of bullying, Mom and I moved from Cincinnati to Lima._

_I was home schooled for a year before going to another school as a freshmen. Mom went to work and I went to this online site that offered it free for a year. After that I went to the new school. __I was fine, but all the kids found out about Mom's job as the lunch lady and I was teased and had no friends. I didn't tell Mom so I just dealt with it all year. Mom found out by the end of the year and she found another school I could go too. McKinley High._

_The school is wonderful. Except for the jocks and cheerleaders. Mom encouraged me to join the Glee club and I auditioned. I got in. I made some new amazing friends and finally felt like I began to fit in. Like I was finally normal now. They made fun of Mom but stopped and realized what they were doing and who they had become (they had won 2012 Nationals) and didn't like it so they stopped. But this girl, Kitty, continued to tease me._

_There was this kid name Jake that I use to like. He was a bad-boy and I was attracted to that. He dated Kitty then broke up with her because she was picking on me. If I remember correctly around that time we were putting up a showing of Grease that I met Ryder and we hit it off pretty well. Kitty got into my head and made me think I was fat and I became bulimic. Ryder found me puking and stopped me and helped me stop. We hit it off some more too!_

_Of course we had a date but he had to cancel it for a dyslexic doctors appointment. Kitty got inside of my head and made me think Ryder didn't like me. So I became that terrible person. That terrible person who has a re-bound guy and goes after with him. Jake was my victim. God I feel stupid now, but at the time I felt happy a guy was happy with me. Ryder was sad, but he wanted me happy so he dealt with it. Jake and I dated and I felt completely happy._

_But that's when the happiness began to go downhill. Things happened that lead me here today._

_My name is Marley Jane Rose._


	2. The Break Up

**Hey guys! Thanks for the reviews so far! :)**

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**2\. The Break Up.**

I passed out and fainted at Sectionals. Coach Sue entered the choir room and told us that, by the rules of the competition, we forfeited and Warblers won the competition. I honestly hadn't cried so much in my life….well at least in a long time. Jake kept rubbing my back with his hand but, like the rest of them, he seemed disappointed by the fact we loss.

I had all day Saturday and Sunday to focus on myself and get things in perspective. Mom called an eating disorder specialist and I had a weekly appointment with a therapist every Wednesday. Unfortunately that meant I'd miss Glee club after school on Wednesdays, but Mom said that Finn would understand and he'd want me to get help with my problem. I haven't known Finn for as long as, say Artie, but he seems like a nice guy.

Monday morning I came to school and nobody spoke to me. Well except Ryder and Unique and Joe. Sam kinda talked to me, but went quiet when Tina came around the corner. Ryder, Unique and Joe all asked if I were okay and if I needed anything. I said no and that I was fine. I shared one class with each of them out of all eight classes. During history class Ryder and I just passed notes back and forth taking about bands. In science Unique and I were reading and taking quizzes from the latest magazines she got. Sam was talking to me about Rocky Horror and his body problem experience and that he felt odd too (but then he started to go on about Nicholas Cage and made impressions of him).

I had a health class with both Sugar and Joe and usually Sugar and I sat in the middle of the rows and helped one another with the assignments, but she gave me a dirty look and said if I sat next to her she'd bite me. I didn't believe her, but I sat in the last row by myself. Joe, who had been sitting in front of Sugar and heard the conversation, got up and joined me in the back. We were watching some stupid video about drugs. I fell asleep on Joe's shoulder, though he didn't seem to mind so much.

It wasn't until lunch time when it began to get worse. I got into the cafeteria and I went to go sit with Tina and the rest of them but Tina shoved her bag into the empty spot. "Seat's taken." She said.

"By who?" I asked. I really wanted to add a sarcastic joke in there, but held back.

"Anyone but you?" She sneered at me. "You made us lose, your can't sit with us."

"Don't be such a bitch Tina." Sam told her. "Marley can sit here with us if she wants too, okay? And it was just a few days ago so relax."

"We lost Sam! This was my final year, your final year and Blaine and Arties! All of us!" Tina yelled. "Marley can't sit with us!"

"You're acting like a bigger bitch than Gretchen was to Regina in Mean Girls!" Blaine yelled at Tina.

"Oh shut the hell up Blaine! You know this was our year and this bitch ruined it by starving herself!"

Before Blaine could even open his mouth I dropped by lunch tray in front of Tina, angry and pissed off. Not just at them or how they were treating me but the fact that I had these voices in my head all telling me the same stuff over and over again. Food, calories, losing, being fat, worthless, terrible. Everything.

"Whatever." I spat out. "I'm not giving a rat ass any more." I replied before turning around and walking away. Who needs Tina anyways? She was just such a bitch about everything. A diva.

I skipped lunch. Ryder and Unique and Blaine all came after me and tried to make me stay, but I just left them alone and sat in the library doing some homework. Jake texted me and ask me to come meet him over at the football stands in ten minutes or so.

I got to the spot and waited for him. Jake came walking up the steps, looking pretty sad about something. Probably losing Sectionals. He didn't even sit down with me but just stood there and conflicted with either looking at me or avoiding me.

"What's wrong?" Were my first words to him, confused.

"It's over." He said.

"What's over? I asked. I didn't want it to be that.

"Us." He said to me. "I'm done, we're over. I just can't Marley."

"What do you mean!?" I stood up, feeling my shaking legs about to shatter into a million pieces. Like my heart. "You're—you're breaking up with me? Why Jake? Is it because of me causing us to lose Sectionals?"

"No. Not exactly. Marley, Ryder told me that he found you puking in the bathroom the night of Grease. And since then you've skipped lunch and your Mom was telling me a while ago at lunch that while she booked you with a therapist, she caught you puking again last night." He explained. "Marley I don't want to date…." He didn't finish.

"A bulimic loser, right?" I stated to him. He just bowed his head down, ashamed written on his face. I threw my hands up in defeat and yelled at him. "Fine! You know what I don't even give a crap about you anyways, Puckerman! I know for a fact that you've been flirting with other girls while we were dating! The only person you haven't done it to is Brittany! I gave you a chance but you can't change. You are stuck the way you are! You are exactly like Puck!" I grabbed my backpack from the ground. "If Kitty is anything like Quinn, let me know when your baby is due!"

His head shot up when I said that, but before he could speak a word I had already jumped off the bleachers and jogged away from them. I hid behind a dumpster nearby and waited until Jake left the bleachers to go back and cry. After several moments where I could tell he hated what he did, three Cheerio's come up and start whispering in his ears and clutching onto him like a rare Louis Vuitton bag. Once gone I sauntered back over in tears. I felt miserable, broken and I just wanted to….puke.

I was just about to start walking up the bleachers when I heard a voice from behind and under the bleachers. "Hey you."


	3. Brett and Lark

**Hey guys! Thanks for the reviews so far! :)**

**Here we meet Lark ****Stewart, find a picture of him on my profile picture.**

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**3\. Brett and Lark.**

I looked over and saw some red hair boy and a couple of others under the bleachers. He called me over again, holding something near his mouth. "Hey you, come over." As I approached them I realized that the kid was that Brett Stoner kid. Funny, I thought he was in jail after doing something last week with weeds. "What's up, Mary?"

"It's Marley."

"Whatever. I just got here and heard that talk up there," He held out something in his hand that looked wrapped up. "Want a puff?"

"What the hell? Drugs? NO!" I yelled. "Are you crazy!?"

"What, look at the rest of us….we're all good…..come on, give it a damn try. You'll feel better."

"No." I told him again. "I may be bulimic, but I'm not_ that_ stupid to try drugs." That was true. I'd rather be suffering from an eating disorder than be addictive to any type of drug. I knew better than that. "Maybe you should try something else that's better. Like, I don't know, punching a bag or something."

One of the girls near us, Lindsay I think her name is, laughed. She was already high, her red eyes told me. "Okay….how 'bout….marshmallows….HOLY SHIT! IT'S A FLYING MONKEY!" She laughed as she pointed to the sky. "LARK! LARK!"

Lark? I heard some guy behind me laugh and when I turned I saw this guy who I never seen before. He was tall, about Finn's height, and had blond hair with blue eyes. He had on this leather jacket with blue jeans pants and a dark blue and brown shoes. He had some sort of weed stick sticking outside of his mouth, but it looked more like a cigarette. He smiled at me holding it out and said, "Want a blow? It's not anything hard, just a cig." He told me. "Marley, right?"

"No, I don't even like the smell of cigarettes." I told him. "Who are you?"

"Lark. Lark Stewart. Cousin Ryder talks about you a lot of times."

"Oh so, wait, are you Lukas?" I said with a grin. I remember Ryder said he had a cousin named Lukas who went by the name of Lark since he was four. Their mothers were twins and both boys were close in age. Ryder was seventeen and Lukas was 19 I believe. Coincidence maybe? But now thinking about it more Ryder did mention he hated this cousin for deep reasons. And I think he also said half of the family hated him because of same so said reasons.

"Oh yeah, Lukas. I've called myself Lark since I was four though." Lark laughed. "Ryder is my cousin. I lived in Westerville for a few years then moved in with cousin Johnny Papas for a while back now I'm here on my own. Actually Johnny is on Ryder's Dads side, his sisters kid, but we met up at some party a few years ago for Grandma Theodora's birthday and Johnny had nothing else to do that day so he got the invite. You ever heard of Johnny Papas?" He blew out a puff.

"Yes. He took laxatives and crapped himself during the middle of a wrestling match." I giggled. I remember when Ryder told me that. "Ryder told me."

"Yeah. That kid, Johnny." Lark shook his head and laughed. "I don't do this shit much, but a cig won't kill."

"Ryder mentioned he never talks to you often." I told Lark, stepping closer as the smell of a cigarette was better than the now stoned Brett Stoner and his group of friends.

"Yeah, family kind of hates when I smoke. They're like, all health professionals and shit, or something along the lines of that. Just annoying doctors and nurses." Lark explained to me. "I saw you at Sectionals. Aunt Heather said Ry was gonna be in it and I thought I'd come along and see him dance like an idiot. You okay?" He asked me. I guess he meant with the fainting. "Drink enough apple juice?"

"Uh, I haven't eaten much at the time. I guess you can say." I told him.

"Oh, alright, but eat. That's how we all live." He blew out another puff then stepped on his cigarette after dropping it. "I dropped out of high school a few years ago. That all-boy school where I lived in Westerville. I think one of the guys on that team of yours attended before some sweet-baby-voice kid came and they hooked up or whatever."

"Oh, Dalton, Sure." I nodded. Then my stomach began to rumble. "Sorry, I hadn't have lunch yet. I got into this….problem with someone."

"Whoever started this problem is a pure bitch of Satan." Lark laughed. "Hey wanna grab a slice of pizza? Just skip the rest of the day."

"I have to be back by 2:30 for Glee. I have no idea what is going to be for the rest of the year. But I still need to attend."

"Sure thing. Let me just finish a few things up here," Lark stated.

Lark brushed passed me and headed over to one of Brett's other friends. They walked over to the other side of the bleachers and spoke for a while before Lark handed the guy a rolled up ball of money and two packages of cigarettes and the guy handed Lark two bags filled with weed and another bag filled with white stuff. Cocaine I think? Lark and the guy nodded before shaking hands and Lark came back over.

"You do drugs all the time or are you selling this?" I asked him.

"I'm selling the crack bag but I'm keeping the weed for myself." Lark explained to me. "It's a fun business. Rich quick. Anyways I'm not gonna force you to do this shit, I never make girls do this stuff. I got a helmet at by bike."

"Helmet?" I asked him.

Lark took my hand and brought me over to the student parking lot. Along the lines of cars and bikes was this motorbike. It was pure black with silver lighten bolts on the sides and a silver skull above the light in the front. Something that as far as I know, looked dangerous. Seriously what was it with me and bad-boys?

"Is this… safe?" I asked him.

"Safe? Of course. I've been driving Rodney since I was ten." Lark said as he handed me a helmet. "You can use mine for now. I'll be fine." He said. "Don't even argue with me, Missy." He read me like a book.

I didn't know what else to do. Either take a chance with him or go back inside and face the school for a long time and then face Glee club. I couldn't skip that, but I could skip school. I put on the helmet and strapped the straps tightly and climbed onto the back. Thankfully I was wearing leggings with my skirt and my brown lace boots. After Lark climbed on I held onto his waist and waited for him to start driving. I've seen the movies so I knew how fast he'd go. Lark backed up, said to me "Hold tightly!" then within seconds he zoomed off.

I was scared but after a minute or two I began smiling and having a blast. This was beautiful and so much fun. I never felt so….

Liberating before.


	4. Glee Practice

**Hey guys! Thanks for the reviews so far! :)**

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**4\. Glee Practice**

During the two and a half hours with Lark we just stayed at one of the local pizza places and talked. He was telling me about his life growing up and how he and Ryder use to be best friends but stopped when Ryder was twelve because Lark started to smoke and Ryder just wanted to stay away from him. He attended night school now after dropping out at 15 years old. Though he called it insane, Lark mentioned that after getting a diploma for his night school classes and then going to Lima University, he wanted to go to an Ivy League school, either Cornell, Dartmouth or Harvard, and study psychology. "Nothing doctor related. But I'm aiming to Dartmouth. What 'bout you?"

I told him that I wanted to be a singer on the radio. I wasn't too sure of schools yet but that Kurt watched me audition for Glee club and a few weeks later he had e-mailed me and said in his message:_** Guess who's better than Rachel Berry? You are! Come to New York Academy of Dramatic Arts (NYADA)!** _but I just told Lark that I might just end up coming to a community college and take a music program there. Lark said it was bullshit. Lark said I could go and get into any school I wanted to attend and that I'd get in within a second. And before I could mention money said had told me that, because his family hates his smoking habits they refuse to pay for him, he said that he could apply as independent and that they'd help him out with paying for classes. Or if he did well in school or whatever that they'd give him grants and whatnot. Or use his drug money to pay. But he laughed so I guess it was a joke. I think.

"I don't know. Maybe. I'm not sure yet, I have a few more years." I stated.

"I heard Dartmouth got a great theater program," He winked. He made me laugh. "Someone is happier than this morning."

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After talking, exchanging phone numbers and such Lark gave me a ride back to the school. He told me his address, he didn't live too far from Ryder (his own apartment!), and then he drove off. I smiled and giggled a bit. Lark had great chemistry with me, but I brushed it off. I felt bad actually. I think I just re-bounded him after Jake. God I was such a terrible person! But I shook it off as I entered inside of the Glee room and notice all the chairs were gone, everyone was on the floor except for Artie obviously and Finn and Mr. Schue. I was the last to arrive and apparently I had just missed the news whatever it be. Tina was giving me a cold glare and as I took a seat far away from the others, but close enough to not be the outcast. Hmm. Outcast. I liked the word, strangely.

"Ashamed to show her face and comes late, or puking her brains out?" Tina snapped her comment.

I just rolled my eyes, though Finn said, "Tina, enough."

"Well it's true! If she thought she was New Rachel, then just New Rachel my butt!" Tina then looked at me and yelled again, "I knew Rachel Berry! I'm friends with Rachel Berry and you Marley are no Rachel Berry!"

"Preach!" Artie joined.

Geeze, that just annoyed me. I just literally wanted to stand up and scream these exact words at Tina: _FUCKING BITCH! LEAVE YOUR COMMENTS TO YOURSELF AND TALK SHIT WHEN YOU GET HOME, LIKE EVERY OTHER NORMAL PERSON!_ But then somehow, out of character of myself, I said, "Rachel Berry my ass."

"Excuse me!?" Tina asked loudly.

I didn't shadow my words. I looked at Tina and said it again. "Rachel. Berry. My. Ass!" I screamed as I stood up and walked to the front of the room, never losing eye contact with Tina. "What is with this Rachel crap? Is Rachel suppose to be like this princess of this school? Huh? Princess Rachel Berry!? Is she like the idea of Regina George!? We just have to listen to her because she is everything!? I'm beginning to see this Rachel Berry girl even worse than Regina George when we first meet her! Blaine told me what a New Rachel is and to be honest, it's kinda…well…." Never had I sworn in Glee. But it happened. "_**Bullshit**_!"

Nearly everyone in the room gasped, jaws dropped to the ground, even Finn and Mr. Schue. Kitty smirked and everyone else just looked at me like I had just done the most unbelievable thing ever done. Bombshell that I had ever known the word 'bullshit' and what it meant. It was out of character of me, but it was my honest feelings. Why not? I didn't want to lie and everyone is showing their honest colors now, right?

I felt Mr. Schue put his hand on my shoulder gently. "Marley," he said my name soothingly. "I think you need to go take a walk around the halls for fifteen minutes. Get some water too, then come back. Okay?"

I turned on heel and left the room with my backpack in hand. I wasn't going to come back. Tina would just make rude comments about my attitude and then she and her co-boy, Artie, would just… I don't even know. Do whatever it takes to stay on top for the club.

Unique texted me. Finn announced that because we lost Sectionals, Glee club was over for the year.

Oh Tina must have been real pleased with me when Finn said that, I thought to myself. She probably wanted to throw me a party with sprinkles and unicorns.

Honestly I just really hate things right now. At least when I get home I can just read a book and be free from them for the rest of the day.


	5. Home Changes

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**5\. Home Changes.**

I walked home after leaving Glee club. The walk home was usually a fifty minute walk and wasn't too bad as the weather was cold which meant everyone drove passed me. I didn't want any walkers to be asking why I looked so depressed. Mom wouldn't be home as right after school she worked at a pharmacy store as the register person. She applied at BreadStix and was waiting to hear back from them and if she got that job she'd work only Saturday and Sunday at the pharmacy. Three jobs.

And all because of my damn eating disorder.

I'm a screw up.

I arrived home and found myself alone in the two level, two bedroom and two bathroom home. It wasn't as nice as Kitty's or Brittany's or even Blaine's, but it was comfortable enough for Mom and me. I sat on the couch and read one of my books, making a mental note to go to a garage sale and find all the cheap books I could find and read and enjoy. Right now I was reading_ Go As Alice._ I actually never knew it was a girls diary until someone had mentioned it to me. Interesting.

My cell-phone kept ringing all afternoon. Messages from Glee kids asking where I was and why I didn't come back. I didn't reply back. I read a few more pages of my book before going to my laptop that I saved up to earn within two years and signed onto Facebook and see what was new.

**New Friend Request: **_Lark Stewart_

**Message:** _Hey cutie, had a great time today. Hopefully we can meet up again, say tomorrow? But no pizza, I heard Mama Rose makes awesome spaghetti. See ya!_

Lark. He was nice to me at least. I accepted his friend request and then began going through a few of his pictures. A lot of them were his friends who were smoking cigarettes and a few videos of them doing illegal things, like spray painting on someone's house. But other than that he had pictures of himself volunteering at the local animal shelter and some homeless shelter handing out food. He was adorable in those pictures.

Adorable. What?

I messaged him back in a moment.

_Hey. I had a great day too! But, um, I'm sorry if I made you feel like some sort of re-bound guy. I don't want to do that. I've done it before, kinda, and I still feel bad about making the guy my re-bound. If I am making you feel like a re-bound let me know and I'll, um…well I don't know. I guess try to not make you feel like a re-bound guy. I guess._

_Wow, I sound pretty stupid now!_

_\- Marley._

I sent it and signed off then decided to make a box of mac and cheese. During the time I was able to jot down a couple of different song ideas. I hadn't ever told anyone about my songs, but I've written a few of them. Some of my new recent ones were 'More Friends Than You Know' and another I finished was 'All Or Nothing'. I entitled this one: Outcast. I had a few words down but had to stop and clear my mind before I got aggravated and give up on finishing the song.

My dinner finished. After settling it into a bowl I sat on the couch and began watching the TV and picked a channel program. Boy Meets World. I loved this show growing up. My cell-phone rang. Ryder. Nope, not going to pick up. It rang two more times before it stopped. I shrugged as I settled my bowl down and finished watching my second episode. I was about to begin homework when there was a knock on the door. Kinda in a frantic way.

Slowly I got up from the couch and took a peep out of the peephole. Ryder stood there, breathing heavily. I sighed. Opening the door I said, "Hey, what's up?"

"Lark!" He breathed out. "Don't be friends with Lark! He's crazy!" Ryder shouted. "He's terrible! Even Jake is a nicer guy! Hell Brett Stoner is a way nicer guy!"

"Ryder I don't care. He told me about his cigarette problem—"

"And the drugs? Huh? He tell you that?" Ryder asked. "Look, Blaine's in the car too. He knows Lark is from Dalton and knows a couple of the guys that Lark hangs out with, some use to be friends with Blaine. Tell me right now you'll ignore Lark, delete him off Facebook, block is number from your phone and don't have a contact with him again. Or I'll get Blaine in here with me and we'll literally tie you down and explain every single reason to leave Lark alone."

What the hell? Ryder never told me who I should be with or not be with. Not even with Jake. He just warned me to be careful about Jake. I shook my head, said no, then slammed the door. Ryder kept knocking but I just ignored the knocks and phone calls from my house phone, which had caller I.D, and my cell-phone. Even Blaine knocked on the door.

"Marley, Lark and I have mutual friends at Dalton! I know about him! Ryder is correct, Lark is bad news!" Blaine yelled though the door. "Open the door, Marley!"

"GO AWAY!" I yelled. I put in my headphones and fell asleep to the sound of Kelly Clarkson.

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I woke up hours later when Mom came home. She looked a little bit sad, but tired too. "Hi Mom!" I greeted her with a warm smile.

"Hi Sweetie." Mom smiled. "How was today, champ?"

"Um, okay. Glee club is over for the season though. Most of the seniors are sad about that, since it's just the start of the school year and they wanna keep on top."

"Nobody blamed you, correct?" Mom asked. That was a worry she had about today and the next few weeks.

"No. Everyone understood." I lied. "And I made a friend today. His name is Lark. He's Ryder's cousin."

"Oh Really? Is he a nice boy?" Mom smiled. "Or bad-boy?"

"Uh, he seems like a bad-boy, but is pretty much just as nice." I laughed as I sat down at the table in the kitchen with her. "He's funny too. He is going to night school for his diploma, but is aiming to go to Dartmouth."

"Oh that sounds wonderful! Just don't get too close to him or else Jake will think your cheating."

I frowned when she said that. "We broke up." Okay, he broke up with me. But I didn't want Mom and Jake's small friendship to be ruined. They talked a lot during lunch, sort of. "We both felt like we were rushing into a relationship before becoming friends first, so we're just friends for now."

"Oh well that's good. Always take things slowly honey, don't rush into anything your not comfortable with." She told me. "Did you eat?"

"A box of pasta." I answered. "How was work tonight?"

"Not too good, honey." Mom said. I could tell she didn't want to tell me something, but knew she had too. "I lost my job at the pharmacy."

"WHAT!?" I yelled. "What happened?"

"They had to cut some people and it was me and three other people. I know this is going to change our income and paying for your hospital-therapist appointments, but I'll work on it honey. Don't worry."

Well since Glee was over. I figure I could get a job. At a store in the mall or even at Lima Bean. I loved Lima Bean. But Mom read me like a book and with a smile she said, "Don't even think about getting a job, Marley Jane Rose. I won't have it. You need to have as much fun as possible before becoming an adult."

"Most kids my age have a job Mom." I told her.

"Yes and they want too or have too. You will not have a job now, just enjoy yourself." She smiled. "Want some low calorie ice cream?"

I declined and just said I was gonna shower and read a little bit more. I did both and rested on my bed reading my book. My phone kept ringing but I ignored it until I decided to see who was harassing me.

It was Lark. I smiled, answered and talked to him. Like some corny teenage film, we talked all night long and argued who'd hang up first.


	6. Brett 20

*****PLEASE BE SURE TO READ THE BOTTOM ON THE CHAPTER. THE AUTHOR'S NOTE! IT'S VERY IMPORTANT!*****

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**6\. Brett 2.0**

I cried all night after hanging up. Mom losing her job, having to pay to see a therapist and everyone hating me was terrible. What was worse was I signed onto Facebook around 4 AM, unable to sleep, and just watched a couple of Sam's guitar songs he posted.

I slept for another hour or two before I got up and dressed. I decided on jean pants and a sleeveless pink top, since the school would be warm inside. I fixed my hair, did my make-up and finished up my homework that I never got to last night. By the time I finished Mom called me down for school. No breakfast?

Nope. Just a yogurt and banana for the go today. She apologized, I said it was fine. She then handed me my lunch tickets and I shoved them in my pocket.

At school I arrived at my locker and packed the books I needed for the day. I felt a hand come up to me and assuming it was Blaine or Ryder, I flicked it off. "Get away from me."

"Why?" Sam's voice asked.

"Oh sorry, I though you were Ryder or Blaine." I apologized. "What's up?"

"Well you never came back to Glee and not answer your phone," Sam said. "Look I know Tina was being a bitch but she just needs to release stress and sadly she feels like blaming you is going to help. And Artie followers her lead, so try to not take it personally. Don't worry, all is good with the world." He laughed. "Hey so Carol is taking me out later to get clothes with Finn, she said she'd buy you some things. Wanna join after school?"

"Um, sure." I said. Good way to apply for a job unless somehow Finn could keep Glee going.

"Alright then. See you later." Sam smiled and left. "Oh and one more thing," He turned back and faced me. "Blaine said to keep off of Lark. Don't know what it means but he'd said you know."

Oh great. Now they're getting Sam to join in, almost. Whatever.

I walked down the hall and saw Jake. He spotted me but avoided eye contact with me. Not to mention down the hall more I got slushy from the jocks, the cheerio's, a few more jocks and when I passed the cafeteria after washing off I saw Mom. She looked a little bit sad. God, losing a job and waiting to hear from another….such a pain in the—

I didn't see where I was going. I bumped into someone, who was holding a green slushy and when they fell their drink fell in an almost throwing angle. It landed on Artie, covering him. I ran and helped cleaning up Artie, apologizing, and to the kid I knocked over. The kid handed his empty cup to me and told me in rude words to watch where I was going. I held the cup but continued to wipe Artie off. I apologized again. "Don't worry Marley, it happens a lot. This time it was an accident though so I'm not too offended."

"ARE YOU KIDDING ME MARLEY!" A voice called out. Within seconds the cup was out of my hand. "NOW PICKING ON ARTIE?" Tina continued. "Slushy him!?"

"No, no it wasn't me!" I defended myself. "I bumped into someone who fell and slushy Artie."

"Its true Tina." Artie confided, helping me out. "She didn't do it, she's too nice to do that."

"OH SURE, YEAH RIGHT!" Tina yelled, not taking any word of it. She took the handles of Artie's chair and pushed him. "JUST BACK OFF OF HIM, ANOREXIC!"

That hurt. I got a buzz on my phone and when I checked to see who messaged me I saw it was from a number I didn't know. I opened the message though and read it.

_Though you could hide from me, Crack Baby? Nice try. I'm transferring to Lima soon and as soon as I am able to get into the school, watch your ass! I've already figured out who your friends are and once they know who Mommy and Daddy are, they will kick your ass out of their club so fat! Opps sorry, I meant fast! I'll be sure to bring all the drugs for you baby. See you soon, Crack Baby!_

_\- Connie._

Oh great…now Connie is coming here? How in the hell did she even know my number? Oh god no! No! No! No! No! No! I began shaking as I ran into the bathroom and began crying. Classes began now so nobody would bother me. This couldn't of been happening….damn it! And I want to puke but I can't puke! Damn it!

I got up and wiped my eyes and eventually found my way out of the school. I found myself on the bleachers again and watched the gym classes run track. I wasn't allowed to take gym anymore, due to my eating disorder. Gym was my first class of the day too so unless the teacher caught me, I'd be safe. I could hear some kids from below and knowing who it was I snuck down.

Lark was there, with Brett Stoner and his friends. While Lark and his friends talked Brett came over, a lot high, and spoke to me. Through his high words, literally, he mentioned that I looked tensed. I rolled my eyes.

He held his hand out to me and showed me a weed stick. "Take one, it'll ease down. Or some crack too. Or for easy, man, take the ciggy."

He handed me the weed stick and left.

How was I suppose to take this anyways? Just take it like a cigarette? How would this even help me with all the stress I'm under right now with school, mom, Glee, Tina, Connie, my eating disorder and my life. Wait, everything I just mentioned _is _my life. I think on a stress level between 20-100, I'm at 150 or 200. But still how in the world was this piece of crap suppose to help me cool down with all the stress? Maybe Brett and his friends thought it taste good? I mean it had to be addictive somehow, right? Like Puck did with those cupcakes a few years ago? That is still a story that roams the halls of McKinley High. Maybe these had the flavor of...dirt. I've eaten dirt before on a dare when I was seven years old and I still remember the disgusting taste.

Whatever, I thought. It's just one. It won't be too bad, right?

Slowly, I put the stick in my mouth…..

* * *

****AUTHOR NOTE! ****

**Never in my life have I ever taken drugs, nor do I ever plan on taking them. I know better. I've known since elementary school to never use them.**

**So for now, As this story continues, I will be basing everything off of TV shows and Movies. How the characters react and how they speak and such.**


	7. Experience

**_~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~_**

* * *

**7\. Experience**

I've never felt so calm before in my life.

Ever.

It tasted strange at first, like putting dry dirt into my mouth. But after a while or so it felt liberating, so soothing and very calmed down from all the stress in my life. I felt like on top of the world! As I sat in my spot and continued smoking all the stress was released and I soon forgot about Connie and Tina and homework and food and Glee Club and school in general.

I walked over to Brett, Lark and the others and sat with them and continued blowing my joint. Everyone but Lark had a joint, Lark continued his cigarette in his hand. "Hey Marley," Lark said. "Is that your first joint?" I nodded. "Feels good at first, right?" Again I nodded. "Just wait a little while longer and soon everything will be fine."

I don't know how long it was until I felt hungry. Like super hungry. All I wanted was a cupcake and some cookies and a milkshake. Huge amounts of those foods. Huge amounts. I then had the most strangest thought ever and asking it out loud to the others. "Hey…what if tomorrow, we go to the store….get huge cupcakes."

"BROWNIES!" One other guy yelled, then began laughing loudly. "Brownies!"

The rest of the began laughing too, even Brett and Lark. Brett lost it. Some girl, Zandra, I think she lost it too. Some girl named Chandler stated something and then I lost it too.

I never felt so alive before in my life.

* * *

God knows how long things passed before I felt someone shaking me to wake up. I coughed a few times before sitting up with a major headache, a huge hunger craving, thirty for an ocean of water and feeling my head as if it were on fire. It was one of the football players, one of the rare nice ones. He asked if I were okay and I nodded. I looked around and saw that the others were gone. But there was a note for me on my shirt.

_Lark: Call you tonight baby ;)_

I felt crappy but okay. I stood up and brushed the dirt off my jeans and shirt. The football player sniffed and asked, "You smoke?"

"Uh, someone….cigarette…..Brant?" I couldn't remember if I was given a cigarette or weed, but I was sure it was a cigarette. From someone named Brant.

Or was it someone named Bret?

"Hang out with Stoner?" The player asked me.

"No, not stoned." I answered, picking up my backpack. "Gotta go to…lunch or math…"

"School's over for the day," He told me. "It's seven thirty."

Seven thirty!? What the….how did that happen!? Oh God, did I fall asleep? HOW?

I pulled my phone out and checked. Mom called me several times and messaged me asking where I was. Oh crap, I thought, I'm dead.

"Hey your friends with Lynn, right?" The guy asked me. "Rose, right?"

I just nodded with the head ache worsening and I ran away, running home as fast as I could. Stupid pain, stupid headache, stupid cigarette.

* * *

I got home. Mom was in the kitchen and asked where I was. "Sorry," I told her. "I was with Brittany at her house and I left my phone on vibrate."

She said it was okay and then asked why I smelled so odd. "I ran pass a bunch of guys having a cigarette blow party. I ran in the dust." She believed it. I ran upstairs and took a shower just having one thought: I lied to Mom. But I felt so…liberating!

Before I finally fell asleep I got a text from several people.

**Sam:** Hey, what was the history homework? I'm not in your class, but we're on the same subject stuff. Ryder isn't answering his phone.

**Tina**: Okay so Artie told me what happened…..BUT STILL! Watch yourself!

**Jake:** I'm sorry….can we talk? I made a mistake. Can we talk?

**Brittany:** Eye miss U. We should go get peeza next weak!

**Ryder:** Jimmy talked to me today after he found you under the bleachers….what the hell, Marley!? Smoking with Brett Stoner? That's not cool, I'm going to kick his ass tomorrow and talk to you about it Marls.

**Lark:** Hey, call me when you get the chance.

I replied to all of them. And in the order I received them too.

_Chapter 17, questions A1—B10._

_Whatever, I don't give a shit about your opinions anymore._

_Seriously!? Hell no! We're done, get away from me and don't ever talk to me again!_

_Sounds like fun, Britt! I can't wait! :)_

_No, Ryder it's okay. I'm fine. I didn't smoke I was just talking to a friend of his and I fell asleep. I'll be fine._

After I sent the last message I dialed Lark's number and waited for him to pickup. After several rings the other end picked up. "Hey Marley,"

"Hi Lark." I grinned.


	8. Getting to Know You

**_~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~_**

* * *

**8\. Getting to Know You.**

I was talking to Lark all night again. We wanted to hang out but I still had school. I never faked a sickness before but I needed a day to myself and away from Glee club and school in the whole. I said I'd call him back and then hung up and slept a little bit more before I heard a knock on the door and Mom call in. "Marley? Baby, it's time to wake up."

"Mom... I don't feel good..." I moaned. She came over and felt my forehead.

"You don't feel too warm. Is it the stomach bug?"

"I don't know, I feel like crap." I said. If I had used 'crap' to her, she'd bound to believe me.

"Oh I'm sorry baby," She sounded sympathetic. "I'll fix you up something quick to eat and soup to heat up later."

She left my room and I went back to laying on my side. She believed me. I lied though and that was a horrible feeling inside. Well it was a half lie, white lie. I did feel like crap. Glee lost because of me. I texted Lark and said I was free today and to get me around 11. Mom came up with cereal, toast and hot chocolate with a tall glass of water and some medicine. Once I took the medicine she brushed my hair back. "Are you sure your going to be okay? I can stay home."

"No, go to work."

"Okay. I'll the therapist and tell them your sick with the flu for today. And don't forget I having a girls night out with some of the ladies at work so I'll be home late. No later than 11. Alright?"

"Okay." I smiled.

I waited twenty minutes until I was sure she was gone to get up, shower dry my hair and get dressed in a white short sleeve shirt with this really nice rag hoody military cargo jacket I got at the second hand store with my Mom a few weeks before starting high school this year and a pair of jeans I've owned for a few years. I grabbed my phone, wallet and jacket and waited downstairs for Lark to come and get me. I asked him if a bicycle helmet would work, but he said he had an extra one helmet for me.

Eleven on the dot just as I finished a chapter in my book I heard the sound of a motorcycle coming from the streets and coming to an end in front of my house. I stood up and got my jacket and shoes on and began heading towards the door. I opened it just as Lark, with his hand up in a knuckle, was about to hit the front door.

"Oh, I thought I was coming to knock on the door and get you." He said.

"No it's okay, I don't mind coming and meeting you outside."

"So your the reason why chivalry is dead," He laughed. "I was taught to answer the girl at the door and meet her parents. Are either of your parents home?"

"No, my Mom is at work. And my Dad..." I paused, biting my lower lip and looked down a teeny bit.

"Oh," I heard Lark say and I looked up at him. "Don't worry, you don't have to say it. So your Mom let you stay home whenever you feel like it?"

"No, I lied and said I was a bit sick. I've never lied before though so this would be my one time... Okay, well except a few other times when it came to eating I would say I ate, when I really didn't."

Lark looked a bit surprised when I said that. Gosh, him and Ryder almost looked alike right now. Except one is blonde and the other brown haired. "You're... you..."

"Recovering bulimic." I shyly stated.

"Oh but you're good now, right? Like getting help I hope?" He asked me. I nodded. He smiled. "Great, that's good. So what do you wanna do Miss Rose?"

I shrugged. It was still a bit too cold to be outside and I don't think they had any good movies. Not that I'd be able to afford it anyways so I just suggested that we get on and go where ever Rodney decided to take us.

**_~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~_**

We drove on his motorcycle for half an hour before stopping by a small food market and pulled into the parking space. "Mind if we pop inside and I get a few things?"

"Sure no problem." I said as I got off with him. He adjusted his army green backpack on his back and we walked into the food store.

Now for a normal person food shopping is food shopping. For a person who decided they will eat_ after_ they food shop is clearly wrong because they will end up getting foods and snacks that they didn't intend to buy, just to feed themselves in the car on the drive home. For me personally, food shopping had it's own story. The food in the store sat there just waiting to be picked like a kitten in a brown box at a pet store and taken home for it's purpose. Not feeding the food or changing a liter box, no, but to be eaten. Then there are those big huge signs in every lane that tells me the food is 50-10 or even 5 percent off, making it more available to buy and take home for someone to eat and gain weight. That's all these signs are telling me. _Gain weight, eat calories and become as fat as your Mom. _Also just because I'm new to working on ending my bulimia, I didn't want to stay too long.

"Will we be here for long?" I asked Lark as he lead me into the pasta aisle.

"No, just here to grab a couple of things for dinner tonight." Lark told me as he grabbed a couple of boxes. "And the next few nights since I'm on my own and can't afford take out all the time. This box shit is affordable."

"I know that idea." I muttered, crossing my arms and following him.

We walked for another few minutes as he got sauce- red and Alfredo- and other things to make food. He could make basic pasta and then add things to make it more fancy. Garlic, tomatoes, basil, parsley, ect. He said I could come over if I wanted some fancy food and even send me home with some food. I laughed and thanked him. We got to the other end of the store and once arrived he gave me the money to buy his food and asked I pay for it while he got something else. I nodded.

I waited five minutes before Lark came out putting change into his pocket. He put the food in my bag into his backpack and we went back to his motorbike and stood there while I texted someone asking to e-mail me the homework. "You hungry?"

"A little." I said. "But I don't need an elaborate meal." I said to him.

"No problems," Lark smiled.

**_~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~_**

Lark drove for another ten minutes before we stopped at a red light, turned left and went down a street. This wasn't Lima Heights as I've seen that area in person, thanks to Santana showing me around, but this area seemed less dangerous and less violent. It seemed like a quiet neighborhood with just some loud people. A couple of homes and then apartments and stores like video rental stores, a small playground for children and some more stores for specific foods.

We stopped at this one building and Lark turned off his motorbike, inclining we arrived at his home. I looked at where he held his hand out and saw where he was living. He said, "When you step in it looks small, but its big."

We got up from the motorbike and I followed him inside of the building. It smelled like revolting moldy food and, maybe not surprising, drugs and cigarettes. But I kept forward.

We arrived at his door on the fourth floor where he inserted the key and opened it. "Not fancy, but hopefully good enough." He said as he pushed it open more.

I stepped in after him and observed the apartment. Small enough for one person, sure, but maybe a roommate too if it could be accommodated correctly to meet both renters needs. A small hallway to the left that lead to a brown door at the end, which Lark explained was he bathroom. And there was a closet along the right side of the wall in that small hallway to hang jackets up too. The living room, which was the first thing seen when entered, had a large box TV that I also owned with a table set in the front that had magazines and a couch to the front of that small table. A white couch that could fit two people only. To the opposite side of the room I was standing at and to the left was another open door. Bedroom maybe? The other side of the apartment consisted of a small kitchen; stove, sink, fridge and trash can. A round table in place with three different chairs.

"I like this," I told him. "It's kind of cozy."

"Thanks. Bathroom's straight down there if you need to take a leak. I'll start lunch."

I went to the brown door and opened it, finding the bathroom. It was pretty small and everything was close to one another. The glass shower was in the back right corner, with a blue shower curtain on the outside, the toilet to my instant right and the sink with the square mirror to the straight of me. To the left of me was a closet that I assumed held toilet papers and such.

After I finished my business I joined back into the kitchen and stood back watching Lark boil the water. I didn't want to get in his way so I stood where I was.

"I don't have a lot for a snack but there are crackers in the box on the table." He said.

"What's with the curtain over the shower?" I asked.

"More privacy." He told me.

Forty minutes passed and we sat on the couch watching some lame movie on TV while eating the spaghetti Alfredo with parsley and garlic. It tastes awesome. We talked about the movie and how stupid the characters were when I asked, "So Ryder doesn't like you a lot because of the...habits you have." He nodded. "Yeah the other day when we became Facebook friends, Ryder came over and started freaking out on me over it saying I shouldn't be around you. And Blaine too he was there."

"Ry's just overprotective crazy that's all." Lark said. "Does he know you've smoked anything yet?"

"NO! GOD NO!" I yelled. "I can only imagine him going off about it and then telling my Mom about it...but," I thought about it fo a minute. "It did feel good, but I don't want to smoke weed again."

"I won't force you." He said. he put his plate down and pulled from the table a deck of flashcards. "Wanna play Questions?"

"Sure." I smiled. He handed me several cards and I went first. "Oh, easy one,_ 'What action from you past would put you in jail if law enforcement ever found out?'_"

"Shit, drugs and alcohol." Lark laughed. "Best time was went I was being driven in the back of a police car and Mom was driving home from work. We both pulled at a red light, she saw me, and yelled at me. Alright, '_What is something you stole?_'"

"Um...nothing...I guess...well...this girl Kitty said I stole her boyfriend, Jake. But Jake and I were into each other at the time...Kitty was being a bitch and broke up with him."

"Why'd he date her?"

"Nobody made fun of him."

"Oh shit then, he didn't give a shit about her then. You didn't steal anything boyfriend."

" Lark, _What is the meanest thing that you have done in your life?"_

"Push a girl down. She stole my favorite Ninja turtle toy. _What is your guilty pleasure?"_

"Anything with Jessica Simpson in it." I told him. "What was the first professional sporting event you went to?"

"Baseball. Red Sox vs Mets." He said. "First crush?"

I blushed and felt myself turn red. My eyes shifted down and I muttered the name. Lark asked for me to say it again. "Ryder..."

Lark grinned and said, "Hey! I know that kid! First crush too...oh wait, that's Jake..never mind. First kiss?"

"Hey, my turn to ask!"

"Too late, now answer."

"Ryder."

"Dang, cousin and Marley getting it on together.

We laughed and continued for several more rounds of Questions. My heart beated more profoundly as we spoke. No I wasn't falling for him but I felt a lot happier being here than around anyone else right now. Lark was just wonderful and easygoing to talk with about anything. I mean besides the drugs and smoking I don't mind hanging with him. Ryder just needs to grow a pair and forget the drugs.

Lark put the cards down and pulled out the cigarettes from earlier. "You mind if I smoke?" He asked. I shook my head. He took one out of the package and lit up the end with his lighter thingy and took a few puffs. "So never dated?"

"No, Jake for three weeks. Then we lost Sectionals because of me and because I hadn't stopped puking at that point. So he just gave up and I heard he's with a bunch of Cheerio's now. The cheerleaders at our school." I explained. "And the only reason I stopped was because Kitty made me think Ryder didn't want to go out with me because I was fat, even though he cancelled his plans because of a doctors appointment."

"Oh the dyslexia one? Yeah Mom told me after Aunt Heather mentioned it to her." Lark said. "Sucks. Who's Bitch Satan by the way? She keeps blaming you for losing?"

"Tina?"

"What's Bitch Satan up to?"

"Nothing, she's ignoring me." I told Lark.

I could feel my nerves tingling like being tickled with a small feather. A deep sea on anxiety building up inside of me. I felt all the stress again inside of me from the other day and I could feel my hands becoming clammy and sweat fill my forehead. I turned to Lark and asked him, "Can I borrow one of those?"

**_~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~_**

Smoking it was hard at first because I'm so use to breathing in and out, but after a while I got the hang of smoking this cigarette in my mouth. It was so relaxing.

We finished the movie and by then he asked if I needed a lift home. "Not until my Mom comes home around ten."

"Cool, I'll make dinner."

We sat there in his place for the rest of the day. Talking, laughing, making jokes, smoking cigarettes. Lark went to the store again and bought more since we finished the first two boxes in three hours. I had about seven of them already. He made dinner by re-heating the lunch again. We watched Mean Girls and smoked throughout that. Lark had two or three bottles of beer with him too, but he said he was sober enough to drive back in his friends car.

Lark got me home by ten that night. He walked me to the front door and waited until I stepped inside the house. I turned back and smiled. "Thanks for the day, it was fun."

"No problem. Catch you later. Goodnight Marley." He smiled.

"Night Lark."

After shutting the door I watched him drive off in his friends car and once he was out of view I went to the kitchen and heated up the soup Mom made. While it was being made I checked the answering machine for messages. 20?

_Girl? It's Unique, call me later! I miss seeing my Boo today, feel better._

_Marley? It's Jake, can we talk? Call me._

_Listen Bulimic loser, stop purging and come to school tomorrow or this Kitty cat is going to throw her claws into your bones and drag you here._

_Marley? It's Mom, I'll be home around 11 tonight if you forgot. Call me when you get the chance. Love you._

The rest of them were from Ryder.

_Your Mom told me you're sick, feel better._

_Hey, you're not skipping to see Lark, are you?_

_Hey! One of the football guys said they saw you and Lark at the store! Marley! Call me!_

_Stop being around Lark._

_Call me._

_I'm gonna kick Lark's fucking ass._

I deleted all the messages. I ate the soup quickly then hurried upstairs to shower and put my pajamas on. I walked over to my jacket and pulled out something Lark gave me. Three packs of cigarettes, in case I needed some and wasn't with him.

I smiled. I know know they're bad, so today was my last day. I'll just keep them for when he comes visits.

* * *

**So, what's going on with Marley? What do you think is going to happen?**

**Opinions on Lark?**


	9. Three Weeks

**_~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~_**

**Sorry this is a bit short.**

* * *

**9\. Three Weeks**

Connie hadn't gone to the school yet, but that worried me to the bones still. I began skipping more and more classes to hang out with Lark and get pizza. Mom didn't find out for the three weeks, as I always had homework done, but she got in contact with both Mr. Schue and Principal Figgins who told her that I've been skipping classes. She talked to me that night in my room and said that I couldn't skip classes, I had to keep going so that I would have a good attendance record for colleges. I nodded. When she asked me why I skipped I just said, "I just felt like it." I'm pretty sure I didn't give an attitude tone, but Mom looked a little taken back.

After she had gone to bed that night I took out a cigarette, sat outside on my window and smoked it.

Mr. Schue had me go with him to Ms. Pillsbury office and talk to her about me skipping classes. Ms. Pillsbury thought it had to do with my therapy and eating disorder and feeling bad that New Directions lost Sectionals. I, however, sat there with crossed arms and crossed legs with a crossed face and when she asked me how I was feeling I said: Fine. I then said, "I'm fine. I'm not a nutcase, I'm not acting bad. I've just have a lot on my plate."

After that day I hung out with Lark and we smoked some cigarettes together.

The Glee kids weren't much help either. They had gone off to different clubs for the rest of the year and of course Blaine and Ryder were on my back with Lark. I didn't believe them though and ignored them as soon as Lark came up in a conversation. It hurt me that they spoke like this about him. I told Lark about it. He laughed it off saying Ryder was too overprotective and that Blaine was just a nice guy who, too, overprotective.

Every time one of them said 'Stay away from Lark,' I smoked a cigarette. I had at least six of them a day.

Mom finally met Lark and luckily Lark smelled nice and had nothing on him. She liked him a lot and said that as long as I got a ride home from him I could hang out with him in his apartment. 10 on school nights, 11 on weekends.

Lark and I took that and we stay at his place smoking and watching movies. Sometimes we went out and walked around, smoking of course in our hands, and laughing. If we saw a cop or whoever I would dodge and hide. I don't look old enough to smoke.

By the end of the three weeks it was Friday. I was awake alone at my house. Mom was asleep and everyone was out. I wanted Unique and Ryder to come hang out but they had plans of their own. I sat in my bed reading when I had an urge to smoke. It was hard to stop now. When I wanted one _I wanted one. _I pulled out of my underwear drawer the cigarette packs I had and pulled one out of a box along with a lighter.

I stood against the wall, the open window at my side, smoking and blowing the cigarette. I finished one, dunked it in my water glass and threw it in the trash bin. I pulled a second one out. I was in the middle of it when my door open quickly.

"Marley do you want—" Mom stopped and saw what her daughter was doing. I reacted quickly by throwing it outside the window and dropping the box, but she saw them. "Marley Jane Rose! What in the world did I catch you doing!?"

Busted.

"Mom...I was... I just... I was..." Where the hell were my words at the moment!?

Mom came in and towards me. A stern darken face of anger faced me as she stopped and glared at me. "Were you smoking!?"

"Yes," I muttered.

"Why in the world would you smoke, young lady?" She crossed her arms.

"It...felt good?" I sounded so lame. Now the tears broke. "Mom, I'm so sorry, Mom please don't be mad."

"How long? And who gave these to you?"

"A...few days...and some k—kids at school," I lied. She liked Lark and I didn't want him in trouble.

"Honestly Marley, is something bothering you that you would do this?"

"No," I lied. "I just wanted try some of it."

"You know how bad smoking can damage your lungs Marley," Mom spoke sternly. She picked up the cigarette box and held them out to me. "Don't you ever dare take one of these again. If I catch you with it in your hands one more time you will be punished. Understand?" I nodded. "Good, I'm going to make dinner now."

She left my room with the cigarette box. I slumped down against my wall crying. I don't even know why I was crying about; Mom finding the cigarettes, Mom finding me smoking the cigarette or at my own disgrace of even smoking in general. I cried until Mom called me down and I ate with a now very happy mother who had found a job at another general store like CVS and had hours that she liked.

When I went to bed that night, about two hours after Mom wen to bed, I cried myself to sleep. But I wasn't crying because of Mom finding the cigarettes or finding me smoking a cigarette.

I wanted to smoke.

And I had another full box in my drawer.


	10. Three Weeks, Five Days

**_~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~_**

* * *

**10\. Three Weeks, Five Days**

Friday I sat in history class with Ryder and Mr. Schue. Mom hasn't mentioned anything to anyone and I know that for a fact because nobody has spoken to me in person about it. I haven't smoked since Mom found me in my room but I craved for one so badly. I chewed on my fingernails to keep myself occupied but after I ate all my fingers, by Tuesday, I had to find a new habit. Singing helped and writing songs down too but that only helped for a short time.

I was occupied in my head again that I almost didn't notice the paper set in front of me. D-. It was Ryder's. (Sometimes Mr. Schue gives a test or quiz back to the wrong person, usually the partner that sat next to you). I handed it over to Ryder, face down of course, but Ryder handed it back. "This is yours Marley, I got mine. A+ too!" He cheered.

I was shock. I checked the name and it had my name, my handwriting. D- ?

The bell rang. I packed up everything and was about to leave when Mr. Schue called me to his front desk. I got up here with the D- paper in my hand. "Oh good, it's a mistake."

"The D-? No, that's what I was going to talk to you about." He said.

"I'm fine." I told him. I knew where he was going with this. If I had problems, if I was emotionally okay, blah blah blah crap. "I'm fine, I'll just study harder next time."

"Marley that isn't the point," He opened his grade book. "You had an A+ last week on a similar quiz, now this week you have a D- for a grade. Did something happen? Is everything okay at home?"

_Oh my god, no, I don't need this now. _"Yeah, I'm fine!" I yelled.

"Are you sure?" He asked me.

" 'Are you sure' " I mimicked him. "I'm freaking FINE! I keep telling you this all the time because you're just too damn stupid to realize you have asked me that question since the day after I caused us to lose Sectionals!" I barked in his face. He sat back a little startled but seemed okay.

I got up and left the classroom and went to Health class next. I sat in the back row again and kept to myself. That is until I got a test back and received a D- on that too.

Same with English class. A D-. But for science I got a C-.

* * *

At lunch time I took my tray and instead of sitting with Glee kids, where usually Ryder or Blaine saved a seat for me opposite ended from Tina, and instead took my tray to the football field and watched the football players practice for a big game coming up. Second to last game then the finals. I heard laughter from below and knew who it was. Maybe Lark was there too. I stood up and followed down to the laughing and caught Stoner Brett and his friends. Obviously high at this point. Zandra came over and offered me some crack, I shook my head. She handed me weed and said, "Brett say last free time, pay next." Then she stumbled back to the others. I forgot how to take this so I walked over to Brett and watched him inhale it.

I followed his steps. It took me a while to get the drift of it again, but I think it worked. If someone were to ask me what it's like to get high I'd tell them It's kinda like that feeling you get when you are kinda in between dreaming and being awake in the middle of the night where you feel all out of it and weird, but usually in a good way. You also notice small details more and feel like you are gaining crazy revelations about normal stuff. I looked up into the sky and notice the clouds and said, "Whoa, when you think about it clouds are so weird! their like floating blobs of white that circle around the purple sky with orange stars."

"Yeah...I see some weird hippie clown...and dragons." Someone else pointed out.

Now I know what The Beatles used to make their song Marley in the Sky with Diamonds, except with weed this time instead of LSD.

I saw my world turn vivid colors as things began floating around. My papers came out of my backpack and the D's turned to flowers and my C- became a chocolate bar that I wanted to eat but instead the chocolate bar flew away with golden wings it had grown and called from above. _"Nooooo Marley...none for youuuuuu..." _Well that sucked. I wanted food so desperately.

I looked towards the ground. The grass was moving like water, slowly drifting me away from everyone as the scenery around me turned to more groovy colors of a rainbow lava lamp. I could hear the birds chirpping away and singing a sweet loving song. Four birds came along dressed in formal suites and had bob-like cuts and in their British accents began to sing to me.

I felt myself being lifted up and the colors around me changed rapidly. I found myself on a flying carpet and leaving Lima and going to the sky. I held arms out fully and took in the sunshine that I was given. Freedom, liberating and happy. I laughed and laughed until I could laugh no more. I glanced down to the ground that had begun to rise up to catch up with me. The Glee girls were changing colors; red sparkles, blue stars, yellow stripes, black sparkles, violet stripes with green sparkles...every combination possibly thought of. The Glee boys, too, joined along. They were doing the cane-cane dance and some of them were dancing and playing together.

I felt the carpet push me forward and I came off of it. But instead of falling, I was flying. Flying high and above the sky. I heard the four British birds following behind me. Singing to me as we all flew up high and high and soon reaching space. The white stars were glistening and dancing around with one another. The birds sang out again.

_Marley in the sky with diamonds_  
_Marley in the sky with diamonds_  
_Marley in the sky with diamonds_  
_Aaaaahhhhh..._

* * *

I thought I heard myself singing that as I woke up. I found myself inside of a bedroom that seemed all too familiar...Blaine's?

I sat up from the bed and observed again. Yup, Blaine's room. Where was Blaine?

As if my questioned was heard, the door swung open and Blaine came in with some soup and crackers with water and pills. "Afternoon Marley."

"Hmmmm?" I groaned. My head killed.

"Do you remember anything, Marley?" He asked me as he settled the tray on the end of the bed and gently sat on the bed himself. "Anything at all?"

"Hmmm..." I groaned again. "Birds...Beatles... candy bars...Mr. Schue..." That was all I could remember. Everything else was a blur to me.

"Hmm, I figured." Blaine told me in a matter-of-fact voice. "I decided to skip my last class, art elective, and drive home. I passed the football field for a change of route and saw you with Stoner Brett and his friends. Did you get high, Marley?"

"No..." I said, but my head killed. "I...raggy...chocolate bar...history...Dartmouth...piggies."

"You're just getting passed this first time be high. You've must of been really out of it if Mr. Schue was in it and chocolate raggy things too." I think he was trying to joke. "You'll be fine, I'll care for you until you feel like yourself again. I called your Mother and said you were coming here after school."

"Mom...pies...cigarettes." I spoke.

"Cigarettes? Your Mom doesn't smoke."

"I...I wanna...I wanna..." I coughed several times. "I wanna... cig..." The latter word didn't come out fully.

"You can sing later." Blaine told me, thinking I meant 'Sing'. "Just rest now. I have food here, some water and some pills to help with that high hangover."

I didn't speak or eat for a while, I just slept. Luckily Blaine didn't ask too much, though I don't know why though. Maybe he guessed all the stress I was under?


	11. Lord Tubbington

**Sorry if this chapter is a bad one.**

**_~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~_**

* * *

**11\. Lord Tubbington.**

Blaine asked me after I was myself again why I got high in the first place. I told him about my grades and how that worried me a lot. He assured me with a small smile, "It's just three bad grades. You still have plenty of time to get grades better. Just please don't handle it this way Marley. Getting high will only give you more trouble."

"Don't tell my Mom, please?" I begged as I used my hands to hold onto his left wrist.

"I won't. Promise you just won't get like this again. Okay?"

"Okay."

"But what was with the cigarettes though? Did Brett offer a cigarette, or any of those kids?" I shook my head. "Good, don't even start. It's just as bad as weed."

He made me promise to not smoke pot weed again, but never a cigarette. His exact words were 'Don't even start' and since I had started before that, I could smoke a cigarette.

Later that night I tried to look for some, but was empty. Crap. All I has was weed that someone snuck in my backpack and left a note for me. It wasn't Lark's writing though, Zandra's I think. I sniffed it and put it away. That helped a little.

* * *

I had found a new place for New Direction's to practice singing even though Glee was over for the year. It was in the courtyard lunch area, the same one that had a purple piano one year and I guess while Blaine was trying to dance The Carlton Dance Santana and the other cheerleaders, minus Brittany, had put the purple piano on fire. Finn liked the idea and so did everyone else after Finn wrote an email to everyone saying how we should all stay together in Glee club even though there is no Glee classroom to practice in or that Glee club is over.

Tina, of course, bitched about it after two days. Complaining about the bitter cold and having to wear extra layers just to keep warm. She didn't say my name directly but the way she spoke she made it clear it was my fault that we were here.

_Fuck off Tina._ I though.

I sat at lunch with the others as it was too snowy to go out there. I wondered where Stoner Brett went to get high? Maybe the school basement? I didn't touch my spaghetti and meatballs which Ryder noticed.

"Are you not hungry Marley?" He asked.

"Not really," I said. I actually wanted a cigarette. "Do you have change on you? I'm sorry to ask, but I want a cookie."

Ryder nodded and dug into his pocket to get me some change for the cookie. He handed me a five and said to get one for everyone at the table. I nodded and went up to the line to get food. Brittany came out of the line with her food and came up to me.

"Hey Marley, is it okay I put Lord Tubbington in your locker?" She asked. "My locker is filled with too much stuff so I put him inside. He was lonely today. He won't eat anything I promise."

"Um sure." I told her. I had nothing in my lockers anyways besides old notebooks. I haven't used my locker in a month anyways as I could carry all my materials either in my arms or in my backpack.

"Great thanks." Brittany smiled.

* * *

Glee Club continued outside. Finn said that we could stay until a half hour after the sun settled, then could go home. We lined up to rehearse a Christmas song when Sam pointed out Brittany wasn't here. And just on cue Brittany came out of the doors with Lord Tubbington in her arms. She looked a little worried.

"What's wrong Brittany?" Mr. Schue asked her.

"I have to miss Glee today Mr. Schue. Lord Tubbington is sick and I don't know why he's sick." Brittany told him. "Last time I saw him this sick he ate too much marijuana."

"Why is there pot in your locker?" Kitty asked.

"No, he was't in my locker. He was in Marley's locker. But I checked her locker before and after I put him in there and there was nothing in her locker before."

That's when it hit me. One of the stoner kids asked me to hold some weed for them and I put it in a small bag and placed that in a brown paper bag and shoved it to the back of my locker. I felt terrible now for Brittany her her cat. I felt like going with her, but how without being suspicious?

"He might of eaten some old tuna salad I had in my locker," I said. "Sometimes I don't like the lunch I bring, to save money from buying food, so I shove it in the back. There was probably an egg salad too."

"But Lord Tubbington only eats chocolate bars," Brittany said.

"Maybe he was starving and desperate?" I asked so stupidly. She'd never fall for that...then again it's Brittany.

"Good point." Brittany said. She turned back to Mr. Schue and asked, "Can I go?"

"Sure."

"Mr Schue, since it's my locker he got sick from can I go with her?" I asked. He nodded.

* * *

We arrived at the vet's office and within twenty minutes Lord Tubbington was taken in. I felt my hands shaking uncontrollably thinking that if he got sick from the drugs, it'd be _my fault_ because I was stupid to leave them inside of my locker. Brittany chewed her her fingernails and tapped her foot against the chair.

"Brittany I'm really sorry," I said.

"No it's fine, maybe he just needed a check up and did anything to come here." She smiled warmly at me.

I tried to tell her again but then the doctor came in carrying the large cat in his arms. Lord Tubbington still looked the same, but Brittany's actions of happiness made me think she saw him as better.

"Lord Tubbington, is he okay?" Brittany asked as she took him back in her arms. "Did he eat a bad tuna?"

"No Brittany, Lord Tubbington is addicted to Mary-Jane again," He told her.

"But Lord Tubbington is still in love with Mr. Puss." Brittany told him. "Unless there was weed in that locker, but that's impossible because Marley never uses drugs."

My stomach began to churn and twist in too many ways to even describe. I just felt sick and wanted to puke. Not wait, I wanted to smoke a cigarette.

Brittany had Lord Tubbington face her and she said to him, "I am not speaking to you again. You need to stop eating pot and getting high. And do not ever sneak out of someone's locker and go to Stoner Brad again, okay?"

"Britt, I'm sorry."

"No, don' worry." She smiled warmly. "Lord Tubbington has been taking drugs for years now. He's been off for a few months but I guess he just got back into it again."

* * *

When I got home that night I was alone in my room. I seriously felt terrible that Lord Tubbington got sick.

God I wanted a cigarette.


	12. Drawers

**Sorry if this chapter is a bad one.**

**_~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~_**

* * *

**12\. Drawers.**

Connie messaged me on Facebook. She wasn't going to live in Lima, thank god, but she said she would come visit when she had free time and when it wasn't too cold outside. Maybe she would forget me and forget the whole thing after a whole winter.

I haven't hung out with Lark so much or the stoner kids. I've been busy with homework. But that doesn't mean that I didn't get what I needed. Sure I had my friends, my songs and music but sometimes I needed some more. I stole some cigarettes from a senior on the basketball team and the last time I did hang out with the stoner kids I managed to take some weed off of them. One of them, Chandler, asked me to hold some drugs for them until the scene was 'cool'. Whatever that meant.

So right now I had in my underwear draw in baggies; Weed, crack, steroids, ecstasy, LSD and meth.

I got Puck to give me Jack Daniels, and asked him to not tell Jake or anyone. He agreed as long as I got him another date with Kitty. Wasn't too hard as Kitty was a Puckbuger and agreed.

I was sitting in my room doing homework when Ryder called and asked if I could help him with some math. "Sure just come on over. When we're done my Mom said we could have the leftover dinner from last night. Your favorite."

Ryder came over here in ten minutes and came into my room. I shut the door and turned the light on some more. "Your Mom is cool with the door shut?"

"She trusts me." I said to him.

Ryder sniffed a little and made a face. A disgusted one. "I have a stuffy nose, but no offense your room smells like shit."

"Well excuse me I don't have time to do my laundry!" I yelled. But laughed and said, "Besides I'm just a little behind due to homework and writing songs."

"It smells like someone been smoking in here. Lark?" He gave a cold, dark glare. I shook my head. "Good."

We did our math homework but halfway into it we started to get bored and instead laughed about other things and spoke. He did ask about Lark and I told him I haven't seen him in a while. I didn't admit that I missed hanging out with him but I did miss him.

"Good. He's not a good guy." Ryder told me. He coughed a few times then sneezed. "I hate being sick."

"Oh I'm sorry. I have some Tylenol downstairs if you want some." I said. Just then my light flicked on and off. The one above my white dresser. "Stupid light."

"Do you mind?" He asked me, regarding the medicine.

"Sure. I'll be right back up." I said to him.

* * *

I walked downstairs and saw Mom putting her jacket on. "I'm just heading to work now. I'm covering someone until midnight. You and Ryder behave yourselves, alright?"

"Okay." I told her.

I grabbed the medicine when I remembered that I had a lighter and a cigarette in my pocket. Maybe just one. I called up to the stairs. "Hey Ryder, I'm going to heat up the food. You can have the medicine down here."

_"Okay Marley."_

I went back to the kitchen and started to heat up the food again. It was freezing cold so I had to place it back in the microwave for at least five minutes. I did so and took out the sauce and some bread to add to it. I stepped outside to the backyard and lit up the cigarette and placed it in my mouth. I held it, let the smoke enter me, took it out and released the smoke from my mouth. Any stress I had in me was gone and I felt like myself again, so I placed it my mouth again. I did it again.

I heard something break inside my house minutes later. I dropped the cigarette and stepped on it, ran inside and yelled, "Ryder!?"

_"I was fixing your light and fell! I'm okay! Food done!?"_

The microwaved beeped. "Just finished."

I put the lighter in my pocket and took big bowl of pasta out, then put the sauce in for a few minutes. Ryder must be cleaning up the room a little bit before coming down and eating. I poured the now ready sauce over the pasta, grabbed some Parmesan cheese from the cabinet and put a bit on the sauce.

Ryder's feet came down the stairs finally. He usually ran into the kitchen when Mom made spaghetti and meatballs. Except there were no meatballs tonight, but he wouldn't care. He was also sick so he probably wanted to take his time getting inside the kitchen. "Finally, I thought you broke a bone or something."

"Marley." His voice was soft.

"Thanks for fixing the light though. Or attempting to fix it."

"Marley." His voice was still soft, but louder.

"You didn't need too fix it though."

"Marley, turn around!" He raised his voice.

I turned around to see him standing there. A worried expression on his face, almost confused and frighten. I asked him what was wrong and he just held up some baggies. Specifically the weed baggies, the crack baggies and the cigarette boxes. I froze in my place and became as white as chalk with my lips tightly secured to one another, my teeth biting into the skin of my lips. I felt my lungs drop to my stomach and my heart stop beating. I dared myself to not look in his eyes, but I didn't dare myself enough.

His soft face was now full of questions and his breathing slowed down.

"Marley what is this shit?" He asked me.

"Old things, months ago. I was holding them for someone." I said.

"Don't lie to me Marley. Have you been taking drugs?" He asked me. When I didn't answer he said it again. "Are. You. Taking. Drugs?"

"No. I'm not. I was holding them for someone." I lied again. "I'm getting rid of them."

"Right now. Flush it down the toilet now." He said to me. "I'll throw the cigarettes out when I leave later."

"Fine." I said, grabbing the bags and going to the bathroom. Ryder followed behind me and watched as I flushed all of them down the toilet. I flushed the toilet three times just to be sure they were out of the toilet system. I turn back. "Are you happy now?"

"I would be if you didn't sound too pissed off. You better not be taking drugs Marley. Lark took them and he went downhill."

"Would you not compare me to Lark for a minute Ryder?" I asked with an attitude. "I'm not Lark. I will never be like Lark. Ever."

"Good." He said. He then smiled and said, "So, Shall we eat?"

* * *

He promised to not tell anyone about it. Not even Mom. So long as I never did that again. After he left I went into the backyard and picked up my cigarette and tossed that in the trash bin, covering it with other trash. I walked upstairs to my room and dug into my other drawer, where my socks were, and pulled out a cigarette.

I had three that night before bed.


	13. Sadie Hawkins

**So I'm just assuming Sadie Hawkins takes place in January.**

* * *

**13\. Sadie Hawkins.**

Christmas came and went. Coach Sue had given Mom and me a lot of things including money for my therapy and new clothes. Brittany also gave me a fancy, expensive watch for when she and Sam thought the world was ending. I wasn't allowed to buy gifts or anything, because of therapy, but I made cards for everyone. I even managed to get one to Lark in his apartment by slipping it under his door. He Facebook messaged me.

_**Thanks Marley. Now, go to your mailbox.**_

I got out of bed and down the stairs and went outside and reached into the mail box. There I grabbed two letters and a box. I went back inside the house and back to my room. One was a card from Lark, wishing my Mom and I a merry Christmas, then inside of the box was the gift. I opened the box and found wrapped inside a pair of silver feather earrings and bottle cap earrings made from my favorite soda bottle; grape soda.

_Thank you! I love them, but aren't they expensive?_

_**Nah, fathers were like twenty and I got a friend who handmade the bottle caps. All I needed was the two bottles from you.** _That would explain last week when we were at the movies and he asked me for my empty soda bottles.

**_Hey Marley, can I just let you in on a secret?_**

_Sure Lark._

**_You know we're just friends, right? I mean I see you as a kid sister and all..._**

_It's fine. TBH, It's another Lynn-member I like more._

**_Oh, yeah...haha...that kid. Not surprised. I went to a family dinner last week and he was there and before me and him went to the basement, where he gave me a bloody eye, all he spoke about was Marley Rose._**

_Why'd he give you a blackeye?_

**_'coz of drugs, what else? HAHAHA_**

We talked for a bit more before we signed off. I saw the second letter and saw the address. It was from a rehab center and was addressed by James Rose.

I ripped that letter up and threw it in the trash.

* * *

Monday I came in and in some Glee meeting we had later in the day Tina had told everyone that we would be having a Sadie Hawkins dance this upcoming Friday. Girls had to sing a song and ask their man of choice out.

No doubt in my mind who I was going to ask to the dance.

The following day Brittany and I sang 'Tell Him' in the science room too all the guys in the room. Jake tried to make eye contact with me, but my eyes always landed on Ryder. Of course I was nervous as hell during the whole performance and at the end when Brittany was giving me _the look _as we sang "Tell him right now," I just got the spark to do so. By the last note of the song I yelled out randomly, "Ryder!"

Everyone's eyes landed on me, even Ryder, and out of the nerves I said, "I mean...Uh..." I fell forward on my knees and asked, "Ryder, would you like to go to the dance with me?"

He didn't even wait a second. He smiled and said, "Of course."

I smiled. Then there was a scream outside and everyone turned around to see that neck brace cheerleader, Celeste, looking pissed off and stormed away.

Brittany asked Sam, which he said yes. I spotted Sugar going to Artie and asking him, which he agreed. Kitty yelled.

"Puckerman, you're going with me. End of story."

Jake shrugged.

After class Ryder and I walked out of the class together and talked about the dance. He said he would come get me at the house. "But my parents are going to come. They'll want the pictures. It's not even prom."

"My Mom might take some too." I laughed. "I'll call you later, okay?"

"Okay."

* * *

After school I went to Lark's apartment by taking a bus. I told Mom, she said it was fine. When I got off the bus I pulled out a cigarette and began smoking as I walked down the street to the apartment. I got inside with the spare key he had given me and called his name out. "Lark?"

"Fairy!" I heard laughter from the bedroom. "Pizza bar."

I shut the door behind me as I followed into the bedroom. I never been inside of his bedroom before so when I walked in I was surprised. His apartment was kept clean, but his room would put Ms. Pillsbury into a coma. Clothes thrown askew all over the floor and one hanging up on a fan. His queen size bed with white bedding and a beige cover was twisted and tangled all over the place. One white pillow was on the ground, one beige color pillow was at the foot of the bed.

"Lark?"

"Marley?" A laugh broke out my name. "Hey lady, didn't know you was coming...pizza?"

I looked inside some more and saw Lark at the bay window. He looked totally high. I thought he had stopped getting so high. "Lark? I thought you didn't smoke weed."

"I got back into...'bout week ago. Wanted a cig, but had nothing...so took some weed...haha." He laughed again. "I got no pizza, but I got brownies..."

"Pot brownies?"

"Maybe." He suggested.

I sat next to him on the bay window and started to tell him about the upcoming dance. He asked what I was going to wear and I told him about this pretty green dress that I own and the shoes that I thought would go along with it. I mentioned I asked Ryder and he smirked at me. "Cool, that kid is gonna have the prettiest girl at that dance." We talked some more before I went to the bathroom and before I left I saw a scale. I stepped on it, not fearing due to my therapist saying I've improved a lot. I saw the number. 115. Something inside of me changed though, I felt a bit strange about that number.

I joined Lark back in his room and we looked out the window. He handed me a cigarette and we both smoked, his weed and my cigarette. He asked how I've managed to keep the cigarette smell off of me. "Lots of perfume." I told me. "And breathe mints. And I wash my clothes in the washer twice."

"Nice." He said. "Wanna smoke some pot?"

"No. I can't."

"Why not?"

"Because I nearly killed my friends cat with the weed I had in my locker and...well my Dad..."

"Papa Rose died from pot?"

"What? No, he went to jail for having crack on him and driving under the influence and some other stuff. He's been in jail for a couple of years and I guess he's in a rehab place now." I explained. "Some mean kids at my schools before this one found out and called me crack baby." I felt miserable inside.

"That's crack." Lark stated. "I ain't giving you crack, hell I don't use crack. I use pot only. It's just pot."

He had a point, but I still said no. He shrugged it off and held it back to himself.

We ended up watching _The Kids Are Alright _while eating pizza that I ordered for him. We got five boxes so he would be satisfied. He came down from being high about three hours into me being there and said, "So any chance I can sneak in?"

"Under 18?"

"Uhh, Marley, I'm about twenty next month." Shit, he was right. His birthday was next month...on Valentine's Day too. "I guess you could sneak in. I heard this year Sue Sylvester is out of town to judge a cheering contest."

"Sweet, I'll hang with Brett." He said.

We hung out for a little longer before he offered me a ride home. Mom was at work. I agreed and we took his friends car to the house. Before we got out I asked for a cigarette. "I ran out."

"Here you go."

"Thanks." I smiled.


	14. Sadie Hawkins Night I

**So I'm just assuming Sadie Hawkins takes place in January.**

* * *

**14\. Sadie Hawkins Night. I**

The night of the dance came soon.

I put my dress on for the fifth time in a row. I've puked all week just to fit into this dress. Just for this week. Then I'll eat again. But certain areas of my dress felt tighter than the rest and it made me uncomfortable when I wore it. I was going with Ryder who didn't care what I looked like; he liked me for me. But I'd still like to take the effort and try to get this one on and have it fit me and I would look perfect for this perfect night. I finished curling my hair and applying my bottle cap earrings when Mom called for me.

I hurried down the stairs to find Ryder with his parents in the living room. God he looked so handsome too, just like he always did too. I saw in his hand one of those corsage flowers you place on a girls wrist.

Ryder had given me the courage and we posed together for a couple of minus for the pictures our parents wanted to take. Ryder leaned in at one point and softly whispered, _"You're beautiful, Marls." _I swear I blushed hot pink when he said that to me.

Ryder's parents took both cars here so that Ryder could take his mother's Volkswagen Jetta to the dance. The drive there he was telling me how he had a solo himself and a solo for the boys numbers and he had some funny dances that would surly embarrassed me.

"Oh God, that's just crazy!" I laughed as we arrived into the school parking lot. I took my seat belt off and was about to open the door when Ryder told me to stop. He rushed out of his seat, jogged to my side and held the door open with one hand while his other hand held out for me to grasp. "Thank you," I said taking his hand.

We walked into the building and saw the beautiful Winter decorations that hung from the ceiling and the walls. Snowflakes everywhere and white lights hung to resemble the Christmas we just had weeks earlier. Ryder and I made ourselves over to where the rest of the Glee kids were and I noticed that Sam wasn't here but Brittany was. Where was Sam? Blaine told me that Sam's been going over the Dalton Warblers and how they were able to perform such high tricks that were impossible for any performer to perform.

Soon after more students joined in and the music began. I felt a little intense dancing, seeing as my dress felt a little tight in some areas. But obviously the music was too fun to not dance too that I didn't want to stop dancing. During the middle of one of the songs Ryder put his hands around my waist and pulled me closer to him. I wrapped my arms around his neck and pulled him closer too and soon our foreheads were touching.

"Hey!" He yelled over the music, "Can I ask you something later?"

"Sure." I nodded.

The girls and I went on stage a little later to sing 'Locked Out Of Heaven' and while on stage I kept making sure to catch eye contact with Ryder at times. He too kept eye contact on me and I could of sworn he was only watching me and none of the other girls.

The song ended and I ran over to Ryder who embraced me in open arms widely. "You were amazing!"

"Thanks, but I wasn't the only one." I told him.

"I only have eyes for you," He winked. I felt my cheeks turn bright pink again.

"I'm just going to the bathroom real quick." I told him.

I made it into the girls room where the girls were adjusting their hair and makeup and one girl looking for a tampon. I sighed. I weight enough to have a period, but I still haven't gotten mine in a few months. Even though when I'm PMSing all I want is s'mores, chocolate and ice cream and I'm both a bitch and I cry more easily than already. Maybe I didn't want it back, I said to myself and laughed. I took my small brush out of my bag and brushed my hair.

"Oh looks, it's Dog." I heard Kitty say. "Brushing your fur?"

"I thought you were taking Jake," I said. I saw Kitty come with Jake's brother, Puck, instead. "What happened?"

"Please I wanna have a real experience tonight in the back of my car. Not some wannabe." Kitty remarked. "Have you gained weight back?"

"Your not done with insults even after I fainted?" I sneered at her. "What the fuck is wrong with you?"

"Meow, someone cussing. Just because I said we were going to be friends doesn't mean I won't get the chance to insult you at any given moment." She explained. "Later Fatty Patty."

I rolled my eyes as I finished brushing my hair. I got intense again when I shifted my weight and felt an area tighten up again, causing me to realize that I have gained weight for this dress. I was done puking. I dug into my bag and saw my tools. A lighter and five cigarettes, hidden well inside of my bag. I crept into a stall and smoked a cigarette while pretending to do my business. When I finished I flushed the used cigarette and took some perfume and breathe mints, washed my hands and returned to the dance floor. Ryder was at our table waiting. "Long line?" he asked.

"Yes."

* * *

Two hours of the dance passed. Ryder and I couldn't help keeping our hands on one another and with the exception of when he and the other guys were on stage and danced to 'No Scrubs', he and I were never separate. Oh and bathroom breaks too. Boy, his dancing in No Scrubs was embarrassing and hilarious.

I was eating food with him when I got a text from Lark. "I'll be right back."

He said to meet him outside the front doors of the school. I met him and he looked just as handsome as Ryder. Dressed formally in tux and tie, his hair neat as usual and smelled nice. "Does this school have a teacher who will breathe us for drinks or drugs?"

"No." I said. "I'll point you out to where Brett is." I said taking his hand and bringing him inside.

We made it back to the dance room and guided him through the dancers to where the stoner kids were, well, being kind of high. Most of them got excited seeing Lark and the rest of them were just laughing as some orange hippo on the ceiling. I stood there and talked to Lark a bit and then he asked, "Can we have one dance?" I nodded and pulled my phone out to text Ryder.

_Dancing with someone for 1 song. I'll see you at the table after that._

The song _Every time We Touch _by _Cascada _was being played. It was a very fast pace dance song. I nearly fell to my feet at the end but Lark caught me and held me in his arms until the end of the song. All he did was swing me around in a circle until the last song. I felt like everyone was looking at us but I ignored them. The last note ended and soon the next song started. Lark put me on my feet again. "You are a klutz on the floor."

"No you're the klutz on the floor!" I laughed. I felt someone tap my shoulder and I glanced over my shoulder to see Ryder standing there. He was happy but I could sense a small, uncomfortable, indignation that I was with the cousin he hated. He pulled a force smile and looked at Lark.

"Oh, hi Lark. Surprise to see you here." He said.

"Hey Ry, yeah, Zandra over there invited me." Lark said. "Our little Marley here is a klutz on the floor."

"I am not a klutz." I repeated.

"'Kay Marley. Catch you guys later."

He left us. I turned back to Ryder who still looked the same but calmed as Lark furthered himself from us. "Marls," He started to say. "I thought you stopped talking to Lark."

"I think I said I haven't seen him much in person. I only saw him this week, Tuesday and now." I said.

"But you're not, like, doing illegal things with him are you?"

"No. I promise, I'm not that stupid Ryder." I stated and said it with each word clearly understandable. I smiled and said, "Let's dance now, please?"

* * *

We danced four more songs before Ryder went on stage to sing his solo. "Dedicating this to all the couples out here tonight, including those special girls out there on the floor." He made eye contact with me and winked. I laughed. His music began and it was the song 'I Only Have Eyes For You.'

I stood there watching him sing into the microphone. He never left eye contact with me, almost as if he were dedicating the song to only me. It made me feel warm on the inside. I wanted to go up on stage and dance with him but I didn't want to take his sunshine away. It wasn't until motioned me up that I followed him on stage and we slow danced together. My arms around his back as his free hand was around my waist and pulled me closer to him. We stepped side to side for dancing.

We danced for another hour together. The dance was ending in an hour than Ryder and I were going to get ice cream on the way home. I already felt fat in my dress. I knew I had gain to much weight. I'm fat, but I'm not fat, but I'm fat. I could hear all the voices in my head again...then Tina's voice bitching at me for losing Sectional's for them...and Mom finding out about the cigarette...and then the bad grades I had gotten weeks ago... I felt the stress inside of me again.

I needed a cigarette.

Ryder was going to the bathroom and it looked like the line was a mile long. I haven't seen Lark since that LMFAO song played, two songs after Ryder sang his solo, so I went in search for him.

Zandra said that Lark, Brett and some others were outside for some fun. I'd only be a few minutes.

I went outside and looked around until I saw Lark and five other guys standing in a circle drinking beer bottles. I walked over and with the exception of Lark, the rest of them were pretty drunk. "Lark?"

He turned around. His eyes were wicked red and he looked stone as fuck. "Marley...Hi!..." His pupils were dilated. "Beer?"

"No thanks." I said to him, then spotted something in his other hand. "What's that?"

"Oh...uh...coke or meth, I forgot..." He slurrted his word. He tossed his bottle to the ground, breaking it, and grabbed my left hand. "Want some? I no force if you no want...but happy...in world...Candy land."

He had no idea what he was saying anymore. And I didn't want to take it and I opted for my last cigarette though. But when I reached into my bag I saw I had none left. Crap. I sighed. I needed one now. "Got a cigarette, Lark?"

"No, just Mr. Needles." He smirked. "Marley Wanny Needy?"

I didn't want it, but I needed something. Something to release my stress.

* * *

**Uh-oh, what is Marley going to do?**

**Now that Lark is back onto the drug scene, what do you think will happen now?**


	15. Sadie Hawkins Night II

**So I'm just assuming Sadie Hawkins takes place in January.**

* * *

**15\. Sadie Hawkins Night. II**

_"No, just Mr. Needles." He smirked. "Marley Wanny Needy?"_

_I didn't want it, but I needed something. Something to release my stress._

I was about to decline his offer gently when I heard someone roaring.

"MARLEY!"

That was Ryder. And when I turned around I knew that in his perspective he could see me, Lark, a needle filled with drugs and beer bottles.

"What the hell!?" He yelled.

"Ryder, I was looking for Lark!" I yelled.

"Hey Kid...she looking for me...needing candy." Lark said before deciding to sit down as he said, "Whoa, moving Earth, needa sit down."

Ryder finished storming his way over here and stepped between Lark and I with anger in his eyes. "You said you weren't using drugs!"

"I'm not! I was't! I was looking for Lark! I wanted to talk to someone while you were gone!" I yelled.

"Well go talk to Unique! Or Sugar! Or Brittany! Hell, talk to Zandra for all I care! Just don't hang out this idiot in the first place, Marley. He's an idiot!"

"Oh what are you calling him a loser you jock!?" I snapped.

"No, I am just telling you that of all the people to hang out with there are better people than this guy here!" Ryder argued back. "Look at him Marley! He's gone down the fucking hill of his life! That stuff about going to school and going to college? It's not going to happen unless he puts his fucking head on his shoulders and knocks all the damn drugs out of his head!"

"Ryder," I said more calmly. "I was just looking for Lark. I wanted to talk to him as a friend. I didn't expect him to be like this and I didn't even want to try whatever is in his hands.

Ryder cooled down as his face soften. He seemed to believe me. He put a hand to his forehead. "Fine, I'm sorry I over reacted. I just...I would hate to see you go this way. Lark's my best friend, or at least use to be my best friend, we did everything together. Then he got into the drug scene and I knew it was bad and knew it was illegal to do. So we drifted and his life went down for a while. He got help at a rehab center but now, I don't know, I have no idea what he's like and I'm at this point where I don't give a shit about him. He can go driving off a cliff and die and I wouldn't even attend the wake or funeral. But you," He took hold of my hand. "I don't want to see you go that way. I don't want to see you living on the streets or living at home but stealing money to fill your need. I don't want to see you get in trouble with the law and go to jail or end up in a rehab center. I don't want too see your teeth to fall out, you hair thin and fall out or your skin wrinkle like a raisin. Lark looks good now with everything, but who know what will happen in five years. I don't want you the same way, okay?"

I nodded. "I know, I understand. I wouldn't try anything he's done that really hard. Or soft." Lie. "I won't end up like that."

"Good." Ryder smiled. "Because I have the best girlfriend in the world, right?" He winked.

"Only because she's got the best boyfriend." I kissed his cheek.

"Wanna go get ice cream? Everyone is leaving now since the party has died." Ryder suggested.

"Could we give Lark a ride home first?" I pointed to the now sleeping guy on the ground. "This is a bad spot to be sleeping."

Ryder nodded and lifted his older cousin off the ground. We got inside the car and I told Ryder where Lark lived. Ryder drove there and we carried him inside and dropped him on the couch. "He'll be good, right?" Ryder asked me.

"Yeah, he'll be fine." I said. "Meet you in the car, I'm going to the bathroom."

He left for the car and I went to the bathroom. Before I left the apartment I leaned down and kissed Lark's cheek. "See you later, Lark." I whispered.


	16. Valentine's Day

**Yolo.**

**So I changed the timeline here, making some events that happened later in the show happen much earlier.**

**ALSO: The Skype incident Marley mentions at the start of the chapter was inspired by _RealizeMyRealEyes _from her story _Finding Refuge _and if you have no read that, I suggest you go read it. Its awesome.**

**Note 2: Finn will still be alive in this story. He's important.**

**Minor-M.**

* * *

**16\. Valentine's Day.**

The following days up until Valentine's Day were black and white with little gray horizons.

Ryder and I became an official couple and though Jake still wished he didn't break up with me, he was happy for both Ryder and I. He had Kitty to be with anyways. Glee club was allowed to go to Regional since Dalton Academy used performing drugs to do these tricks that, again, were impossible to do without the help of drugs or lots of years of practice. Mr. Schue had heard me singing one day in the auditorium with Sam, Unique and Blaine singing one of my original songs, _More Friends Than You Know. _He and Finn both agreed that we should use more of my own songs for the competitions. I had finished my song, _Outcast_, and we all sang it in the auditorium together as a group. It was a definite. My songs for competitions.

I still hung out with Lark. He got back into the drug scene but is doing online high school classes and still wants to attend a school for college. A real college, not community college. I said it was fine either way. I'll admit I did smoke cigarettes and smoke weed with him from time to time, but as soon as he wanted to try the harder stuff I either left him or I just wouldn't take it and smoke cigarette. It usually got hot in his room so I had to tie my hair up in a bun and go to the bathroom to change into some clothes I got with any money Mom could give me. Nothing too bad but still good for me. Tank tops, short sleeve shirts, a crop top, shorts for warmer seasons, socks and some dresses. Any money I had leftover I gave to Lark to get me cigarette.

When I was at Lark's apartment I had as many as I wanted. Three and a half boxes now. As long as I used breathe mints and perfume, I was safe. Sometimes I showered at Lark's too before I left for home. Lark and I became a lot closer in our friendship to the point where neither of us shut the door for using the toilet, but neither of us went into the bathroom when the other was using the toilet; just to continue the conversation. We just yelled. Oh and when Lark showered he kept the door opened. Both the shower door and the bathroom door. I, however, shut both of them to keep myself private. I wasn't comfortable like that with anyone.

Well, maybe Ryder.

I showered at my house one and I called Ryder on Skype to see where it was we were going to dinner. Like Breadsticks, another restaurant or anything. I wanted him to pick out the outfit since he knew better. Once he did and I was putting my stuff back into my closet my towel around my body became undone and...let's just say Ryder got a full view of a pale moon. He covered his eyes though and we just both laughed about it during the walk around the park that included a picnic near a lake.

I would never lie to Ryder about when I'm with Lark. I told him that I hung out there sometimes, but not as often since we were dating. He wanted to come over sometime just to see what Lark and I did. Lark said he could come anytime and I told Lark that he needed to clean up his act if and when Ryder came over.

Mom hasn't seen a cigarette near me since the day she saw me smoking in my room. She's gotten letters from Dad too, but threw them out just like I did.

Lark showed me one day how to sell drugs with Brett and his friends. He had shown me how to sell them without getting caught and I didn't like the idea of doing so, but he said some guy named Noah managed to sell hundreds of dollars worth of weed in the school. Jake told me that, Puck put them in cupcakes. Not enough to get people high but just enough so that people would keep coming back to buy them. After he had shown me how to sell them without getting caught he had me try it out the next day with Brett Stoner. He gave me a bag, went over with that to say and that was it.

_"Brett?"_

_"Hey, it's Rose!" The high boy said. "What's new, Rosie?"_

_"I—I've got six grams in here, give me two fifty."_

_"Whoa Rosie, two fifty dollars for six grams? That's too much man, too much!" Brett said. "How 'bout…fifty?"_

_"Look Stoner I have three others on the wait and it's now or never. Take it or leave."_

_"But…shit….I own….what?"_

_"Two fifty. All or nothing." Marley said, dangling the bag in front of Brett. "Time's wasting. Tick-Tock."_

_Brett gave in and pulled out two hundred fifty dollars (how he get it was unknown) and handed it to Marley. She tossed the bag to him along with a weed stick and turned back to Lark. He stood there smiling. "Not too bad, wanna go into business?"_

_"No! That was terrible! I don't want to do that again!"_

* * *

One day during Glee rehearsal we were singing. Blaine and I were doing a duet to my song, All or Nothing, and everything was going great until something inside of me caused me to stop and cough. I had a coughing attack. Like asthma, bu it wasn't that. I bended over my waist, coughing crazy, and seeing my spit come up from the mouth. Ryder held my hair back while rubbing my back.

"What's going on?" Sugar asked. "Is she breathing incorrectly?"

"Are you okay, Marley?" Finn asked me.

I nodded, still coughing. After I finished I sat up. "Yeah, I don't know what happened...just coughing."

_I probably shouldn't of smoked before practice..._

* * *

After the Valentine's Day Wedding that didn't happen, because Ms. Pillsbury left the building, Mr. Schue told everyone to go party on. Ryder and I arrived and I went to go dance with Mike. I saw Ryder and Jake talking and minutes later Ryder came up with a gift in his hands. First the song in history class? (he remembered from Grease practice) and the peonies at the church, he had another gift? He handed it to me and said, "Happy Valentine's Day, my love."

I opened it and saw it sparkle. It was a heart shaped necklace from the jewelry store at the mall. I pointed it out to Ryder once and said I loved it.

We danced through out the song Blaine and Kurt sang and through Finn and Rachel's song. We ate some of the cake too and it was a delicious french vanilla flavor with a bit of lemon in the frosting. Ryder and I fed one another our food until I put my finger on the frosting and dip it onto the tip of his nose. He laughed, took his finger, dipped it in the frosting and tapped my nose with it. "Back at you."

"Grow up, losers." Kitty called from afar as Jake and her, holding hands, passed by us. "If anyone is looking for us you saw me going to get a drink at the fountain and Black Jew here taking a shit in the toilet."

"Do we have to use that story? Can't we say I was at the bar with Puck?" Jake asked.

"No!" Kitty yelled, grabbing the hotel card in her hands. "I didn't make Senior Puffy Face Puckerman touch my ass for ten seconds just so we can get a hotel room and can say your got drunk at the lesbian bar over there. Featuring Lesbian Gloria Estefan and Baby Mama Whore."

"Harsh." Ryder said.

"Shut it Donkey Kong. Just stay here with your Virgin Mary and eat the crap cake." Kitty said. She then pulled Jake's arm and dragged him out of the room.

Strangely in that moment I felt ready. Ready to do it. I mean after flashing my butt to Ryder on Skype and both of us seemed comfortable with it, I felt okay with being naked with him. But not now, maybe in a little bit. I had to find a way to get a hotel room and apparently Puck had the key to the room. No pun intended.

"I have to use the ladies room, Ryder." I said. He nodded and let go of my hand.

I went off in search off Puck and it didn't take too long for me to find him. He was grinding on one of the bridesmaids and whispering in her ear whilst she whispered in his ear. I hated to stop them but I needed a key card. I tapped him on the shoulder and he stopped, turned and saw that it was me. "Oh good, not Devil or Quinn. What's up?"

"Can you get me a room?" I asked.

He asked why and when I gave him the look, he nodded. He dug into his pocket and handed it to me. I asked how much but he confirmed it was only for people named Quinn and Kitty.

Ryder was still in his spot and finishing the cake. I walked back over to him and sat next to him. He asked if I were okay, saying I looked tired, and I said I was fine. "I have a Valentine's gift for you." He raised an eyebrow up. I pulled the hotel card out. His face was blown away. "I'm ready."

"Marls, are you sure? I can wait." He whispered.

"I'm ready. I've got the confidence to do this." I smiled. Then leaned in and kissed his lips, which he hungrily took in.

* * *

The way he held me in his toned arms as we entered the room and our lips, hungry for the other's, deepened as we stepped inside the room and Ryder shut the door. I helped Ryder take his jacket off as he shook it off too and he then lifted me up bridal style and carried me to the bed. He gently placed me down with my head along the pillow before pulling back up and undid his collar tie thingy and throwing it to the side and unbutton his shirt down. I sat up and swing my legs over the edge of the bed and pulled the zipper down, before pulling the dress off. Leaving us in his boxers and my bra and underwear.

I'm not going to lie, it hurt at first. I mean it would hurt anyone who haven't done it before, right? But with Ryder it made everything easier. We took our time getting to know one another physically; what we liked, what the other liked, where being touched made us the happiest and laughing just as much as we kissed. Once we were comfortable with one another, we went for it.

I didn't feel any different once we finished. We just sat there, breathing deeply to catch our breathes, and soon after that Ryder propped his elbow up and asked how I felt. He then asked if I were okay and I said I was fine and was glad he was my first. He admitted then and there I was his first too, which made me feel even more special.

About an hour later Ryder drove me home and walked me to the house. "Is your Mom still out?"

"Yes. She had a friends night out with her other single lady friends." I said. "One of her friends is probably going to jump on a table and go full out Beyonce tonight." I laughed.

"Good night, my beautiful." Ryder kissed my cheek.

"Good night." I said and kissed his lips.

Once we parted and I was inside I made sure Ryder was gone completely before I laid on the couch. Mom wouldn't be home until 1, for the first time ever and since it was a Friday. It was only 11:45. I turned the TV on and pulled out of my bag a cigarette and a lighter, lit up my cigarette and started smoking.


	17. The Day After

**Hi.**

* * *

**17\. The Day After**

I woke up the next morning around six after getting a full six hours of sleep. I was in my bed and remembered the night before. With Ryder and I in the hotel room. I giggled a little bit before rolling out of bed, inhaling the fresh smell of my rooming after going on a cleaning spree for the fun of it and inhaled the flowers and vanilla in the room. Like it never smelled like cigarettes before. (Like the one I had before I cleaned). and got down the stairs. Mom had to work all day, 7-10 tonight.

I came down and Mom was in the kitchen. She looked a bit different. "Hi Mom."

"Morning honey," Mom greeted. "Marley, can I ask you a question?"

"Sure." I said.

"Remember a couple of months ago, I walked in your room and you were doing something...stupid." She said.

"Oh, yes, the smoking." I said.

"You stopped, right?" She asked.

"Yeah, why?" I asked her. She held up a cigarette box and a lighter. Shit, I must of dropped them. "Oh, Lark was here. Didn't he stay all night?" I asked as if all of it were true.

"No, just you when I came back." Mom said. "He was here?"

"I came home from the wedding arond 11:30 and he called asking if he could come over and hang for a while since he was around the area keeping himself occupied. I said it was fine and sometime after he came he wanted to smoke a cigarette and because it was freezing outside I let him smoke inside. I went to bed around half past midnight and I said if he wanted to crash on the couch, he could." I lied perfectly.

"Oh, I didn't know he smoked."

"Neither did I until last night." I said. "Is that going to change your view on him, Mom?"

"No baby, he's a very nice boy from the times I've met him, though he must be busy with school since it's been a while that I've seen him. But I'd rather have him go outside and smoke from now on, okay?"

I nodded.

"Good. I have to leave now. Just leave a note if your going out and with whom, okay?"

"OK." I said hugging her. "Bye Mom."

"Bye Baby."

* * *

After Mom left I texted Ryder. He must still be asleep since he didn't answer. I heard a knock on the door and saw Ryder there. I opened it, not caring about my bed hair bun and messy morning appearance in general, and greeted him. He had a to-go bag with him. "So remember I said I was going to Cincinnati this weekend to visit my grandparents and we were leaving early?"

"Yeah."

"Change of plans, we're leaving at 11 instead. So I've got about six hours to enjoy you for myself before my parents pick me up from here," He smiled. "I woke up early to get breakfast for us. Chocolate chip pancakes and bacon for this beautiful Goddess today."

"Shut up, I look like a mess." I laughed.

"My mess." He muttered as he stepped in.

Oh we ate breakfast alright. And quickly too. We still had five hours before his parents came to get him. We took the time upstairs in my room. After about two rounds we settled down by laying on my bed. My head on his shoulder and making invisible circles around his abs while his left arm wrapped around me and pulled me close. He leaned in and kissed me forehead. "You're beautiful."

"You're handsome." I softly said. I blushed. "Ryder, I'm sorry, but...round three?" I laughed. He probably thinks I'm going to be a sex addict now.

"No need to worry or be sorry," He laughed. "Making love is now being the best part of our relationship now. But I don't have any more protection believe it or not,"

"I have some." Kitty had handed me some a few weeks ago. In cased I needed them. "They're in the little drawer over there."

Ryder let loose and reached over to the drawer. He opened it and looked inside for a minute before pulling out a cigarette I kept in there. "Marley?"

"Old." I said.

"Since when did you start?"

"I tried it a few months ago. Just one. After that I got sick and stopped." I told him. He gave me a dark gaze. "What?"

"Lark?"

"Yeah. I tried one with him after I saw him smoking one and I wanted to try it. Like I said I got sick after that." I explained.

"Don't you ever Marley. Not the drugs, not this cigarette or any cigarette. Understand?" Crap, I forgot about the drugs too. I nodded though. "Good." He said, throwing the cigarette on the ground. "I'll get rid of this one for you, okay?"

"Okay," I said.

Ryder then pulled out another condom and we went for another round.

* * *

We got dressed before he left. We watched TV until he had to leave. I walked with him to the front door and we kissed a long goodbye before he really had to go. I waved goodbye and watched as the family SUV became nothing but a black dot to me.

I texted some of the girls and asked if they wanted to hang out. Brittany and Unique said later at 8 we could get pizza, everyone else said no. I asked Blaine if he wanted to come along but he said he had some Kurt plans.

Lark called and asked if I wanted to come over. I invited him over and asked to get some more cigarettes for me since the one Ryder took was my last one. By the time Lark came I had ordered a pizza for us.

"Jesus you smoke by the second?" He asked.

"No, Ryder found my last one and threw it out." I said.

"He knows?"

"I said I tried it once, but I don't smoke." I said. Lark frowned at me. "What?"

"Your mom I understand, but a friend? Especially boyfriend? You have to be honest with him. Hell if he tells your Mom on you that's on him." He said. "Don't lie Marley."

"Whatever." I was aggravated now. I needed a cigarette. He handed me a box and a lighter and within thirty seconds I had it in me mouth and soon after began to calm down. "I needed that."

"So how was last night?" Lark asked as he sat down. "Any bed rockers you heard?"

"Your cousin and I." I smiled. "It was awesome."

"Ohhh that is crazy!" Lark laughed. "Tell me again why you need fa-breeze?"

"Oh Mom said she doesn't want the cigarette smell in the house, so that's to cover it." I told him. "If you wanna smoke weed than go in my room. She rarely goes in there unless I'm doing homework."

"Deal." He said, taking weed out of his pocket and stood up. "I'll be down in a bit."

He was up there for an hour before he came down for pizza. Totally high as hell. I was on my fifth cigarette and singing, though my throat hurt a little. I handed him a slice and we began watching _Spider Man _that was on TV. He stayed as high as he did, telling me random things, until he cooled down about four hours later. "Damn, I need a brownie."

"I have cookies. They're home made that I made the other week with my Mom. Sugar cookies." I said.

"bring on the munchies!"

We ate the whole jar. We watched another movie before he asked if I wanted to go upstairs and smoke weed with him. I shrugged. I had nothing else to do and I'll shower before I leave.

* * *

We smoked a couple of joints together in my room. That was all he had, nothing hard. We smoked until the end of our last joint before laying on the ground in my room and staring at the fan above my bed. "Ever notice that, that fan has wings?" I asked.

"Shit... it's like rainbow brite...got drunk...puked on it...haha." Lark said. "Heyy, wanna go shower?"

"What!?" I cracked up while grinning.

"I mean, we gotta shower...before we go...no water wasted...right?"

"haha...I shower...Ryder only...shushs," I giggled. "No tell my Mommy!"

'I'm telling your Mommy!" Lark laughed loudly. "Your Mommy gonna know...her baby...Ryder... being sexy!"

We both laughed again. I had to use the toilet so I got up and left the room and walked into the bathroom. I didn't shut the door behind me and pulled my skirt and underpants down. As I peed I realized that the whole frigging bathroom was hot so I tied my hair up in a ponytail. I flipped my head over, facing my own croch, and tied up my hair. When I faced up I saw Lark standing there with a silly grin on his face.

"Larky!" I laughed, putting my hand out thinking I was covering his eyes. "No Lookly! Ry-Ry only!" I laughed.

"I no screwing you!" Lark laughed, smoking another joint. "I was going...through bras...found more joints in them..."

"Oh yeah...Zandra give...two days ago...holding or taking..." I muttered as I grabbed toilet paper. I didn't care at this point so I wiped myself, still sitting down, and flushed, still sitting (making Lark laugh hard) and pulled my bottoms up before standing on my feet. Lark kept laughing at me while I washed my hands. "Marley flushy while sitty..."

"Shush!" I giggled. I turned around and went back to my room to smoke another joint.

We had three more joints before we stopped. We were so high as hell I could barely remember things we said or did. I remember at one point Lark thought he saw my lamp as his girlfriend and flashed my lamp. He tried to screw my lamp and failed and he turned to me and said, "Why no Molly screw with me?"

"That's lamp silly!"

"Oh, okay!" He laughed. He put himself away but proceeded to take his pants and shirt off. "I hot, you hot?"

"No, I feel good." I giggled, grabbing a cigarette and lit it up. I smoked. "Want puff?"

He took it and smoked a cigarette puff. We shared that cigarette until it ran out. We then laid on my floor again until hours later when we cooled down. Lark got his shirt and pants on and we went to eat some more cookies from the cabinet. Lark looked at the time. "Damn, it's 9... 've gotta go now. Need help with anything?"

"Just take any weed back. leave the cigarettes and smelly perfume crap here." I said.

* * *

He got out of the house by ten on the dot. I had fifteen minutes to make my living room and bedroom smell cigarette and weed free. I put both fans on high, sprayed a lot of squirts of fa-breeze into them both and waited until the entire room smelled like ginger and rosemary. By the time I put the living room fan on the car came in. Mom came in minutes later.

"Hey Mom." I greeted.

"Hi Baby. Did you stay in all day?" She asked. She spotted the empty pizza box. "Oh you went out?"

"Yeah with Lark. Then we came back and he got pizza for us and we watched Spider man." I smiled.

"Well that's good." She smiled.

Once Mom was settled down we turn the TV on to watch and episode of _The Golden Girls. _During the middle of the episode Mom was sharing her crazy work stories to me and we both laughed.

"Oh Marley, these are stories for your grand kids." She laughed. "Just don't make me a Grandma now."

"Mom!" I laughed.

"Don't you think I don't know what look on you and Ryder's face. I'm okay so long as you use protection, okay?" I nodded. "Good. But now grand babies now."

"Don't worry. I'm going to avoid pulling a Quinn Fabray.

When I went to bed I went to see my phone messages and saw my phone had been off all day. As soon as it turned on I had 7 missed calls from Unique, 4 missed calls from Brittany, 3 from Ryder and messages from the three of them. Ryder was checking on me so I said I was fine. I then remembered I was suppose to meet Brittany and Unique for pizza. I apologized to them both saying I fell asleep on the couch and woke up at 9.

Wow, getting high makes me forgot a lot of things.


	18. The Hangover

**Hi.**

* * *

**18\. The Hangover.**

I got high a couple of times after that. During February vacation I would sneak out at 2 in the morning and meet Lark down the street at this park nearby and we smoke some weed for a while. It felt awesome.

Probably a week after the vacation I was hanging out with Lark in his apartment watching _The Kids Are Alright_ with him and he pulled out a weed stick.

"Want a puff?" He lit it up and held it out.

I nodded and took it out of his hands and placed it in my mouth. I was already high from my own that I got from Brett at school. It was right after Kitty made a comment that I looked like I lost a lot of weight and Tina threaten to kill me if I made us lose Regional. Not to mention I failed three tests and a quiz. I had a lot of stress in that moment.

After a while it felt wonderful. Everything around me became so cool and things floated and I kept hearing the birds outside talking to me. Lark smoked another one he had.

Together we smoked until Lark left the room and brought out three large bottles; a vodka bottle, an empty bottle and an apple juice container. He poured them both into the empty bottle he had, with a funnel settled at the top, then took that single bottle and shook it together until it mixed well. He took a couple of chugs of it, laughing a bit, then handed the bottle to me. "Try it, Marley….it good. Taste more apple than vodka."

I took the bottle out of his hand and chugged it myself, tasting more of the apple juice than the vodka. Instantly I felt like I was flying and began laughing while flapping my arms up and down and yelling "Tweet! Tweet! Tweet! Tweet!"

We laughed together for the rest of the night, smoking two more joins each and drinking another bottle of apple juice vodka. I think we called a couple of people on my phone and left silly messages, then a few random numbers.

* * *

Lark walked me home afterwards and since Mom was out working late I was home alone. I let him in and he used the toilet while I sat on the couch, took a cigarette, and smoked. Lark came out and found me in the living room.

"Mama Rose...cigar... no no." He muttered.

"Fuck it," I slurred. "I do...what I...I...Tina bitch." I had no idea what I was trying to say, actually. "Screw them."

The phone began to ring. I saw _Lynn _as the caller ID. "Hello?" I giggled.

_"Marley, are you drunk?"_

"No, me silly." I laughed.

_"I'm coming over now, stay there."_

"Bring pizza!?" I yelled then hung up and laid back on the couch giggling. Lark fell onto the ground and giggled too.

We both laughed until Ryder came inside and saw his girlfriend and cousin drunk and high on the ground. I vaguely heard him cuss and mumble about kicking Lark's ass for getting me to do this. I said I wanted to drink since Tina was being mean to me, but Ryder said I shouldn't of handled it like this. He told me to lay upstairs in my room and after he had to help me get there, he said to rest while he got Lark back to his apartment.

I fell asleep but woke when Ryder came in with a pitcher of water, bread, crackers, bananas and a bucket. He told me to just keep relaxing and if I had to vomit to let him know. I pretty much slept the whole time but Ryder kept waking me up to have water and eat some food, though I tried to decline them. He made me have them.

* * *

I woke up the next morning feeling like complete shit. I was still asleep in my bed and Ryder was sleeping next to me. I looked down and saw the covers of me and right when I had thought we had sex last night I pulled the covers up and saw I was in my bra and underwear whilst he was still in his clothes.

I heard my Mom coming up the stairs and I fell asleep again. She opened the door and I heard her say, _"Ryder?"_

Ryder stirred and shifted. "Hi Millie," He muttered.

"Thanks so much again for taking care of Marley while she has the bug. I'll be home later this evening. I hate working when she's sick." Mom said.

"She's got good hands." Ryder said.

Mom mentioned about some soup in the kitchen and then left. Once I heard the car leave I stirred and looked at Ryder. "Ry?"

Ryder didn't say hi back, he just looked at me.

"Ry?" I called out again. "Why am I no clothes on?"

"I stripped down after your Mom went to bed since you were muttering about being to hot," He spoke softly. "Marley, stop acting like this. This isn't you Marley, you're better than this."

"Grah blah ugh," I muttered as I pulled the covers over my head. "My head hurts!"

"You're hung over. I told your Mom you had the stomach bug and I would stay here to take care of you. My parents didn't mind." Ryder told me.

"Where Lark?"

"Hungover himself I assume," Ryder told me. He took my hand gently and said, "Look at me," I pulled the covers off and faced him. "Thank God you didn't do anything stupid other than prank phone call me and Brittany, who now thinks Lord Tubbington is a King in Japan," He laughed a little. "But seeing you drunk Marley isn't a good thing Marley. What if you and Lark went somewhere else or your Mom figured it out?"

"Fffuuuuccccccckkkkkkk," I moaned out, my head throbbing again. "Stop yelling at me, Ryder!"

"I wasn't yelling at you." Ryder stated in a small tone. "Don't drink. Just ignore Tina and if she keeps lashing out on you, you've got Unique, Jake, Blaine and I to calm her down. Okay?"

"Fine." I said with an attitude.

"Want breakfast?" He asked. God what was with all the questions? Can't I have my first hangover without being harassed about it?

"Nooooooo!" I moaned out again. "Just go!"

"Marley I'm going to stay whether you like it or not. You're hungover."

"Blah blah blah blah blah, blah blah, blah, blah, blah." I muttered rolling my eyes. "I'm fine! I just wanna go to sleep."

I slept for an hour until Ryder woke me up again for breakfast and I felt a little better. I know drinking was bad but I liked it a lot. All I wanted now though was a cigarette.


	19. Changes

**I always feel like I'm doing this crap to Marley, when it comes to her Mom. I'm a horrible person.**

* * *

**19\. Changes.**

Since Ryder talked to me in my room I acted more like myself at school. Being sweet, kind and innocent. Again nobody guessed.

At school I was in history class with a substitute while Mr. Schue was in a meeting. I had come in late because I had lunch with Brett and his friends and got a little high off the weed that they had with them. I also smoked a small cigarette before giving it back to whomever had given me a puff. I felt some stress go down, but I was still tense.

Towards the end of class Principal Figgins' assistant came to the classroom and spoke to the teacher for a moment before telling me to come with her.

I felt fine until I got to Principals Figgins office. Principal Figgins, Mr. Schue, Ms. Pillsbury, Kurt, his father Burt, Finn and strangely Coach Sue were in the office. The atmosphere died down as I stepped in more slowly and was gestured in the seat next to Ms. Pillsbury. Maybe there was some news about my Dad being released. I saw it in a movie once, _The Mighty. _The kid's dad got release from jail on probation and they told the kid ahead of time just as a warning.

"Is this about my Dad?" I asked.

"No, why would we know anything on that Ms. Rose?" Principal Figgins asked. Wow, he didn't know? He's a cool and smart principal.

"Oh no," I remembered the notebook. "Is this about the new songs I wrote? Mr. Schue I left it for you in the office. I know I forgot about it the past few weeks but I handed it in this morning."

"No, I did get that Marley. This is something else."

I sat down in the open seat.

"Well before we say anything," Mr. Schue started, "We just wanted to let you know, Marley, that we're all here for you. For talking or anything you need."

What was he talking about?

"Yeah Marley, like Mr. Schue said, we're all here for you at anytime." Finn added. "Before school, during school, after school. Anytime."

"Marley," Kurt began. "I've been in your shoes before. I'm not saying I'm greater help in this but I know defiantly what the feeling is. I'm here to talk whether it be here or in New York."

Oh God….Oh God….No…. No…. No…No!

"Look just break the news to her or I will." Coach Sue said.

"Sue, we all agreed on—"

"Your mother died this morning, Molly." She said.

"Sue, it's Marley." Ms. Pillsbury said.

Okay, so this was coach Sue telling me this. Probably just a stupid lie to get me to be over emotional about something and confess to the drugs in my locker and my backpack. I've seen her done it at least five times this week and ten times last week to Stoner kids and some other kid, why would I be different? Maybe she smelled cigarettes on me and weed on me and could tell I was using perfume to cover the smell.

"Well Coach Sue, I know you're a bitch all the time but I don't think you need to fuck with my mind right now." I said calmly. A couple of gasps in the room. "I mean I know you hate everyone in this world and Glee club mainly so this is just a stupid thing to say. Thinking I'll quit Glee if you hide my Mom in the creepiest place ever?"

They must of thought I was on something (truth told, I was) and I wasn't thinking. But because none of them were saying anything something inside of me hit me. Reality. No, not true at all. I stood up and began leaving the room and shouting, "Fuck you assholes!"

* * *

They told me. I didn't believe it. That is I didn't want to believe it, their words being nothing but lies and just saying it because they had found out about me holding onto the drugs and somehow found out of me taking them.

I wasn't going to stay for another hour in this school so I head down to Mr. Schue's office to get my songs I let him look over and decided to walk to therapy instead of waiting for Mom to come and get me. I heard Finn and Mr. Schue and Ms. Pillsbury following me down the hallway, but I flipped them off and called them liars.

But somehow I knew it was true because Mom had said earlier she wasn't feeling good and she felt like she was in pain, but I thought because it was a cold that she had just gotten and she'd be better in no time.

I got inside of Mr. Schue's office and decided to cut through the Glee room. As I entered the empty room I kept feeling something inside of me. The truth.

But it wasn't the truth. But it wasn't a lie either. I fell to my knees sobbing and letting my heart out. The trio found me in the room and instantly began to comfort me while Finn left to get his truck from the parking lot and pull up front for a ride to some police station where some social worker would meet me.

Bullshit. I didn't want them, I didn't want any of them.

I just wanted my Mom.

But she's gone.

* * *

I couldn't go home after school, obviously because nobody was there and some social worker woman said that I might be under suicidal stress (In other words; I'd kill myself if I went inside that house). That was true, I wasn't thinking that. I had no feeling at all, no emotion other than sadness in me. I literally had to have Blaine and Unique go to my house and get some of my things into the boxes I was provided by the social worker.

I didn't have family. The only relative was Dad and Dad was still in jail for his drug abuse addiction. So I had to live in a foster care house until… I don't even know when. I'm too old to be adoption and I had two years until I was a legal adult. But I didn't want to go into a foster home for a while.

I pleaded the woman to give me at least a week or two before being placed in one. When she asked me where I could stay for the time being I told her my friends. Unique offered me her house, so did Blaine. As much as I loved Unique and wanted to stay with her, Unique's house was just her room and her parents room with two bathrooms whereas Blaine's house had his parents room, his room and four guest rooms with four bathrooms.

Blaine called his parents down to the police station where the rest of us were and explained everything to him. Then before I knew it I was in the almost-mansion size home carrying in the last of the five boxes I had: My whole life in those boxes.

I had the next few days off from school, to take in everything that's just happened. I couldn't eat that night either but the smell was delicious. Mrs. Anderson had made meatloaf with mashed potatoes, corn and green beans. She brought it up and offered it to me but I declined. Ten minutes later Blaine came up with the same food plus a piece of cake and after trying to persuade me into eating it, he left.

I called Lark that night at 1 AM and told him where I was. I said I'd explain it all. He came and waited for me while I climbed out the window and down the vine wall trellis right outside my window and ran over to where Lark stood with a flashlight in his hands. No smoking that night, just crying.

* * *

The funeral was that Saturday. I had never been to one before so while I knew it was expected to cry, I didn't.

I couldn't even go inside the church where it was being held. it was only the school faculty who knew her, my friends from Glee, Lark, Ryder's parents, and some of her own friends.

I sat in the very back of the Church. Not even one a bench, the way back. The priest holding the funeral event had asked me to say a few words but I said I had no idea what to say. I still had no idea what to say. A couple of people kept looking back at me to see if I were okay, then turn back after I gave a small smile.

Half-way into the funeral I used the bathroom. I pulled out a cigarette and smoked it for five minutes before returning back up. I coughed hardly but went back to my spot. The priest said if anyone wanted to say a word or two, then go up. Some of Moms friends went up and spoke. The priest kept looking over at me and I swear to God I was gonna flip him off if he looked at me one more time.

I rode with Ryder and his family to the cemetery. We were at the cemetery and unfortunately I had to stand with everyone and no far away from them. I ignored everyone and just stood there with no emotion inside of me. Everyone was being nice, even Kitty and Tina, but I didn't want them to pity me or make me some charity. I just wanted...cigarettes.

Oh God, and at my own mother's funeral too?

The Glee kids were nice and sang my Mom's favorite song, _Somewhere over the rainbow, _as they lowered my Mom's body to the ground. That was when reality hit me more. I just began sobbing.

The funeral ended. I pressed my index and middle finger against my lips and pressed my fingers against her gravestone before starting to leave. Ryder and Blaine each offered a ride, but I opted to walk back to Blaine's house.

* * *

The whole week I missed school all I did was stay in the guest room, cry, do homework, cry, not eat, cry, look at old photo albums, cry, watch home videos on the TV in the guest room, cry and just be depressed.

I snuck out a few times and walked around the neighborhood smoking a cigarette. I sat down on a bench and looked up. "I miss you," I started to sing. "I miss your smile...and I still shed a tear every once in a while..." I couldn't finished.

I just sobbed.


	20. Changes II

**I always feel like I'm doing this crap to Marley, when it comes to her Mom. I'm a horrible person.**

* * *

**20\. Changes II.**

It's hard when you lose someone who was part of your everyday life. You woke up, they are there, you went to bed and they are still here. You're hurt and need to talk to someone and here is that person always willing to listen to you no matter what. Someone who never judged anyone for anything because they loved everyone for who they were. Someone who believed in me and said since I was a little girl that I could be anything I wanted to be and said to me that I had magic in my throat.

Now they're gone. Their face and voice so clearly here with me but made me worry that I'll forget about it one day. Even with videos and photos I don't think I would remember her if I ever forgot her.

I moved into this foster home that fostered teenage girls who were close to being an ague of adult (18) and also too young to be adopted. My roommate Carrie usually kept to herself and was downstairs most of the time knitting with her friend Ginger. So I was alone in my room with a large trunk filled with all my materials, a white dresser to hold my shirts, dresses, pants, skirts, shorts, socks and undergarments. My laptop was always plugged into the wall outlet next to my bed.

We had all these damn rules too.

**4:35 Wake Up**

**4:36 - 5:45 Showers, brushing teeth, dress for school.**

**5:45 - 6:05 : Breakfast**

**6: 30 - Leave for school transportation.**

_**Return from school...**_

**3:00 - 5:00 : Homework.**

**5:00 - Prepare Dinner (See Chef Schedule)**

**6:00 - Eat Dinner.**

**6:30 - Clean dishes.**

**7:00 Prayer Time.**

**10:00 Lights out.**

This was the normal schedule for the girls who lived there. Mine was different because I had Glee club and therapy on Wednesday, though that was ending soon seeing as I've been good at gaining and keeping my weight current without worrying about gaining weight. Of course by the time Glee ended I had to get out as soon as possible and catch a bus that would drive me to the foster house. Luckily I only had to make dinner every other Saturday night. If we wanted to go out we had to ask our foster caregiver, Gina, ahead of the week so she could re-work the Chef schedule.

Being the chef was hard since someone was lactose intolerant, three peanut allergies, one wheat allergy, two milk allergies, someone couldn't eat corn, someone had to have food pre-cut before serving, someone hated soup and someone was a vegetarian. I tried giving everyone Salad but I got bitched at for "not even trying."

I got in contact with my social worker and asked for a new home. She said she would look for another home in the area and until then I had to stay at this current one.

Gina was like a dog. I swear she knew where everyone was, knew what we were up too and she treated us like how Nuns use to treat students. She'd hit us with rulers and made sure we were focus. She asked me to say grace once and I just stood there and said, "Uh, thanks for the good and delicious food." Gina tossed a bible across the room at my direction and yelled at me and said I was a sinner for not knowing them. _"Goodness, you are lucky I am the first religious person you know who can correct you!" _I didn't even bother to mention Ryder or Joe from school seeing as she'd probably force them to teach me the bible during school hours.

I haven't smoked in weeks. Cigarettes, weed. Last time I had a cigarette was before Glee practice the other week.

Oh and Gina hated boys. So I had no contact with Lark for a while.

* * *

By the third day of April I had finally gotten a new home. I was only kid there and my new caregiver, Minnie, she didn't care too much what I did. How she qualified for this I don't know but all I know is that she had told me there were no rules in this house and I could do whatever I wanted, just as long as if I made food I clean up my own mess. She asked if I drank or smoke anything. "I really don't care if you smoke cigarette or drugs or drink. Just me let know so I can get enough for us. Do you like parties?"

"I don't party at all." I said.

"Well alright then I guess. I don't throw parties here at all but I go to a lot of them. Come along if you want to join in at any time." She smiled. "So do anything after school?"

"Glee Club." I said. "We sing."

"Uh huh, and your therapy is almost done with...so just Glee?" I nodded. "Hangout with people?"

"My friends, my boyfriend, and my friend Lark."

"Boyfriend?" She asked. I nodded. "You've guys have intercourse yet?" Again, I nodded. "Okay, I got plenty of condoms around here if he needs one. They're in these little baskets around the house."

"Don't the social care people come here?"

"Last Friday of every month. So Thursday night you and me gotta clean this place up and make it look nice. Hide all the booze in the attic, cigarettes in the attic, condoms in the attic because I sure ain't hell getting in trouble if you get knocked up. I will get in trouble if you get preggo. Just have everything in the attic because they've known for a long time that all I do is store vintage family crap up there in a million boxes."

"And that's it? The only rule is clean on the last Thursday for the Friday check up?"

"Yep." She said. "That's it. Hell I can get someone to do your homework."

"No, I can do that."

"Alright. Oh and you get twenty dollar allowance every Friday night. No reason, just do." She said. "I'm heading off now too catch a movie then hitting the club. Not much in the fridge so order anything you want. Hell, throw a party."

I liked Minnie a lot. She was real nice to me as much as Mom and she was pretty cool with anything I wanted to do. I pulled my phone out and invited my Glee friends over plus Lark.

* * *

Everyone from Glee arrived. Lark said he'd come over later. Everyone liked the new two level, two bedroom, two bathroom house and liked how big it was. Of course Kitty had a remark. "It smells like drugs in here."

"My foster mom, Minnie, she likes to party a lot. She warned me ahead of time." I said.

"How'd you end up here?" Unique asked.

"My social worker looked for someone who wasn't too strict, but strict, and flexibility with my school hours and if I got a job; work hours, and gave some freedom to me. And someone who wanted a teenager, no younger than fourteen. They've had this woman in the system for ten years and all the kids who've came here liked her a lot. She's really nice."

"I like it." Artie said. "At least I can roll myself in here thanks to her ramp entrance."

"Still smells like shit in here." Kitty said. "Just start the music."

We all partied together while practicing songs for the competition coming up in a few weeks. Win this and then by the end of May win National's and win for a second time in a row.

Everyone left by 10 to go spend the last hours of the night on their own or with friends. Ryder stayed for another hour. "You know Minnie told me these little baskets around the house are filled with condoms."

"She's sex addict prepared." Ryder laughed. The doorbell rang. "Who's that?"

"Maybe Lark. He said he would come over later and bring a movie." I told him. "Come in Lark!"

Lark dragged himself in carrying a box of pizza and two movies. _Ferris Bueller's Day Off_ and the original _Footloose. _I'm surprised that both cousins could sit down together without wanting to kill one another. Lark tried to speak to Ryder but Ryder just gave short one answer answers.

They both left at the same time. I kissed Ryder on the lips and shut the door behind me. I grinned, I think I'm going to like things now, now that the cousins got along.


	21. Mid-April, After Regional

**Hey so I found the song "I Believe" from Spring Awakening, the version Lea is in. There is another video of her character and Jonathan's character...hmm, yeah...weird scene hahaha. But might use that song in this? NAH! haha!**

* * *

**21\. Mid-April, After Regional.**

We won Regional! I was so happy that we won and everyone decided to sing my own song, All or Nothing, and I'm sure that was the best song the judges had ever heard in the competition today. Glee had a party at Sugar's house and although Mr. Schue didn't attend, because Coach Sue has been on his butt about how an adult male is attending underage children's parties, Finn came along to celebrate. The graduates minus Rachel came too. Rachel was working on her Funny Girl stuff. According to Santana and Kurt, they're sick and tired of hearing her sing 'Don't Rain On My Parade' over and over in the shower.

I didn't take any drugs until after Regional. I'm not a Dalton and used a performing drug, but weed could count for something right? But as soon as Regional was over I went back to getting high. When I was high I felt happier than I did. I felt just as happy when I was with Ryder too but he's been stuck with family drama lately so I've had to keep myself occupied and make my own happiness. So I've gotten weed from Minnie. Also lately I've been drinking a little each night. Every time I drank myself to sleep I blocked out all the bad things in my life and only saw good things. Classes, Glee practice, Mom's death, Dad still sending letters to me, keeping my weight as it's current number, keeping my homework up and still dealing with mean insults from Tina. Why she continued I'm not sure, but it hurt as hell when she did.

When I got high all I saw was myself on a stage and singing to an audience. Just like I did when I was seven. Sometimes I couldn't see the audience, sometimes I could see my Glee friends in the front row cheering me on. Glee kids and he graduates and Mr. Schue and Finn there too. And Mom would be in the middle row cheering for me the loudest. Except this time it was Ryder giving be a bouquet of kittens after I finished singing and came off the stage. We then be kissing under a moonlight of stars.

I'd wake up hungover but smiling from the dream.

Lark came over a couple of times and we got high together. I was showering once and he was taking a pee in the toilet when he asked, "Marley...chicken ass."

I cracked up so much that I had to sit down in the tub and cover my mouth. Lark kept yelling chicken ass as he left the bathroom and went back to the living room. I finished showering and put my shorts and crop top on and met him back downstairs where he was watching TV. "Chicken Farts!" I yelled.

We both laughed after that. The doorbell rang and I told them to come in. It was Ryder who stopped in his tracks upon seeing us.

"Marley? Lark?" He asked.

"Hi Ry-Ry!" I laughed. I walked over and hugged him and kissed his cheek. "I missed you!"

"It's only been three hours...are you high?" He asked me.

"NOOOO!" I giggled. "I'm a birdy! Tweet! Tweet! Tweet! Tweet!" I flapped my arms like a bird and spun around in a circle. "Tweet! Tweet! Tweet! Tweet!"

"Birdy!" Lark laughed, smoking another joint. "Ryder it's a bird!"

Ryder didn't move. He just stood there shocked and confused before shaking his head and he stopped me from spinning and spinning and spinning around. "Aww you're not fun!"

"Marley...why'd you smoke pot?"

"I...uh...fun." I laughed.

"Marley, is this about your Mom?" He asked me. "Marley if you are still upset about your Mom dying it's okay, but don't take out the pain this way. You need to stop or I have to tell someone before you damage yourself."

"Your no fun cousin!" Lark yelled.

"SHUT THE FUCK UP LARK!" Ryder yelled. "HOLY SHIT! IF IT WEREN'T FOR YOU AND BRETT STONER MARLEY WOULDN'T OF EVEN TRIED THIS SHIT!"

"AAAAAAHHHHHH!" I covered my ears and began to sob. Too much screaming. "No loud! No loud!" But I felt Ryder rocking me in his arms minutes later and telling me it would be okay.

He stayed until Lark and I recovered from being high. He took all the weed and dumped it down the toilet. He went through Lark's pockets and my bag for more. He found cigarettes in my bag. He tossed those out before deciding that that was everything we had. "Is the liquor Minnie's?"

"Yes!" I yelled. God, did he have to yell at me? "I got it, I got it."

"Marley Rose, you need to stop doing this shit or I will tell someone on you. I care about you and I don't want you to end up like Lark over here."

"What?" Lark groaned.

"Shut your pie hole." Ryder told him. He turned back to me and said, "Please stop. Just stop."

"Fine, fine. Pinkie promise." I held my pinkie out, which he hooked. "Ryder?"

"Yes beautiful?"

"Can you go get me pizza and brownies?"

* * *

What did he mean I did this crap because of Mom dying? I've done it before. It's to keep me calm down and not stress out so much. I sat in bed, next to the window an ash tray and some cigarettes that Minnie got me on the way home. I lit up a cigarette and smoked two of them before falling asleep.

I'm much more confident now than ever.


	22. Finn

**Oops.**

* * *

**22\. Finn.**

Ryder saw me smoking cigarettes one day, a few days after he came over while Lark and I were high. He had watched me from afar and saw that I had three of them before he came over and hugged me. That startled me. He knew that I've been stressing out since Sectional's and with everything building up now, he figured my only stress release other than music was by this choice. He said he'd help me stop, but I warned him it'd be a long time before I stopped.

_"We've got time," he winked._

* * *

The end of April Mr. Schue called me into Ms. Pillsbury's office one day as I passed on my way to Glee Club rehearsal. I walked in and sat down in the singular chair in the office as the two of them just kind of looked at me. "What?" I asked.

"Marley, you're not in trouble first of all." Mr. Schue said. "We're just a little concerned about you."

"What?" I asked.

"You're grades haven't been the same since your Mom died," Mr. Schue said. "You've been failing almost every test given and if you aren't in class you are somewhere else. You've shown up for practice but that's it really."

"So we were just wondering if you wanted to talk about anything that was bothering you." Ms. Pillsbury said.

_Why should you guys care? You two still need to figure out what the fuck it is you are doing since you ran out on Mr. Schue at the wedding. Also neither of you should worry about my grades because this week I can catch up on all my work. I'm intelligent and can do anything I set my mind too. I have the confidence to do so. And by the way, assholes, this has nothing to do with Mom dying. Am I still upset? Fuck yes! But then there is National's coming up now, Tina still being on my ass about making sure I don't faint and cause us to lose and making sure I know what to do for homework so that I an able to do it. Oh and the fact that Ryder is on my ass now about getting high and drinking sometimes. God it seems like the only people who aren't driving me crazy now are Minnie and Lark._

_Jesus I need a cigarette now!_

"Marley?" Mr. Schue called my name out, as I had been silent in person for minutes. "You wanna tell us anything?"

"No. I'm fine." I said. "I mean...I think because I'm still settling into the new house, a second home, and getting use to the rules applied at Minnie's house and whatnot, I've just been unfocused. But I'm good now, I really am. I'm focused again."

"Alright, that's good. But one more thing. Every Wednesday after school you're to come here and talk to Ms. Pillsbury about how school work is and how your home is."

What the fuck? Seriously? _MORE THERAPY? _No, I'm not going back to missing Wednesdays to see a therapist. Hell I don't even think she's qualified for being a therapist. "No." I said.

"No?" Ms. Pillsbury asked.

"No. I don't need a therapist. I'm not going back to missing Wednesdays Glee practice because I need a therapist. I don't need a therapist." I explained.

"This isn't therapy, it's just a way to keep you organized so you can pass the school year." Mr. Schue said.

"Oh what? Am I close to not passing?" I asked with an attitude.

"No, not yet, but close. Unless you can get all the homework you've missed passed in by the end of two weeks." Mr. Schue said. "But this is just to keep you more focused in school, alright?"

God. I needed a damn cigarette NOW. "Whatever." I said as I got up and began walking out of the room. "I don't need therapy!"

"Marley come back in here!" Mr. Schue called out. "Marley!"

* * *

I didn't listen to him. I decided to just head to Glee practice and then later use the bathroom to smoke before I head off to the _movies_ with Ryder. I arrived at the choir room and sat in the back next to Unique and Ryder. Mr. Schue popped in minutes later and when he did he wrote the theme for the week on the whiteboard. He explained to us the meaning for this week's theme and then said for everyone to find a song for the week, of course Tina already had a song ready and sang it.

Actually a couple of people had songs picked already, which rarely happens. I thought of a song and raised my hand, Mr. Schue saw me, but picked Artie instead.

OK then.

Glee ended. Ryder and I held hands as we walked down the steps and were about to leave when Mr. Schue called me over again. Oh God, not this.

"No! I'm fine!" I yelled at him.

Before anyone could react I ran out of the room and down the hallways until I reached the back end of the school, that nobody ever used to cross paths, and hid in a stall. I took out a cigarette and started smoking.

Ryder called me. _"Where are you?"_

"I'm in the back of the school, in a bathroom, I'll be outside in a few minutes."

_"Are you purging? Or smoking?"_

"No," I sobbed. "Just give me five minutes, please."

_"Fine."_

We both hung up and I finished this cigarette. I smoked another cigarette and then when finished I left the bathroom.

* * *

I decided to hang out in the back of the school, outside, for several minutes before having Ryder drive to the back and pick me up. So there I stood on the corner of the school, standing against the wall facing the open outdoor area, and pulled out the last cigarette of my first cigarette box. I dropped it on the ground and smoked. I dropped my finished cigarette and opened a new box, smoked a new cigarette, then a second cigarette.

I was in the middle of my third cigarette, second one from the new box I opened, when I felt someone tapping me. I turned and saw someone I didn't want to see.

Finn.


	23. Teachers

**Oops.**

* * *

**23\. Teachers.**

_Finn._

Finn?

_Oh shit._

_I'm in trouble._

"Finn!" I yelled out startled. "I...Uh...what are you?—"

"Marley what in the world is in your hand?" Finn called out. He sounded like Mom when she found me smoking my bedroom that one time.

"It's not mine! I wasn't smoking!" I cried out.

"I _saw_ you put that in _your_ mouth! I in that classroom up there when I looked out and saw you." He pointed to the health classroom. Oh the irony in that. "I saw you put it in your mouth and ran down here to stop you." He then looked on the ground and saw the empty box and the old cigarette on the ground. "Marley, how many have you had?"

I lost it after he asked me that. I dropped the cigarette and fell to my knees sobbing. I wasn't sobbing because Finn caught me smoking, I was sobbing because I let myself get to this point. Smoking outside of school being in a spot that I thought wasn't visible to anyone else. I felt Finn pull me back up and hug me softly in a friendly embrace while telling me everything would be okay. I then felt the two of us start walking into the school.

Well, off to being expelled now.

We got inside the school. I kept my eyes shut as we moved to the principals office. Once inside, as I heard a door open, Finn brought me inside and helped me sit on a chair. I didn't open my eyes and face Principal Figgins. I just wanted to get expelled now and just go home and do nothing. Just sit in my room.

"Mr. Schue I think I know why Marley has been acting differently lately." Finn said.

Mr. Schue?

I opened my eyes and saw we were in Mr. Schue's office and not Principal Figgin's office. Mr. Schue was in his seat looking between Finn and I, a little confused too, and asked, "Finn? Marley?"

Finn squatted to my eye-level and looked at me. "Go on Marley," He said softly. God he was being nice to me now. "Tell Mr. Schue." I looked between him and Mr. Schue and Finn comforted me. "It's just us in here, nobody else."

I lost it again sobbing. My throat was too dry to even say a word. So instead I pulled my bag up on my lap and began digging through until I pulled out the cigarette box I just opened, another cigarette box and a lighter to use for them. I held them all in one hand and placed them on Mr. Schue's desk as close as possible and then I sat back down and leaned back against the chair.

Mr. Schue was silent for several minutes. Shocked that I was doing this, smoking cigarettes. "You smoke?"

I nodded.

"On school property?"

I nodded again. Finn said, "I caught her outside when I was in the health classroom cleaning up the room."

"Was it just today?" Mr. Schue asked me.

I shook my head. "A while..."

"Since your Mom—"

"A week after Sectionals." I said before he could finish.

That came to a surprise for the both of them.

"After we lost Sectonals I blamed myself, because I did cause us to lose because I fainted and we had to stop...which is already bullshit in the first place. And so I had stress from that and then stress because Glee ended and everyone was joining different clubs so they could do something for the rest of the year and then my Mom had to work extra jobs and hours to pay for my hospital bill and I had to see a stupid therapist on Wednesdays after school. All this stress built up and then I had a cigarette one day and all the stress I had on my shoulder was lifted. Singing and writing songs helped too, but smoking really helped me relax and get rid of stress. And as more stress came up like homework and tests and quizzes came up and making sure I was okay for Regional I just kept smoking and I got to this point where I felt like I had to smoke all the time." I explained.

"All the time?" Finn asked.

I nodded. "Before school, after school, before Glee practice, after Glee practice, as soon as I got home, during homework, studying for tests and quizzes and two or three before bed."

Mr. Schue and Finn just looked at one another shocked. They didn't think someone might be under this much stress and only able to handle it by smoking.

I wiped a few tears away. "My mom caught me once and I lied saying that I was only doing it once. She thought I stopped but I kept it hidden from her after that." I felt my voice crack. "If I known she died.. I would of told her before she passed away." I started to cry again.

I felt Finn resting a hand on my back and rubbing it. "It's okay, it's okay," He said soothingly. "Calm down Marley, it's alright."

"Am I expelled?" I asked Mr. Schue.

"No," He sighed. "Maybe suspended for a week for smoking on school property. Does your guardian know about this?"

I shook my head. I didn't want Minnie to get in trouble.

"Okay..." Mr. Schue said. He went silent again as his pen tapped on the desk, thinking deeply. "Alright, this is what will happen with Principal Figgins. You will be suspended for one week for smoking on school grounds. That might include classes, but it could just mean no Glee Club and you can still attend classes."

"Okay." I said.

"I also want you to find time to see Ms. Pillsbury and talk to her about any problems you are having a difficult time with." He said.

I didn't want too, but I nodded.

"I'll ask the health teacher if she knows any place for teenagers to go to get over this smoking habit. I'll leave your name out. And from that point I want you to do whatever it is you're told to do in order to stop smoking. Okay?"

I nodded again. I felt a little better. I wasn't going to be expelled.

"Marley did someone here force you to smoke? Did they pressure you?" Finn asked.

"No, I did. I made friends with someone who doesn't go here and I tried a cigarette of theirs. But I haven't seen them in a while." I told him.

"Alright then." Finn said. "Is your locker clean?"

_Fuck. The drugs. _"I can go clean it now."

"Do that and come back here."

I nodded and practically ran down the hallway to my locker and grabbed all the drugs I had inside. I hid those in my backpack and then took the three cigarette boxes I had and placed them in my jacket pocket. I returned to Mr. Schue's office and handed the boxes over to him and Finn. They talked to me for a few more minutes, mentioning they wanted to have a meeting with Minnie in the future about this smoking habit. I nodded for that and made a note to tell her.

"Marley I'm not happy that you've been doing this

* * *

After all of that I ran outside, thinking Ryder got bored and left, but saw him leaning against the door of his pickup truck. "What happened?" He asked. "It's been a half hour."

I sighed and lowered my head. "Finn caught me smoking."

Ryder's jaw dropped down and his eyes went wide. "Shit!" He roared out. "What happened after that? Are you in trouble? Are you expelled? Suspended? What!?"

"No, not expelled. Maybe suspended from Glee club only. And I have to have a meeting with Ms. Pillsbury every week at some point and have a meeting with her, Mr. Schue and Minnie to discuss this. And of course that means my social worker is going to be notified about this and come to the meeting too."

"Are you going to get in bigger trouble?"

"No. I hope Minnie doesn't though. I like her house and if I stop smoking and getting high and whatever, nothing will change. She doesn't care what I do most of the time." I said. "I just wanna go see a movie."

"One more question."

"Fine."

"Is Lark out of your life?" Ryder asked me.

Damn he had a point. When I hung out with Lark these days we got high and smoked cigarettes together. But he was still my friend too...but his influence on me now is putting me in jeopardy.

"Marley?"

"I don't have to smoke or get high when I'm with him, Ryder." He didn't look too happy with that answer. "I don't know, I have to think about it."

"You had me and Unique and Glee club before Lark." Ryder said. "Just a tip."

We both climbed into the truck to go see a movie at the movie theater. The whole ride there I thought about Lark and what I was doing with my life now.

* * *

**Oh so what do you think Marley is going to do now with her life?**


	24. School

** Band of Gypsies Lace Inset Print Fit &amp; Flare Dress **

* * *

**24\. School.**

I woke up Tuesday morning to Minnie knocking on my door. "Marley, I'm heading to work now. I'll call you around 6 if I'm going to be late."

"Okay Minnie." I called back.

After what went down yesterday after school I knew today was a new day. I showered, dried my hair and picked out a pretty dress I got a few weeks ago that I loved. Lace type dress with a print on the inside. I grabbed a pair of brown boots, wore my bottle cap earrings Lark gave to me and the necklace Ryder gave me, grabbed my backpack (now drug free, in the attic) and on my way to school.

I kept getting messages from Kitty on the walk to school. I couldn't text her back as my phone was being strange and wouldn't message anyone back. Same thing with her phone with calls, it wouldn't pick up for her.

_URGENT!_

_URGENT!_

_EVERYONE KNOWS!_

_NOT MY FAULT, I PROMISE!_

I got to the school and everyone was looking at their phones the whole time. I shrugged it off as some 'fail' video on youtube and continued my way to Glee room so we could have that meeting before school started. Just as I got to the door Kitty ran to me. "MARLEY! MARLEY!"

I stopped and looked at her. "What?" I asked.

"It's not my fault!" She yelled out of breathe. She looked scared for whatever reason. "Coach Sue lost some Cheerio's the other week and needed more and this new girl who just came to the school, Bree, is a horrible bitch! Yes! That is being said by ME!"

"What are you talking about?" I asked Kitty as I stepped inside the classroom. I looked into the room and the rest of the Glee kids were sitting in the chairs and looked up from their phones when I stepped in. Kind of like one of those situations when someone is talking about you and when you come into the room they stop talking instantly. I froze.

"Kitty, what's going on?" I turned to her worriedly.

"Bree was in the parking lot and videotaped you on her phone." Kitty said.

Oh crap. This Bree girl caught me smoking.

Sam, the closest near me, stood up and walked over quickly and pulled me into a hug. It felt like a brotherly hug too. "Sam?"

"It's okay, it's okay." He assured me.

"What the hell guys!?" I yelled out.

"Marley, why did you start smoking!?" Jake asked. "You know that's a stupid thing to do."

"Oh like you care Jake!" I yelled. I escaped from Sam's arms and looked at the rest of them. "You broke up with me in NOVEMBER so you shouldn't care about my health!"

"I still care Marley!" Jake yelled at me.

"Maybe that's why she started." Brittany said. "Or her Mom dying?"

"No, since before that Brittany." I said. "Yes guys, I've been smoking cigarettes since November. Mr. Schue and Finn just learned yesterday."

"Ryder?" Tina looked at Ryder.

"No, I told him yesterday after he asked why I took so long to get out of the school." I said to her. "Yes I realize how I handle all the stress in my life this way isn't good. But I was told that with the exception right now I'm not expelled and I'm still attending classes. Just no Glee for a week."

"What about National's?" Artie asked. "We have a song you wrote and wanna try it out with you in lead and the dancing."

"Just work parts for me and I'll catch up."

"Great! Now we have to pretend that she's here and make her parts up and waste a week of dancing to keep her up to date on the dancing!" Tina yelled. "Great and I thought you were okay since Regional Marley, but I guess I was wrong. You are still trying to Rachel Berry but you are NO RACHEL BERRY!"

"AND NEITHER ARE YOU, YOU STUPID BITCH!" I yelled. She jumped scared. "All I ever hear from your mouth are two things. Blaine's cute adorable ass that you stare at when you get the chance and how RACHEL FUCKING BERRY IS THE BEST PERSON IN THE WORLD! I have no idea who the bitch is but she sounds like a pain in the ass! If this is the girl who tried to get every single solo in the past and had no care about how she got the solo, even if it meant hurting people, than by all means congratulations TINA COHEN-CHANG! YOU ARE THE OFFICIAL NEW RACHEL BERRY IN GLEE CLUB!"

Tina looked scared shit-less. She and everyone else just stood there stunned. Ryder stood up and came over to me and whispered for us to go outside. He guided me out of the classroom, though I dragged him out more, and he brought me outside the school to the football field area. I was complaining about Tina the whole time.

* * *

Once we arrived we sat on the bench along the gates. I cried into Ryder's shoulders as he comforted me. "Sheissuchabitch." I said quickly.

"I know," Ryder kissed my forehead. "She's not being nice I know. She'll clam down when she sees you are capable of doing everything and keeping up with everyone."

"Just because she's a senior doesn't mean she can be a horrible bitch to everyone!" I cried. "Lark's right. She's Bitch Satan."

"I thought you said you were done with Lark?"

"I said I had to think about it!" I yelled. "And he's been calling her that since the start of our friendship."

Ryder chuckled. "Well I guess Lark is right about something."

We had to go back to the school. I went to all my classes, gathered all the course work I've missed and the homework I've missed, watched Glee practice from a window in the auditorium for a few minutes and went home.

* * *

I've missed over a hundred and five homework assignments, including take-home tests, and essay papers. I got home around 2:30 and didn't stop working until 11:30 at night. When I finished I laid on my bed too tired to do anything so I fell asleep.


	25. Friday Night

** Yolo.**

* * *

**25\. Friday Night.**

The rest of the week after school I went over to Lark's apartment. Sure he was high but I didn't care too much and did homework while I was there. Yes I did tell Ryder I was there but I was not smoking or getting high off of anything. I told him I was just doing homework and watching TV. He asked what "Pot Head" was doing and half the time I said sleeping.

Friday night I was going to go out on a date with Ryder but he had to cancel when his grandparents made a surprised visit. I hung out with the Glee girls, minus Tina, and we went to Breadsticks for dinner. We hung out for a couple of hours until ten when they had to depart from the night. I sat on a bench waiting for the bus when a motorbike came up. This had a skull and silver lighting bolts.

"Missed Rodney?"

"Hey Lark." I said. "Surprised your not too drunk or high."

"I got a job finally. Assistant to the assistant manager at some club. Basically I just go around and help the assistant manager get things like food orders and drink orders and occasional pick-ups." He explained to me. "Saturday nights only, but for like $80 an hour. And that's from seven at night until four in the morning."

"Per week?" I asked.

"No, bi-weekly. So that's a lot of shit I can afford." He said. He pulled a helmet from the back seat. "Want a ride?"

I nodded and climbed aboard the motorbike. I held onto his waist and he zoomed off within minutes. He was going to visit his work to check is out at the night time but when I mentioned I said I didn't want drugs or anything he said, "No worry. I won't force you and if anyone gives you a problem just come and get me."

* * *

We arrived at the party and it was both loud and crazy. People dancing on tables and singing along to the music the DJ was scratching on the DJ thingy. Lark held my hand as we got inside and I found a chair in the corner and sat there. I would stay for an hour and then leave. Lark was off checking out the place.

Someone, clearly drunk, offered me a drink and I declined. I went up to the bar and got a water bottle, and the woman asked if I were over 21. "Huh?"

"21 and Over only."

"Well I'll be twenty one in a few months, can't I just get water?"

"It's a future tip." She told me.

I nodded and sat back down again at my table and ordered some french fries. I was getting bored actually since everyone around here was pretty much drunk and I was alone. The guy who took my order came back with a glass of water in his hands. "From Lark."

"Thanks." I said.

"I'm Cooper." He said. "Cooper Preston, a friend of Lark's."

"Marley." I said then took a sip of my drink. It was gross. "What is this?"

"Straight up vodka." Cooper told me.

"Lark wouldn't give this to me. He would mix the vodka in something else," I said giving the class back. "And besides I don't drink anymore. Last time I got drunk I was in trouble...I think. Or maybe I was high?" Wow, I couldn't remember. Pretty sure I was drunk when I was talking about Chicken Farts.

"Ah, wrong girl then he pointed too I guess?" Cooper said.

Cooper then left for another table. I sat there munching on my food. Lark came over and handed me a fruit punch and said he'd be there for a while longer. I said I was leaving soon anyways. I got up to use the bathroom and texted Minnie saying I was coming back soon. She texted back five minutes later saying the spare sky was in the flower pot. I returned to my drink and food, finished, then got up and left.

* * *

The hour long walk was fine until halfway there when my head began to get dizzy. Smoking and drug withdrawal took a big turn on someone who was quitting. It was weird to not be high or smoke a cigarette now. Stupid gum that I was given to help me stop smoking had its own weird flavor. Garbage shit. But it worked.

I got they keys out and opened inside. I shut the door, plopped on the couch and took my phone out.

**1 New Message: Ryder.**

_We're done._


	26. Saturday Morning

** Yolo.**

* * *

**26\. Saturday Morning.**

We're Done!?

WHAT THE HELL?

I fell asleep on it, thinking I read it wrong, but when I woke up I checked again. Still the same.

What? Because I've stopped getting high and stopped smoking he was done with me!? Wouldn't he be HAPPY I've stopped though? And over a fucking text message!?

I got dressed into a white shirt and floral skirt with my converse sneakers. I grabbed everything, not caring to eat breakfast or brush my teeth, and took the first bus to get to the street where Ryder lived.

I arrived there and knocked on the door. It was 6 AM. He was awake. Ryder answered the door, his bed hair sticking up and in his black sweatpants with a white shirt. "Marley?" He asked, still asleep.

"WHAT IN THE FUCKING HELL RYDER!? I'VE STOPPED GETTING HIGH AND SMOKING AND YOU FUCKING BREAK UP WITH ME OVER A DAMN TEXT MESSAGE!? WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?"

"What?" He still sounded confused.

"YOU ARE NOT BREAKING UP WITH ME! I AM BREAKING UP WITH YOU! AND BECAUSE WE ARE IN FRONT OF ONE ANOTHER, THAT MESSAGE DOESN'T COUNT, SO I'M BREAKING UP FIRST!"

"Breaking up?" He still asked. "What are you talking about?"

I held my phone up to him and showed him. "YOU SEE!"

Ryder looked at it and looked confused. "Marley, I left my phone at Jake's last night. I had to get a DVD back from him and we hung out for a while before I had to come back and help my Dad get grandma in the tub. You think I wanna hurry out of Jake's to see her take a bath?"

"SO WHAT? A FREAKING LEPRECHAUN CAME INSIDE OF JAKE'S HOUSE AND DID THAT?"

"Maybe Jake is playing a game with us." Ryder said.

My phone rang and it was Jake. "WHAT?"

_"Yeah, Ryder's family is still asleep...can you tell him he left his phone here. Then Bree broke into my house and used his phone to text everyone in Glee some shit. I'm calling everyone else since Tina, ever so kindly, called his phone and told him to never call her a Panda horror Doll covered in cum ever again."_

"WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH THE BREE GIRL?" I yelled

"Huh?"

"You left your phone at Jake's, that Bree bitch broke into his house and started to send everyone in Glee club random shit!" I yelled. "She made me think you broke up with me! THAT BITCH IS DEAD!"

"Well I'm guessing you didn't eat breakfast either, since you wouldn't be think cranky now that you've discovered it." Ryder said.

"SHUT UP!" I yelled, then hung up on Jake. I called Kitty's house number. She yelled at me for waking her up, but I knew the Cheerio's had a practice later today. "YOU TELL THAT BITCH BREE IF SHE MESSES WITH ME, SHE'S FUCKING DEAD!" Then hung up.

"Are you okay now?" Ryder asked me.

I nodded. Then, for some reason, I started to cry. I don't even know why I was crying because there was nothing to worry about. It was a text prank and if Ryder did break up with me he would of told me to my face. But everything was okay now, right? Than I should stop crying for sadness and cry for happiness. Right?

Ryder took me in his arms and embraced me firmly in his arms and pulled me close to him. "Why are you crying, Marley? There's nothing to cry about, it was just a mistake. A stupid prank done by a stupid Cheerio. That's all."

"I know," I muttered before crying again. This time I felt my whole body shake and Ryder pulled himself outside and brought me over to this bench that hung a little above the ground to the left side of his front porch. We sat down and he cuddled me again, soothing me down until I was able to speak again about five minutes later. "Bu—But it sounded true!" I sobbed again. "Like you had given up on me and...and..and wanted to date...a non-problem girl..." I told him.

"You just began to get rid of this habit, it's not going to go away over night. I know this is going to take a long, long time, but I'm here for you no matter what. I promise." He said. He then kissed the side of my head and said, "I love you."

"I love you too." I said.

I was still upset though. Even throughout the breakfast he invited me to, I was upset. He had to stay all day to take care of his grandparents, but promise me we could go out tomorrow night. I said we could have dinner at my place, winked, and kissed him goodbye.

I was still upset on the walk home.


	27. Saturday Night

**Melissa's latest instagram picture is so pretty. And she's so social lately...how long until she goes in hiding again? :)**

* * *

**27\. Saturday Night**

I got home around 11. Minnie was out working at the hair salon until at least seven, then going to a party around nine until who knows when. I hadn't mentioned that I stopped the smoking to her so when I came home and saw that there was a couple of cigarette packets on the table for me, I literally used all my power to stir away from them. I managed to get upstairs and take a long, long hot shower.

When I finished I walked back to my room and changed into a dainty black lace crop top and some jean shorts. I sat back in a chair having nothing else to do for the day. I couldn't think of any songs to write and I had no idea what to do for the day. Maybe walk around for a while, but I was too tired to get up. I went on Facebook and saw I had a friend request from someone named Constance Duvex. I deleted the request. Stupid Connie. God, Connie and this Bree girl are so much alike...pain in my ass and annoying as hell. Like trying to break up Ryder and I.

I decided to head over to Lark's apartment and hang out until he had to leave for work. I took the bus there; I missed Mom and the driving we did when we had to go to places. I just felt so alone without her.

I got to the apartment and knocked on the door. Lark opened it, a cigarette in his mouth. "Hey, what's up?"

"I'm bored." I said. "Got any weed?"

* * *

It felt pretty good to get high again. All the colors returning and moving like a blob in a lava lamp and the atmosphere in general just all stress free. Lark ordered some pizzas a while ago and was waiting at the door to get them. We were just sitting on the floor and I craved for a cigarette so badly, but I knew I was doing good and was almost close to a week of being free of smoking free. Lark stopped smoking at one point and broke up the cigarette and placed it on the table. He then leaned down and snorted it up his nose.

Gross.

He laughed and said, "It's good man! It's better too!"

"Gross!" I giggled.

"I got...other things...wanna try?"

"No, no...I'm mored."

"Mored? Haha!"

"Shut up!" I laughed. "I's gottas go pees!" The doorbell rang.

"I get foodie."

We both left. I could hear Lark from the open bathroom door talk to the pizza guy before shutting the door and coming to the bathroom. "Marley! We got free pizza! He was 45 minutes late!"

"Yey! Pizza!" I cheered.

We ordered about five boxes of cheese and three with bacon. How we managed to munch three boxes in twenty minutes was insane. I unbuttoned my shorts and let them lose a little to let my pizza stomach out. Lark, however, removed his pants in total. "Take pants off...funner..." He said, smoking another joint in his mouth. I shrugged. I was still in my underpants and I mean, this guy has seen me pee in the bathroom before. I took the rest of my shorts off and felt the coolness hit my thighs and legs of the room.

"We silly!" I laughed. "I wish Ryder...here...we have sexy time!"

"Fuck my bed...off ... floor!" Lark laughed, taking a swing at his drink. "Wanna sip?"

"No...water...gerb herb der...ber..." I muttered as I got up and walked stumbled into the kitchen, knocking things over and hitting the wall a few times before getting to the sink. I turned the faucet on and placed my head under the running water; chugging the water as it came out of the faucet. Of course my face and my hair got wet too, which was fun. I turned the faucet off and stumbled back into the living room where Lark had a pizza in his mouth and chomped on it with one hand. "See?... I do it...I get water!"

"Go home...yer...high!"

I laughed and said, "No!" and laughed harder.

Lark had to stop once he calmed down a few hours later. He showered and got ready for work and said he'd give me a ride. "I wanna sleep," I muttered.

"Come on," He said as he pulled my shorts over my underwear. "You can sleep when you get home."

"Mmmm...weed?" I asked, still sleepy.

"Want some?" He asked as soon as he button my shorts. I nodded. "Okay, I'll lend some over. Come on now, to Aaron's car." He said as he lifted me up and over his shoulder.

* * *

I vaguely remember anything after that. Just being in the car, getting home and then ending up in my bed with a fan turned on high and some crackers and water next to me and Lark saying something about my shirts drawer. I fell asleep after that.


	28. Thursday

**So I know this chapter is short, so i will be able to upload another chapter sometime tonight! Promise.**

* * *

**28\. Thursday**

I've stopped smoking less. Finn and Mr. Schue made me go to Ms. Pillsbury every week and talk to her about home and everything. She asked how I was doing and how Minnie was and my homework and I said everything was going good. She once asked about my relationship with Ryder and I asked her why she was questioning. She said that I could be worried about things are with Ryder and I and if something would happen, how I would react and if that could cause me to go back to smoking cigarettes. I said everything was perfectly awesome with Ryder and that Ryder was helping me with quitting smoking too. Which was true. One time we were hanging out and I craved a cigarette; so Ryder told me to punch him in the stomach.

_"Are you crazy? No, I'm not going to punch you n the stomach!"_

_"No it's fine, I don't mind. Just imagine my stomach as your cigarette habit and beat the shit out of it."_

After trying to tell him I wouldn't; I did punch him. Lightly at first. He told me to go again, but harder. So I did. He told me to keep hitting his stomach harder until he felt like his bones were breaking. So I kept hitting him and with each hit in his stomach it I felt better and didn't feel like having anything else at the moment. I pretty much left his stomach almost red when I finished.

_"Feel better?"_

_I nodded._

That's another routine I worked on. When I wanted a cigarette I just hit my pillow until I didn't want one anymore.

But that didn't stop me from drinking or having weed when I got the chance. Usually if I were over at Ryder's I would have to leave by at least ten, ten-thirty at the latest. He would give me a ride back home and I would wait until the coast was clear to call Lark and have him come over so we could get high for a couple of hours. By the time I cooled down I would fall asleep, wake up to my alarm and shower and go on about my day. Same thing if Ryder stayed over until ten-thirty; wait until he's gone and call Lark. Lark didn't drink usually, but he would get totally high.

Nobody knew. Except Minnie, who didn't care about what I did as long as I was okay and the place was cleaned up for Friday's check up.

* * *

Today was the last Thursday of April, which meant tomorrow was the check up. Minnie told me they would come over around dinner time, 6, to check. She got the day off from work but was going to go party later.

I had Ryder and Blaine over after Glee practice. I woke up early in the morning to clean a lot of things out before those two came over. I mean the condoms were left lying around, but the booze and drugs were in the attic.

We were hanging out in my room listening to music and dancing when I had the urge to go pee. I left my room quickly and went into the bathroom shutting the door with a slam and proceeded to use the toilet. When I finished I grabbed toilet paper and wiped myself, only to startled myself when I saw blood on the white paper tissue. Blood? But how could there be blood? Unless... Oh my God!

"YES!" I yelled loudly, not even thinking who could here me at the moment. "ITS BACK!" My period had returned! That meant I was at a good weight and was getting back to having a healthy body. Okay, healthy body when it came to eating.

I kept a laundry basket in the bathroom to throw my dirty clothes in for when I showered. I also had a mini-wardrobe that had clean bras and underwear in them. I always thought that if it were just Minnie and me in the house, usually just me, than I could put a new set on and walk to my room. I grabbed the new underwear and grabbed a tampon from the cabinet and proceeded to care for myself. When i was finished with everything I washed my hands and left the bathroom.

Upon returning the boys looked at me confused. "What?"

"What's back?" Ryder asked.

"Huh?"

"You shouted 'Yes! It's back!' from the bathroom. What's back?" Blaine asked, more clearly to the details.

Well Ryder is my boyfriend so he would have to know these things, right? And I know for a fact that when it was just Blaine and Tina they usually had a conversation in relation to this (Blaine told me, without going into details obviously). So I just said, "My period is back."

"That's wonderful!" Blaine smiled.

"So, that's a good sign?" Ryder asked.

"Yeah," I said as I sat back next to him. "My therapist said that when my period came back than it meant that my body was pretty much back to one hundred percent healthy again."

"Alright, it's a good sign." Ryder said.

I couldn't stop smiling from the inside. Sure any girl would HATE to have their period come in general, but for me in my case it was the complete opposite. It meant I was healthy again and that meant I wouldn't have to worry about my weight or anything else.


	29. Friday Night Parties I

**Okay so I made a tiny mistake. Next chapter will be the better one I will upload tonight.**

* * *

**29\. Friday Night Parties. I.**

Friday morning at the crack of dawn Minnie woke me up. While one of us showered the other started to bring up the booze bottles, than the other one would do the same thing. I thought about it while I was in the shower about how sad it is that we have to hide it all instead of keeping the bottles down here. Just say its for a party. But Minnie never wanted to take a chance about having a teenager in the house with booze and the social people thinking I could take it. I'm not stupid.

Once we finished hiding everything in a family trunk Minnie's fifth great-grandfather bought from England on a trip; we had breakfast and then I was on my way to school. Lark texted me.

_**Party tonight at this chick named Rhonda's house, wanna go?**_

That was the party Minnie was going to. I had plans with Ryder until nine because he had to go home and sleep for a dyslexic doctors check up. I texted back.

_Sure, meet you there at 10._

* * *

When I arrived at school I sat in the Glee room waiting for Ryder. He came in a short time after me and we talked until Mr. Schue came in to discuss National's to us and the songs we were going to sing in L.A. After that we went off to classes and Ryder walked me to mine.

"So any plans after we cancel that stupid short date?" He asked me.

"Minnie invited me to this party." I said. "I might go."

"What? Like one of those adult tea parties?" He asked me.

"No, more like... I don't know, Project X." I said. Ryder stopped in his tracks. "I mean I'm not going to drink or whatever, just go and hang there for a while."

He still didn't move. He looked at me like I was joking and waiting for me to say that I was joking. "Rhonda? Is the host name Rhonda?"

"Yeah, how'd you know?"

"Damnit. Lark said you were going but I thought he was lying." Ryder told me. "He said he invited you."

Crap.

"Yeah, okay, he invited me. But I just said I'm not going to party hard like that. Just look around."

"Why would you lie to me?" He asked, very hurt.

"I'm still friends with Lark." I admitted. Ryder rolled his eyes. "See, this is why I didn't tell you! I was friends with him before he got like this Ryder!" I snapped.

"I have known him longer than you Marley!" Ryder yelled. "He's an idiot! He's gone downhill and I don't give a shit if he says he is getting his life on track! He's just going to go downhill again and I don't want you to end up the same way!"

"I am NOT going to end up the SAME WAY!" I yelled at Ryder. I threw his hand down and away from mine. "I am NOT LIKE LARK!"

Ryder sighed and rubbed his forehead for a few minutes, cooling himself off this way. Finally he took a giant breathe and relaxed. "Don't lie to me." Ryder said a little bit strictly. "Don't you ever lie to me again. Especially if it's about Lark."

"So your okay with me going to the party?" I asked. "And I'm going with Minnie, she isn't going until 10. And when I leave with her it's with Minnie, not Lark."

Ryder nodded. "Just text me when you get there, a few times during and when you are leaving. Promise?" He asked.

I smiled. I stood on my tip-toes and placed a kiss on his lips. "I promise."

* * *

**Whoops, what is going to happen at the party!?**


	30. Friday Night Parties II

**Marley's dress in profile page.**

* * *

**30\. Friday Night Parties. II**

I figured that I wear the same outfit for the date and for the party. I picked out this pretty blue dress that reached a little above my kneecaps. It had a peach sheer coloring at the top, but the front of it was floral lace and a shade darker than the bottom half, which was a shade lighter. But both colors matched equally too. All I added was a black sweater, small black lace up ankle boots, the necklace I received on Valentine's Day, my bottle cap earrings and my bag.

"I'll be back around nine-thirty, Minnie!" I called down into the basement; where Minnie was folding her laundry.

_"Alrighty!"_

I left for outside and waited for Ryder to drive over to the house. I saw his Mom's car pulling up and he rolled the window down and gave a little wave. I climbed into the car and kissed him. "Where are we going?"

"Since we don't have a lot of time I figure get take out and see a movie at the drive-in." He told me. "Is that okay?"

"Oh sure," I said to him.

He drove us to McDonald's and got us some burgers and fries with an extra large soda to share and then drove off to the local drive-in not too far from the McDonalds place. He got us in and parked us in the very back row of cars and turned the engine off.

"What movie are we seeing?"

"Beaches." Ryder told me. "One of your favorites."

I smiled brightly. I _do _love that movie. I faced forward and as Ryder turned the radio on I saw the movie starting. But, it didn't look familiar. Another ten seconds passed and I knew this wasn't the movie. "Ryder, this isn't Beaches."

"Yes it is, look." Ryder pulled out a newspaper from behind his chair and pointed to the movies. "Beaches."

I examined the paper and saw what he circled. I couldn't help but laugh loudly. "Ry, that says 'The Beach.' you forgot to circle 'The' in there. Bette Midler is in that movie, this movie has Leonardo DiCaprio in it. He's not in Beaches."

"Aww that the fuck!?" Ryder whined. He seemed pretty sad he messed up. "Sorry," He muttered. "I don't even know how the hell that happened..."

I smiled. At least he tried. I thought for a minute before placing a kiss to his cheek. He turned back and smiled too. I said to him, "This movie goes on until we have to leave for the night, right?" He nodded. "Wanna go in the back?"

"Sure." He grinned the second I asked him that.

I jumped into the back first and started to lay down, finding that there was just enough space for me to lay down with a little extra room to shuffle around. Ryder, before joining me, pulled my boots off and then climbed in the back. He had kicked his shoes off in the front. He sat on my pelvis area lightly as he shuffled himself to lay down on top of me and once he did he pushed a strain of my hair back and softly pecked kisses on my cheek.

"Are you okay? Comfortable?" He asked me.

I nodded against his head. "Yep."

"You're hot." He said in a low, deep voice. I started laughing.

"You're hot." I said. After that I pulled his face down and we began the make-out session. "Just no sexy time now. You know I'm not that type of girl."

"Wasn't planning on sexy time anyways," Ryder laughed. "Just kissy time."

* * *

I hated to stop making out with Ryder. I never wanted to stop making out with him; I had even planned in my head that when his parents took their annual two weeks cruise vacation in July he would stay and live with me for those two weeks. His grandparents went to the community center to do activities all day during the Summer and he hated going to the center all day and playing bingo with them (especially when his grandfather cheats by playing more than three cards and changing numbers on the board and someone finds that out and World War III begins in the room). It would be amazing to have Ryder to myself all day and all night.

Ryder dropped me off at home but he slowly parked his way into the driveway. We got out and he walked me to the door, but the glance he gave me when he looked at me was a worried one and timid. I could read it in his eyes and his face that he didn't want me to go to the party that, most possibly, had cigarettes and alcohol at it. And Lark being there too. I smiled in assurance and placed a long, sweet but passionate kiss on his lips with my hand behind his silky brown hair and pushing him into the kiss. When I pulled out I kept our faces close; forehead-forehead and nose-to-nose.

"I'll be fine." I whispered loudly. "I promise. I'll be with Minnie and Lark."

"That's what worries me," He said with a sad tone in his voice. "But I trust you. I love you."

"Love you too," I said. I gave one more kiss before parting ways with him and opening the door. "Goodnight."

"Goodnight beautiful." Ryder smiled.

I waited at the living room window and watched as Ryder climbed back into the car and drove off for the night. I sighed, missing him already and wishing I could find a way to make him come. Even if he didn't enjoy himself I knew that he would be happy knowing that I was there with him and in safe hands. I stood up and walked into the kitchen to find Minnie in there.

Minnie had totally dolled herself up. Whether or not she planned on going home with someone tonight, but most possibly will, Minnie looked hot head to toe. Minnie donned a leopard printed mini-dress that was strapless and ended at her thighs. Underneath it was sheer black tights and wore black thigh high boots with a three inch heel. Her face was donned in bright red lipstick and purple eyes hadow and a bronze tone around it; giving her a bronze-tan like tone. Her dark hair was down and curly from the shaft of her hair to the very ends of her tips. Long silver dangles hung from her ears and a gold braclet hung from her left wrist complimenting her nude-peach french manicured nails.

"You're dolled up." I said.

"Passed the Friday check up and going to celebrate it by partying at Rhonda's." She said. She eyed me up and down and said, "I've got an outfit you can borrow. Party club, but not too much as yours truly here."

"I'm fine."

"You sure? Not even a bronze face?" She suggested.

"No thanks, I'm fine like this." I said. "I don't plan on anything much, just seeing a friend."

"Okay." She said grabbing her clutch. "If you see anyone ya like, I've got the condoms in my clutch here." She winked.

I laughed. "Ryder only, but he's not going." I said.

"Okay. Let's get going then my friend." She smiled.

* * *

The drive to the party was a blast with Minnie telling me she heard two ex's of hers were going to be there— Alexander Henderson and Gina Sanchez— and planned on getting one of them to bed with her. "Both those bitches broke up with me so I'm hoping to make one of them regret it tonight. Gina is my target for tonight. Stupid William Simpson and his 'I got a degree being a dentist at a dentist school!' That stupid ass!" Minnie yelled.

"You want Gina back more?" I asked Minnie.

"Hell yeah. She's better at sex than anything else. Usually I would tell any other teenager I foster that I'm going for a guy and drunkenly ended with a girl and ended up liking her better, but you've got those three or four gay friends of yours so I figure you're cool with Gina and I if it happened."

"Oh sure, go with whoever you want." I told her.

"Casa de Rhonda." Minnie said as she parked the car. "I think that's correct, Casa de Rhonda."

I glimpsed out the window and saw the huge house. Not like a mansion, more like Blaine and Ryder's homes put together. Large Victorian era home with a balcony on the front of the house. Vivid rainbow neon tones danced outside the window as it danced to the blasting music. Lots of people outside with red solo cups in their hands, some talking to one another, others dancing and lots of laughing and drinking/chugging of the solo cups. Defiantly almost Project X. Now if only someone attempted to jump from the roof to the pool...

"Come on," Minnie said as she opened her door and climbed out.

I climbed out after her. I saw how big it was outside the car and kind of wished now that Ryder was here with me. Minnie came over and wrapped her arm around me, almost motherly, and asked if I were okay. I nodded weakly. "Want me to stay with you for a while?" I looked at her and nodded. Sure smiled. "Dont worry, you've got me and even if that means I'm with you all night and not with Alex or Gina, I'm good."

We entered the house and I now saw it was more crazy than a zoo or the streets of New York; both day and night. This was like Project X times three. More wild people, more wild music and lots of more drunks at the party. Minnie found a bench against the staircase and we sat there looking around. Some guys came up and offered us their cups. We took them, but I handed mine to Minnie after she chugged her down within seconds. She already looked like she wanted to wander off and I lied saying I was okay on my own. "You sure?" She asked loudly over the music. I nodded. "Okay, find me if you need anything!" She got up and danced her way to the living room and already found a date; a red hair college age boy to grind on.

I sat alone on that bench and watched as the party continued. Dancing drunks, grinding on one another in sexual ways, and some people holding hands and ran up the stairs to get the bed rocking, while others played drinking games. I sat there and read a book on my phone after a while and was enjoying my book when I decided I was too bored and got up to find Minnie and tell her I was leaving, when I heard someone yell my name out.

"MARLEY ROSE!"

I knew that voice. I turned on my heels and saw Lark. He looked a little drunk and a little high, but managed to get over here with little stumbling along the way. In his hand a cigarette and red solo cup.

"Hi Lark," I hugged him.

"Hey girl! When you arrive!?" He yelled his question.

"About an hour ago with Minnie. But I was just about to go home." I told him.

"But—but—but the party ain't a party without Marley here!" Lark laughed. "My cousin here?"

"No, doctors appointment tomorrow morning." I said.

"Wanna sip?" He offered his drink. "There's some fruit punch to block the drink."

"No thank you!" I yelled. "I plan on drinking water instead. No drinking tonight, I promised Ryder." I explained.

"Okie-dokie." Lark laughed. "Same with getting high?" I nodded. "Cigarettes too?"

"I quit. My teacher found out and though I was suspended from Glee club for a week, he and everyone are trying to help me stop!" I said.

"Damn, nothing tonight? Okay then." He said, then proceeded to take a drink. "You wanna dance?"

I nodded and we held hands walking into the room. He threw his cigarette into his drinking, making it completely wet, before tossing it on the ground carelessly and chugging his drink down.

* * *

It shouldn't be hard to party without getting someone inside of you. Like a school dance. No drinking, no drugs, no nothing. Just you and you only. But I was finding it harder and harder by the hour to enjoy myself without having anything to use and calm me down. Lark eventually got totally high and drunk that he nearly took his pants off when I decided to help him keep them on. We were sitting outside on a stone bench when he offered me a cigarette for the seventh millionth time that night.

Just one. Just take one and I'll be all set.

I took the already lit cigarette and placed it near my mouth, taking in that familiar taste and feeling my body cool down from all this tense stress.

"You miss the cig?" Lark asked.

I nodded. "Yeah, I have missed this a lot actually." I told him. "I'll be right back, going to get a drink."

I went back inside with the cigarette still in my hand. I dodged my way around until I found the mile long bathroom. The line was taking forever that not only did I want another cigarette, some girl pulled her pants down and took a shit in a nearby pot and then left. I had to pee, but I wasn't that stupid to do that. Finally I got my chance and once I finished and left the bathroom I went into the kitchen and looked for a glass to have water inside. I found a cup that was on the counter and looked un-used and dry; as if nobody had used it. I took that and found a bottle of un-opened soda and poured that in the cup.

I drank it on the way out to find Lark again. He was still in the same spot again and watching two chicks making out in front of him. He was excited, both his face was hooked on the girls and his hand was down near his crotch area. I tapped him and sat on his lap so he could come back to talking to me. "I'm bored." I said.

"Fuck Ryder." Lark said.

"He's not here!" I said. Oh crap, I had to text him.

_Hey, still here at the party. With Lark now and making fun of these two girls making out. One from Vocal Adrenaline and one from Dalton's Sister School, whatever that name is. Love you._

I put my phone away and took another sip. Too much sugar in this stupid soda. But I didn't mind.

Another hour passed. I think at this pint I had taken a drink meant for someone else because I was pretty drunk. I was able to do things and managed to talk sense, but I knew I was stumbling all over the place. Lark was drunk himself now too, and wanting to get high on something since he was also bored.

"Wanna...movie...Disney...raggy...shit...bra?" He slurred.

"Disney!?" I giggled. "Okay."

I found Minnie and told her I was leaving with Lark. The sober women nodded and offered a condom. "No no, sexy time Ry only!" I said to her.

* * *

The stupid cab took forever to get here. Someone I ended up drinking a few more drinks and getting a little more drunk and drinking on the way to the apartment. Lark, starting to ease down from being high for a few hours, was holding my back and telling me to take a few breathes.

We arrived back at the apartment. We got inside and I texted Ryder. I said I was with Minnie at Lark's apartment. Actually, more like this: _Lft...Minn-E...Lrk...patmant...Disney...giggly love...CHOCOLATE._

Lark died into the kitchen and came back with some bottles of water and crackers. "You okay...Mly?"

"Bitch..." I muttered. "Got weed?"

"Not now."

"I NEED IT!" I snapped.

"Okay." He said to me.

He got the weed for me and I inhaled that shit. Oh my god it felt amazing!

* * *

I started to see myself on a stage. The audience anticipating my vocal chords to brace out in musical waves for their ears to enjoy. I felt happiness all over the stage and I could see Mom in the audience cheering for me the loudest.

Someone mentioned going to the bathroom so I nodded for them to leave the concert.

I finished my concert and everyone cheered. I giggled as Ryder came up with the kittens in his arms and handed them to me. "I love you." He said.

* * *

"Love...too..." I muttered.

_"Love you too, Marley."_

My eyes opened and all was a blur until things fuzzed out and I saw Ryder's face in front of me. I got excited and kissed him hard on the lips, startling him a little bit. But he took in the kiss and gave a passionate one back. After a minute I stood up and started to pull him towards Lark's bedroom. I knew for a fact Lark wouldn't care that Ryder and I were in there having our sexy time on.

We entered inside and I pushed him on the bed, I stood up and attempted to keep my balanced as I pulled my dress over my head; revealing my white bra and underwear. "Sexy time!" I yelled very drunk and jumped on him, starting to make out with Ryder.


	31. The Morning After

**Whhhaaaa**

* * *

**31\. The Morning After.**

I woke up to the most brain-bashing headache I had ever had in my life; much worse than the passed. I never wanted to get myself hard like that again ever. Not even on my wedding night did I want to drink that hard. Oh my God it just killed! It didn't help either that I felt the warm sunshine of my face glaring through the window of my bedroom and my eyes squinting in attempt to keep the sun from burning my eyes. I felt like I was going to throw up all over my bed sheets now. The cars driving outside sounded like a million chainsaws going off at once. I wanted them to SHUT UP right now. God, I needed Ryder to shut them up now.

Ryder.

I smiled as I remembered last night. Ryder came over to Lark's apartment and we made love last night. At least three times before I fell asleep from all the sex we had and slept on a lovely dream. God, Lark was probably going to talk to us all day about the noises Ryder and I made. I pulled the blankets up further around my nude body and turned around with my eyes still shut to face Ryder. God he was going to be in so much trouble with his parents for skipping his appointment this morning. But in a little way that made me feel special.

I heard him snoring softly. I could image his puffy nose breathing in and out with his chest rising up and down.

I opened them to give him a morning kiss when, to my horror, I saw not Ryder.

Lark.

Holy. Fucking. . Shit.

I kept blinking my eyes, thinking I was seeing him by accident, but nothing changed. I still saw the shirtless blond sleeping next to me. Maybe we did nothing, maybe I'm naked only and he kept his pants on. What guy has sex and put his pants back on to sleep after that? But when I lifted the sheets up I saw him with no pants on, no boxers on. Just him.

Fuck.

I got up from the bed, taking the top sheet with me and wrapped it around my body. I found my underwear on the ground, next to my shoes and my dress, but not my bra. I looked around but found nothing.

Fuck.

I hurried out of the room and ran into the bathroom and dropped the bed sheet. I washed my face with cold water and got dressed. I grabbed a box of cigarettes and a lighter from the sink and hurried out of the room.

I grabbed my bag and ran out of the apartment.

* * *

When I got back to my house, which was empty, I hurried up to my room and the second I hit my bed I sobbed. I was a horrible person now, just a horrible person. I cheated...I cheated on the guy I loved more than myself. Who I loved more than music and my songs. And I fucking cheated on him with...his cousin! The cousin he hates more than all the bullies at school! I couldn't stop crying. How was I suppose to tell him? Should I tell him? Of course I had to tell him, that would just make more horrible if I didn't tell him as soon as possible.

I lost my train of thought when my phone rang. I looked at the caller I.D and saw Lark's name. That stupid bastard has the nerve to call me!

I answered and screamed at the top of my lungs. "DON'T YOU DARE EVER TALK TO ME AGAIN YOU BASTARD!"

"Marley?" He sounded perplexed. "Marley, can we talk?"

"NO! I DON'T EVER WANNA TALK TO YOU AGAIN! DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME, LUKAS RICHARD STEWART? IF YOU EVER TRY TO CALL ME AGAIN OR COME UP TO ME IN PERSON I WILL FUCKING POUND YOU IN THE FACE! DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME YOU BASTARD? _**I WILL POUND** YOU!"_ I screeched louder than my voice could ever go into the talking part of my phone. I hung up after that and didn't answer him.

I didn't answer the sixteen calls he made, or the ten messages he wrote. **Call me. Text me. Talk 2 me. Please?**

* * *

Ryder called a few times too. But I didn't answer him. I didn't want to talk to him. Not yet. I couldn't talk to him yet. I couldn't face him and tell him anything.

God, Lark, stop calling.

* * *

After the last call he made I picked me phone up. There was one person I trusted more with my life and although I knew he hated Lark just as much as Ryder, I needed him right now. He was the only other person I could trust right now when it came to Lark things and even though I know his inner mind will say _"I told you so,"_ He would never dare say it aloud to me.

I picked my phone and dialed the number until I could hear the other end ring.

_"Marley?"_

"B—Blaine?" I sobbed. "C—come over, please."

_"Marley? What's wrong?"_

"Please!" I cried into the phone. "Come over!"

_"Give me forty-five minutes or less."_

Forty-five minutes on the dot Blaine came into the house and called out for me. I was already on the couch still sobbing with a pillow at my chest. Blaine came running over and embrace me into the hug. He rocked me in his arms and asked me what happened. But all I did was bury my head into his chest and mutter to him, "Don't tell Ryder...Don't tell Ryder..."

I'm such a terrible person.


	32. Monday, Monday

**Whhhaaaa**

* * *

**32\. Monday, Monday.**

I didn't talk to Ryder or Lark all weekend. How could I? How could I talk to someone who had cheated on and how could I talk to the one I cheated with? I couldn't even leave my room because I was too depressed. I took a couple of cigarettes from Minnie's room and smoked them in my room, not giving a fuck that I was suppose to be quitting as of now with the smoking. I just enjoyed it all that week.

Monday came. I put on a blue skirt, yellow sleeveless top and my brown boots and went off to school. I decided to not tell Ryder, just not yet. I'd wait until Friday to tell him so he would have the weekend to take it in. I'd rather do that than go through a week of torture with him not sitting with me at Glee practice and whatnot.

I was at my locker when I felt someone walk around me and kiss my cheek.

"Good morning," Ryder greeted. "How are you?"

"I'm...good." I spoke softly.

Ryder nodded. He took in a deep breathe and made a face. "Marls," He leaned forward and sniffed again. "Did you smoke this morning?"

I lowered my head and nodded. "Hmmm, yes."

He sighed. "Why?"

"Crappy weekend."

"What happened? The party?" Ryder asked. "How was that? Did something happen? Lark? Minnie?"

Quickly I said, "Minnie and I got into an argument and she's a little mad at me." I said. "She was drunk and was totally telling herself she could drive but I said she couldn't drive while drunk and I grabbed the keys from her and we just left. I got her into the back of the car and she was pissed at me all week. Like that episode of Full House with DJ and Kimmy at that frat party."

"Oh okay." Ryder smiled. "I'm sure she won't be mad anymore after today. You did a good thing."

I nodded. God I hated to lie.

* * *

I had to talk to Ms. Pillsbury at lunch about my smoking habits, again, so I missed Ryder. I missed him the rest of the day and at Glee too. Of course because it was Ryder and not me; Tina was fine with him missing practice. We danced a few times in the first number so Finn was the stand-in for the song. After Glee ended I went to the tutoring center and found Ryder in there packing up his books. I walked in and greeted him, but he looked angry.

"Stupid homework!" He yelled.

"What's wrong, Ry?"

"I have a lot of homework assignments this week and that means that right after Glee practice I have to go straight home and do the work. Which means less time with you."

"Oh it's fine," I said. "I want you to get the homework done first. Just think, we're almost done with school and then we have all summer to hang out."

"I know. But hanging out with you after school would be better." He muttered.

I kissed his cheek. "Don't worry."

* * *

That actually how it was the rest of the week. With each day that passed us Ryder was more and more angry by the day and it got harder to tell him anything else including the thing that happened with Lark.

Lark.

Stupid ass kept calling me every day this whole week. He kept trying to tell me what I thought happened, didn't happen. But of course it did happen. I was high and drunk and thought he was Ryder. I knew we did it, I know it for a fact.

I ignored him and didn't wait my energy on him at all. He could try all he want, but I didn't want him to be near me at all.

* * *

I tired to tell Ryder at the end of the week. We were making out in my room on the bed after Minnie left for work. Ryder seemed to be craving for every possible kiss we made and I couldn't blame him either. We had the rest of the night and it's been a whole week since we had a date night to ourselves. Ryder sat up and hovered of me a bit as he placed one leg over to my other side. He then quickly took his shirt off and tossed is to the side of the room.

Usually I'd be excited and start taking my own shirt off, with his help, but I didn't feel like having sex with him. I mean just exactly a week ago I cheated on him with Lark. His cousin. This reminder turned me off.

He noticed. "You okay?"

"Not really," I said. "I'm not in the mood for this. Just making out." I admitted.

He grinned. Of course he would; he wouldn't push me into anything. Ryder leaned back down and kissed my mouth. "Okay then, we can just make out." He then proceeded to move his mouth over to the side of my neck and leave his bite mark there.

I giggled. Of course I wanted to do it, especially since we have until 11 when he has to leave, but I just felt horrible. And all the stress he's been going through for school and for National's?

Maybe I just keep that a secret. I just need to make Lark keep it too.


	33. The Stick You Pee On And Hope It's

**Yeah I jumped a little ahead of time. It's near the end of the month. Not National's yet though.**

* * *

**33\. The Stick You Pee On And Hope It's Negative.**

I never told Ryder. And now that I kept it longer from him he would just be more irate than ever. Even more than him finding the cigarettes in my room in the past or when I got drunk or even when he found me high. I thought it would be best for the both of us and it would just be something I would take to the grave with me.

I haven't felt the best in a few weeks. I felt nauseous, sick to my stomach and lack of energry. I kept telling myself that it was withdrawl of the cigarettes and the weed but I don't think it would be this horrible or even annoying. I also craved ice cream more than ever and would eat a pint of ice cream if I had one in my hands and eat the whole thing within a half hour. Also my period had been lacking a lot more which was strange because I just got it back after not having it for months and month due to my weight.

I was in science class, alone this time, when I had the urge to vomit. I got excused and when I got into the closest open stall in the empty bathroom; I vomited.

After Glee practice Ryder offered me a ride to his house so we could watch a movie, but I declined saying I had to go home and help Minnie clean up the place after a small party-like get together she had with friends the night before. That wasn't a lie since I had to go and clean the toilets any from the party she had held last night, but asked if he could give me a ride to the store so I could get more cleaning supplies.

He did and waited in the car while I went inside and got some of the bleeche, toliet cleaning stuff, pringles, crackers, a lrage thing of fruit punch and the worse thing I could ever buy.

A pregnany test.

No, one wouldn't work...I had to be sure.

Minnie had given me a credit card for emergencies only. This was one.

I bought twenty of them in total.

After leaving the store and before walking to the back parking lot where Ryder was, I took all the test out and threw them into the back of my backpack and then went for the car.

* * *

Once we arrived and kissed goodbye I entered inside the empty house and took out all the test. I read the instructions for them while drinking the fruit punch and then got ready to pee on all of them.

Five minutes per stick. That was about a three and a half hour wait in total. Once I finished the last stick and set my alarm for three and a half hours, I slept.

I didn't sleep for long as I had nightmares of Ryder killing Lark and then killing me and saying how horrible of a person I was too him.

I woke up screaming into a dark and still empty house. My alarm went off at the same time.

I got up and walked to the counter where all the test were lined up.

* * *

"LARK!" I screamed opening the door to his apartment. I knew he was still here, no work for another hour. "LARK! WHERE ARE YOU?"

"Marley?" he emerged from his bedroom. Once he saw it was me he got a ginormous grin on his face. "Marley!" He yelled in happiness as he ran over and gave me a bear hug. "Marley! I've missed you!"

"What the hell!? GET OFF ME!"

"Marley, what the fuck is with the mood swings? Never mind. I've been trying to call you forever! We have to talk about the party the other week—"

"No shit Sherlock!" I yelled. "We slept together!"

"No we didn't."

"How in the hell do you know!?"

"Well... I don't know exactly," He said. "But... I mean, I just don't think we slept together. Usually when I wake up after sleeping with a girl I still have the condom on and all I crave is for a cigarette. The morning after the party I had no comdon on and I didn't want a cigarette."

"Well maybe you threw it off and then just didnt' crave a cigarette!" I screamed.

"I don't think so..."

"WELL THEN HOW THE FUCK AM I PREGNANT IF THE LAST TIME RYDER AND I HAD SEX WAS A FEW MONTHS AGO!?" I grabbed his face in my hands and yelled at his face. "YOU CARE TO EXPLAIN THAT, MR. STEWART?"

His face went ghostly death pale when I said that. "Holy...no, not mine. It has to be Ryder's, right?"

"Wrong!" I yelled. "Ryder and I didn't have sex at all this month and the stupid pregnancy symptoms just STARTED A WEEK AGO! AND I WAS SUPPOSE TO GET MY PERIOD A WEEK AGO YOU DUMBASS!"

"Are you sure, like, this isn't just weed withdrawl or something with your bulimia or—"

"No! I TOOK TWENTY PREGNANCY TEST! TWENTY OF THEM!"

"That's a lot..."

"EIGHTEEN POSITIVES AND TWO NEGATIVES! HOW DOES THAT ADD UP!?"

"Oh, um...so you're pregnant." He said. "Oh shit...we're in shit now..."

"No crap!" I yelled. "I didn't even tell Ryder what happened between us and if he finds this out we're dead!"

"Maybe...they're wrong?"

"EIGHTEEN WERE POSITIVE YOU DUMB PIECE OF SHIT!" I yelled into his face again.

He took a deep breathe trying to take everything in. He look scared shitless no matter what. I let go of his face and sat on the couch, my back bending over my front and sobbing. How? How could of this happened? Why was I being punished? I'm usually a good girl... I've just had bad habits for the passed few weeks...months... why am I being punished? I couldn't be pregnant now. I was still craving cigarettes and I was still craving weed and I was pregnant with someone who I wasn't dating. It was the cousin.

I felt Lark sit next to me as the pressure of the couch increaded with more weight. His hand went on my back and rubbed it in large circles.

"It's okay, it's okay," Lark comforted me. "It's okay, we'll figure this out...we'll figure this out, okay? It'll be alright."

I ended up hugging him, in which he hugged back. His comforting made me feel better.

But I was still pregnant and haven't told Ryder anything about Lark and I.

I'm in deep shit.


	34. Telling Minnie

**Whoops, it gets worse.**

* * *

**34\. Telling Minnie.**

I stayed with Lark for the rest of the evening until I had to go back home. Minnie was going to another party tonight but I felt like I had to tell her before she left. Lark offered to come, but I wouldn't let him come with me.

I arrived home just as Minnie was finishing curling her hair. "Hey, did you change your mind? You wanna hit a party at Lola's house?" She asked me.

"Minnie, I'm in trouble." I said.

"Trouble?" She turned around and looked at me. "Trouble as in what?"

I just said it straight out. "I'm pregnant."

She dropped her curler. Her eyes were like deer in a headlight. "What!?"

"I'm...pregnant?"

"You can't be pregnant!" She yelled. "Do you realize how much trouble I will be in?"

"It's my fault Minnie," I said to her. "Not yours. It is my fault, and Lark's. Just don't tell Ryder please?" I begged as tears flowed down.

"Crap, honey, no...you can't be pregnant. I will be the one in trouble. And Lark, since you say it's him as the father, and Rhonda will be in trouble—"

"Rhonda!? How will Rhonda be in trouble?"

"Were you drunk when you had sex?"

"That was the only way it happened! Plus I was high!" I yelled.

"Marley...look," She sighed. "Rhonda was the host of the party. She'll be in trouble for giving alcohol and drugs to someone under age. I'll get in trouble because I'm your guardian and I let you drink outside of the house and Lark will be because he is older than you. That's statutory rape."

"It wasn't rape! I thought he was someone else and I had sex with him!" I yelled.

"But you're under eighteen! He's older than eighteen!" Minnie screamed. "Did you go to a doctor!?"

"No, I took some tests."

"Pee sticks?"

"Yes."

"Oh crap, never trust those. Especially if they're from that cheap cheap general store." She said.

"On Riverbloom rode? That's where I got them."

Minnie looked relieved when I said that. "Good, maybe you're not pregnant." I asked how. "That cheap cheap general store buys cheap cheap tools like pregnancy tests. Like, you got how many?"

"Twenty."

"For five cents each, right?"

"Yeah."

"See! Cheap!" Minnie yelled. "Okay...listen...I'm going to find a doctor for you and we'll see if you are pregnant. If you are than we'll figure things out but let's just pretend for now that you're not, alright?"

"Fine." I told her.

"You want me to stay in for the night and talk?" She asked.

"No, I'll be fine." I said. "I'll just order out and practice my dancing for National's." I said.

"Alright then. I'm heading out to Lola's party. You can still invite friends over if ya want."

I said I would think about it and then proceeded to my room.

* * *

I saw Minnie leave twenty minutes later and then I laid back in my bed. I was praying I wasn't pregnant. What if I was pregnant? What would happen? What would I do? Would Minnie lose her licences of fostering children? Would Lark go to jail? Would I end up in some teen-parent-orphanage home?

I could only see it all happening...

The doctor telling me I'm pregnant and knowing it was Lark's baby. Me having to tell Ryder it was Lark's baby and Ryder never speaking to me again and I'm still alone because Lark is in jail for statutory rape and Minnie having to give up fostering me because she, in the eyes of the law, let me drink and get pregnant because I went to Rhonda's party...and Rhonda getting in trouble for having underage students and children drinking and getting high... and then I somehow end up in a single parent teenage home with other knocked up girls and I have a baby...oh my god! What if I have a baby born addict to drugs? Oh my God what if Connie found out? She'd call me and my baby Crack Baby for the rest of our lives...and poor Mom, her soul up in heaven, sad that her baby is having a baby... Oh my god!

Smoke.

Don't smoke.

Smoke.

Don't smoke.

Smoke.

Don't smoke.

Smoke.

Don't smoke.

Smoke.

Don't smoke.

Smoke.

Don't smoke.

Smoke.

Don't smoke.

Smoke.

Don't smoke.

Smoke.

Don't smoke.

Smoke.

Smoke.

Don't smoke.

Smoke.

Don't smoke.

Smoke.

Don't smoke.

Smoke.

Don't smoke.

Smoke.

I jumped from my bag and dug through all my drawers like a mad woman. After what felt like a million clothes that I went through I found four in a cigarette box. I took one, lit it up with a lighter next to my bed, and held it into my mouth.

It felt so good. So relaxing to smoke again.


	35. Doctors, Pills and Phones

**Happy Halloween.**

* * *

**35\. Doctors, Pills and Phones.**

The day before we left for National's in L.A I had the doctors appointment. Minnie didn't say anything to my social worker yet; only if I was pregnant. As I sat there in the waiting room I could see other teenage girls with heavy baby bellies for their appointments. Some of them already had a child with them, meaning they were pregnant for a second time.

"Marley Rose?"

That's me. I stood up with Minnie and followed into the back room where the nurse lead me. She had me do all these check-in's such as height and weight check and asked some other personal questions before she and Minnie left for me to talk among themselves. I sat there alone almost crying.

My phone buzzed. It was Ryder.

_Hey, how's the doctors? Everything OK?_

I replied back.

_Hope so. My stomach hurts._

Then he replied back.

_:(_  
_Hope your tummy feels better._

_Thanks Ry, :)_

The doctor came into the room. "Hello Marley, how are you feeling?"

"I don't know. I hope I'm not pregnant." I said.

"Alright, let's check this out," She said as she grabbed some tube that had the jelly stuff inside. She had me lift my shirt up so she could place the jelly on my stomach and after that she grabbed this tool thing they used for sonograms. She circled around for a few minutes as she examined the screen. I couldn't read her poker face well.

"Well?" I asked. "Am I pregnant? Can you tell?"

She was silent for a few minutes before smiling and saying, "No. Not pregnant."

OH MY GOODNESS! A MIRACLE! "I'm not!?" I cheered.

"No, and no signs that you were ever pregnant." She said to me. As she started to clean up the jelly stuff she spoke some more. "I read you file Marley, you had bulimia a while ago?"

"Yes."

"Did you get your period back recently?"

"A few weeks ago." I said.

"Then this is completely normal. You're period cycle has returned, but it may skip once in a while. This should only last for a few more months. If it still happens like this when school begins in September, call your doctor and talk to them about it."

"So my period is acting, weird? What about the cravings?"

"Maybe you're just craving." She said.

Well that was a miracle. I couldn't believe that I wasn't pregnant! I'm so glad too. Right now would be a horrible time to have a baby especially since I'm in school and I'm working on my cigarette habit.

Minnie was relieved too. She wanted to go party later and celebrate and I just decided to stay home alone.

* * *

At home alone I left a message for Lark on his phone, telling him I wasn't pregnant. He didnt' reply yet so I figure he was working or sleeping or getting high.

Damn. I want to get high.

All I had were the last two cigarettes.

Hmmm, Zandra didn't live too far from here. I called her and asked if she had anything I could take and after arguing with her over payment; she said I could have some weed and prescription pills she had gotten from Stoner Brett. I walked over and got them and returned home to my room. I took the lighter and lit the weed and inhaled it. I then took the pill capsules, opened them to let the powder drop on a piece of paper, leaned down and snorted it up. Just like how Zandra told me to do it.

* * *

I woke up around nine to my phone buzzing. I had a killer headache and felt like my nose had been bleeding for several hours. I grabbed my phone and answered it. "Raheelo?"

_"Marley? It's Sam, where are you?"_

"Ram?" I asked with some butcher words.

_"Sam, yeah Sleepy, Britt was having that dinner party at her house and it's starting now, but you aren't here yet."_

"Britt...Dinner?"

_"Yeah. Tina isn't here because she got caught up in a family thing so it's just us and he graduates."_ Sam told me.

"Hmm, sleep...Zandra...Jane..." I muttered. "Fine...soon...shit."

_"Does you're stomach still hurt?"_

I hung up and tossed my phone away from me. I rolled over to my stomach and felt instant coldness on my stomach and breasts. I only remember two things; getting high and stripping down to nothing at some point because I'm nude right now. Slowly I crawled into the bathroom and grabbed the handle of the sink to pull me up and I managed to wash my face and wake up. Once done I walked back to my room and grabbed my phone to text Ryder, only too see I sent him a photo.

Of my breasts.

Somehow, thankfully, it was just him. But I saw he had called me a few times. I rang him back and he answered. "Ry?"

_"Hey sexy lady, thanks for the picture...but that doesn't seem like you."_

"Oh, uh...I wanted...gift you?" I sounded lame.

He laughed. _"Well as long as I'm the only one and we delete the proof, we're good."_

"Is my face showing? Or any signs that it was me?" I asked. As long as my face didn't show or anything showed, I was safe.

_"No, just your breasts that's all." _He said. _"You excited to National's?"_

"Yeah, totally..."

_"How's your tummy? Better?"_

"Much." I said. "You going to Britt's party?"

_"On my way now, aren't you there?"_

"No, I fell asleep and I'm just about to shower."

_"Okay. I'll drop over and get you while you get ready, okay?"_

"Sure." I said. "See you then."

I hung up after that and checked me phone. Shit, I was high enough to take a hundred of them...most of them blurry...and a video of me saying how I loved Ryder and Lark and wanted a threesome with them. I checked to see if I sent any messages to anyone else and I didn't. The only person I sent a message to today was Ryder and Blaine, though Blaine was a conversation this morning about L.A. Quickly I deleted all the photos.

Safe. Thank God I didn't do anything stupid.

I cleaned up the room a bit and then showered and dressed. By the time I put my shoes on Ryder was outside.

* * *

The dinner party was fun. Everyone enjoyed themselves and even if I felt like crap I pulled it off with the 'I felt sick to my stomach earlier' card and everyone bought it.

Ryder and I laid in my bed after two rounds of making love. He had an hour before he had to leave. He propped his elbow up and looked down at me. "You excited for National's?"

"Totally." I said. "I'm all excited for this week."


	36. Nationals I

**Sorry for not being good at the Sue Sylvester insults, I am not Jane Lynch or writer of Glee. if I were a writer, I would of change a lot of things on the show.**

* * *

**36\. Nationals. I.**

I woke up a little hungover. After Ryder left I went to get a snack and found some beer bottles in the fridge. I took a few of them and drank until I fell asleep. I woke up to my alarm around and got up, showered, packed my bags within ten minutes with everything I needed and now took the hour rest I wanted until Ryder's parents came and picked me up so we could head to the school. It was Thursday, last Thursday, so I made sure EVERYTHING was spotless. Beer bottles were gone, all the alcohol and drugs hidden in the attic and condoms in a drawer in Minnie's room. Now with the hour wait I watched TV while eating cereal.

My phone rang. Lark. He hasn't called in a while.

"Lark?"

_"Hey, it's ain't no Mama to be," _He laughed. _"How ya doing?"_

"Fine. Happy I'm not pregnant." I said to him.

_"Yeah, same here... though I'm sure we didn't have sex..."_

"Whatever Lark. That's over with and it's not going to happen again, ever, alright?"

_"So you guys heading to L.A today for big singing competition."_

"Yeah, Ryder's coming to get me soon and his parents are dropping us off at the school."

_"Alright I guess. How far is that travel though?"_

"Pretty much a full day. That's why we're leaving today so that we have all day tomorrow to practice before Saturday." I explained. "I'll tell you how it goes."

_"Okay then, Catch you later." _He said then hung up.

As soon as he hung up Minnie came down the stairs ready for work at the hair salon. She looked a little hungover still but managed to still walk like a sober person. She turned to me with a smile "You heading out soon?"

"About another hour before Heather and Richard pick me up," I told Minnie. She had met Ryder's parents once when she came and got me one day and they spoke up a storm about everything. She really liked them and they really liked Minnie, just like how they love Mom when they met Mom.

I miss Mom. I really wish she was here to see this happening, us competing and winning Nationals. She said she would bake a big celebration cake for us and have it ready as soon as we returned back to Lima and have it decorated beautifully with musical notes, school colors, the school animal logo and _2013 National Winners! _Written in the center, followed by each singer and coaches names written all over. It would of been amazing and wonderful.

"Hey," Minnie started to say. "I know you told me your Mom was going to make a cake and you were excited for that. I can't bake for my life, but are store-bought cakes just as good?" She smiled. She really wanted to try and make me happy whenever Mom or something related to Mom made me sad.

"You don't have too." I said.

"I want too." She said. "Hell it'll be another celebration of no babies entering this house!"

I laughed. "Again, if you want." I said.

"See you in a few days," Minnie said. "Break a leg!" She then hugged me.

"Thanks Minnie." I hugged her back.

She left. I sat there smiling and had a half hour to wait. I then remembered I needed to pack one more thing. I hurried up the stairs into my room, grabbed what I needed, and placed it inside of my suite-case then zipped it back up. Good, now I'm settled.

Ryder's parents came over and beeped the car. I jumped up, turned off everything, grabbed my bag and my suite-case and jacket and sunglasses and left the door making sure it was locked and left for the car. While Ryder's Dad opened the trunk and put my suite-case in there I jumped in the back with Ryder and greeted him with a kiss. "Hi Ry."

"Hey," He said grasping my hand. "You excited?"

"Totally." I said. "I can't wait to win the trophy."

* * *

We arrived at the school and one we said our goodbyes to his parents inside of the choir room; they and everyone else's parents left and it was just us in the room. We were talking about L.A and the competition when Mr. Schue and Finn walked into the room.

"NATIONAL'S!" Mr. Schue shouted happily. "Who's ready to win!?"

"LET'S DO THIS!" Tina cheered.

Everyone got up and started to gather their things and leave when there was a knock on the door and when I turned to see who it was, it was Coach Sue. "Oh look William, your woodland creature trolls are leaving for National's to where they won't participate in, all 11 of them."

"We have 12 Sue," Mr. Schue said.

"No, nuh uh, that's Principal Sue. Figgins had some other things on the hand,"

**(Flashback: Sue making a threat, again, to Figgins about having sex with another woman other than his wife, ((Sue drugged him)) and wants to be principal).**

"Sue, you have to stop doing that. It's not going to work one of these days." Mr. Schue said.

"First act as Principal, to inform you that there will be no Nationals." She said to us. "Someone here has an invalid permission slip."

"I swear I made my Mom use the crayon!" Brittany implied. "She used the red one."

"No, not you. The Golden voice swan over there. Next to that Canadian hair wanna-be." She said. She was referring to me. Me? "Your permission slip was invalid."

"How? My Mom signed it." I said.

Mr. Schue had given us the permission notes a few days after we won Regional, this was a few days before Mom died, and I had Mom sign it that night and gave it to Mr. Schue the next morning. He wanted them early so he could give them to Principal Figgins and have all us of be ready to go.

"Oh I'm sorry William," She said in a sarcastic tone. "it says here on this permission slip that a Mildred Patrica Rose gives permission for her daughter, Marley Jane Rose, to go to the competition. If I'm not mistaking this woman is gone and now another woman, Minerva Winifred Warner, is in the care."

"Wait a minute! So because my Mom died, AFTER SHE SIGNED THE DAMN PAPER, the paper is INVALID!?" I screamed. "WHAT THE F—" Ryder covered my mouth and held be back down, soothing me.

"Sue," Mr. Schue said. "Millie already gave permission, isn't that enough?"

"Nope. Not the guardian."

"If I call Minnie, and she says it's OK to go, is that good?" I asked. "She can't physically leave but if she says it on the phone, can I go?"

"Unfortunately yes, that is enough validation." Sue rolled her eyes. "If I could do more I'd make that invalid..."

I pulled out my phone rapidly and speed-dialed Minnie's number and put it on speaker for everyone, including Sue, to hear. _"Hi, thanks for calling__ Flawless Elemental Beauty, this is Minnie how can I help you?"_

"Minnie, it's Marley. I kind of need help now. Sue Sylvester—"

_"What? Did that Sue Sylvester whore do something do to you? I swear Marley, that whore is going to end up like half the people I know. Dead from being beat by a steel baseball bad."_

"What did she call me!?" Sue yelled.

_"Oh speak of the dinosaur," _Minnie said.

"Minnie, so my Mom signed the permission slip for National's before she died and now, apparently, that's invalid."

_"Did the dinosaur whore troll make that rule up?"_

"I don't know, she's being Sue Sylvester!" I yelled. "So I need you to give permission for me to go."

_"Guessing that I'm on speaker here since the dinosaur heard me, Billy there too?" _She never seemed to catch on that Mr. Schue hated being called Billy...

"It's Will." Mr. Schue said.

_"Hey Billy, yeah, Marley can go to Nationals...SHUT THE FUCK LOLA! I'M MAKING A PHONE CALL!...YEAH IT'S IMPORTANT, WHY DO YA CARE!?... SHUT UP AND GO GET HIGH ON CRACK AGAIN, YA BITCH! NO, I DON'T HAVE ANY POT YOU CAN HAVE...GO FUCK OFF YA BITCH!...So, yeah, Marley can go Billy."_

I couldn't stop laughing. I knew who Lola was and those two always argued together. Even Ryder was laughing. He'd seen it in person too.

"Uh, great, thanks Minnie." Mr. Schue said.

_"Break a leg you guys...NO LOLA! I WASN'T TELLING YOU TO BREAK A LEG, HOLY SHIT YA BITCH! CALM DOWN! Bye Marley!" _She hung up after that.

"There you go Sue, the permission from Minnie herself." Mr. Schue said.

"Fine, go legitimately break your legs Schuester." Sue said.

* * *

After the whole fiasco of the phone call we all settled into the bus and got ready. Mr. Schue and Finn were talking outside to Sue, again, after she came out of the school and called them out. Finn seemed to smile and said something and once the three were done Finn and Mr. Schue came on the bus. "Who's ready!?"

Everyone on the bus cheered. Finn sat down in the seats in front of Ryder and I. As soon as the bus left the parking lot and we were on the road I leaned forward and tapped Finn. "Finn?"

"Yeah Marley?" Finn turned around.

"When Sue came out again, was it about me and the whole thing that had just happened?" I asked. I had a feeling it did.

"No, not really." Finn told me. "Sue just reminded us that we're all responsible for you guys and if anything happens she'll have our heads. But you guys are all good kids so nothing to worry about."

'Oh, okay." I said.

"Marley?"

"Yeah?"

"How's...you know, that habit?" He asked. I knew what he meant.

I spoke in a clear voice, even though I have had some for a while. "Good," I whispered. "Nothing for a few weeks."

"Good." He whispered back.

I sat back in my seat next to the window and soon felt a kiss on the cheek. "What was that for?"

"Just felt like it." Ryder said.

I smiled and kissed him back before leaning against the window and watching everything pass us by. I was still annoyed by that whole thing in the choir room and all I wanted was a cigarette.

I'm so excited for National's though.


	37. Cigarettes and Chocolate Milk

**Okay so I was doing research to find a song for Marley to sing in this and I found a song by musical artist Rufus Wainwright, who has written songs that I enjoy such as 'Hallelujah' and a couple more. I had recently discovered this song that Marley sings and thought it would fit perfectly for her to sing in the story. **

* * *

**37\. Cigarettes and Chocolate Milk.**

After a full day of events and what seemed to only be a short drive to L.A, we arrived to the city of angels. We somehow caught good timing as the highways weren't busy and we got there around 7. We left at 7, so a twelve hour bus drive. The only bad thing that happened was having a horrible toilet. Thank god Sugar called her Dad and he got everyone first class tickets to come back to Ohio at the Cincinnati Airport. Her exact words, "Daddy if you don't get us first class tickets back I will commit suicide on the damn bus home!" He got them.

We got to the hotel and while Mr. Schue checked us in at the front desk and organized room buddies; the rest of us sat in the lobby on their chairs and couches. Mercedes joined us and told all of us about her big hit that was going to happen soon. Thanks to her setting up at a food store and Kayne West' manager discovered her (or something like that.) Finally Mr. Schue managed to check us in and assigned us room buddies. Unique and I shared a room on the third floor with Ryder and Jake right above us.

Unique and I settled inside. She asked if I wanted to walk around a little bit, as Mr. Schue gave us some free time, and I said I'd join her along later. After she had left and made sure she was gone I opened my suite-case and looked inside of a hidden pocket to find my cigarettes and a lighter. I had some leftovers and messaged Minnie at some point while he was asleep on the bus; informing her that I took two boxes and I would give her the money to buy them back upon my return. I had enough for the weekend. I took one and took the lighter and hid them in my pocket and entered the bathroom and sat in the bathtub smoking the cigarette. I figure if I had one now, it wouldn't be too bad.

I had one puff before chickening out the rest of it and washed it in the bathtub by turning the water on and making it wet. I wrapped it in toilet paper and flushed it down the toilet. I put the lighter in my pocket and hid it away. I decided to check my e-mail for anything from these contest I entered. A few weeks ago I found some contest and sent in my songs to be heard and hope they would win.

I didn't hear back from anyone. It made me depressed.

I sat on the couch sadden by no word back. None. The door knocked and it was Ryder. I sat up and opened the door with a smile. "Hey." I said.

"Hey." He said.

"Come on it." I said moving back a bit.

He came in and I shut the door. "You and Jake settled in?" I asked.

"Yeah, he and Kitty went on a little date just now and I was wondering if you wanted to get ice cream." He said. I shook my head and I must of looked sad because Ryder asked, "What's wrong?"

"It's nothing." I said.

"It's not nothing, talk to me." He said.

I sighed as I sat down on the bed. "I entered my songs in these contests."

He got the idea. "You didn't win?"

"Worse. I haven't from them. Maybe it's a sign."

"For what?" Ryder asked sitting next to me.

"Maybe song writing isn't my thing." I said. "Or music in general."

"You're not going to quit Glee Club, are you?" Ryder asked. He seemed very concerned that I was going to quit. "Are you?"

"What's so wrong with joining account club?" I asked with a hopeful smile.

"It interferes with Glee Club. That's a reason." Ryder told me. "And who cares about those contests? There are more of them and more chances. And you can't quit Glee Club because you have a beautiful voice and you are one of the nicest people in that club. And you know we all pretty much love your songs. You can't quit Glee and join account."

"What if I do?" I teased.

"Damn, we'll go join any other club together. Glee isn't Glee without you. Maybe join the Stars Club." Ryder chuckled. "Don't quit, please." Ryder put his hand on my kneecap.

I sighed and took his hand in mine. "Don't let anyone know, please? Let's just make this our swan song. Please?"

He sighed too. "Fine."

I grinned then leaned in and kissed his cheek. "I love you. Want ice cream?"

* * *

We got some ice cream on the beach and sat on a bench under a streetlight, outside the hotel, watching the waves roll along the beach gently. There was a cool breeze that blew softly across our faces and my hair blowing coolly along with the wind. I had vanilla and Ryder had chocolate ice cream.

"This is nice." I said.

"We should move out here in the future." Ryder said. "Raise the kids here along the beach."

"That or in New York or Boston or any big city." I told Ryder. "Or even in Lima. that'd be nice."

"That too." Ryder told me. "Cincinnati?"

"Ha, that too." I giggled. "Anywhere with you."

"You too beautiful." Ryder kissed my cheek softly. "Hey so Jake texted me and said that after Mr. Schue and Finn check on us, around 10 for lights out, he's gonna have Kitty in the room. And Brittany is going to go off and see Sam and meet up with him, Blaine and Tina in Blaine and Sam's room. That means Kitty and Brittany's room will be free," He gave me a suspicious smile. "Care to join me in there?"

"What if we get caught?" I asked.

"We won't, all of this is going to happen at 11:30. Jake told me." Ryder said.

"Okay." I said.

* * *

After that Ryder went back to the hotel to meet up with Artie and go over some things together. He asked if I wanted to join but I offered to stay behind and join him later. Once he was gone I walked along the boardwalk alone with my hands in my pockets. I had told Ryder I needed to use the bathroom first and would meet him down in the lobby. After he had left I snucked a box of cigarettes into my jeans pockets and the lighter in my jacket pocket.

I found another empty bench and sat there under the streetlight. A restaurant was nearby so I wasn't fully alone either. I took out a cigarette and the lighter and started to smoke. By now I was so use to it, it just felt wrong if I didn't have at least one a day. Maybe two. I felt so relaxed right now that I had no worry about the competition. I knew it was wrong that the cigarette was doing this and I should just use my own confidence to boost my spirit. But the cigarette was _really _helping me so much. But it also made me crave for chocolate milk...

**Marley Singing.**  
_Cigarettes and chocolate milk_  
_These are just a couple of my cravings_  
_Everything it seems I like's a little bit stronger_  
_A little bit thicker, a little bit harmful for me_

_If I should buy jellybeans_  
_Have to eat them all in just one sitting_  
_Everything it seems I like's a little bit sweeter_  
_A little bit fatter, a little bit harmful for me_

_And then there's those other things_  
_Which for several reasons we won't mention_  
_Everything about 'em is a little bit stranger_  
_A little bit harder, a little bit deadly_

_It isn't very smart_  
_Tends to make one part_  
_So brokenhearted_

_Sitting here remembering me_  
_Always been a shoe made for the city_  
_Go ahead accuse me of just singing about places_  
_With scrappy boys faces, have general run of the town_

_Playing with prodigal sons_  
_Takes a lot of sentimental valiums_  
_Can't expect the world to be your Raggedy Andy_  
_While running on empty, you little old doll with a frown_

_You got to keep in the game_  
_Retaining mystique while facing forward_  
_I suggest a reading of a lesson in tightropes_  
_Or surfing your high hopes or adios Kansas_

_It isn't very smart_  
_Tends to make one part_  
_So brokenhearted_

_Still there's not a show on my back_  
_Holes or a friendly intervention_  
_I'm just a little bit heiress, a little bit Irish, a little bit_  
_Tower of Pisa, whenever I see ya_  
_So please be kind if I'm a mess_

_Cigarettes and chocolate milk_  
_Cigarettes and chocolate milk_

I finished my first cigarette and dropped it, stepping on it, and took out my second cigarette. I started to smoke that and halfway into the cigarette I felt a tap around me. Oh God, not Finn I hope. I turned and saw someone else.

"Hey Marley," He said.

"Lark?"

* * *

**Duh duh duh! Lark is here in LA!**

**Yeah, so I heard the song and somehow I kept thinking the "chocolate milk" as either alcohol and or drugs. But drugs are a reference too. It just seemed to fit perfect.**

**Thanks for all 91 reviews too so far! I love you all!**


	38. Stuck

**Sorry this is short, but I had too. Haha.**

* * *

**38\. Stuck.**

"Lark?" I asked again.

"Hey Marley, nice surprise right?" He asked. "Can I borrow a butt?"

I nodded and handed him a cigarette, still in shock. How, I mean, why was he here? "Why are you—"

"Thought I'd support you guys in person rather than wait at home and celebrate." Lark said. "I got work off and took a plane here instead. Got a plane ride back home too. Middle class seating."

"First class. Sugar's Dad got them for us after she threaten to shoot herself in the head on the bus ride home." I told him. "I can't believe you're here."

"Surprise, surprise." Lark laughed. "First thing that happened to me when I landed was be mistaken by that Austin Butler guy, fuck that." He laughed. "Wanna go to Pacific Park? It's still opened for a special night only. Open until midnight so we have four hours left."

"But I have to be back by 10 for a lights out check in."

"Okay, it's about eight now. It's a half hour drive and we'll stay until 9, get home half hour after that and you'll be home."

He did seem pretty sure about it all. And he wouldn't lie to me either. I nodded and took hold of his hand and made our way to a motorcycle he rented. Once we geared on the helmets and climbed on, Lark took his time pulling out to the street and then zoomed off on the road.

* * *

The amusement park was magical. Like Disney but less fun, but still as fun. Lark parked his bike and we entered the park. I thought if we went on two rides and get some food we could leave, but the lines were short so I thought a couple wouldn't be too bad.

We went on Inkie's Scrambler first. I'm not sure how to describe it other than it's a ride you sit in and you move in all sorts of directions. After that we went on Sea Dragon which swung back and forth and got higher each time. Then we came to the roller coaster. I'm terrified of those rides as the last time I went on one of them my seat belt came undone by itself and I was holding on to dear life for the next two minutes. Lark held my hand as we geared to the top and then suddenly we fell down and started going in all sorts of directions. Lark used his free hand to hold it up and scream. I held onto the bar and my stomach. But it was fun so we went on two more times. By the end of that we went on a swing ride, where you sit in a seat and get lifted up as the ride spins, and then we got on the Ferris wheel.

The view at night of LA was beautiful. No wonder it was called City of Angels. Lark kept throwing spitballs out of a straw. "Wanna leave after this?" He asked.

"Sure." I smiled.

We reached the tip top of the Ferris Wheel and stopped so the bottom passengers could get off. After that we stayed up for a few minutes before we were to go again. But the ride didn't move. Maybe more people wanted to go on but after another minute we still didn't move.

_"Attention riders of the Ferris Wheel!" _Someone from below shouted. _"There seems to be a little malfunction, but do not worry. We should have it working again in the next hour."_

I took my phone out and looked at the time. Shit. It's 9:30, we stayed too late. By the time we got off and left for home it be half past lights out and I'll be in trouble.

"You okay?" Lark asked me.

I nodded as I texted Unique.

_Hey, I'm so sorry but do me a favor please? Cover for me? I'm not going to be there for check-in lights out, I'm with a friend and we're kind of stuck somewhere. I'm fine I promise._

She texted back.

_**No problem girl! What sort of problem? And who?**_

_This guy Lark that I know. Ryder knows him. We went to the Santa Monica amusement park and we're stuck on the Ferris Wheel. Please cover for me?"_

_**Oh yes, Mr. Schue. Marley is here, she's in the bathroom taking a shower. ;)**_

_Thanks Unique!_

I put my phone away.

_"Actually, this may take longer than needed!" _The voice below told us.

"Shit." I sighed. "This is not going to end well, I know it..."


	39. Finn 20

**Heyyo.**

* * *

**39\. Finn 2.0**

By the time the stupid idiots finished making the ride work again it was half past closing time and I was in deep shit. Ryder was going to have my ass for being an hour late to our little bedroom date. Those idiots had to fine more parts as half the parts broke in half and caused the ride to stop working. Some they had to go run to a closed store, get inside, and buy the parts.

Lark and I made a dash to the motorcycle and soon we got on the road back to the hotel.

* * *

We arrived back and I ran off faster than a bolt of lightening, not caring about Lark apologizing for being late, and made a dash for the hotel. I felt sweat building up on my forehead and my hands swell up with fear. I ran up the stairs to my hotel room and prayed Unique would open and not ask questions.

I reached the room and took a breathe before sliding my key card out and putting it inside the slot, it turned green, and i slid it out then opened the door. The lights were off so I was about to put the main light on, but then one of the lamps turned on. A figure sat there on the bed.

Finn.

Crap...again.

"Finn?"

"Where in the hell were you Marley?" Finn questioned me. "Don't lie to me saying you went for a long walk on the beach with Ryder like some romantic crap. You aren't like that Marley. And your not someone who makes their friends lie about everything."

"Finn I—" I started.

"I came to check on you two. Unique said you were in the shower. I left and came back an hour later to see if guys came into the room, because I'll have my ass kicked if that happened, and she said you were taking another shower. I left for a half hour then on my way back to my room checked and YOU WERE STILL IN THE BATHROOM!"

Oh my God, he was yelling at me.

"So I asked Ryder and he had no idea where you were and I asked Blaine and he had no idea. Finally Brittany told me the whole shenanigans for the night; Jake and Kitty in his and Ryder's room, Brittany meeting Sam in her and Kitty's room which left Blaine and Tina in Sam and Blaine's room. Then Ryder and you were going to have some room to yourself. But you weren't here for anything as Ryder accidentally texted me asking Brittany if she knew where you were. Oh and meanwhile I'm doing all of this behind Mr. Schue's back which already sucks because of the whole frigging Valentine's Day thing! Tell me where the hell you were tonight!" Finn yelled.

I'd never seen Finn yell like this before. It scared me. I started to shake and said, "I was with Lark! A friend of mine! We went to the amusement park and a ride we were on got stuck for a long time!"

"Aren't you and Ryder dating?"

"IT WAS NOT A DATE!" I yelled.

"Crap..." Finn rubbed his head. "Are you okay? Did anything happen?"

"No, I swear nothing happened. Just stuck on a ride. I was suppose to be back by lights out." I explained. "I promise."

Finn sighed and rubbed his head again. He looked at me and said, "Because it's National's and everyone is needed, I can't take you off for breaking the rules."

"What rule?"

"What rule, Marley? In your room by check in at 10!" Finn shouted. "But you've learned your lesson right?"

I nodded.

"Good." He said. "You know, you've been different lately. Since I found you smoking you've kind of been the same but also different...what's going on?"

"Nothing!" I yelled. "Finn I wanna go to bed! Leave the room now!"

"Practice at 5. Don't be late." Finn said. He started to leave and right before he shut the door he said, "Sleep good."

* * *

I knocked on the door of the empty room Ryder said he'd be in when he texted me around the time we were suppose to me up. I knocked loudly and called his name out.

The door opened with a slam. "What the hell Marley!?" He whispered in a yell. "What happened? Finn was on my ass tonight and—"

"Lark's here." I said. "Well not here, here, but he's here. We met a while after you left for the hotel and we took a trip to the amusement park not too far from here and a ride got stuck and we got stuck there for a while." By now I was in tears. Finn hated me, now Ryder might hate me.

Ryder just looked at me with an angry glare. How couldn't he? I ditched our plans for plans with Lark and that got messed up.

"Please don't be mad at me. Finn already isn't happy with me and I feel like complete shit—"

"You smell like cigarettes." Ryder pointed out.

"Lark had some. He was bored and smoked while we waited to get off the ride." I said. "And I lost connection after a while to my phone, I got messages but couldn't reply."

"Finn doesn't hate you. I don't hate you." Ryder said to me. Ryder pulled me in for a tight embrace and kissed the tip of my head. "Just promise me you'll stop acting reckless, please? This isn't you and it's a little scary too see you going off the edge like this. That's why Finn was mad; he was worried that something happened to you tonight. Same with me. I just didn't know what was happening with you and got worried."

I nodded into his chest. I felt like crap to him. I felt like I've made this promise too many times.

* * *

As much as I wanted a cigarette after that, I fell asleep alone in my room. Crying to sleep.


	40. Practice

**Heyyo.**

* * *

**40\. Practice.**

I woke up to my alarm set at 7. I got up, showered and dressed for breakfast at eight. Unique didn't even ask a word about anything but instead talked about her night. I sat there listening to her and smiled. We left the room and saw Ryder waiting for us at the elevator. He grasped my hand and gave a good morning kiss before giving a greeting to Unique as the doors opened.

Downstairs we sat at a reserved table given to us, New Directions, after getting food at the self-serve buffet. Everyone was there. Mr. Schue joined us a while later. "Eat up guys, I changed practice to after lunch so we have rehearsals from 1 to eight. Check-in and lights out around 10 again, alright? Big Day tomorrow!" Everyone cheered and went back to eating their food. Mr. Schue made his way over to me and asked me to come with him for a minute.

Oh crap, he knows.

We went off to a corner of the dining room. "Marley—"

"Mr. Schue! I'm sorry, I didn't mean for it to happen I swear. It just happened." I said.

"Marley we've talked about this before, it's okay." He said.

Maybe he meant the cigarettes and not making it back in time for lights out. "I've stopped, I promise."

"Marley—"

"Okay, okay, maybe once or twice but that's it." I said.

He looked startled. "When?"

"The other day and when we got to the hotel rooms." I muttered.

"Marley, I thought you said your, you know, throwing up stopped." He said. Wait, my throwing up habit? That's what he was talking about? "Are you okay to be in National's? We have those few members Sam got for backup dancers and we could have one fill your spot and give your lyrics to Kitty and Brittany—"

"Oh, no, I thought you meant something else. No I haven't puked in a while." I said.

Mr. Schue looked a little confused. "What did you think I meant?"

"Nothing." I said. "Was that it?"

"Oh, no, well I got these for you," He pulled out of a small shopping bag a small plastic container. "It's a protein shake. I have a few for you in case you want some throughout today and tomorrow."

"Oh," I was surprised. He got those for me? That was nice. But i said, "Thanks for these, but I don't like these. I've tried them in the past and they're gross."

"Oh, um,"

"I'm fine don't worry." I smiled in assurance.

* * *

The rest of the time spent was on a beach with the gang. Lark called me once and we talked on the phone for a while until I could see Ryder was growing pissed off about us talking, so I excused myself and hung up. "I'm still friends with him, Ry."

"I wish you weren't." He muttered.

Practice was well. We hit all the notes correctly, we danced to the beat on time and made sure everyone knew their places for each number for each second of the number. We ordered pizza and everyone had three or two slices before we went back to practice. Probably an hour after that I felt a headache and felt dizzy. I wanted to take a break but I feared Tina would throw a fit at me. But she'd throw a fit if I didn't stop.

I can't win with Tina.

Mr. Schue gave us a half hour break around 7. Everyone sat on the floor and took breathes with their water bottle. I told Ryder I was going to go outside for fifteen minutes for fresh air. He nodded and leaned back on the floor taking a breathe.

I stepped outside from where we were to perform tomorrow night. I sat on a bench waving a hand at my face to cool off more. I leaned back on the bench and took some breathe before feeling a tap on my kneecap from a foot. Upon looking I saw Lark. "hey Kiddo."

"Lark, do you have a cigarette with you now?"

"Nah, just a joint. About to go hang out with some new friends who got them too over in an alley not too far."

Damn. I couldn't. "Do they have beer?"

We went to where he was going, an apartment not far from practice being held, and I was given a bottle of beer. I chugged that thing down in a heartbeat, ate a full thing of Ritz crackers, oyster crackers and some saltine crackers and a bite of pizza all in a matter of ten minutes. I waved off to Lark and went back to practice.

My head killed from the drinking, but I pulled through for another thirty minutes. But after that I had a headache that hurt more. So did everyone else so they assumed it was from practice.

Ryder and I watched a movie with some of them in Sam and Blaine's room until Mr. Schue told us to get back to our rooms. I told Unique I was going to stay up a bit later and she said it was fine. I was texting Lark and we made a plan to meet on the hotel roof in about an hour an a half.

* * *

I knew how to get to the roof. Just keep going up the stairs behind the building until you get to the top. I did sneak out, but only at 1 AM knowing I wouldn't get caught. I found Lark already there smoking a joint.

"Hey Marley!" He laughed. "Want some?" He held it out.

I took it and put it near my mouth. "Yep." I said and inhaled some. I handed it back and asked for the cigarette boxes. He took them out and handed them over to me. "Here ya go."

I had six or seven of them in the course of an hour before going back to bed.


	41. National's II

**Oh my god, 100 reviews! I can't believe that! That is so amazing and wonderful and magical! Thank you so much for all the reviews, each and every single one of you Gleeks reading this! :)**

* * *

**41\. National's II: Four Men and a Lady.**

Around an hour after that Lark and I were still on the roof smoking joints and smoking cigarettes. He had a few beer bottles with him too but I opted to stay sober and instead let myself go through being high and then head off to bed. I felt more focused than ever now and confident more than the past to perform at National's. I knew how proud everyone would be of me and how Mom is smilingin Heaven at her daughter having confidence to do this.

I felt myself fall asleep on Lark and go into a deep dream about my future...

Ryder and I were married. Living in Lima, strangley, raising our children. In my dreams Ryder and I could afford to care for many children so of course we had seven girls and seven boys; two biological daughters and three biologial sons. The rest of them were adopted by Ryder and I because we knew more kids that were already born needed a family to love and care for them. So we adopted many of them; many from Asia and Europe...except Tina thinks one of the kids is a long lost sibling of hers. Weird. Not to mention that every night before bed Ryder gives me the boquet of kittens and a piee of cake. But nevertheless I'm thriller and joyed that my family is here and that me, being a singer on the radio, made my dreams completly true.

I woke up to Lark shaking me awake. "Marley? Marley?"

"Hmmm, eggs." I said. "Ry?"

"No, it's Lark. It's six thirty seven, ya gotta get up and go back to the hotel room before your friend wakes up." He said. "Come on."

I couldn't move, I was too sleepy. I started to fall asleep again. Lark sighed as he lifted me up and started to carry me. He mutter something about as long as he got me into the bed of the room everything would seem okay.

I felt us going down the stairs and he checked to make sure nobody was in the lobby that I knew of or he knew of. He tried to get me to wake up again but then I couldn't wake up. Still too sleepy. He walked into the hotel room and made his way over to the elevator and pressed the button. We waited for several minutes before the doors opened and I heard a familiar voice.

"Marley?"

Mr. Schue.

"Oh, hey Ryder." Lark said.

"What the hell, Lark!?" Ryder yelled.

"Thisis Lark?" Finn asked.

I opened my eyes and saw the three of them. "Hi." said softly.

"Ryder, Marley, Finn, who's Lark? Who are you? Why are you with one of my students?" Mr. Schue started to ask a million questions.

Lark stayed cool. "Damn cousin Ryder, you didn't tell these guys how I'm you favorite cousin in the world?" He was being sarcastic. of course he knew he was Ryder's least favorite. "Well, I'm his cousin and Marley and I are friends."

"Marley, why are you not in your room?"Mr. Schue asked me.

"Early bird I am, so I take a walk on the beach. Forgot bottle of water to take." I said as I slowly woke up more. "Last thing I 'member... docks."

"Why is she with you, Dumb ass?" Ryder asked.

"I was going out to get breakfast and I saw her walking along the beach and by the time I got to meet up with her and see what was going she fainted." Lark said. Something in his voice sounded different and I knew what it was. He was lying and he loathed lying. He always spoke the truth, so why now? "So I thought I would get her back here."

"Dumb Ass, how'd you know we where here?" Ryder asked.

"Silly Ryder, it's called when Marley and I talk on the phone she mentioned it."

"Are you from here?" Mr. Schue asked Lark.

"Nah, Lima. I came to support Ryder and friends at the competiton." Lark said. "Sorry for being a nice guy, but I was doing what I thought was right."

"You okay, Marley?" Finn asked me. I nodded. "Okay."

"Come on," Ryder took my hand and we headed towards the dining room.

I turned back and saw Mr. Schue and Finn talking to Lark for a few minutes. Lark then turned on his foot and walked away. Ryder turned the corner and gently held me against the wall so I was trapped in his arms. "Marley Jane Rose, you smell like weed and cigarettes and you breathe smells like beer."

"Okay, I had a fucking cigarette! In fact Ryder Richard Lynn, I had seven of them last night when I met up with Lark!" I yelled. "I couldn't help it, I was under fucking stress with everything and I needed to calm the fuck down! He smoked the joints and I have no idea how I smell like booze if I didn't fucking drink!"

Ryder threw his hands to his head. "Jesus Marley!" He yelled. "We've been over this over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over again and again and again and again and again! There are more healthy ways of dealing with stress than smoking cigarettes and joints and drinking! So many better ways than this Marley! You need to stop this or I'm going to tell on you soon!"

"You know what Ryder!? You have given me that threat ver and over and over and over and over and over and over and over again and again and again and again and again! You never do anything about it! You just keep assuming that I'll stop! It's not that damn easy to get over this, you piece of shit!" I screamed.

Ryder slammed his hand into his face. "Piece of shit...what happened to my sweet Marley? She wouldn't say that."

"I have confidence now Ryder! I'm not the same girl I was back in November!" I yelled. I escaped from his little barricade and made my way to the lobby so that I could leave. Screw breakfast.

"You're right!" Ryder yelled chasing after me. "You aren't the same girl you were back then! I miss that Marley! The one who was nice to everyone and didn't lie and even if she had low confidence and cried, it was a whole lot fucking better than going to the fucking football field and smoking cigarettes with a bunch of Loser Pot Heads who's lives are going to end up in a fucking trash bin at a dump or dead from all the drugs they're using!"

"Well excuse me for having the confidence I didn't have back then!" I screamed.

"Holy shit, you're fucking crazy!" Ryder screamed at me.

"FUCK YOU, RYDER! FUCK YOU, YOU PIECE OF FUCKING SHIT!" I yelled. Everyone in the lobby was now looking at us. Including Mr. Schue and Finn. "STOP TRYING TO ACT LIKE MY FATHER! YOU ARE NOT MY FATHER!"

"OH AND I AM SO GLAD I AM NOT HIIM! OTHERWISE I WOULD KICK YOUR ASS FOR CIGARETTE SMOKING!" He yelled at me.

"FUCK OFF YOU FUCKING PIECE OF SHIT!" I yelled.

* * *

I ran out of the hotel lobby after that. Ryder didn't bother to run after me, too pissed to come after me. I ran down to the beach and found a rock to sit on. I bawled my eyes out. I didn't mean to yell that at him, I swear I didn't meant too. I was just mad that he was pissed at me for hanging out with Lark. Yes, smoking is something I need to stop doing, but I couldn't help it. I loved it.

I loved smoking.

Somewhile later I walked along the beach. I passed a bunch of teeangers smoking cigarettes and asked for one. They gave me one, lit it up for me, and I smoked. I felt so relaxed smoking.

I loved smoking.


	42. National's III

**I still had one part of the third song in this story. I just loved it. Even though Finn is alive in this, I still loved it.**

* * *

**42\. National's III**

We practice for two hours, three hours before we were set to go on. Ryder and I barely talked other than during the dancing when we had to communicate together and work together to make the dance routine work. After that he went off with Blaine and Jake and I sat alone on one of the chairs. I wanted a cigarette so badly right now.

I finished applying the blue to my eye makeup and brushed my hair one more time. I took a glance in the mirror and smiled; I was beautiful. I loved it. I came out of the room and Unique was all set to go into the lobby and meet up with everyone for the shuttle bus to take us to National's.

Downstairs in the lobby everyone was already there except for Ryder. Either he was late or he was avoding me and hiding behind someone. I sat on the couch texting Lark and Minnie back and forth. Minnie said we passed the check-up, which was good. Lark said he was around the area and meet us at the performing arts center. I put my phone away and shut my eyes to sooth myself down, but felt someone tap me. I turned and faced a boquet of peonies, with someone hiding their face. "Peonies"

The flowers moved and Ryderwas there. "Your favorites." He said, handing them to me. "I left to go get them a while ago."

Thank you," I said as I took them. I smelled the flowers and grinned.

"I'm sorry for getting mad this morning," Ryder said as his hand rested on my shoulder and his thumb rubbed my shoulder skin. "I'm just a big, worry ass."

"I'm sorry for screaming and calling you mean names." I told him. "I know you just care. I'm just... I feel like when summer starts I can really focus more on getting better. I won't have school or Tina Cohen-Chang stress." I laughed.

He laughed too. "Alright, that's good. But try to start now too, okay?"

"Okay." I said. Then leaned in for a kiss on the lips. "I love you."

"Love you too."

* * *

We arrived at the performing arts center and got signed in. We were third in the lineup of singing. I feltmy nerves leveling up, but I stayed cool. I went outside to get some fresh air.

"Hi." I heard Lark come up to me. "You look pretty."

"Thanks." I said. "I'm so excited."

"And you just can't hide it." Lark laughed. "You okay?"

"Just nervous."

"Want to smoke a butt?" He asked. "Or joint? I'm gonna hit it up after you guys sings." He said.

"No, I have to be clean." I told him. Then thought about it. "Maybe one or two cigarettes and a lighter."

He nodded and handed me two cigarettes and a lighter. I placed them inside my dress, inside my bra, and hid them until I could get them in my bag in the New Directioin's dressing room. I left the room and joined the others on stage. I could see the audience and my nerves got filled up again, but Ryder held my hand and I calmed down a little bit.

The others sang. I have to say, the group that sang Mr. Roboto with that guy with the Frencn name _did _sound amazing. Blaine was right when it said it might be hard to beat them, espeically since they skip classes in order to do at least 200 hours of non-stop perfoming in order to join that Glee club. At least I think that is what Blaine told us. He reads the Show Choir Blogs a lot.

Our turn.

We got into our first dance positions. Soon the music began and and we danced and sang our parts of the song. The audience seemed to enjoy themselves with our proformance and soon enough we rolled into our second song, which made the audience cheer more as we danced and sang. It was that number that Ryder and i were mainly partners and I couldnt help but giggled when he had to lift me up and spin me around. Finally the third number came and I could see Finn lauging on the side of the stage. Sam wanted to do this for Finn, our leader, so we sang one his most favorite songs. I Still Haven't Found What I'm Looking For. At the end of the numbr we pulled out of dresses (or inside pockets for the guys) red drum sticks with sparkles on them and held them up on the last note. That made the audience roar with excitment.

* * *

We left the stage and we all jumped and cheered and hugged congradulation everyone together. There was a forth group that on now. Everyone was watching them, but I decided to head off to the side and cool down. I grabbed my cigarettes and lighter and left for outside. I lit one up and started smoking the cigarette. I felt myself cool down.

"Three minutes." A voice behind my back said.

I turned around, making sure the cigarette was still behind me, and saw it was Mercedes. "Excuse me?"

"Three minutes. Give yourself a three minute pity party then get back on your feet and keep working on your music." She told me. I dropped the cigarette behind me and took a step back so my shoes squished it. "Look, I've been submiting songs, declined, submiting, declined, submiting and declined and it hurts I know. But then you get back on your feet and keep working on it. Someone is going to listening to them and take them and the rest of those people who rejected you will feel terrible for not accepting you."

"How did you know?"

"Those guys told me. Ryder and Jake." She said to me. "Those guys care about you and Ryder espeically cares a lot about you a lot."

I smiled. That was true.

"Don't give up on your dreams Marley Rose, you're too good for that." She said to me.

We hugged after that. I felt a lot better after that.

As soon as she left though, offering to walk back in with me, I opted to stay outside for another ten minutes. As soon as she left though I pulled out my second cigarette and smoked.

* * *

We won.


	43. Drunk, High, Caught, Broken

**Awwwww**

* * *

**43\. Drunk, High, Caught, Broken.**

Later at a celebration party that was being held in the hotel for us, the winners of National's 2013, I danced the night away with everyone. Lark was here for at least half an hour before going off too meet up with some of his friends that he made. Ryder and I slow danced a little bit so several songs before he got a text from Lark. Actually it was one of Lark's friends, asking him to help get Lark out of the house as everyone was kicked out. Ryder sighed and muttered anger as he left to get Lark and put him upstairs in his and Jake's room. "Fucking Charlie Sheen."

An hour passed; Ryder had to find the apartment and then get Lark back here. I saw them entering the elevator and Lark was both high and drunk, I could tell as I've seen it before. I waved at them both and they waved back as the doors shut. I grinned but then frowned. I wished Ryder liked Lark but I knew Lark was the type of person that Ryder loathed. I bet Ryder wouldn't even attend his own cousins wake or funeral if Lark died... I think he even mentioned it too once. I shrugged off that idea and went to dance with Artie and Sam.

Ryder never came back down. I ended up going to the room, half an hour later, and knocked on the door. Nothing happened. I knocked again and called my name out to them. The door slammed open and it was Ryder.

Pissed off as Hell.

"Ryder, what's taking so long?" I asked him.

He didn't look too pleased with me at all. Oh crap, Lark must of told him about the roof. Damn it Lark. But the way Ryder looked at me, with deep disgust, had me think something else had to happen that he was giving me this ugly picture of himself. But then I looked inside the middle of his eyes and saw some hurt in them.

"Ryder?" I asked worried.

"Marley, shut up." He said.

"What?" I asked him.

"When the fuck were you going to tell me!?" He yelled, now more irate.

"Tell you what?" I asked.

"That you slept with Lark when you left that damn party a few weeks ago!"

I froze. How did he know...oh Lark of course. But Lark keeps saying that it never happened. "Ryder—"

"Out of all the damn people to cheat on with, it had to be that pot head loser!" Ryder yelled. "Even Stoner Brett would of been a better choice!"

"Because he isn't family, right!?" I yelled now angry too. "Ryder I swear to God I thought it was you! I was drunk and a little high and when I saw Lark, I swear to God I saw your face and your voice!"

"Why in the hell would I even be at Lark's apartment!? I don't like him, I hate him!"

"Too pick me up for some reason and check that I'm okay!" I told him. "It was a mistake!"

"Oh and my favorite part is what else Lark told me, being this drunk and high and telling me all about his favorite crushes even with the girls taken, is that the three pregnancy scares he had his favorite was YOURS because of HOW MANY DAMN TESTS YOU TOOK!" Ryder screamed loudly now. "Are you pregnant!?"

"No, it was a false alarm. Long story short; just because my period is back, it's not going to be normal for a while. The cycle needs to find itself again. It just didn't show up like it should of, my doctor said it was normal."

"What the hell were you going to do if you were pregnant!? Find a way to have sex with me so it timed perfectly and I'd think this kid was my own kid!? You know how shitty that would be for everyone, including that kid if there was a kid to be expected!?"

"I AM NOT PREGNANT RYDER! I JUST SAID THAT!" I screamed. "AND I AM APOLOGIZING FOR THE MILLIONTH TIME, I DID NOT MEAN FOR IT TO HAPPEN! I THREW UP ALL DAY THE NEXT DAY BECAUSE I FELT LIKE A HORRIBLE BITCH THAT IT HAPPENED AND THAT IT HAPPENED WITH YOUR COUSIN!"

"That's the worse part again. Out of all the people; it was Lark." He said in disbelief. "Do you know how much its killing me inside? Do you know how it feels that this trust we had with one another was broken because of this incident? And the fact that I had to learn it from Lark right now and not form you as soon as it happened, it hurts. It's like you don't ever want to tell me what is going on in your life."

"I do." I sobbed. "I do tell you everything."

"No, I don't think you do. I think you tell it out by smoking, getting high and drinking. And that is so bad Marley, it's not healthy. What in the world would your Mom think if she found you still doing this to yourself. Or your Dad?"

"He's in jail for drugs." I said.

"Don't be like him. Don't do drugs, don't even associate yourself that way." Ryder pleaded. He sighed deeply before rubbing his forehead. "I need to be alone for a while, taking care of Lark and then... all this."

"Are-are-are you mad?" I sobbed through the words.

"Disappointed." He said. "I'll see you in the morning. Good night."

"Goodnight." I said with arms open. Maybe he would hug me.

Ryder shut the door in my face. Not slammed, just gently.

* * *

I retreated back to my room. My heart broken in a million of pieces.

I broke us.

I did this.

My fault.

It's always my fault.

It'll always be my fault.

Ryder is better off without me.

I dug into my bag and found some cigarettes and a lighter. I placed those in my jacket pocket, went down into the lobby and passed everyone partying so that I was outside. I walked down to the beach and sat alone on a bench.

I pulled a cigarette out and smoked.


	44. Summer Plans

**:O**

* * *

**44: Summer Plans.**

I cried all night; quietly as I could so Unique could sleep. I still can't believe that I broke Ryder and I. I loved him. I knew that he cared about me, but this wasn't how I was suppose to treat him. I'm the worse girlfriend in the world.

I don't deserve a guy like him.

I shouldn't make him worry about me like this. It wasn't fair. And I'm starting to think I'm becoming Larkette. Or Larka. Whatever the girl name of Lark would be; I'm no different than him now.

I sat outside on the beach watching as the sun began to rise up. I thought about it for the past few hours. I had no other choice.

I had to breakup with Ryder.

We still had a few weeks left of school so I decided to wait until Summer began for me to break the news. I know all summer he was going to harass me non-stop and tell me that we weren't over. At least to him we weren't over; but I am to us.

We had breakfast at the hotel before heading to the airport. Ryder didn't sit next to me for breakfast, opting to eat with Jake and Sam, which was fine with me. But on the shuttle bus to the airport Ryder sat next to me. I thought he had changed his mind and forgave me. He gave a small weak smile to me, I returned a large grin, he then pulled out his I-pod and played music. I frowned and looked back out the window sighing.

* * *

The plane ride was a little over three and a half hours. And it wouldn't of been wonderful since Sugar gave everyone certain tickets her Dad sent to her e-mail account to print; giving me a window seat and Ryder the middle seat. But I figured if Ryder was going to listen to his music I might as well sleep or watch a movie or even read a book.

At the airport we had an hour to relax before boarding the plane. Ryder and Jake were buying snacks for the plane ride. I sat alone on a chair reading a book until I got a text.

**Hey, look up and turn your head to the side facing the luggage pick up.**

I looked and turned my head to the right; finding Lark at the luggage pickup area. I smiled as I got up and, taking my stuff with me, followed over to him. Before getting any word out Lark opened his arms, wrapped them around me, and hugged me while spinning in a circle. "Congrats on the big win, National's!" He laughed.

"Thank you!" I smiled.

"What are you going to do next?"

"Sleeping!" I laughed, but he didn't. "What?"

"...You were suppose to day 'I'm going to Walt Disney World!'" Silly," He laughed. "So what's new after this I mean, as a winner? You and my cousin gonna join the Mile High club?" He winked.

"No, I never even heard of that." I said. "No, actually I'm...I'm breaking things up."

He instantly frowned. "Why?"

"It's complicated." I told him.

"That's not a fucking answer Marley." Lark said. "Give me a reason and if it's not good enough or even legit, then you can't break it off with him. It'll be stupid."

I tried to think of what to say. Then came up with the excuse. "I need to work on myself before I can care for someone else. If I'm going to stop taking drugs and drinking at times and smoking, I need to work on myself alone."

Oh my God, I just lied to Lark.

A smile grew on Lark's mouth. "Ah, I see. Alright then, that's a good reason."

"But not until Summer begins." I said to him. "So I have all summer to work on myself and he has all summer to...to whatever." I wanted to say the actual truth; to find a new girlfriend who isn't messed up.

"Ryder's gonna help you out. No matter what." Lark told me. "I'd help out too in person but I'm up and over at New York this summer. I got a gig as a park entrance person Monday to Friday, five to seven, and then bar tender on Saturday nights from three to eleven. But I'm free to Skype or whatever, I'll give you a schedule before I drive there."

"Sounds great." I told him. "Sounds like fun."

* * *

The plane ride was actually not bad. Ryder and I watched a movie together and we played games on our phones and I read to him. He's heard me read _The Hunger Games _books to him over and over again; but he loved it no matter what. At one point during the reading Ryder's head pricked up and he gave a long kiss on my cheek. I turned surprised.

"What was that for?"

"Because I love you." He said. Then taking my hand in his own he said, "I'm still a little disappointed about what happened between Lark and you," He whispered. "It's gonna take a while for that part to get over with. But I love you and no matter what I'll be here for you. Always."

I smiled and hugged him, receiving a hug back, and cried. I cried for happiness and sadness. Happy that he pretty much forgave me, but sad about what was to come in a couple of weeks.

* * *

We arrived back home hours later and upon coming to Sugar's mansion for the celebration party; all of the parents were there with balloons, horns, lots of food, a large cake and a large banner that both read '2013 National Winners!' in red. Everyone was real pleased and psyched about the celebration. Ryder saw his parents over near the potato chips table and ran to go greet them. His Mom jumped forward and hugged him first, giving him the tightest squeeze ever.

I felt someone run up behind me and hug me too. I turned around and saw Minnie with the biggest smile on her face. "Marley! I miss you!"

"Hi Minnie!" I hugged her back. I loved how Minnie was here, but I wish Mom was here.

I still miss Mom.

Actually throughout the whole party I missed Mom. We would always talk about National's and how wonderful it would be to celebrate the win together. But she's gone and I miss her more than ever.

I don't even have a cigarette to smoke too. I whispered to Minnie if she had some, but she had the last one before we arrived. Perfect.

Sometime after a speech was made before we ate dinner, during dinner at least, with Mom still on my mind I got up and walked away from the table to sit outside in the backyard near a little fish pond. I felt miserable being inside because Mom wasn't there. This party was really bumming me down.

God, I needed a fucking cigarette.

"J-Crew?" I heard Sam's voice call out my nickname. We called each other J-Crew as a joke; both of our Moms having to buy clothes from Wal-mart because we were both poor, but they added J-Crew to the label to make it look like we could afford it. "You okay?"

I didn't cry. I just looked down at my feet. "I miss my Mom." I muttered. "We always talked about this...celebrating National's together...now it's happened and she's not here..."

Sam sat next to me and placed his arm around me. "It's okay, we're all here for you. Hey so Sugar said that whoever is still in Lima this summer she's gonna take us all to Six Flags! I'll be your buddy if Ryder is at his grandparents place this summer!"

"Oh shit, summer!" I yelled. It had hit me, Mom and I had this jar filled with a lot of money to use for a trip to Six Flags for the day. She said she didn't want to go on rides, but said I could. But that money was gone because of my habit. "Fucking cigarettes!"

"You're still smoking!?" Sam asked surprised. "I thought that was over."

"Yes, it is...but...ugh!" I yelled in frustration. "Mom and I saved money to go to Six Flags this summer and I used the money to get fucking cigarettes! She didn't notice and after she died I've used it to get some cigarettes!" I then yelled out louder. "GOD DAMN CIGARETTES!"

I sobbed after that.

* * *

The party ended. After Sam helped me calm down and be able to go back into the party, I met up with Ryder and stayed next to him the entire time for the rest of the party. Minnie and I got back to the house and she went upstairs to shower.

I sat alone in my room. I was still pissed and depressed about everything.

Mom, cheating, breaking up with Ryder, Mom, cigarette habit, breaking up with Ryder, Mom. Just almost everything.

I needed to get away this summer. Away from Lima for the summer. Just so I could get into my own head and do things on my own, like break this habit of cigarettes and drugs.

I pulled out my laptop and went online to do some research.

* * *

**Uh oh. So what do you think Marley is gonna do now?**


	45. Minnie and Ryder

**:O**

* * *

**45: Minnie and Ryder.**

A week after we returned, on a Friday night, I waited for Ryder to pick me up for date night. I decided that every date night until the last one, I would make it the best I could make it. Minnie lent me the same outfit she wore to Rhonda's party (the night I cheated on Ryder). The only difference was that Gina Sanchez, Minnie's girlfriend, let me borrow her black military blazer.

Those two were going on a date of their own somewhere. Gina was in the kitchen talking on the phone while Minnie finished applying her makeup in the downstairs bathroom mirror. She existed the bathroom minutes later. "You all set tonight?" She asked me.

"Yes." I said.

"I'm gonna be out all night, sleeping over at Gina's place, so I'll be home tomorrow night." Minnie said. "What's with the long face?"

"Minnie, can I ask you something? It's important." I said.

"Sure honey," She said calmly as she walked over to the couch with me. "What's wrong?"

" I feel like if I stay here this summer, my first summer without my Mom, it'll be too hard," I began to say. "So I was thinking of going away this summer. All summer. You remember Lark, right?" She nodded. "He's got a place to stay in a little area in Manhattan and I would stay there with him. He said he could even get me a job in the city for the summer. I just wanna get away with summer so I can focus on myself."

"Well sure," She said minutes later. "But what about Ryder?"

"That's another reason. I kind of cheated on him with Lark and I feel like shit doing so. He's still upset about it so I was going to break things up before I left for New York and that'll give him time to sink in and maybe find another girl."

"Oh Marley," She held a hand to my cheek. "That boy isn't going to stop loving you even if you break things up with him. He's going to keep on loving you until his last breathe. But I guess if this is what you want to do and if you think this is the best way to get things done; you have my permission." She smiled. "Just get me the address and phone number asap, okay?"

I grinned and nodded. "Okay." I hugged her. "Thanks Minnie."

* * *

Ryder and I had a fantastic date. I didn't want to make love like we always did at the end of the date, since I was going to break up soon, but I felt like I had to give him every piece of me until I left. It would hurt him. But I was saving him from having a horrible, ugly girlfriend who smokes and is starting to drink a lot more.

We made love three times that night, the longest ever. After we finished we laid on my bed; my head resting on Ryder's chest as his arm wrapped around me. The blankets were pulled up covering me all the way but I still felt some goose bumps on my skin.

"Hey," Ryder said. "My parents two week vacation is three weeks now, some sort of bonus for having so many vacation points or whatever. So their third week on the cruise is free. And my grandparents on Dad's side are heading to California and Mom's parents are going to Florida the same three weeks; both sets of them. So my parents said that as long as Minnie is OK with it, I can stay here."

"Oh, nice." I tried to sound happy.

"Also Dad added that as long as I had enough protection I could stay." He winked. "He doesn't want to be a Grandpa anytime soon."

I laughed. "Mom said the same thing a long time ago." I laughed. "Alright I can ask Minnie. I'm sure she won't mind."

Lies. Now I had to find an excuse.

* * *

Later that night I sat at my desk with my laptop. I e-mailed Lark asking him for permission to come along and waited.

I got a reply back from him.

**Sure, I can come pick you up around 9 AM the day after your school gets out, deal?**

I replied back.

_**Deal. :)**_


	46. Last Day

**Marley dress in profile**

**Also, I know I was a little dramatic with Ryder and Marley in her bedroom, but I felt like this was something Marley would do before leaving for 3 months.**

* * *

**46: Last Day.**

Time to graduate. That is for the seniors, at least. I can't believe they graduated. I mean I've known them this year only and I know we will always be lifetime friends but it is going to be hard not seeing them in school again. Blaine's kindness, Sam's jokes and impressions, Brittany's optimistic views on life, Artie smiling and trying to help everyone and Tina. We had so many downfalls and, as much as I hate blaming people, if she ever stopped bitching in the past about everything from losing Sectional's to whatever else, I'd probably wouldn't of smoked cigarettes in the first place. But that was long ago and now this graduated Diva is going to Brown University. One of the best schools in America, being a member of an Ivy League school.

I had nothing like that. No chance of ever getting into Brown or NYADA or any school that would offer some sort of performance program/degree that would help me become closer to my dream job; being a singer on the radio.

It was also my last night with Ryder. I was leaving tomorrow morning sometime after breakfast and before Minnie left for work. I had to be on my own now; focus on myself and maybe either become a better person or realize that I'm more like my father than ever.

I had a dream, or nightmare, that I saw myself in New York totally drunk and sticking a hundred needles in my arms while smoking a joint in between the beer bottles, slowly becoming someone I knew I did't want to be. But I couldn't shake off the feeling that it could happen.

No. I'm not going to do that. I'm not doing to end up like Dad.

We arrived at Blaine's mansion size home, both Ryder and I, dressed semi-form as Blaine requested. Ryder in jeans and a white short sleeve shirt with a black vest. Me in a black lace dress with cap sleeve and black Mary Jane shoes. Ryder and I got in the middle of the dance floor that everyone was gathered around, almost all of the seniors in the school where on the dance floor, and started to dance.

Halfway into the party Ryder and I sat down with plates of all the foods offered at the buffet table. "This party is great!" Ryder shouted over the music.

"I couldn't agree more!" I yelled. "This is the best party I've attended in a while."

"At least there aren't drugs here...oh shit, there's Brett." Ryder pointed to the red hair boy, who looked stoned as usual. Ryder looked over at me with worrisome eyes.

I smiled. "No, I'm partying tonight!"

Ryder leaned in and pressed his lips against mine, making a deep almost passionate kiss. "Good, I'm proud! We can go see a movie next Friday night as a celebration, how's that?"

"Um, sure." I said trying to act cool. _No date night. This is going to be our last one._

An hour into the party most of the New Direction kids had sang. Ryder's turn. He got up on stage, adjusted the microphone from Tina's height to his own, and turned to give the OK sign for the DJ to start. He already planned the song and said I would love it. He pulled me onto the stage, not caring that I was trying to stop myself from being embarrassed by everyone looking at us, and reassured my red blushing face that this was going to be amazing. The song began and I remembered it from Sadie Hawkins.

_My love must be a kind of blind love_  
_I can't see anyone but you_

Ryder began slow dancing us together. My arms wrapped around his neck and his one arm wrapped around my waist; holding me tight as we moved side to side.

_Are the stars out tonight?_  
_I don't know if it's cloudy or bright_  
_I only have eyes for you, dear_

_The moon may be high_  
_But i can't see a thing in the sky_  
_'cause i only have eyes for you_

Ryder dipped me down as low as possible, winking, and slowly pulling me back up and spinning us around on the stage slowly.

_I don't know if we're in a garden_  
_Or on a crowded avenue_

_You are here, so am i_  
_Maybe millions of people go by_  
_But they all disappear from view_  
_And i only have eyes for you_

I rested my head against Ryder's shoulder/neck and held him tightly as our steps became more graceful with each note he sang. God, this was such a beautiful song and it brought back all the happy memories I had with Ryder. All the great ones we had when I wasn't high or smoking or maybe drinking.

Then somehow the bad ones appeared. The ones where I smoked, especially the first time, and smoked weed the first time and got drunk and those times Ryder had found me doing any of those. Sometimes with Lark too.

_The moon may be high_  
_But i can't see a thing in the sky_  
_'cause i only have eyes for you_

_You are here, so am i_  
_Maybe millions of people go by_  
_But they all disappear from view._

Ryder dipped me down again, then up and rested his forehead against mine. His deep brown, chocolate Prince Charming eyes looking into my Cerulean ocean blue eyes. Connecting instantly with my soul.

_I don't know if we're in a garden_  
_Or on a crowded avenue_

_You are here, so am i_  
_Maybe millions of people go by_  
_But they all disappear from view_  
_And i only have eyes for you_

We gave a soft kiss at the end as everyone cheered at the song, then danced as **Last Friday Night **began playing.

* * *

I had my bags set already of everything I needed. All of my bags in my closet. I was going to shower in the morning and then have my last breakfast with Minnie.

I pulled Ryder up to my room. I planned on making as much love as possible with him. I even told him a little white lie and said I was horny as Hell on the way home after the party. Clothes came off as soon as we entered the bedroom, falling on my bed and grabbing all the condoms we could from my table drawer. Making out like we haven't seen each other in almost twenty years; Ryder leaving three of his marks on each side of my neck and on the front of my throat area.

God I was going to miss this.

We started. And we didn't stop until after we made love at least seven times. Pretty much as soon as we ended, we started up again after a three minute break to catch our breathe. Hell after we made love the seventh time I decided to give Ryder a blow-job, which he loved and couldn't contain himself from exploding. Soon after Ryder ate me out to an organism, motorboat me, sucked my breasts and then decided to do some more things. We've done mainly missionary every time we had made love, only once was I on top. So going for rounds eight and nine; I was on top. Round ten I found myself balancing on my hands and knees with Ryder behind me, round eleven on the cold, hard floor and round twelve Ryder was standing up with my back against the wall and my arms and legs wrapped around him and lucky unlucky thirteen both of us sitting on my bed, kind of like a lap dance position.

We've never though, either of us, that this would of happen. It was long and beautiful; what we had done together. Something to treasure for sure. These uncharted territories being done by us. I think we fucked each other to last several weeks without making love.

Too bad it would be longer than that.

We rested on top of my bed, breathing hard as Ryder took off the thirteenth condom (You have to change it every time, he told me, so that it wouldn't break.) and tied it before throwing it in the trash can. Ryder pulled me over and we cuddled into a beautiful spooning position. He leaned in and kissed me hard on the lips.

"Oh my god, that was unbelievable." He breathed out, still breathing deeply. "Let's see Jake and Kitty go like that. Hell, let's see Puck do that with one girl."

I laughed. "Never in my life would I think this would happen...oh my God, this was CRAZY!" I laughed again.

"We have to name that," Ryder told me. "That was the best sex ever, we need to name it."

"Unlucky Thirteen?" I questioned. "Or Lucky Thirteen?"

"Lucky Thirteen," Ryder said. "So bad and horrible, we're lucky enough to survive all of this at the end."

"Lucky Thirteen it is," I kissed his mouth.

I'm going to miss Lucky Thirteen.

Ryder and I held each other tightly. I did't want time to keep going, I wanted to freeze it and stay like this with Ryder a little longer. But I knew time kept going and soon Ryder would leave and as morning came I'd leave too.

Ryder stayed until midnight. He got up and got dressed, doing some weird sexy getting dress dance for me that consisted of putting his clothes on slowly, especially his lower half. I stayed in the bed, sheets covering my bare torso. Once Ryder was done belting his belt I stood up, not taking the bed-sheets with me, letting him see me nude one more time and hugged him. Ryder hugged me back softly; rubbing his large cold hand along my back and giving me goosebumps. I tried to hold back the tears, but I failed.

"Hey, hey," He said softly. "What's wrong?"

"I'm gonna miss you," I muttered softly. He only hugged me tighter.

"I'll come by and see you tomorrow afternoon around lunch. Lunch date, my treat. Okay?" He looked down at me and gave gave me a delighted smiled with cheerful eyes.

If only he knew.

"I love you," He said to me.

"Love you too." I said. Then leaned up and placed him a long, passionate but sweet kiss.

* * *

I put my bathrobe on and walked with him to my front door. We gave a long, deep passionate kiss until he had to part away to leave for home.

I stood there at the door waving at him, blowing him kisses. I even walked out as he pulled out and I stood on the curb as he drove away.

I stayed until I could no longer see the lights of his truck.

I broke down crying.

I'm going to miss him.

* * *

I went back inside the house and went to my laptop to re-read the letter. I wrote it last night, making it clear as possible for him to read. I cried reading it. I didn't want too.

But I had no choice.


	47. The Letter

**Heyyo!**

* * *

**47: The Letter.**

I woke up at six am sharp. I remember everything from last night clearly; I thought it was a dream but I knew it was real. But I had to try and focus on myself now and if this is what I was suppose to do, then it had to happen.

I showered, blow dried my hair and went to pick an outfit. Strangely is was going to be around 80-89 degrees later, so a pair of shorts and a top with my gladiator shoes would do. I found one of my favorite shirts; a black Aztec print short sleeve crop top, and a pair of high waist shorts. Once I finished getting ready I grabbed my two suitcases and my floral backpack handbag that I hung from my shoulders. I gazed around my room once more, taking everything inside, before I left for New York.

Minnie came home around 5, remembering that I was leaving this morning and not tomorrow morning as she thought, and went crazy for breakfast. Chocolate chip pancakes, blueberry muffins, bacon, hash browns, bagels, waffles, chocolate milk and coffee. She even made road snacks for Lark and I to enjoy on the seven hour drive.

"So I have the address and phone number to the apartment, right?" Minnie asked. I nodded, saying it had it on the fridge. "Good. That's good. And You'll call me as soon as you are settled inside of the apartment and let me know what job you have and the hours you got, right?"

"Yes Minnie, I'll do all that." I said to her. "I'll Skype you too."

"Jesus, frigging Skype. Use the damn telephone." She laughed. "Come on and eat up. And how did Ryder take the break up?"

"Oh he was upset but he understood and he's cool with me going to New York for the summer." I lied. I actually planned on dropping off the letter first. I decided to write it, much better and more truthful than computer notes. "I'm so excited."

* * *

9 AM came. Outside of the house was Lark's car that his friend was lending him for a while. While Lark got my suitcases in the trunk I turned to Minnie and gave her one final hug, hugging her tightly. She hugged me just as tight. I was going to miss Minnie.

I sat in the passenger seat and Lark pulled out of the driveway and drove away. "Lark, can we stop by Ryder's house? I need to drop off something he left."

'Sure thing." He told me.

We got to the house. Ryder would be asleep for another hour, his parents already at work. I got out of the car and went to the front door where the mail was to be slid in through the front door. I slide the paper inside and turned back to the car and slowly walked. I felt my heart breaking into a million pieces, I felt horrible. But it was the right thing to do.

I slid back into the seat and buckled up. "You okay?" Lark asked me.

"Yeah," I smiled. "I'm great."

Once we hit the main road I started to think back of the memories here in Lima. It would be forever since I would come back here and when I did Ryder would be well off and married. I knew he would always want me but I had to let him go. He needed someone who wasn't going to hold him back. Someone who didn't have a smoking problem or drug or drinking problem. But all I could think of now was that letter Ryder was going to find when he wakes up this morning. Reading the neat-hand written letter and seeing the words that would stab him in the heart.

_Dear Ryder,_

_I'm sorry this had to happen. But I'm too much to have you worry about me all the time, not giving you a breathe of fresh air to take. I don't want to be the reason you feel a burden and feel like you have to care for me all the time. It's not right, it's not fair._

_I'm going away now. Just for the summer. You don't know where, and Minnie doesn't know either, but she just knows I'm safe where I'm going. I have to focus on myself without having anyone feel like they need to care for me. I'll be alright, I promise._

_You can date other girls now. I don't mind, I want you too. I want you to date someone else. I'll love to meet her when I come back someday to Lima in the future. We don't have to mention we dated, just good friends we are._

_Please don't try to contact me. Please don't. Just move on, it'll be better for the both of us._

_I love you Ryder. I have and always will._

_Yours truthfully,_

_Marley Rose._


	48. The Road To New York,

**Heyyo!**

* * *

**48: The Road To New York,**

The drive between Ohio and New York was about eight and a half hours long. Lark said that depending on the rest stops we would take, we might get there by ten or even tomorrow if he wanted to drive all night. We thought about it over lunch in Youngstown, Ohio and decided to find a motel room for the night to stay in that was close to New York as possible and then leave early in the morning to head out and finish the trip to New York.

At lunch we stopped by this restaurant and sat in the outside setting. It was pretty warm out and there was little to small breeze outside, only us and three others sat outside in this weather. I checked my phone and saw no messages from Ryder. He can't be asleep still as I know his sleeping schedule on the non-school days and he was definitely awake now. Maybe he was heartbroken and crying while his body rocked back and forth in pain. It hurt me but I would get over it soon enough just like he would get over me and soon find another girl. A prettier and non-problem girl.

Lark spoke up. "Wanna go home?"

"No, I'll be fine." I said to him.

"So I figured that when we get there we can stop by a store and get some easy food for dinner." Lark said.

"Don't forget the cigarettes." I mentioned.

He looked perplexed. "I thought you stopped."

"I will soon. But I just want a couple now." I said to him. "No big problem."

"Okay then." Lark said. "I'll be back, going to take a leak."

Lark got up and left for the bathroom. I sat there alone just looking at my phone. I don't know why but I was still hoping Ryder would call me and ask where I was going. I don't know why though. Maybe because I still had feelings for him that would soon part away from me. But I got nothing at all. I sighed. The waitress came over and asked for the drink orders. Shit, I couldn't get a beer for Lark because I had no I.D so I ended up getting us both orange soda. He can get his beer bottle when she comes back again I guess.

Still no call.

Lark returned on the cell phone with someone and he seemed a little annoyed. He looked at me and said, "Hey, do you have a fifty on you?"

"What!? No!" I yelled. "I don't have a lot on me. Barely forty dollars." I said.

"Alright, damn... Johnny, I'll get back to you." He hung up and put the phone away. "That was this guy I know up in New York. He's got a big bag of 'things' for me and he said if I gave him fifty he'd give it to me at half price."

"What specifically?" I inquired.

Lark leaned inand whispered. "Weed, crack, cigars and some other hard stuff."

"Oh, really?"

"Secret night job." Lark said.

"Interesting." I told him. Damn, I wanted a cigarette now. "Do you think it's okay if I smoke right now?"

"Well not here at the table, but if you go over to the car and smoke that's fine." Lark told me. "I'll order for you."

"Thanks. Grilled cheese with a side of cheesy fries." I said as I got up.

I walked out of the restaurant and went over to the car and pulled a pack out from my pocket and a lighter and lit one of them up. I had one then smoked a second cigarette. I checked my phone again. Still nothing.

I finished the second cigarette and returned back to my seat. Lark ordered our food and we just sat there talking about what we were going to do in New York. Whenever he was free of work and I was free of work we'd go walking around and visit different areas of the city.

* * *

We drove for another several hours and landed in Hazleton, Pennsylvania. We ended up pulling into the Holiday Inn Express and decided to save money and share a room together. We're both adults and can share a bed without being weird about it, right? The room we had was beautiful too. Nice carpet floor and bed with blue bed sheets and whatnot and a large TV facing the bed. We piled our suitecases on the side of the room and plopped on the bed.

"Wanna order out?" I asked him.

"Pizza?"

Extra cheese with bacon." I laughed. I pulled my phone out and looked. No messaged.

"Expecting a call from Minnie?"

"Anyone I guess. I didn't really tell too many people about this thing. Going to New York and all, they'd just harass me about it somehow." I explained.

"Tell Ryder?"

"Yeah." I said with my voicing rising up. Maybe he wouldn't catch on to the lie.

"Cool. I saw some menus in the lobby so I'll go check it out, call and order then go get it. I'll be back in about an hour." Lark said as he rolled off the bed. "Want anything else?"

"Nah, just pizza. Get two large boxes if possible." I suggested.

"Alright. Call you in a while for updates." Lark said as he turned and left. "Later." He said and shut the door.

I laid there for another five minutes before sitting up and turning the TV on. It felt weird to be alone, it's been so long since I've been alone like this. The past couple of months I've been alone physically but knowing someone I loved and cared about was just not with me at the moment. I loved Lark and cared about him, but this loneliness just felt strange. Mom gone, Minnie back home and a heartbroken Ryder back home too feeling all alone and wondering where I was and why I left such a horrible like that. And damn I wanted a cigarette too but I had one left and I was saving that to have before I brushed my teeth for bed. And there were no drugs either. I decided to check Lark's bags and see if there was any beer bottles.

He had a couple in there. They were pretty warm though, but not too warm either. I took one and used the bottle opener he had in the same bag, opened the bottle and took a large gulp of it. I had three more gulps before throwing it in the trash can and grabbing another one to drink while watching TV.

An hour and two more bottles of beer later I felt a little tipsy. Lark came into the room with two boxes of pizza in his arm and asked how many I had to drink. "One...plus three...that's...five?" I giggled.

"Silly." He said settling the pizza down on the bed. "Come on and have a slice, it'll help bring the tipsy side down."

* * *

I had five slices in total, while he had eight slices. I felt just as tipsy as I did; but maybe that was because I was drinking two more bottles of beer while eating the pizza. I'm not even in college and I'm acting like a stereotypical student; Beer and pizza every night for dinner. I laughed hard enough to roll onto my side and holding my stomach just thinking that.

"Silly," Lark said again as he took a sip of his second bottle. "Hey, so about that job I think you can do in New York, I think you're going to like it a lot. You can sing ay time during work and if you are taking a break you have to say Intermission. The girls have these red type dresses with a mini white apron on the front and knee high red boots."

"Red boobs?" I laughed.

"Boots. Shoes. It's called Spotlight Diner. I guess a lot of actors and actresses waiting for that shining moment get to work there. Some Lima kids work there too."

"Yey!" I giggled, not really listening. "I get to sing!"

"Yeah, some guy...shit, I forget their names...hold on let me think." Lark said. He went silent for a couple of minutes before speaking. "Kort, Rochelle, Samantha work there. And some friends of their are going to visit New York for a while... Bane, Ram and Annie?"

"Those are silly names!" I laughed. "Larky, I wanna have weed!"

"Not now, later." He said. "Come on let's watch a movie."

* * *

We watched some weird movie on TV about this boy and his dog being an alien. The boy could then understand the other dogs that he walked too. The poodle and everyone. It was odd. I still remember watching a movie with Ryder once and it was My Dog Skip and we both cried watching that movie.

I miss Ryder.

Before going to bed Lark showered first while I went outside to have another cigarette. I took my time with this cigarette and soon I decided to head back in the room and have my last few drinks of a beer bottle before going to bed.

That last bottle of beer made me drunk as hell. I could barely stand up on my own and when it came to go to bed Lark had to help me walk from one side of the room to where the bed was. I stripped myself of my shirt and shorts and fell asleep almost instantly on the bed as Lark covered me with the bed sheets.

I miss Ryder.


	49. The Expected Phone Call

**Heyyo!**

* * *

**49: The Expected Phone Call.**

I woke up with a major hangover...all I wanted was pizza now. For breakfast. And a large cup of coffee. I sat up blocking the bright sunshine with my hand and rolled out of bed. Literally. Falling to the ground. I heard the bed shuffle and Lark's voice appear above me. "Marley? You okay?"

"Hmmm, yeah." I groaned pushing myself up. I grabbed onto the bed for support and pushed up some more before finally getting the top half of me onto the bed. "My head hurts,"

"Yeah well you kinda drank a little bit last night," Lark mentioned as he rolled out of the bed on the other side. The white shirt and black sweatpants blonde made his way over and helped me up and lay me back on the bed. "It's four in the morning, get some sleep for a while longer okay?"

"Hmmmm, fine...I wanna eat pizza." I muttered as my eyes drifted back to sleep.

Another three hours passed. I woke up with my headache gone, but my stomach about to vomit at any minute. I jumped off the bed and ran into the bathroom and threw up. I threw up five or six times before I felt better and flushed the toilet. I stood up and washed my hands and gazed at my reflection, seeing some dark bags under my eyes and my skin very pale. I shrugged it off and finished washing my hands and left the bathroom. Lark was gone, but a note was on the pillow his head rested on last night.

_**Getting breakfast at I-HOP nearby. Take out. See you around eight.**_

It was seven now, so me must of left minutes before I woke up. I tossed the note away before grabbing my clothes for the day and going to shower.

Leaving the bathroom in fresh clothes; blue shirt with a white skirt, and wet hair tied in a braid, I tossed my clothes into a plastic bag so they wouldn't get my clean clothes dirty. I grabbed my phone and turned it on and after three minutes it came on and began beeping like crazy, meaning I got messages and phone calls during the night.

**10 Missed Calls. Ryder.**

**15 Messages. Ryder.**

Ryder.

He called.

He's been contacting me since 11 last night, half hour after I turned my phone off.

I called back, knowing what the messages were going to say: Where are you? What happen? What's going on? Are you with Lark?

The phone buzzed twice before a panic voice answered. _"MARLEY?"_

"Hi Ryder."

_"Oh thank God..."_ He sounded relief. _"I thought you got kidnapped or something...are you?"_

"Kidnapped?"

_"Yes."_

"No."

_"No?"_

"No."

_"Where the fuck are you?"_

"I'm going to New York. I needed to focus on myself, didn't you get the letter?" I asked.

_"Of course and I thought the kidnapper made you write it. After I thought you were either drunk or high and I went looking for you all over Lima, Cincinnati, Columbus and Westerville. I didn't get home until 11 last night and started to call you. What do you mean 'Focus on myself' Marley? The smoking habit? The drug addiction? You can't do that on your own Marley. It can get dangerous."_

"Ryder I'll be fine. I can do this. I'm a strong enough person to do this." I told him.

_"No. You. Can't! You can't do this alone, you need to be around people! And I mean around good people not people who you think can help you."_

"Well fine! I'll check into one of those rehab places when I get there!" I yelled.

_"There are a couple here in Lima! Come back and check there, at least you'll have friends around to help you out. Please, please come back. Please."_

My voice dried up. I did miss him. But I couldn't go back and hurt him by being in one of those places. It'll hurt him. Tears in my eyes I said, "Bye Ryder."

_"MARLEY—"_

I hung up after that. He kept calling me and calling me but I didn't answer. I just ignored him. I know it hurts, but I have to do this. It's the best.

Why do I feel lousy about it?


	50. New York, New York

**Apartment Building in profile. Though I changed the bedroom a bit.**

* * *

**50: New York, New York.**

Ryder stopped calling an hour and a half later. Lark was surprised at Ryder calling this much. "He's like a puppy, he misses me." I explained. "It'll be fine, he's going to be alright after tomorrow."

We had a two hour drive before landing in New York City. There was this apartment on Hudson street that Lark's friend was letting him stay at during his time in New York. As long as Lark paid for half the electricity and all of the water, we could stay there the whole time. As we entered the city I sat straight up in my seat and gazed out of my opened window. The people roaming around New York were jamming around having extraordinary fun and astonishment. Most people were riding on their feet instead of all the yellow cabs driving around their customers, finding that the word 'Foot Traffic' did indeed exist. The buildings were taller than I ever dreamed of or even expected and the loud, obnoxious noises from cars and everyone shouting across the streets and down the streets made me laugh. Very different than the little city known as Lima in a small state of Ohio.

We drove to Hudson Street that was located in Tribeca, part of lower Manhattan. We arrived at the apartment and grabbed our bags from the trunk and brought them up to the apartment. We opened the door and the living room came in first. It looked real nice with a fancy carpet and artwork that hung on the walls. Two brown couches and a flat screen TV. Walking forward and taking a left at the corner lead to a small kitchen with a fridge, bat table with bar stools, a microwave, coffee machine and brown cabinets. Right to the right was a low brown table with some weird chairs; they looked like giant footrest things to sit on. Down the hall to the right was the bathroom; toilet, sink and shower right there. And at the end of the hall was the bedroom. A low-ish bed with brown bed sheets and pillows, a fan above the bed, two closets—one big, one small. A long brown chest drawer with a TV placed on top in the middle and a standing mirror to the side.

"Johnny said there's a roof deck too for parties and whatever." Lark mentioned. "Party every night."

"Sure." I laughed. "So when do I start work?"

"Tomorrow. Once you get settled in you should head on over to Spotlight and check it out in person and get the uniform there." Lark said. "I'll get my things organized later, I have to head over to the bar and check things out then head to the park and meet up with my new manager and see how things are done. Funny, thought all I did was check bags and purses before letting people inside." He laugh.

After Lark left minutes later I got ready. I didn't need an interview, as I got it quickly due to the references Lark gave for me, but still wanted to dress nice before getting the uniform. I put on my light blue sleeveless denim shirt dress, added a brown belt to my waist and put on my ankle brown boots, grabbed my bag and left the apartment. It took me a few minutes to get a cab but once settled in the cab and telling him where I wanted to go, I was on my way.

* * *

It looked small on the outside but once stepping inside it looked a lot bigger. Still small, but bigger. Tables on the bottom floor and up on a balcony above, a bar to sit at, a jukebox for the music and a stage set for the performers to sing and dance on. This all seemed so magical.

_"You have magic in your voice, Marley."_

I miss Mom.

I sat up front at the bar area and waited for the manager to come out. I know his name is Gunther and he's a pretty old guy with white hair. That's it. I have no idea what Rachel looks like but I know Finn mentioned she worked here during her Funny Girl rehearsals and when she attended school. Yes, attended. As in past tense. She dropped out to be a Broadway Star. I hope she gets a Razzie before a Tony. Stupid bitch..._No, stop with the negative thoughts Marley. You don't know her yet and a lot of famous people dropped out of college and made it big. __Alicia Keys, Ashton Kutcher, Bruce Springteen._

I was lost in my own train of thoughts and staring at the bar table that I didn't hear the waitress' voice speak to me. "Hello, my name is Kurt and I will— Marley?" Oh, shit, it was Kurt. I looked up with wide eyes. "Oh, hi Marley." He said.

"Hey."

"What are you doing here?"

"I got a job here. I'm suppose to meet Gunther."

"Oh, he's out of town for a business meeting. And our second manager, Ronny, went AWOL last night after watching some sports game on TV and he gave a message to Geraldine over there saying he was going to be in hiding for a few weeks. Funny, he doesn't seem like the type to gamble. Must of been big. So Geraldine over there is in charge for now until Gunther returns tomorrow."

I turned when he said Geraldine's name. She was a pretty girl, bright blonde hair with pink streaks and bright gray-blue eyes. Almost like a porcelain doll. I turned back to Kurt. "I didn't know he was out of town."

"Don't worry I heard she's nice." Kurt said. "Blaine and Sam and Artie and Finn are coming too in a few days, they're rooming with Santana and Rachel and I back at our loft. Santana isn't too happy about sharing a room with Sam and Artie but she'll have to deal with it. Oh, do you have a place to stay?"

"Yes, a friend of mine. Lark." I said.

"Lark. Interesting name." Kurt mentioned. "How's the eating since Thanksgiving?" Blaine must of told him.

"Fine." I said. "I'm actually hungry for lunch, what's the best thing on the menu?" I smiled.

I ended up ordering a Grace Kelly burger, a Shirley Temple and a small side of Grace Kelly fries. While the order was taking place I walked up to this Geraldine woman and she finished her phone call. "Stupid husband and his dumb sister with her dumb poodle dog. Yes?" She turned to me with a smile.

"Hi, I'm Marley Rose." I said.

"Oh yeah, Gunner was expecting you. My damn cousin had to go out of town and I got stuck here. I'm a celebrity makeup artist, not a frigging diner manager." She told me. "My only real connection here is that if someone makes it big they're gonna hire me to do their faces. I was born in fifty-two and I look young as hell and I was the one who made Michael Jackson's zombie face for Thriller! They cut my name off and put some other bitches name there. I made his face!" She yelled.

"I...I liked it," I stuttered.

"Follow me." She said.

We walked to the back where she showed me where the employee bathrooms were, five stalls cramped next to one another for men and women, the small break room that could only hold two people and a door in the back that lead to an ally where we dumped the garbage for the night. She said if we didn't want to throw the food out, we could keep it. We could also take breaks out in the back ally. She showed me another door to the basement where material supplies were and then pulled out a uniform for me. A small. She made me try it on and I did. It was too big. She got an extra small and it worked.

Was that good or bad?"

"Alright, when you're in tomorrow I'll have you shadow someone lunch to closing time...you seem to know Kurt well." She said.

"We have mutual friends." I said.

"Alright, I'll send you to him tomorrow. You can sing when you want and just say Intermission for breaks for get fined." Geraldine told me. "Paid every Thursday too."

"Thanks." I said.

"Whatever." She replied.

I sat back down with my three uniforms in my plastic bag in my arms. By the time I sat back down my food was ready. "On the house."

"Seriously?" I asked Kurt.

"One time offer." He laughed. "Geraldine showed you everything?"

"Yes, and she said to follow you around tomorrow."

"I'm not on," Kurt said. "She messed up Rachel and I again. She's always mixing our schedules up."

"Oh, okay." I smiled.

* * *

I arrived back to the apartment hours later; opting to walk back and take my time getting to know this city. When I arrived back by sunset I saw the lights on which meant Lark was home. I walked up and entered inside smelling the fragrance of pizza.

"Hey Marley, I got take out tonight." He said. "Three boxes."

I tossed my stuff on the chair and joined in on the couch grabbing once slice. "How was your day?" I asked.

"Not bad, bar seems nice to work at." He said. "How's the diner?"

"It seems like fun. And the person I'm shadowing with is someone who I'll meet."

"Who?"

"Rachel?"

"The girl Bitch Satan wanted to be and looks up too?"

"Yup."

"Sounds interesting." Lark laughed.

* * *

Later that night in bed Lark was sound asleep. He had to wake up around four to shower, eat something and head out to work long hours at the amusement park. I could sleep in and still have time to get to the place by 5 for dinner until Rachel was too leave at 11.

I wonder how Rachel will be.


	51. Rachel Berry

**I re-worked Rachel's first monologue. So that is why it may look familiar to you.**

* * *

**51: Rachel Berry.**

I woke early in the morning, an hour after Lark left, and got ready for the day. I couldn't go out and eat so I settled on breakfast around the house.

Leftover pizza and coffee.

I sat down watching television and watched the news. Nothing too much.

I told myself to not use Facebook at all this summer. Sign on of course so that it would automatically delete me, but don't check messages. I signed on, waited five minutes by reading an online article about dolphins, then signed off. Nobody tired to contact me. Good.

I dug around a bit and found some cigarettes in the bathroom. I took some and went to the roof deck to have a couple before coming back down to have more pizza for lunch.

Around three I showered, dried my hair and got my uniform on. I took the next bus at 4:15 to get to work and hoped to arrive by five on the dot.

* * *

I entered Spotlight Diner and still remembered how magical it looked from yesterday. It was still magical. Not as many people as I thought there would be but still a lot. I looked around for Rachel, looking at all the name tags that I could read, and couldn't find her. I felt my stomach turn upside down until I felt a tap behind me. I turned and saw this girl about my height with long brown hair, brown eyes and a perky smile on her face.

"Hi my name is Rachel Berry and I'll be your hostess for the evening." She said.

So this is Rachel. She was pretty, really pretty. "I'm Marley Rose, but I'm work—"

"I can tell you are working here, you are in uniform," She laughed. "One of my Funny Girl co-stars tells me to introduce myself to every person I will be working with and make myself sound like a real star. Not obviously I wouldn't say that, or this, but since we might star together in a Woody Allan movie I figure I let you know my new trick to get fame and my name on the Hollywood Walk and a Tony."

"Sounds great, but I'm more of a ra—"

"You might laugh because every time I sign my name I put a gold star after it, but it's a metaphor. And metaphors are important. My gold stars are a metaphor. For me. Being a star. I am a star. I'm such a big star that the sun is jealous of me—"

"Corny line." I laughed.

She looked taken back that I spoke but continued. " See I was born out of love. My two dads searched for potential surrogates based on beauty and IQ. Then they mixed their sperm together using a turkey baster. To this day, we still don't know which one is my real dad, which I think is pretty amazing. My dads spoiled me in the arts. I was getting dance lessons, vocal lessons..._**ANYTHING**_ to give me a competitive edge. You might think that all the boys in school would totally want to tap this, but my MySpace and Facebook ans Twitter schedule keeps me way too busy to date. I try to post a video every day just to keep my talent alive and growing. Nowadays, being anonymous is worse than being poor. Fame is the most important thing in our culture now, and if there's one thing I've learned, it's that no one's going to just hand it to you."

Wow...she's into herself. A lot. No wonder why Tina wants to be like Rachel and worships her. Quickly my first thought was, "Shirley Temple's mom use to play music and sing and dance when she was pregnant with Shirley and most people have stated that's a big motion to Shirley loving to act since she was eight months old."

"Yes, that's possible. How's McKinley?" She asked me.

"Oh, fine." I said. "Tina was a big bitch this year."

"Senior Fever. Happens to everyone." Rachel said. "Especially to us Broadway Beauties."

"Radio." I said. "I don't want to go to Broadway, just sing on the radio." I said.

"Oh..." She said, surprised by that comment. "Well everyone who starts in radio ends up on Broadway, so we can still star in that Woody movie." She said. "Come on, I'll show you everything there is to know."

* * *

I arrived home that night. When I got back Lark had finished making some sort of spaghetti and alfrado meal with garlic bread. "You look like shit."

"I feel like shit."

"How was Spotlight?"

"I worked with Rachel."

"How was that?" He asked.

I worked from five to eleven when Rachel left. Six hours. Six, long hours. Six long, painful hours. Six long, painful fucking hours. Rachel...is a fucking nightmare!" I yelled.

"Like Coach Sue nightmare, Kitty nightmare, Bree nightmare or Bitch Satan?"

"I don't know! Rachel never stopped talking. Does she have the ability to speak without taking a breath? Dose she had a built in oxygen tank!? And she kept telling me every five seconds about her stupid Funny Girl show and how awesome it is! And when it wasn't that it was about how she wanted me to join her in some fucking Woody Allan movie and if it wasn't that it was about some other stuff like audition processes and schools and how she loved when she dropped out of school because she has big potential now to make her dreams come true of being Barbra Streisand or whatever her name is! I don't even know how to spell her name, is it B-A-R-B-A-R-A or did she drop one of the damn 'A's in her name!? And another thing about Rachel that I know since school and didn't really know how annoying it was until tonight; she likes to sing and get every solo! That girl can act out all the parts in some upbeat musical version of Romeo and Juliet! Which she might do if it happened because as she says. 'Every star need to take challenges and fight for the right to get a part!' She wanted me to go to NYADA and sing some song she auditioned with and do you know how much she bitched at me when I said I was sorry that her ass got rejected by Carmen What's Her Face when Rachel messed up on that Rain On My Parade song? I just said I was sorry it happened and she bitched at me asking who told me and I said Finn, so Finn is gonna get his ass kicked by Rachel when she sees him because she wanted that to be a secret because she's afraid Ms. Streisand herself is going to hear about it and sue Rachel for choking up one of her most famous songs. OH and my favorite part is when she started to talk to me about the throwing up and being bulimic thing and how wrong it is for any star to be like that! TEN BUCKS SHE TRIED THROWING UP HERSELF AT SOME POINT! OH NO! SHE WAS TOO BUSY TRYING TO FUCK FINN SO SHE COULD PLAY THE ROLE OF MARIA!? I can't believe she wanted her first time to be only for a fucking character. I didn't smoke until after Sandy but I sure wouldn't try anything like that to get a role! Ryder didn't go around fucking girls like Danny probably did after Sandy left and before he got back to the school. But Rachel wanted to fuck Finn for that!? That's...disgusting! Oh and when she heard I was bulimic she said I can have her food breaks...you don't say that to someone! I told her I was recovered and better and she was acting like I was still anorexic bulimic! She is a big fucking pain in the ass and I have to work with that girl again TOMORROW NIGHT!"

Lark stayed silent. Wide eyed, mouth lightly opened. He'd never seen...oh wait, the pregnancy scare. Well still he never sees this side so much of me so I pretty much gave him a reason to say, "I know you're quitting, but want a cigarette to cool down?"

* * *

We sat on the roof deck with a table and chairs Lark bought on his way home. He planned to get more so we could have friends come over and eat with us up there. The view was quiet lovely at night.

"Feel better?" He asked.

I nodded. I threw my cigarette on the ground and stepped on it. I then picked my fork up and twirled it on the spaghetti and placed it in my mouth.

"So if I don't see you home Saturday night and I read in the newspaper on Sunday about a murder at Spotlight Diner, I shouldn't worry?" He laughed.

"Get the bail money and let's start a story that I didn't take medication like I should for the past three months." I laughed.

* * *

Later that night Lark was asleep. I stayed up watching TV, man could that guy sleep through TV, and settled on a _Friends _episode.


	52. Wednesday Night Horrors

**I re-worked Rachel's first monologue. So that is why it may look familiar to you.**

* * *

**52: Wednesday Night Horrors.**

I loved working at Spotlight Diner. I worked Monday to Friday, two in the afternoon until ten at night. I loved seeing customers smiling faces and I loved how sometimes if it were possible for a child's meal; to make it look more appealing. One time I hard to work a morning shift, six to one, and with a child's pancake order of two pancakes, bacon and eggs I made a smiley face for them. I liked a lot of the customers too. Kurt pointed out directors and producers and casting directors and musical theater casters. Basically everyone in the entertainment business. Kurt was nice enough to tell me a little bit of each person if I had them as a customer and what work they created was my favorite. (I guess kissing up too them was fine here, but outside of the diner being a ass-kisser wasn't proper). I had one customer who tried giving me a hard time and Santana, whom I remember from Thanksgiving, helped me out by doing a lighter version of going Lima Heights Adjacent on the customer. Again I know little about Santana because other than the once dance practice where she went through my backpack, she honestly spent most of her time with Brittany catching up together.

Then there's Rachel.

I've never thought about physically hurting someone. Other than Connie, who has disappeared from the Earth since her last e-mail to me back in...I don't even know when. All I know is that I had the confidence to changed my name back to the original spelling. Marley Rose. But back to the point; Rachel was someone who I wanted to shove a shovel up her ass and throw her like a football across a fifty seven yard line (if that makes any sense). How did everyone handle her in school? How was she not brutally murdered by Santana in high school? Santana seemed like O.J Simpson; all evidence points to her and yet gets away with the murder. God I wanted to shove that shovel up Rachel's ass hard enough to make her cry in pain and stop being annoying.

I worked with her Saturday night and Monday night. The other nights were Kurt. Thank God. The only sane person.

* * *

Wednesday I was working my last table for the night before leaving for the night. When Dani, another worker here and one of Santana's ex's, pointed to the table. I turned around and grinned ear to ear. Blaine, Sam, Finn and Artie were at my table. Quickly I grabbed the menus and walked over to them. As as I got closer I felt my heart racing quickly.

"Hi, Welcome to Spotlight Diner." I smiled.

They were shocked. "Marley?" Sam spoke first.

"Hi guys." I smiled. "I got a job here in New York, it's a long story. But just for the summer and I'm staying with a friend from back in Lima." I explained.

They all looked at me closely, studying my face and eyeing me up and down. "What?" I asked.

"You're face looks different." Artie pointed out. "It's like, wrinkles."

"Oh, I've been working non-stop since I got here almost a week ago and I've been having trouble sleeping." I said. Handing them the menus I said, "I'll be back in a few minutes for drinks and orders."

* * *

I left them to speak among themselves. I saw Kurt with the one girl about my age with a baby in her arms, ordering food. There were several more bags at the table so I assumed the girl was with friends. Kurt walked away and following behind him to check on another table I was soon stopped.

"Mary Jane." Her voice wasn't new to me. I know her voice too well.

Connie.

I turned and saw that beautiful but horrible bitch blonde. She looked the same as the last time I had seen her. A baby though?

"Connie?"

"Oh look Sydney," She looked down into the baby sleeping in her arms. "Mommy found a drug addict slut waitress."

"Excuse me?" I said. "At least I didn't cyber harass people."

"Oh please I had a kick out of it Mary Jane." Connie told me. "Besides after a while with my pregnancy going along I got annoyed and bored. So that's why I never came to Loser Lima. So, sleeping with a movie director to get a role?"

"No, I work here for my own good."

"Poor ass baby." She said carelessly putting her daughter into a carrier. "Still into your Daddy's drugs?"

"No, he's been out of my life since he went to prison. You should know since your father is a cop." I told her.

"Poor you. Daddy in jail and Mommy ate too much crap and died." She said. "I read the obituaries. I like to see if you overdosed on something one of these days." She told me. "Or did Mommy Obese die of corn syrup overdose?"

That...BITCH! I kept my temper down as long as I could and held it in. "Constance Elisabeth van Dauchen, do not speak of my mother when she is not here to say something back."

"Like that Truck Load could speak, can't breathe because her lungs are filled with gravy." Connie said. "And it's Connie, not Constance."

"It's whatever I choose to call you,"

"Keep talking and I'll find the manager."

"You lucky your ass I'm not your waitress. I'd give you three full boxes of rat poison in your food order." I told her. "And what are you doing here in New York?"

"Moved. I wanted to give Sydney a better life than Ohio. So I decided to go to New York City. I live in Brooklyn now though." She said. "Then one day I'll be an EGOT winner and you'll still be slaving away here."

"You've never met Rachel Berry, have you?" I asked.

"Who?"

"Holy shit, never heard of that girl? Ms. Streisand met Rachel Berry once and when Rachel sand Don't Rain on my Parade, Ms. Streisand wanted Rachel's autograph." I told her.

"Liar." She told me.

"Marley Rose, me, a liar?" I asked her.

She looked at me up and down before rolling her eyes away. "Good point. But I will make it through the world of Broadway once I get into my dream college. New York Academy of Dramatic Arts. NYADA for short."

"Rachel attended. But like a super genius she is, she got bored and dropped out and is now on Broadway." I told Connie. "She's working with Paolo San Paolo and Rupert Campion."

Damn did that shut her up. I don't know who these guys are but she turned back and rolled her eyes. "They're just getting fucked by this Berry for the role, once they're bored with this Berry they're want another girls berry juice."

"Ugh, that's a disgusting comparison!" I yelled. "Gross, keep your sexual life to yourself and keep your legs closed!"

"Where is your manager!?" Connie yelled. "Where is your manager!"

I rolled my eyes walking away. Bitch.

* * *

I got back to the guys, who had seen the scene, and were surprised. They never thought I would do that, or have the confidence. "I've been growing my confidence out." I told them boldly. "Is that it?"

They nodded. I left to give the order and get the drinks. I saw Connie leaving with her friends, Sydney in her carrier in Connie's arms, and Connie left with a smirk. I rolled my eyes and handed the paper over to the one of the chefs.

"Marley, back room now." Gunther called me.

We talked for about twenty minutes. He wasn't pleased with my behavior, but was giving me another shot. As long as I didn't cause any more commotions I would be fine.

I left his office, saying intermission, and went into the back ally. I pulled out of my boots a cigarette and a lighter and had a cigarette before going back inside and getting the food.

I brought the food over and handed them out. The guys thanks me and then I notice Finn made a face. A gross one. But shrugged it off as he bit into his burger. Artie asked, "Are you okay? You're still working here right?"

"Yes. Just have to watch myself when that person is around." I said.

* * *

Half hour later just as my shift was ending the guys were getting ready to leave. They left me a pretty nice tip; twenty dollars. They all left and soon after cleaning the table and bringing the plates into the back kitchen and went to use the bathroom.

I left the diner and started walking to the bus stop when I heard Finn call my name. "Marley!"

"Finn?"

He came running up. "Hey, I was waiting for you to finish." He said. "Marley, what happened?"

"With Connie?"

"No, smoking. I can still smell it. You smoked after the whole Connie thing," Finn said. "Marley you need to stop."

"I'm fine, I'm quitting. I just had a bad night." I said.

"Think of your Mom." Finn said. "She'd want you to stop right now."

I turned and walked away. I didn't want to talk about Mom. After all the insults Connie said about Mom I had no reason to talk about Mom now. It still hurts when I think of Mom.

"I'm sorry," Finn said when he realized how I was feeling. "But, Marley—" I kept walking. "Marley stop," He forced me to stop. He turned me to face a store window. "Look. Look at yourself. You're face is wrinkled because of the smoking. It's getting bad."

"Finn it's two lines on me forehead and they're small." I said. I knew what the fuck I looked like. "I'm fine. Really." I told him.

"Marley Rose, stop saying that. You're not fine. You're...you're sick!" He said. "Where's Ryder?"

"With his parents on vacation." I lied. "They're on a cruise."

"When are they coming back?"

"They're on for another two weeks and then he's going with his grandparents to Ireland for a month." I said.

"When he comes back to Lima I'm getting him here ASAP to come help. You're the only person who'll listen to him, I know." Finn said. "Do you want a ride?"

I nodded. The bus was twenty minutes away anyways.

* * *

The guys dropped me off at the apartment and asked who I was with. I lied and said one of my old foster sisters. Once I was inside they drove off.

Inside Lark was asleep on the couch. I smiled looking at the fatigued boy. I threw a blanket over him and tucked him in before going into the kitchen to get food.

I saw he left a bag on the counter. I looked in and saw cigarettes and some weed. I saw a note on the cigarette box.

**Unless tonight is your last night, take some.**

I took some cigarettes and some weed and went on the roof deck.

* * *

**Okay last upload for the night. Won't be able to upload again until at least Friday. And with Thanksgiving coming up soon, I want to wish all who celebrate it.**

**Happy Thanksgiving!**


	53. Night Clubbing Dinosaur's

**I apologize if this chapter sucks. I had minor mistakes in the first upload of this chapter, so I deleted it and fixed the errors.**

* * *

**53\. Night Clubbing Dinosaur's.**

I felt someone shaking me the next morning. I remember falling asleep on the couch after getting high and smoking some cigarettes. I found the face as Lark's face.

"Marley?" He shook me gently. "Marley?"

"Hmmm?"

"Did you take some of the weed from the bag with the cigarettes?" He asked.

"Hmmm?"

"The weed! Did you take some!?" He yelled.

"Don't yell at me!" I screamed. "Yes, I did, so?"

"Fuck... I meant the cigarette only! Not the weed." Lark said. "That was for tonight. I was hitting a club with this stuff to get money."

"Ugh, sorry!" I screamed.

"It's fine, whatever." Lark said. "Next time just wake me up and ask if you can take some, fine?"

"Fine." I muttered.

"How was your night?" He asked rubbing my back. "Rough night?"

"Fucking Connie was there," I said as I went onto my back. "She got me in trouble with my boss and I think she's going to keep coming and harassing me a lot and get me fired...and I like that job."

"Eh, maybe the bitch will back off."

"She has a daughter too. Sydney."

"Oh, you see, you don't have a kid." Lark smiled.

"No, but that one night gave a pregnancy scare." I muttered.

"I still don't think we did anything," Lark told me. "You have tonight off?"

"At seven." I said.

" I find some place for us to go party at?" He suggested. "Hit it up all night with some friends of mine and sell my business drugs."

"Sure," I smiled. "Sounds like fun."

"Cool." He said as he stood up. "Gonna go out and get some things, going back to sleep?"

I nodded. "Another hour." I said to him.

* * *

I got up an hour later. I ate some toast watching the news, signed on quickly to facebook and then signed off seconds later, and then showered before dressing in my uniform and staying inside for another hour or two.

I missed Lima.

The sights were beautiful.

I miss Ryder.

I got a text from Lark. He found a place for us to party later at. It was called _Paradise Village Night Club _, or _Paradise Village _, for short. It was mainly a dancing nightclub with a dance floor and DJ and lots of lights in different colors going off and lots of other things. It sounded like perfect fun too. I sent him a smiley face.

I decided to pick out some club-like clothes now so that when I got home I could shower and dress without wasting more time. I began going through all my clothes to find something nice to wear. Nothing too modest, but nothing like something Santana would wear. As she began going through the clothes her memories flashed back to school.

* * *

_"Hey Marley," Sam came up to me. "Marley, good news."_

_"What?"_

_"So Finn's Mom is taking him clothes shopping and she said she'd get some new things for me too."_

_"Okay," Marley said. She didn't know where he was going with this._

_"Well Finn and I were talking about Glee club and mentioned you and she'd like to meet you and what's a perfect way than clothes shopping?" Sam smiled._

_"I don't have much money and my Mom needs it for—"_

_"It's on Carol."_

_"Finn's Mom?"_

_"Yep."_

_"I couldn't. I don't want her to pay for...why doesn't Finn go shopping?"_

_"Last time he went he got the wrong sizes or something like that I guess. But Carol said she wouldn't mind getting a dress, some pants or skirts and two tops. She can spare it. She's really awesome like that."_

* * *

I attempted to get out of it but Sam and Finn dragged me along. I met Carol and she was very nice too me and wouldn't take 'no' when she got me clothes I liked. Nor would she let me pay her back. After that whenever she went out with Finn and Sam to get clothes or whatever she'd have me tag along. We did it a few times after Mom died too and I remember once she said to me that if I ever needed to talk to a mother about anything, she was right here for me. She was like a second mother to me so of course I would talk to her if I had a problem.

I wished I talked to her when I cheated on Ryder.

I ended up pulling out this white lace crop top with short sleeves, a black mini skirt and some black strap heels. That would seem to do.

* * *

Work went fine. No Connie, no problems. I got home and ran to shower quickly as Lark watched TV smoking a cigarette.

I dried my hair, applied my makeup (soft makeup) and dressed quickly. I left the bedroom and met Lark in the kitchen. "Ready."

He turned from the sink and smiled. "Hey, where the fuck is innocent modest Marley?"

"Shut up." I smiled.

"Let's get going." He smiled.

* * *

We arrived at the club. It was like every other regular nightclub. Loud music, people everywhere, bright lights shined by a disco ball, a DJ playing music. Lark and I got inside, sneaking in the back as I had no I.D, and grabbed a table. "Want a drink?" He yelled. I nodded. "Be right back."

He got up and left for the bar. I sat there alone listening to the music and watching everyone dancing. Hips shaking, lots of private parts dancing, grinding, twerking and things that just looked like people were screwing each other on the floor. I laughed.

Lark returned with a glass of water...I think. "Water?"

"Of course, unless you wanted something hard."

"Sex on beach, I think it's called!" I laughed. "I've wanted to try that."

"Next time." He smiled.

I drank down my water quickly then got up with Lark, who also chugged his drink down, and we got on the dance floor. We danced like we did at the high school; holding hands and spinning around. Not grinding. We were having the time of our lives together dancing.

* * *

Hours later and four Sex on the Beach drinks later I felt dizzy. I could still comprehend where I was and what was happening, but I felt like going home. I found a drunk Lark sleeping on the table. "Larky?" I shook him.

"Hi...Mommy..." He woke up. "Er...Marls..."

"Wanna go home?" I asked. "I sleepy."

"Yeah, yeah...we walk?" He asked. I nodded. "good, I no wanna murder baby dinosaur in carriage."

We stumbled a bit as we left the club. Nobody asked about my age or whatever as it was busy outside and people were trying to get in by bribing the guys at front. We managed to get down the street and start walking home, with me carrying Lark half the time.

We reached the apartment. We entered inside and I locked the door behind us. I helped Lark to the couch and pushed him on it. "Got a ciggy?"

"No smoke?"

"Soon." I said.

He pointed to his left pocket. I reached in and took a lighter and a stick. I lit it up and sat on the couch smoking while Lark mumbled about baby dinosaur's rising from the dead and some Harry Potter shit. When I finished my cigarette I stumbled to the kitchen and ran it under cold water before leaving it in the sink. Assuming Lark was going to fall asleep on the couch I guided my slight-drunk body down to the bedroom and entered inside.

I took my shoes off and tossed them in some random directions before slipping out of my dress; leaving me in my white bra and white underwear. I crawled in bed, not caring that I was on top of the top bed cover, and turned the light off.

A minute or two before I hit sleep I heard the door open and a voice perk in. "Rawrly?" Lark asked.

"Larky." I groaned out.

I heard him shuffle his way in before stopping at the bed. I heard shoes being pulled off and what sounded like a belt being undone. "No sexy time."

"No sexy time, sleepy time. Dino Lark sleepy." He laughed. A minute or two later I heard him get on top of the bed and find a position to sleep in. "Night night Dino Rawrly."

"Night Larky." I muttered.

* * *

**Sucky chapter I know, but had to get Marley into the club scene sooner or later.**


	54. Night Clubbing Dinosaurs Part II

**I apologize if this chapter sucks. I had minor mistakes in the first upload of this chapter, so I deleted it and fixed the errors.**

* * *

**54\. Night Clubbing Dinosaurs. Part II.**

I woke up to a hangover. It hurt a little bit but I felt like if I drank water and puked I would feel a lot better. But I was so lazy to get up. I decided to wait a couple of minutes before getting up to do so. I remember last night a little bit.

I rolled over to find Lark still asleep in his plaid boxers only. I held back a giggle. How did we end up like this?

I had the energy to get up and stumble into the bathroom. I tossed my hair up in a tall, messy bun and started to get myself better. I vomited then drank some water, vomited again, drank water, then did it all for a third time. When I finished I left the bathroom to make breakfast for myself. I had a waffle craving so I pulled out the waffle maker and pulled out the batter mix materials and soon enough I was mixing the batter.

During the mixing I heard Lark coming down the hallway and walked in still wearing his plaid boxers. "Pancakes?"

"Waffles." I said with a smile. "Want some?"

He nodded slowly. I turned away but still felt him looking at me. I felt his eyes following my arms moving and soon his eyes shifted up and down, gazing at certain parts for longer time periods than others. For a small joke I held up the middle finger to him. He laughed.

I made two waffles for me and two for him. Lark was nice enough to pull out the milk, two tall glasses, butter and syrup and set them on the table. I turned the machine off and brought over the plates to the counter.

"Thanks." He said.

"Sure." I told him.

We sat in silence for a couple of minutes before I spoke up. "Last night was fun."

"Sure was. I also made two hundred dollars." He added. "Want to join in?"

"No thanks, I'm good." I said to him. "Can we go to another club tonight?" I asked him.

He looked over at me surprised. "Well sure, but aren't you quitting all the habits?"

I shook my head. I realized...I liked it too much to stop. Like singing. "No, I-I can't stop. I like it too much." I said with a sad voice.

"Don't be sad."

"I just like it."

"I know." Lark said. "Paradise Village again?" I nodded. "Cool. You work?"

"Until nine." I said.

"Alright, we're going out by ten then?"

"Okay."

"Great," He said.

* * *

A while later before he left for something and I finished showering, I was walking to the room when he stopped me and handed me half of what he earned. I didn't want to take it, but he wouldn't let me not take it. "Don't worry, I like sharing."

_So does Ry... Nope, stop thinking like that Marley._

There was this close-by store near the apartment that I passed the other day. They had some nice night-club dresses for good prices so I decided to go inside and get some night-club dresses. I only got a couple of them that were a little passed my thighs. Some both long sleeve, some with one long sleeve and the other a bare shoulder or skinny strap, three leopard printed, some plain tops with attached skirts and the last dress strapless with a navy blue sequin top and an attached high waist black skirt. I loved it the best.

I got home and pulled out the hot pink tank top with the black mini-skirt attached to it. I pulled out a pair of black tights and grabbed my shoes and placed them together so that when I got home and finished showering I could get dressed quickly.

* * *

I got to work a little late but not too much. I saw some friends at one of my tables and walked over to them with a smile. "Hey Sam, Blaine, Finn."

"Hey, you're still here." Sam said.

"Sure." I told them. "I'm working until nine and then going to a club with a friend."

"Damn yo, Marley's breaking out of the cage." Artie said. "But a club? Aren't you a little young for that?"

"No, I went last night and had a blast." I smiled. "Paradise Village. It'll be fun."

"Uh, sure." Finn agreed. "I guess Rachel and Kurt could come too."

"Great." I smiled. _Great, that Big Mouth is coming..._

* * *

An hour after work ended and I had showered, dried my hair and got dressed I met up with Lark in the living room. He had just started a cigarette so he handed one to me too to join along. I took it and smoked with him. "I invited some friends."

"Okay." He said. "Nice do."

"Thank you," I said as I adjusted my slightly curled hair so some of it was behind me. I blew a puff and said, "Can you get some more for me?"

"No need too." Lark said to me. I looked at him confused. "I took your school I.D from this year and handed to a friend this morning who made this for you," He reached into his pocket and pulled out a plastic card. "Your very own I.D."

I took the card and examined it. It did look authentic and real.

_Marley J. Rose_  
_New York, New York._  
_DOB: 05 - 18 - 1990_  
_Issued: 05 - 15 - 2011_  
_Expires: 05 - 18 - 2015_

At least most of the basics were fake. "Thanks." I said.

"No problem," He finished his cigarette. "Ready?"


	55. Night Clubbing Dinosaurs Part III

**Happy Thanksgiving!**

* * *

**55\. Night Clubbing Dinosaurs. Part III.**

We arrived at the club and instantly we went over to the bar to get some drinks before sitting at a table. Lark got a beer bottle and I ordered some wine that was apple cider flavored. When it eventually came I sipped it and found it to taste exactly like regular apple cider. I started to chug it down, but Lark took it from my hands. "Eat some crackers first," He said. "It'll slow down the drinking. I don't wanna have to leave in a half hour from a drunk Marley Rose!" He laughed.

"Ha! Ha! Ha!" I laughed.

We sat and got some crackers in these baskets. Lark got up to do both bathroom business and "personal business." I just sat there waiting and sipping my drink.

Maybe an hour went by and I was on my fourth glass when I got a text from Sam.

_Hwo'd you get in?_

**_Fake I.D_**

_Damn, we'll be in in about 10 minutes._

**_Okay._**

I waited and ten minutes later I saw the guys walking into the club. Quickly I handed my empty glasses to an oncoming waiter, keeping my fifth drink with me, and waved them over. They came over quickly.

"Damn, Marley broken out of the cage yo." Artie stated as he came to a stop. "Nice clothes."

"Thanks." I said.

"Marley, what is that?" Finn asked as he pointed to my glass. "If that's wine I'm taking you home right now."

"Apple cider!" I answered. "These are the only glasses they have."

"Fine. That's good." Finn said. "Where's your friend?"

"He's off trying to find a bathroom to use." I told him. "Want crackers?"

"Nah, I'm hitting the dance floor. Come on Artie," Sam said as he took the handles of Artie's chair and they both went to the dance floor. Artie seemed excited. Blaine went off to find some food, leaving Finn and I alone.

"You're old enough to drink, right?" I asked him.

"No, in a few months I will. August." Finn said. "But I'll probably still be the driver of the group."

"Oh."

"Hey Marley," Finn came closer to me in his chair. "I spoke to Ryder this morning. Didn't you tell him anything about New York?"

"I did...vaguely." I answered. "I needed space to rid some...some habits." I said in a tone that Finn understood what it meant. "Why?"

"He sounded super depressed. I asked how things were and he said he hasn't done much since the graduation and when I asked why, he said there was nothing fun to do in Lima. He mentioned you were here for some silly reason." I rolled my eyes. "He said he wanted you to come home soon. He'll help with whatever he can help with."

"No he can't." I said.

"Well I told him I saw you once at the diner and that you smelled like a cigarette—"

"You what!?" I screamed.

"He asked me!" Finn yelled. "I'm not lying to him! He wanted me to keep an eye on you," Finn said.

"I'm old enough to care for myself." I said. "I don't need his help."

"I'm here for you." Finn's hand touched mine. "Always."

I smiled and winked. I didn't need help though.

I can do good, all on my own.

* * *

Later during the night I was alone in the bathroom smoking a second cigarette. I pulled it off when I left by declaring the girls in the bathroom were smoking and blowing the smoke outside of the stalls. They bought it. Lark hadn't returned from business either. Strange.

I danced a little bit with the guys then on my own for a while. With eight glasses of apple cider I'm surprised I wasn't too buzzed out yet. Just a little tipsy.

I went back to the bathroom to have a third cigarette, then gave fifty dollars to a girl who had a weed joint with her. I smoked that as well and left the bathroom a while later.

I made it halfway to the floor when I felt someone grab my shoulder. I turned to see Finn. "Finny?"

"Let's go." He said as he began dragging me out. "We're going?"

"Ever one?"

"At least just you and me." Finn sounded angry. "We're going right now."

"Finny!" I whined.

"You're high, you've been smoking cigarettes all night and your tipsy. Three more drinks and you'll be drunk." Finn said. "Let's go."

"No Finny, I stay." I demanded. "I leave with my friend."

"Text them." Finn said. "Let's go now."

"Finny, I stay."

"Marley Jane, we're going home!" He yelled in frustration.

No. He did not just call me Marley Jane! He didn't call me Marley Jane. I pulled away from his grip and sucker punched him in the face, causing a scene with him falling and some people around us looking at us.

"No name calling!" I yelled before walking away and out of the club.

* * *

I got back to the apartment and tossed everything down on the floor. Stupid Finn. Judging me. Being a Connie and calling me Marley Jane, a form of Mary Jane, a weed addict. I am not.

I sat on the couch smoking another cigarette.

_**It's Lark, where r u?**_

_Home. Mean people._

Not too long after I sent him that, Lark came home.

"Hey, what about mean people?"

"Finny mean, call me Marley Jane." I said. Lark laughed. "What!?"

"Well your name is Marley and Jane is your middle name," Lark said. "Got another butt?"

I pulled out a cigarette and handed it to him. "I no Marley Jane...I was fine."

"As long as you're safe and don't get into trouble, do whatever pleases you." Lark said. "Let people judge. Not everyone judges."

I rolled my eyes as I finished my cigarette and tossed the empty thing into a glass of water settled on the table. Not everyone judges? Funny. It seems like everyone in my life judges me for everything I have ever done or have never done. Having a drug father, telling me I'd become my mother's weight when I got older, being a druggie and smoking cigarette addict when I got older. Becoming a Marley Jane, as I was called. Always asking if I was going to pass out at every important event too. Fucking everyone had a word to say to me about everything.

Except Lark.

Lark never judged me. He still never judges me. Sure he's probably seen me lie to people and is annoyed with that, but Lark never judges me. He is supportive of whatever choices I want to make. He didn't make me smoke, I wanted too. It felt great so I continued. He didn't make me smoke weed, I wanted too. He didn't make me drink, I wanted too. All of it was my choice and he was the only person to ever really be okay with that. He's always been like that since we met back in November, eight months ago.

Lark sat next to me finishing his cigarette and then tossing it in he water glass. "Eh, work tomorrow night. It sucks. Oh but hey sorry I wasn't there all night I ended up going into the club basement and selling a lot of things. Six hundred tonight." He told me.

"Larky?"

"I'm going out after work tomorrow night to get a couple of weed bags and stuff." Lark said. "Maybe some beer bottles too and what not."

"Larky?"

"Damn, I need a vacation."

"Larky!"

"Yes?" He turned to me.

I leaned in and kissed him on the lips. His mouth taste like beer and cigarette, but delicious. Neither of us pulled away, I felt him pull me onto his lap and then hold me while my arms wrapped around his neck. Still neither of us wanted to break away. It was a hot, three minute make-out before pulling out but keeping close together. "Your mother taste awesome." I muttered.

"Rawrly the Dinosaur and Dino Lark." Lark laughed.


	56. Truth or Dare?

**Hey!**

**So this is a very M chapter!**

* * *

**56\. Truth or Dare?**

A week flew by very quickly and it had all it's ups and down.

Downs.

Work got harder. First I kept coming late because of catching a late bus, because I was up all night smoking and drinking, and then get to work at least five minutes late. That and with more tourist visiting and more word of the diner coming about, tourist were coming and going like crazy. I never got a break even if I yelled intermission, because there were too many people in the diner. Wednesday I worked a straight fifteen hours and that was only because I had to cover someone who helped open the place at 4 AM. By the time I finished I went home and slept while Lark rubbed my feet, or I slept if I was home alone. Oh and by "coincident" Connie kept showing up with her friends and made sure to get a table that was in my section. I swear to God I was going to put rat poison in her food if she kept pissing me off. She tried to get me in trouble by calling me crack baby, Mary Jane, pre-future obese bozo the clown at the future Freak Show, tell me that I got her order wrong, put her own blonde hair in the food and declared it as my own brown hair. That was the only time Gunther told Connie to stop messing around to get free food. Oh my God and when I did get a break I went into the ally and smoked. She made me have five sticks before going back to finish my shift. Gunther warned me if this happened again next week I could say goodbye to my uniform.

I wouldn't blame him. This would be my fault.

Finn kept calling me and asking if I was okay, wanting reports from Kurt, Rachel and Santana from work. I can't control what say could say so I did the best as I could. I had this bad feeling Finn was talking to Ryder.

I miss Ryder. I miss his smile, his eyes, his kindness, his laughter...the sex.

He'd probably feel like shit when he found out Lark and I had a thing going on.

That's when the good came in.

I'm not sure if what we had was a Friends With Benefits type of thing, since there was no sex and we both cared a lot about each other, but we did constantly hang out together in the apartment in _our underwear only_. Anytime either of us came home and we know we were going to be alone, we would strip down to our underwear and stay like that for the rest of the night. Unless we decided to go to a club; than go clubbing and strip down when we got home. Sometimes when we played Strip Monopoly it got insane because neither of us wanted to go fully naked, so we had to make-out for a couple of minutes. Hot and steamy making out.

* * *

It was Friday night. Neither of us had work so we stayed in all day, after breakfast, getting high and smoking cigarettes. We stayed in our clothes from breakfast so it wasn't too much.

"Rawrly? Truth or dare?"

"Are we old, Larky?" I asked, blowing a puff out.

"Truth or dare!" He yelled.

"Trust...no...trusty...no...truth?" I questioned.

"If you were the opposite sex for a day, what would you do?" He smirked.

I laughed. "Look at myself nakey and do things," I laughed. "Truth or dare?"

"Truth." He said.

"If you could have a threesome with me and someone else, who would you choose?"

"Oh damn...hmmmm... Older lady or our ages?"

"Either."

"Damn... I don't know... I guess," He took another weed blow. "Kate Middleton."

"Katie!?" I laughed. "Really?"

"Well either her or William, but William might be bigger than me..." Lark smirked. "More boobies for Lark. Truth or dare?"

"Dare."

"Go flash out that window," He pointed to a window that showed out to the street. "Flash for ten seconds."

I giggled as I got up from the floor and walked over to the window. I opened it and stuck half my body out before pulling up my shirt and my bra, flashing my breasts out the window. Some college guys walking by whistled at me and made motions with their hands that indicated they wanted to touch my breasts. I laughed as I shook my chest out the window for them. After a couple of seconds I waved goodbye to them, put my bra and top down, leaned in and shut the window. A couple of them asked me to come out and continue the show, but they soon parted from the apartment. I went back to Lark who was cracking up on the ground.

"I say flash and you give show!" He said. "Those guys 'member forever."

"I know!" I said. "Nobody seen me...just Ry-Ry." I laughed. "Truth or dare?"

"Truth."

"Chicken. Okay...hmmm...When was the last time your masturbated?"

"Oh shit... Uh...morning...you and Kate Middleton sucking my balls...Kate go bye...so just us...but you look like cartoon character..." He laughed. I felt myself blush. "Truth or dare?"

"Truth."

"Have you ever had a same-sex experience? How was it?" He asked.

"Never...but I...no telly... I wanna see Britt-Britt's boobs once... I did...cat...cat cleaning...funny." I laughed. "Her boobies better than mine!" I laughed.

"No, not true." Lark said. "You...you prob got better...I see lots boobies in life...not you...maybe better..."

"Nu uh, Britt-Britt got better ones..."

"Lemme see video," He took his laptop. "Video?"

"Uh...Brittany...Santana...Lord Tubbington...cat cleaning..." I told him.

Lark searched it up. Honestly I only saw it because Brittany said it was a special video. Brittany was only topless for four seconds but I remember her chest. I'm not into girls but she did have a bigger chest than me. Lark watched the video for a couple of minutes before looking back. "Britt blonde or brunette?"

"Blonde."

"Oh...nah...she...well...yeah, nice ones." He admitted. "I seen better."

Laughing and taking another puff I put my joint back in the water cup next to me to get rid of it. "Larky like Britt-Britt?"

"Lark like Rawrly, but her tata's nice...real nice."

"Weirdo."

* * *

We went a couple of more rounds of truth or dare, mainly truths though. We finished the weed and only had cigarettes left. After a couple of hours of taking a game break and watching a movie, we decided to finish the game before going to bed that night.

"Truth or dare?" I asked.

"Truth."

"What, according to you, is the weirdest place that you have done it in?"

"Uh...a pool table. Not comfortable." He said. "Until then it was my Moms car."

"Ha."

"Okay, truth or dare?"

I smiled. "Dare."

"Oh that's been a while since I had to flash my ass out the window...okay..." He sat there and thought for a couple of minutes. He began smirking when an idea came to mind. "Just because of cat video. Marley?"

"What?"

"Take off your top; that includes bra." He said.

Now normally I would laugh and play it off asking for another dare, he wouldn't mind. But I felt something different now. I _wanted _to take my top off. I _wanted_ him to see me topless. Giggling I sat straight up and took off my shirt first, tossing it to the side, and revealing my modest white cotton bra to him. After that I put my hands behind me and started to unclasp the hooks and once all of the claps were done I pulled the bra straps down forward and tossed my bra to the side. My chest became cold, but the look in Lark's eyes when my breasts came to view was priceless. He seemed very turned on.

"Lark like?" I asked.

"Lark _really _likes." He said as he looked for a few more minutes. "Better than the blondes."

"Truth or dare?"

"Dare." He said.

"Tkae your shirt off."

Smirking, he did so. "Truth or dare?"

"Dare."

"Take off your skirt only."

I giggled as I did, just leaving me in my underpants. "Truth or dare?"

"Dare."

"Stand in front of me and pull everything down." I said. He saw me fully topless, I wanted to see him fully bottomless.

Lark rolled his eyes as he stood up and walked in front of me. He un-did his belt and started to pull his pants and underwear down. His 'buddy' popped out; hard. I laughed. "What?" He asked.

"Ry's bigger than you." I admitted. "A lot bigger."

"Fuck off, truth or dare?" He asked going back to his spot.

'Dare."

"Do I even need to ask?" He smiled. I shook my head as I stood up and pulled my underpants down, pushing them to the side. Lark smirked. "Now we both nakey."

A couple of more truths and some dares later we decided on each giving a truth and a dare and finish the game. "Best sex position?"

"Missionary. Walked in on your parents?"

"Nope, thank god." He said. "I dare you to give me a lap dance."

"A what?"

"Lap dance. You know what grinding is?" I nodded. "It's that but you sit on someone."

"Can I smoke?" I asked as I got on my knees to walk over there.

He nodded as he pulled a cigarette off the table and lit it up. He handed it to me when I got over. I smoked it for a few minutes before sitting face forward to him. I remember grinding with Ryder, so I did the exact same thing here. It was much hotter now though because we were in nothing so I felt _him _become very excited with each move. Not to mention our chests coming in contact with one another and touching with each move we made. No, we weren't having sex, but if someone walked in on us it may look like sex. I giggled a little bit just thinking that while Lark put his hands on my waist and held me. I finished my cigarette and put it in a glass of water then wrapped my arms around Lark's neck.

After a couple of minutes, towards the end of the dance, I knew my last dare. "Lark?"

"What?"

"I dare you to make love to me." I said. "Right now. Here or in the bedroom, either room, just right now."

Lark smirked. "You sure?"

I nodded. "Make love."

Lark grinned as he got up. He picked me up bridal way and carried me into the bedroom. "Bed's are the best and more comfortable." He laid me gently on the bed before climbing on top of me. "You said missionary was best.|" He said. He then leaned down and we locked lips.

* * *

We made love all night. Over and over again. I wouldn't admit it to him because it might make him feel bad, but Ryder was a lot better at making love. But Lark was almost just as good in making love. I loved it.

In the early dawn we finished another round. I cuddled into Lark's arms and rested on top of him. I felt him kiss the top of my head and rest his hand along my cool body. "I love you Marley."

"I love you Lark." I smiled.

* * *

**Ahhhh, how was that? I know I'm a Ryley girl and it kills to write this chapter, but I liked writing it too because its so NOT MARLEY, haha!**


	57. Saturday Night Loving

**Hey!**

**Dirty chapter, haha.**

* * *

**57\. Saturday Night Loving.**

Well, I got fired. Actually I quit before I got fired.

Gunther took me to the back office after I was late again for the billionth time. I was a little high still from earlier in the day, but before Gunther could say a word I spoke first.

_"Sir, I'm sorry, but I can't work here anymore. I only took this job to stay here in New York because my school year in Ohio was very bad and miserable, but I can't use this job as an excuse to get over the bad."_

He still seemed annoyed but shrugged it off. I said the same thing to Kurt, who asked if it was about Mom and I nodded (not a full lie as I still missed Mom a lot). He smiled and said my next meal here would be on the house. He invited me to his apartment's little get together and I nodded.

I asked Lark if he wanted to come, but he was busy. So I ended up there alone. Lots of Vogue editors were there and some students at NYADA. I sat in the corner alone for about an hour until I left; leaving a note for Kurt on the fridge.

I came home and watched some lame Lifetime movie then another one. Lark came home by the end of the second one, a little high on weed, and sat next to me. It was't long until I sat on him and we starting making out. I felt him lift me up and carry me to the bedroom.

* * *

I woke up early in the morning. I felt Lark's lips kissing my bare shoulder behind me so I turned and faced him. "Hi."

"Hey," He whispered loudly. "So I didn't get a chance to talk to you last night."

"What?"

"I'm heading to Florida in two weeks for some drug business, I"ll be gone a full week. Care to join?"

I shrugged. I wanted to stay in the city, but Florida sounded fun too. "I don't know."

"Well we got time. And since both of us are out of work—your dining and my amusement park because "they got too many employees"—just the bar and I can always get coverage." He explained.

"Sounds like fun." I said.

Lark leaned forward and kissed my head. "Wanna go get breakfast at I-Hop?"

I sat up nodding. But I had a little idea in mind. I pushed all the covers off of me and shifted myself so that I was straddling on Lark. Lark, understanding what I wanted to do, smirked as he put his hands on my waist. "This early?"

"Hmm," I nodded, slowly shifting around until I got into position. "Yup."

"Naughty." Lark said.

"I like being naughty," I said. Finally I got into the position I was looking for; sitting on _him _and said, "Very naughty."

* * *

We made love twice. We got breakfast at I-Hop and then went home again, where we made love again. Lark had gotten up and left the room and returned with all the weed and cigarettes and a bottle of vodka and a large bottle of apple juice. He sat on the bed and handed me a cigarette. While I smoked the cigarette Lark mixed the vodka and apple juice together and poured some in a cup and handed one to me.

"Apple vodka." I said. "It's been a few months."

"Yup." Lark said sipping it himself. "Wanna catch a movie tonight?"

"Sure." I smiled.

We decided on a movie that started at 10.

I made us lunch; macaroni and cheese. Of course being a little tipsy and a little high I was able to still make the food. Luckily Lark closed all the windows with curtains so that nobody outside would see our nude bodies walking around the living room. We sat with our bowls, apple vodka juice, with cigarettes in the ashtray.

"Heyyoo...Dino...we go...couch...movie...no theater?" I laughed.

"We stay?" The high boy asked, also laughing.

"Yeah! We can stay nakey!' I smiled.

"Nakey!" He laughed. "Yey! I can still see your boobies."

Laughing I cupped my breasts and said, "Larky like boobies."

We finished lunch. We got high some more and drank some more. We made love again; with me on the kitchen counter and Lark standing up. We made love again laying on the couch and rested there afterwards. No blankets. We slept there for the rest of the afternoon.

* * *

When we both woke up we were calmed down, but still a teeny bit tipsy. Lark, nibbling at my tips, muttered about ordering pizza.

"We have to dress," I moaned.

"We get nakey after." Lark said.

We got dressed. We ordered the pizza and while we waited; made out on the couch. The pizza came and as soon as the delivery guy left and Lark locked the door; we both stripped down to nothing and sat on the couch eating pizza.

"Damn, I'm going to miss a week of this when I'm in Florida." Lark mentioned.

"Me too." I said. "But if we're not dating and you find a girl you wanna do, go do her."

"Really?" Lark sounded surprised.

"Just imagine me." I winked.

"That's hot." Lark said.

We finished the pizza just as a movie started. We sat there on the couch, cuddled together, watching the movie. Lark pulled out some more weed joints and we smoked during the middle of the movie. By the end, an hour later, Lark and I were making love on the floor in front of the television. Thrusting into me hard and breathing, Lark was speaking dirty. I was too caught up in my own head to do anything. Once finished he pulled out and rested next to me, placing his hand on my left breast and rubbing the nip gently.

"Shit, I'm really gonna miss this." Lark muttered.

"Yeah...too...think...return...big," I giggled. I had no idea how I was wording this. "You...return...cab...enter...me nakey...all nighter...sexy time."

Laughing Lark said, "Deal." He kissed my cheek.

We stayed there for another two hours watching TV from that position until Lark and I got up and walked back to the room. We both knew walking into the room what was gonna happen. We made love two times before resting for the night.

I wasn't going to Florida, and I was gonna miss Lark, but I figure if I got high enough and went to clubs than the week would fly by and soon he would return.

* * *

**Lots of Larley love here! Marley is a naughty girl now, lol. What will our Marley do while Lark is away?**


	58. First Night Alone

**Hey Sorry for such a long wait. Hope you had a very good holiday!**

**Question at the bottom:**

* * *

**58\. First Night Alone.**

Two weeks came and went. I guess by being drunk and high all the time, the time flew. Lark and I stayed up late packing his suitcase for Florida. He couldn't bring anything drug related to the airport; he's not that dumb. After we finished packing his two bags we stripped out of our clothes; I gave him a blow-job that he loved and then we made love. I made friends with the one girl at a club and she offered to get me some Morning After pills, for a price. I paid her and she got two bottles of them. Now Lark and I could make love without using a condom or worrying about getting pregnant.

In the morning we made love three times before showering and getting dressed. We took a cab to the airport and because it was a little chilly outside we used the blanket to keep warm, which I took to use as the opportunity to give Lark a nice long hand job. He didn't want the driver to think suspicious of anything so it was fun watching Lark make faces without trying to moan. He managed to cum just as we pulled up to the airport. I smiled and wiped my hand on the seat, not caring too much as who knows who many people fucked in the back seat and in what positions.

We sat outside and smoked some cigarettes. "So I'll call every night around ten, that sound good?" He asked me.

I nodded and blew a puff out. "Sounds good." I said.

"What is Miss Rose going to do while I'm gone?" He smirked.

"I don't know. Go to Paradise Village maybe and drink."

"You've seen your high school friends?"

"No."

I haven't seen them in a while. I've been avoiding them and their calls. Finn is being an ass to me and he and everyone found out I haven't stopped smoking and been drinking. They are all on my ass about this. Finn also got a hold of Ryder and Ryder's tried to get in contact with me. I know he can't get to New York because he has to stay with his grandparents for a couple of weeks, but I then realized after his parents came back that he could come to New York and find me. Shit. Maybe I should crash somewhere for a while.

"Hey, is there anyone we know who's couch I can crash on if I can't get home?"

"Uh, probably Juliet She won't mind."

"Okay."

We finished our cigarettes. He reached into his pocket and handed me three boxes. "I got these yesterday. These should last you for a few days and in my underwear drawer there's some grass," He winked. "Lots of grass."

"Oh...okay." I grinned. "Thanks."

"Damn, what the fuck am I going to do when I'm gone?"

"Find a girl, just pretend she's me."

"Ha ha, good point." I said.

We walked into the airport and I followed him while he got things settled and we walked passed security. I followed him to the gate and we hugged for a long time, tightly, until he really had to go. We kissed for a couple of minutes before he really, really had to get on his plane. I stayed there and waved and then went to the big windows and saw him get on the plane. I waited there until the plane took off and was in the air, telling myself that the movie _Final Destination _was only a movie.

He was gone.

I sat at the airport for an hour. Bored. Maybe I should go to the park and go on that merry-go-round ride.

_**~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X_**~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X_**~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~**_**_**_

Well the first three ride were fun. Then it got boring.

I sat on a bench that was pretty isolated but still in view point of people. I pulled out a cigarette and a lighter and lit a cigarette. I smoked it watching people pass.

I miss Ryder.

How I thought of him I had no idea.

Then I remembered how we said if we came to New York we would sit on a park bench and people watch for the fun of it. It seemed really stupid but we both liked how silly it sounded too.

Wow... I really miss Ryder.

Three more cigarettes.

Nope, still thought of him.

Maybe I should go home and take a cat nap.

_**~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X_**~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X_**~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~**_**_**_

I arrived home sometime after I made the decision. I laid on the couch, shut my eyes and slowly fell asleep to the silence of the apartment.

_I was in an alley, with a needle in my arm, injecting myself with... God knows what... something bad. A cigarette was in my mouth too. I was feeling really good and suddenly I heard Ryder's voice._

_"Marley! Stop!" He yelled. "Stop it!"_

_"Ryder?" I called out. I looked around for the brown haired boy, but I couldn't find him at all. "Ryder?" I stood up and took the needle out of my arm and began walking around._

_"Ryder!?" I called out once more._

_Where was he?_

_I felt someone grab me from behind and in a quick reaction, remembering the needle in my hand filled with drugs, I turned and slammed that needle into their chest._

_Shit._

_"RYDER!" I yelled as he fell to the ground, screaming in pain as he held his chest. "Ryder! I'm sorry, I'm sorry!"_

He said something, but I woke up screaming. That was a horrible nightmare. I don't think I've woke up bawling like this since Mom died... I miss Ryder.

Maybe I made a mistake. Maybe I shouldn't of broken up with him. He's been with me from the start and I don't mean from the start of the smoking a cigarette, I mean from when I was throwing up on purpose to make myself skinny. He's been with me since then.

Then reality hit me. I'm exactly like my father.

I stood up and dug through the kitchen until I found some vodka type rum and apple juice. I needed to get rid of Ryder and this seemed like a way to start.

* * *

**Uh oh. Marley is alone now! What is going to happen?**

**Question: Would anyone here be interested in a sequel to this story? I have some ideas in mind, but I'd like your opinions first to see if anyone here would read the story.**


	59. Party

**Hey Sorry for such a long wait. Hope you had a very good holiday!**

**Question at the bottom:**

* * *

**59\. Party**

I woke up pretty hungover. The last thing I remember was being drunk talking to Lark on the phone and talking about slut brownies and how hot and cold I was at the moment even though the windows and blinds were closed so that the heat wouldn't rise up from the outside light. Even when it was dark outside. I grabbed a water bottle and took a large gulp of water before managing to get up from the bed. Oh, that's right, I got hot last night so I stripped everything off and slept in the nude last night. That would explain why I felt cold now. Well home alone or with Lark or Ryder, I didn't care now.

I left the bedroom and entered the bathroom. I did my business, washed my hands and then came back into the apartment. Man I must of been wild because pillows were all over the place and food from the fridge was left out, including the milk and ice cream. "Oh shit." I muttered. "Well, guess I have to clean up."

It only took a half hour. Once I was done I sat on the couch, still naked, watching TV news. Nothing too much was going on. I grabbed my phone and saw Ryder had texted me. He didn't pay his phone bill and now that he had, he was texting me like crazy last night. I ignored them and saw Lark had texted me.

_Hey, thanks for the picture ;)  
Don't worry, I deleted it after I relieved myself for a while._

Oh no, again?

I looked at what I sent him and saw that it was my breasts. No face shown, just my breasts and a message. _Liii whhaa c? it no me, i got frm bee-bee. _What the hell was I talking about? I knew for a fact that Lark knew that was a picture of my boobs since, well, he's seen me naked plenty of times.

A while later I showered. No, I didn't dress after that. I just came out of the show and walked my newly shaved body out of the bathroom and back onto the couch to think of what to do for now. "Hmmm, maybe I can throw a party." I said to myself as I thought of ideas of how to stay entertained. "I know some people from the local club I go too."

I grabbed my phone and made some calls. I had in total fifteen people coming over for the party that would start at 8 tonight. I got up from the couch and ran into the bedroom to find something to wear. I had this white lace bustier crop top and black mini-skirt with these new black heel booties that I got the other day with Lark, after we made out in the changing room and not only did I receive a mark on my neck but it was the first time we woo-hoo in a public place and kept our clothes on. The time before that, when we were totally naked, was at Club Paradise in the basement bathroom. I'm pretty sure the door was opened and people watched us, then Lark said it never happened.

* * *

A couple of hours later after cleaning the house up and purchasing some alcohol down the road. making brownies and cookies and ordering Chinese food and lots of pizza, some friends came over. Juliet, Roberta, Emily, Bobby, Leonardo, Cole and Mattie. Most of them brought over alcohol and the rest, mainly Mattie and Roberta, brought over all kinds of drugs from weed to crack and meth and LSD and more. Cole and I both liked smoking cigarettes so Cole brought over all of the cigarette boxes he managed to get at the store, fifteen boxes.

We all started eating as Bobby told us a story about how he recently got a fine for smoking on a college university. "Bullshit that cop, fuck him in the ass with his own damn law rules." Bobby said.

"Oh shut up." Emily rolled her eyes. "It's not the end of the world."

"Don't fuck with me Emily Geller. I'll beat your ass."

"Whatever." Emily said. "Pass me the weed."

I puffed out another cigarette before putting it down in the ashtray and biting into my noodles. "Anyone want to watch a movie?"

"I just want some Lucy that's all." Mattie said.

"Sure, any movie is fine. Once I start drinking I get a little cray cray." Juliet told us. "Sam with Leo here, right hubby?"

"Sure thing," The twenty-five year old man told his nineteen year old wife. "Nice anniversary this week."

"Fuck off!" Bobby yelled. "Let's just finish this up and get on the scene."

* * *

Three or four hours passed, but it seemed a lot shorter in time. Everyone was drunk and high, including myself. Leonardo and Juliet were making out in their underwear after snorting crack up their noses. Cole was chugging another bottle of rum and Roberta was giving Mattie a lap dance on the couch in nothing but her bra and underpants. Emily and Bobby were in the bathroom screwing each other all over the tub.

I miss Ryder. I don't even know how I remembered him but I do and I miss him.

"Shit...vodka..." I muttered as I grabbed a glass and poured the vodka in it. I chugged it right down and felt better.

I kept chugging and drinking down drinks, with red cups, until I found a new bottle of vodka and drank right out of the bottle. Wow, my head was killing me.

I stood up and stumbled back to the living room. Leonardo and Juliet were under a cover from the couch, Roberta was giving Mattie a blow-job that he seemed to enjoy and I could hear Emily laughing loudly, followed by Mattie's voice. "Em, shut the fuck up, they're gonna hear us!"

I had a few more cigarettes and texted Lark goodnight.

I found some of that stuff that Juliet snorted. I haven't done that in a long time. I remember how to do it though. I leaned down and snorted up the crack and found a lit joint and took that. I found more stuff to snort so I snorted that up too.

I felt so good in a while, I felt free.

* * *

When I woke up in the morning from the party I saw that everyone was still here, beer bottles thrown all over the place and pillows in every direction too. Juliet and Leonardo were still on the couch while a topless Roberta and pantless Mattie were on the rug and I assume Emily and Bobby were in the bathroom still. Cole was up and walking around with no pants on.

"Cole?"

"Hey Marley," He said. "Just looking for pants."

"Head...bum...cigarette." I moaned.

"I'm going to get all of us food. Great party, have another one soon." He said.

It was a nice party.


	60. Party II

**Oh, Dark Marley!**

* * *

**60\. Party II**

I wanted to throw another party. Tonight, but everyone was going to Paradise Village so I decided to join along. I was home alone at some point so I got dressed and relaxed taking some weed, drinking and smoking cigarettes during a movie marathon.

I ate some noodles and then left an hour afterwards to the club, dressed in a bright blue crop top and black mini skirt with black boots. I entered and saw Bobby and Roberta over at a table having a few shots. I joined over, took a shot glass from Bobby's hands, and chugged it down.

The rest of them came along, soon joining us at the table.

After a while everyone got on the dance floor. Grinding against one another. Leonardo began sucking Juliet's breasts through her shirt while Mattie grabbed Roberta by the waist and banged her behind against his front-side, over and over again, feeling happy and laughing. Cole was dancing between two older, overly under-dressed women who looked old enough to be his mother. Emily handed me her tote bag to hold while she and Bobby went off to find someplace alone and screw each other for a while. I obligated with a smile and took her bag with me to the bathroom.

I was off on the side spinning in circles with a red solo cup in my hand singing along to the song on the DJ mix CD and having a blast.

I went to the bathroom to smoke some weed and cigarettes while a couple of other girls in the bathroom re-did their makeup, use the stall and share some of their cigarettes. A red hair woman in her mid-thirties handed me a cigarette and lighter when I asked her nicely for one, then I lit up the cigarette and handed the lighter back to her. I stood near the window next to the sink and smoked half of it when I heard sirens going off. Everyone in the bathroom and in the club scene were screaming.

"Someone called the cops about the under-age kids here!" Someone yelled into the bathroom. "They're taking in everyone, over and under age!"

Shit.

Quickly following some of the girls I stood on the sink and peeked out the window. Cops drove pass the window, but none of them stopped as they were going to the front of the building. Finding the courage in my fear I climbed out the window after another woman and dropped to the ground and hid behind a bush until the sound of sirens went away from this side of the building. The women who left before and after me went running. The women left in the bathroom screamed as the sound of cops shouting at them told them to freeze and as I heard some of the women fighting to get away from the cops, I crunched myself into a tight ball and held my breathe praying that I wouldn't be found.

As the sounds of the bathroom died down I crawled on my hands and knees from the side I was on to the other. It was dark out of course but I still prayed to not be discovered.

"That's the last one in the bathroom, Harry." A cop's voice echoed.

"Nobody jump out the window?" The other cop asked.

"Let me check,"

Quickly I crawled faster to the other side and just as I rounded a corner and stood up I heard the first cop say, "Nope. Nobody hiding out here."

Beautiful.

I stood there for another minute to catch my breathe before deciding run in the direction where the cops were coming. I assumed nobody would be leaving for a while to get a hold of everyone they cuffed at the club.

* * *

I ran down the street for what felt like a speedy and quick ten minutes before stopping at a liquor store still opened. I needed something. Just anything. I checked in my purse inside of the tote bag to see how much I had on my. I didn't expect to spend much tonight so when I found a twenty on me I felt satisfied and walked inside with my purse in my pants.

I was alone inside. The boy up front, maybe twenty three, was watching a sports game on TV. I walked into the back and looked around the bottles and found they had a lot of great drinks. French wine, dessert wine, red wine, apple cider wine, apple cider beer, grape flavor beer, ect. I wanted them all. But I had only a twenty dollar on me and all the drinks I wanted would be over fifty.

I glanced up and around looking for a security camera and didn't see one, but to be sure I pretended to keep looking around. There was one near the front and some on the side and on my way back to what I wanted I saw one that kept moving from facing me to the opposite side of me. I pretended to look at one thing while the camera was facing me, but as soon as it turned I would open the door and take the biggest wine bottle and place it in the tote bag. The camera turned back after a minute so I counted in my head.

Three minutes later I got the two wine bottles and a case of beer. I grabbed another wine bottle to take to pay for. I took my jacket off placed that between the straps of my bag so it rested on the top and then held my I.D card and money in the other hand.

I walked up and the boy looked at me. "Card?" He held his hand out. I handed it to him and he looked between the card and I. "You got a shit load of makeup on your face."

"Red lipstick and eyeliner, mascara and blue stuff around my eyes isa shit load? Than what is a clown?"

"You." He smiled. "Here you go, Marley. Nice name."

"Thanks."

"My name's Eddy,"

"Whatever."

"Red wine, that's a good one." He rang it up. "Got a date tonight?"

"No."

"Alone?"

"Why do you care?"

"I'm off in an hour."

"Oh sorry asshole. We just met. And I'm dating by the way." I told him with a scowl on my face. "And that's a horrible way to pick up girls."

"I'll give you a discount for a favor."

"What's that?" I asked him.

"A kiss on the lips." He puckered his lips out. I took the twenty and shoved it in his mouth.

"I said I'm dating." I told him as I took the bottle. "Thanks again."

I walked out of the store leaving he sadden guy alone at the desk and back to the game. Wow, I never thought I'd steal wines and such, but I did. I stole alcohol and felt so happy about it.


	61. Another Party, Another Fail

**Hi. So if you haven't read Phone Call yet, I suggest you do because the beginning part of this wouldn't make so much sense, I guess. **

**Update: So I finally remembered to make a character board for Minnie. It's on my Polyvore account.**

* * *

**61: Another Party, Another Fail.**

When I woke up the following morning I showered, dried my hair and put on a pink short sleeve dress that I had. Not revealing like my latest clothes, a little more modest type. I gathered the money that I owed the store and left the apartment building around eleven. When I arrived there I saw that the boy from last night was up front. I sighed, how would I get passed him and not get the cops called on me?

Within a minute or two of standing there I saw he had left the counter. Perfect. I walked inside the store and placed the money on the counter with a note I wrote. I OWE YOU THIS! and ran out of there quickly before he returned.

I smiled as I walked away, glad that I was feeling a change in me. I took my phone out and searched for Ryder to tell him. Just a short message for now.

**I'm sorry. Call or text ASAP. I love you!**

Hopefully he would get it soon. I walked down the street some more and stopped inside of a diner Juliet worked at during the week. She was here from about 5 in the morning until 5 at night, with an hour break in between. She liked it a lot. I stepped in and saw the pretty girl wave at me and point to an empty table, assuming she wanted me to sit there. I sat in one of the two seats that sat there and waited for her to come over.

"Well hey Marley, haven't seen you here before." Juliet said. "What's up?"

"Oh I'm just really good today, that's all." I told her. "What's up with you?"

"Party tonight at Roberta's house." Juliet told me. "It's gonna be a killer party with lots of 'candy'," She winked. "Wanna come?"

"Oh, I can't." I said. "I'm, uh, busy."

"Oh that's too bad." Juliet said. "It was gonna be a celebration for the gang. None of us got in trouble last night and let go for free...where was you?"

"I snuck out the bathroom." I said. "I went home and had some wine and a cigarette."

"Oh that's cool." She smiled. "Well if you end up coming that's fine. Nothing too bad except drink and merry." Juliet told me. "I'm leaving around 7 from my place so if you want a ride, text me ASAP."

"Fine." I said. "I'll think about it."

* * *

Nope. I didn't want to go. I knew if I went I would just want to get high and drunk, so I wanted to stay home instead.

Nothing from Ryder yet. I hope he doesn't hate me. But I guess I could understand if he hated me, I hated myself too. After last night with the stealing drinks from a store and feeling good about it. And then I started to feel bad and hate myself for always getting high when I felt horrible, or drink when I felt horrible or even get high and drink I felt something horrible about myself.

That made me feel bad.

I was watching the TV host talking about his struggle with drinking for years. He said he tested himself at a party to see if he would drink, only after a few years of therapy and rehab, and he didn't have a drink at all.

Well I haven't gone to therapy for this or rehab, but I felt like I could go to the party tonight and not drink or use drugs. If I could go tonight without them than I'm sure I can do good all on my own without help from therapist or rehab people. Right?

I texted Juliet and told her I was going, but needed a ride. She's call me when she was on her way.

I dressed up for the occasion but nothing to party-like. A simple shirt I owned with a sweater blazer and a knee length skirt with my flats. No heavy makeup, just light and simple.

I sat outside waiting for Juliet who was on her way with Leonardo. They arrived and I jumped into the back seat. "You look nice," Leonardo said.

"Thank you." I smiled.

* * *

Roberta lived just outside of Manhatten, in a six bedroom and five bathroom house with an outdoor, in ground pool and a giant living room. We arrived and it was the same people from the party the other night and most of them just arrived too so it wasn't too weird or anything.

Everyone began drinking, I had a glass of water from the kitchen. We all sat around the living room and chatted and making jokes about this and that, but soon everyone was becoming drunk and I felt odd being here being a non-drunk. Some of them like Roberta and Mattie began getting high while Juliet and Leonardo were smoking something other than weed, maybe crack? She heard them mentioning it in the car on their way here a while ago. Emily and Bobby were off in a corner grinding on one another and smoking up a couple weed joints.

I felt alone. I sighed and checked my phone, no message yet. Where was Ryder?

Minnie called me during the party, it's been about a week since we last talked, she and Gina were pretty good and have been hanging out all the time at the house. She's gotten promoted to head hairdresser and assistance at her work; now she worked from 5 AM - 9 PM, Monday to Friday. She had her weekends off which meant more time for Gina, me and partying. I said that sounded fun and that it it would be fun to see her again.

When we both hung up, I was bored again. Everyone was drunk, including Cole now, who was chugging down a bottle of rum mixed with vodka. He told me in between drinks that he wanted to go out and find a slut to screw with. I jokingly stated he could buy one on a corner and he told me that he could find one on his way home if he wasn't too drunk. He probably end up sleeping here tonight, like the rest of party goers.

Another hour passed. I was just about to call a taxi to get a ride home when my phone buzzed. I looked and saw that Ryder sent a picture. Happily I opened the message, only to find something else. It was some girl with dark hair in a ponytail in her bra and underwear. There was a caption at the bottom, attached to the picture.

**You left your boy for an adventure in New York, I'm with your boy having an adventure in his pants. He's been asleep for the past few hours. Bye Cigarette Bitch. - Bree.**

Bree? BREE? That disgusting and horrible human villain who has done everything to make things wrong for me? No, this had to be a prank. Another practical joke. But I recognize that room as Ryder's and my heart sank. Ryder was with another girl and while that's what I was thinking he would do, and sometimes hope he did so that we could forget one another, I found myself angry and depressed that he was with the girl who's tried to break us up in the past. How? How could he do this to us? To me? Then I remembered; I broke his heart and this was his vile payback at me. His revenge. Break up with him and he goes to the girl who's wanted him for a long time, to say at least, and was now sleeping with her. Were they even dating or was it just hooking up?

I shut my phone and turned it off. I felt myself on the verge of tears when someone handed a bottle of beer to me. "Whoa, hold this?" Bobby asked. "Em and I gonna rock a room." He winked and then dragged Emily away to screw in one of the bathrooms. It was a full bottle of beer he handed me. I glanced at it and felt how cold it was and seeing the bottle already opened and waiting to be drunken, I didn't want to make it go to waste or let it warm up.

I took a sip of the beer bottle and felt the instant coldness go down my throat and into my empty stomach. I loved the taste of this beer, even if it did taste no different than other beer, and took another gulp at it. Once I finished it I tossed it behind me not caring where it landed and got up to find more beer. I found some in the fridge in the kitchen, a lot of bottles actually, and an extra large bottle of red wind and vodka. I took all of that out and then grabbed an empty lemonade pitched and placed it on the counter. I poured in both the extra large bottles of red wine and vodka, emptying them to half a bottle left in each of them, then took seven beer cans and poured them in the mix. I looked around for a large spoon and when I did I stirred it all up together and mixed it together for a couple of minutes before lifting up the pitcher and chugging it all down.

All that alcohol mixed together was an unbelievable taste in my mouth. Like having skittles and rainbows in my mouth and dancing together. It was amazing and I made a second mix of it all together. By the second mix I really felt my body becoming lose and relaxed. I started to giggle for no reason as I looked for more to drink. If Ryder was taken and Lark didn't care about me, I as free to do what I want and when I pleased.

I thought about it before coming to New York and if my memory wasn't too messed up, I think I had this thought a while ago too. I planned on not ever going back to Lima. I didn't need Lima and Lima didn't need me. I told myself I was only high and drunk when I thought that but now it was true. All true. I wasn't going back. I was going to stay here in New York and live my life the way I want too. Drink, smoke, party, get high, have sex with Lark all day and all night at all times of the day when we were able to, smoke and drink some more. I was free.

Finally free.

* * *

A couple of hours later I was drunk and high. Cigarettes and weed filled my lungs while beer and wine swam through my blood and veins. I was up on a table with Cole dancing to some radio wave pop music, whatever one considered that, and holding a beer bottle in my hand. Everyone else was drunk and having a fun blast for the night.

Cole and I jumped off the table and began grinding against one another and I'll admit that I pushed my butt out a few times and rubbed against his growing hard dick, and I swear sometimes I turned and saw a smile on his face when we were doing so. After the third time of doing that Cole grabbed my butt and began bashing it to his front side. He leaned down and began speaking dirty to me; telling me his fantasies and his desires of what to do if we went into a bedroom. Just a lot of different positions. I stood straight up and turned to him and leaned in. "Bet cha you can show me than tell me. I've always been a learner by watching and doing instead of telling." I whispered.

Cole grew a grin on his face. He took my hand in his and began pulling me away from the party. We found ourselves upstairs minutes later in one of the empty bedrooms.

Cole pulled me into the room, shut the door and turned the light on. Cole and I jumped onto one another and began eating each others mouths off in the kiss, his hands rubbing all over my back as my own rubbed the back of his head and ran my fingers through his black hair. The pale faced boy shredded his jacket off and kicked his shoes off just as I managed to kick off my own shoes. Cole lifted me up and carried me over to the bed and then laid me down, climbed to hover over me, and began making out with me again.

"You're so hot," He said as he kept making out. "I've wanted to bang you for the past few weeks, bang you so damn hard."

"You silly." I giggled.

After minutes of making out I pushed him up so that I was sitting up. I managed to pull my dress up and then up and over my head and throwing it away, revealing my strapless pink bra and underwear to her. Cole's eyes grew as he took off his shirt and then threw it to where my dress was. His hands guided their ways to my breasts and messaged them roughly. He leaned in and kissed the exposed skin around my breasts as I moaned loudly. Cole's hands guided their way to the back of my bra and began fiddling with the claps. As soon as they became undone my bra began to fall off it's own and Cole took the moment to rip it away from me, exposing my chest to the cold and his view. His eyes grew wide as he looked at my chest and studied my breasts. "You're so fucking hot," Cole said. "Lark's lucky to have these girls first."

Actually Ryder was first, but close. Cole stripped himself of his pants and briefs and then taking putting his fingers on the wasit of my panties and brought it down. I felt really cold now, but I could care less. Cole leaned down and began kissing me all over my body, bottom to top, causing me to giggle in some areas than the other. When he got to my breasts he took one into his mouth and began sucking it. The both of us moaned loudly, my chest rising up and down heavily with each action he did to me. One he finished that breast, he went to the other breast and did the same thing. When he finished that breast Cole sat up and held both of my breasts in his hands. He was kneading them with his large and firm and moaning still. "You're so delicious," He muttered. "Lark's lucky to have eaten these twins first."

"Shut up and fuck me." I said.

Cole grabbed a condom from his pants, put it on, held my legs opened and got himself ready. "You good girl?"

"Fuck me!" I yelled.

He thrusts into me. He was very hard and big, not as big as Ryder, and he moved at a rapid pace enough to make the bed shake hard and rock loudly. He was making my body bounce up and down with all the bouncing we did on the bed having sex, but he was so good in bed that I didn't care. Cole spoke dirty to me and told me to do things do him; slap his thighs and hold his butt. I did so and he turned on more and moved quicker. I found myself crying loudly and moaning and telling him to fuck me harder. He called me his naughty girl, which I found hot and told him to thrust faster and harder. He did, I told him to go faster, and he did. God, this was mind-blowing amazing.

We finished. He pulled out of me and we kissed for a couple more minutes before relaxing. "Oh shit, that was...good..." Cole said. "You're good in bed, practice with Lark?" He asked me.

I giggled as I turned to my side to face him. "Sure, you say that." I told him.

"So...this gonna...be regular?"

"Nah, maybe not." I said. "I'm with Lark, ya know?"

"But...he gone, right?"

"Yeah." I said.

"What if we...ya...ya know...til he come...ya know?" He gave a smirk and winked.

"Oh," I said. Well Lark did say it was fine that I was with someone while he was gone. "I guess."

"Oh good...that nice." He laughed.

* * *

We went for another two rounds and after that I got up and left the room after getting dressed. He was good in bed, but he moved quickly and didn't take his time like how I've always liked it to be. Whatever, it's for another week right?"

I pulled my phone out and texted Ryder.

**We're done. Fuck you, asshole. You wanna be with Bree? Other girls? Fine, go ahead. You won't see me again. I'm staying in NY with Lark and going to live my life the way I want too.**

I sent that and turned my phone off.

I was free.


	62. More Partying

**Very M-ish chapter here. Not too much like Phone Call, but close.**

* * *

**62: More Partying.**

The next three days all I did was smoke, get high, drink beer and wine and have protective sex. Cole, a few hookups from a bar I went to (two of them) and with an OK from Emily, Bobby. Bobby was pretty weird and he didn't want to use a condom but I told him that the only way he was going to get all over this body was with a condom. He agreed and used one, but I'm pretty sure he hated using it.

The third night I was having another small party. I asked everyone to bring beer and alcohol and drugs and cigarettes and I would provide food. I showered, dried my hair and made small loose curls in it before getting my clothes on. I put on my leather mini-skirt and decided to put on a black bustier crop top. I held up the shirt and looked between the shirt and my bra-covered self. An idea began emerging in my head. I put the shirt under my arms and held it here while my arms reached into the back and unclasped the hooks of my bra. Once lose I took it off and tossed it to the side and then I then pulled the bustier crop top over my head adjusted it over myself. I remember Brittany mention once that she sometimes forgot to wear a bra and it felt wonderful. I looked at myself in the mirror and saw that it didn't matter if I had a bra on or not, I still looked the same.

"Cool." I said proudly. "I wonder what no underwear feels like, Lorelai did it once in Gilmore Girls." I wondered aloud. I managed to pull my panties down and kick them off with my feet. Free and nude under my clothes felt amazing. "I should do this more often." I said as the doorbell rang. "Here we go."

I opened it and saw that it was everyone. I welcomed everyone inside and minutes later the pizzas came. Once everyone started eating pizza the beer bottles and weed joints came out.

And I did not give a care at all.

* * *

Within that time everyone, including myself, was drunk and high on cigarettes. I'll admit that I knew where I was and what I was doing, but I didn't care what I was doing or doing. I was free.

Leonardo suggested we'd all play a game so we sat at the table, smoking cigarettes and weed joints with our beers and wine and vodka, and tried to think of a game to play. Somehow thinking of a a game caused an argument between Bobby and Mattie. The two of them began bickering about random things from movies to books to which Kardashian was the biggest idiot and which contestant on Dancing with the Stars was going home next week. The rest of us watched this continue back and forth for a while until Juliet and I got up and to get some fresh air outside on the deck area. We sat down on a bench as the wind was blowing.

"You seem different," She said as she took a sip of her wine. "Like you acting like you're free of struggles or things holding you back."

"Close." I giggled taking a sip of my wine. "A friend of mine told me something and I tried it."

"What's that?"

"Going bra-less and pantless." I admitted to her. "I did it and it feels wonderful."

"Oh really?" She smiled. "Hmm, interesting." She said.

We sat there for another minute in silence while drinking our wine before Juliet tapped me. "Question?"

"Hmm?" I asked her.

"How does it feel to be topless?" She asked me. "Like with a shirt on and nothing under."

"Free." I said.

"Can...hmmm...I see?" Her eyes looked at me when she said that. She wanted to see me topless? Sure, why not?

I smiled as I put my wine down. I turned to her and lifted my shirt up; exposing my breasts to her and feeling the cold hit them. "It feel awesome, you like?"

"I do." She said, her brown eyes gawking at them with a sparkle in her eye. "Can I?" She held her hand up, close to my right breast. I nodded. Her cool hand landed on my firm perky breast and she squeezed it. "Oh, that's nice. Very nice. Firm, perky, beautiful boob. They both are." She said, then felt the other breast and held it in her hand with a small squeeze. "I've seen plenty of breasts in my life but these ones are close to perfect."

"Thank you." I smiled and put my shirt back down.

We sat there for another minute. Juliet got up to use the bathroom and upon her return ten minutes, she sat next to me with a smile. "OK."

"Hmmm?"

"I ran into Leo on the return and spoke to him and he's perfectly fine with this." She said. I had no idea what she was talking about.

"What?" I asked her.

"Marley, wanna go have sex?" She asked me. "Leo is fine with us having sex."

Sex? With a girl? I'm straight. I know I'm straight. After seeing all those naked girls in the locker room, catching glimpses of them too see if they were watching me, I knew I was straight because while I'll admit the female body is beautiful I wouldn't of ever thought of doing something so deeply personal like that before. I loved men, boys, the male body. Juliet was a close friend of mine and now, considering I just show her my boobs, I guess I could experiment with her and see what else might turn me on. "I've never been with a girl before."

"It's okay, I'll guide you." She smiled.

I nodded. We stood up and went back down to where the others were still either arguing or watching the argument. I caught eyes with Leonardo who winked at us and then returned to watching the boys argue. I guess he _was_ fine with us doing this. Juliet grabbed a big tote bag she brought with her and left for the bedroom.

Juliet and I arrived back into the bedroom and shut the door and locked it. Juliet turned around and nodded, she was ready. I smiled as as I put my arms down at the bottom of my shirt and lifted it up and tossing the top away, already half naked. Juliet smiled as she took her shirt off and turned around for me to unclasp her blue bra. I unhooked the hooks and she took off the rest of her bra. She turned back and I looked upon her chest. She was just as skinny as I but her breasts were bigger than mine. The two of us began rubbing each other's breasts slowly, giving the other goosebumps. Juliet then leaned in and kissed me.

It was fine. I liked guys kisses better. But she was alright. Her lips left my mouth and left a trail of kisses down my neck and to my breasts. She gave me special attention on each breast and I moaned loudly. I kept giggling as she squeezed and jiggled my breast in her hands. She took her mouth off of me and began working her shorts and panties down. God, she was beautiful. Well, here goes nothing. I pulled my skirt down and kicked it away. She looked me and like I was some toy she wanted to play with. Juliet took my hand and guided me to the bed.

* * *

It was definitely strange to have sex with a girl. I've only ever have sex with guys. Juliet was really nice though. She was gentle with me and did what made me comfortable. She showed me some fun things to do that I didn't try with Ryder, Lark or even Cole and they were pretty awesome to do. Very fun. Afterwards we just sat in bed and talked about this and what was going to happen. I told her it was only a one-night stand. This was really fun to do, but I still liked men. She agreed, she still liked men too, but really wanted to have sex with a female again and she thought I was good.

That's been a bonus I've realized. I'm great at sex. With Ryder, Lark, Cole and now Juliet? I have to be the sexiest person ever and all this because of drinking and smoking.

Juliet and I went for another two rounds, using a strap-on that she had in the tote bag (just in case there was a girl she wanted to have sex with) and each took a turn wearing it. I liked it a lot. We got dressed and joined back at the table. The guys had just ended their argument over which cake was better. I swear to God I don't think anyone but Leonardo noticed that Juliet and I were gone.

A couple of more hours passed. Cole invited his two cousins; Freddie and Jessika, over to the party. They had more cigarettes and beer and wine on them as well as more drugs. When they arrived they began getting high and drunk on what they brought and what we already had here. Soon enough everyone and I were laughing and dancing to the music on the CD in the CD player. Most of the people were grinding against one another. I felt myself grinding against Freddie, who clearly didn't mind that we were doing this. After a couple of minutes he leaned in and asked if I was dating anyone. I told him I was, but that if I wanted to make-out with a guy or whatever that my boyfriend wouldn't care. Freddie then said he has a sixth sense; knowing when girls had no bra or pants on. Giggling I took his hand and brought him to the bedroom.

I gave him an extra condom Lark had in his drawer. We stripped down, made out and then started getting dirty. I didn't care if he was going fast or slow, I just wanted him to fuck me. Hard and quickly. The both of us moaned loudly and came quickly. Freddie took off the old condom and put on a new one, telling me to turn over and stand on my hands and knees. Doggy. I obeyed him and soon enough he started screwing with me again. Holding my waist and banging me back and forth into him. Oh shit, it was so hot.

We finished. He put his pants back on and left the room. I laid there on the bed for a while longer, breathing in and out for another ten minutes, before getting up and put my skirt and top back on. I started to leave the room and upon opening the door, Jessika stood there looking at me with a smirk. "Whaa?" I asked her.

"So your gonna do my twin, but not me?" She asked. "Get back to the room."

Strangely, I obeyed her. I walked backwards into the room with a smile on my face as Jessika walked in and closed the door behind her. "Off. Take it all off." She said as she began untying the back of her halter dress. Again I did what she said and took off my skirt and my top and kicked it away. God, am I ever going to keep my clothes on? I thought as a laughed emerged from that sick thought. Jessika pulled the top half of her dress down and she, too, didn't have a bra on. "Isn't being topless fun?" She laughed as she pulled her dress down and revealed her black panties. She stripped those away and then started kissing me. I kissed her back as we wrapped arms around one another and she began pushing me back towards the bed. She pulled away and said, "I'm gonna make you feel so damn good, you're gonna turn gay." And with that said she pushed me on the bed and climbed on me.

She was good. Really good. I'm still straight, but she was good. She made me feel really sexy and hot. She did more of the work while I just laid there moaning and making gasping sounds and breathing heavy. Unlike most people I've had sex with where they played with my breasts more, Jessika was interested in my "hairless kitty cat" more and paid attention down there the most. Then we did it. She ate me out mostly, but it was still hot and really sexy. I laughed as she pulled away when we finished.

Jessika stood up, kissed me hard on the lips, then pulled away and got dressed. I laid there in bliss. No wonder Puck liked having sex so much, it was fun. Unfortunately another Puckerman also liked it to the point where he cheated on me. But I wasn't cheating. Lark was fine with me doing this. I leaned over to my little drawer and pulled out a cigarette and lighter. I lit it up and began smoking the cigarette. The door opened and I had no idea who it was and when I looked up I saw it was Leonardo and Juliet. They both stumbled over to me and Juliet took my cigarette and dunked it into the glass of water next to the bed. She began kissing my lips while Leonardo kissed my shoulder.

We had a threesome. It's hard to describe it, but's like two people. But with three. Just the three of us naked on the bed and Leonardo went back and forth between thrusting his condom covered self into his wife's back area, doggy style, and my frontal for missionary. He was turned on greatly as he fucked the two of us. When he finished he took the condom off and tossed it away. Juliet and I took turns sucking on him. He moaned as one hand rubbed his wife's breasts and his other hand rubbed my own breasts. When he came he cried out our names loudly. He pushed Juliet down and began sucking her breasts as I watched upon, finding myself rubbing my own breasts becoming more and more turned on. When he finished with her he turned back and pushed me down on the bed and began sucking on my breasts and gently biting my nips. My eyes were shut but I knew Juliet was watching and whispering dirty words to Leonardo and I. Leonardo finished and reached for another condom. He put it on and prepared to fuck us both again.

When we finished we all laid in the bed. Juliet and I had our heads on Leonardo's chest as his arms rested around us. He went back and forth kissing our heads for a while, his hand sometimes rubbed my back. Juliet and Leonardo got up and dressed and asked if I was coming with them. "No, I stay silly." They left and stumbled back out of the room. I had the most strangest feeling that someone was coming into the room soon so I laid there with the bed covers on and over me, smoking another cigarette. The door opened and it was Jessika again, with Emily now. Emily said that Bobby told her about the hookup he and I had and wanted to do me now. And Jessika wanted to do me again.

Another threesome. It was hot. Very hot. Emily left as soon as it was over and Jessika kissed me hard on the lips again before getting up and leaving the room. I'm sure that's it for now. I don't think my body can take anymore sex tonight. But that changed when I stood up to get dressed and the door opened and it was Mattie. "I...hear...fun...Marls?" He asked with a beer bottle in his hand.

"Oh shit, just invite whole party." I told him.

"Bobby..wanna...watch..." He said.

"Whatever." I muttered as I sat back on the bed. "Use condom."

Mattie and I did it. Bobby watched. Then Bobby and I did it while Mattie watched. They left, Cole came in and we did it. When he left Roberta came in and we did it. When she left Freddie came back into the room. When he left Leonardo came in and we did it. Then Juliet again, then Emily and finally Mattie again. That's it, that's the last one. I couldn't take it anymore. I stood up and got dressed to go back to the party and upon my return with Mattie, everyone was asleep on the floor and couch.

"Oh God... I do this?" I laughed.

"Probably...you...do...all...silly." Mattie said as he walked over to Roberta and slept next to her.

He was right about that. I had sex with every single person at this party. At least twice too. It should be bad that I had sex with everyone but I didn't care and it felt pretty good. It was like when someone left the room, they would tell someone and and that person would come and find me. The cycle would continue. I laughed as I turned off the music and lights and went back to the bedroom. I stripped down to nothing and got into bed and turned the light off.

I should have another party soon.

* * *

**OK...wow. Marley is out of control. I know this is very OCC-Marley, but she's a wild one! What will happen now?**


	63. Darker Marley

**Glee Rant:**

** Okay. I watched it. I told myself I wouldn't but I felt like I had to because it's the last season, at least Becca is going to be in it (though I have weird reasons as to why she is the only newbie to come back) and for the sake of Cory. He'd probably want us to watch us and support his Glee family.**

**So, what do I say?**

**FUCK SUE!**

**FUCK BLAINSKY OR WHATEVER THE FUCK THEIR NAME IS! FUCK THAT!**

**FUCK THAT THE NEWBIES ARE GONE!**

**I kind of like the New Newbies. The twins are interesting, Jane is alright and the other kid (Roderick I think his name is?) He seems alright too. Take On Me was a good number, seeing the Finn plaque was sad.**

**Oh, and speaking of Finn. I want to see more Daniel Finn Schuester (Danny) soon! Oh goodness seeing Will as a Dad is funny.**

**Hmmm, it was alright. I mean not as good as in the past, because of these stupid new people they're adding that I will literally never remember and getting rid of the Sophomores. I don't know what Jacob and Alex are up too (Becca and Jenna, if you follow either or both of them, are always hanging out) but Blake and Melissa are working on movies and such. Or so. Yeah.**

**Oh and btw, Chris needs some sort of award for his acting after Kurt was told that (SPOILER ALERT) Blaine and Dave were going out. His acting in the bathroom? Wonderfully amazing. He needs an award.**

**Fuck that, give him and Blake and Melissa and Becca some fucking Oscar Awards.**

**Alright, Glee Rant is over.**

* * *

**63\. Darker Marley.**

When I woke up in the morning I had remembered everything from the night before. How could I forget all of what had happened? Not just drinking, not just smoking and not just inhaling drugs. I had sex. I had sex with everyone at the party at least once or twice. I couldn't believe that me, Marley Rose, did something like that. Nobody would ever suspect me of doing something so...wild. At least like that. I rolled out of my bed and put on my skirt and top, just like I did last night, and left the room. Everyone was just starting to wake up too.

"Fuck shit...my head." Bobby said as he sat up. "Damn it, I wanna pancake."

"Damn, Freddie and what's her face twin left last night and just asking now if I can give them a ride back to Long Island...stupid idiot cousins."

"Uh, that was a fun party last night," Emily sat as I sat down next to her with the rest of them. "Let's throw another party tonight."

"Nah ah, unless it's somewhere else." Juliet said. "Roberta?"

"Sure, I get house cleaned up..." She muttered. "And it'll have to be tomorrow night too."

I sat there with them listening to them and even speaking myself. I didn't bring it up but I was waiting for someone to bring it up. All the sex we had last night. I was just expecting anything to be said about it. But no, not one person said a thing about it for a while. Even as Cole made everyone breakfast for us and we kept talking about different things in relations to movies and music and new drugs to try out (I'm excited about that the most) and what was new with the stars in New York and Hollywood, nobody brought anything up. I sighed. Why did I want someone to bring it up in the first place? I should be embarrassed and yet, I wasn't. I wasn't ashamed of letting loose and having fun. It's like that song from the eighties; Girls Just Wanna Have Fun. Nothing wrong with that, right?

"I wished someone would of brought their phone so we could call for a cab. Fucking Marley here won't let us use her phone, the apartment phone ain't working." Roberta said.

"Hey damn Cole this taste good," Bobby took a bite of his bacon. "Hey so what time is the party at, Roberta?"

"I'll invite a large group of people since my house don't have a lot of neighbors to complain about noise, but I'd say y'all come around eight or nine." Roberta said. "Crazy people. Probably have some of them be friends from the club that's closed down for a while."

"Well that's alright, at least it'll be a legit party." Bobby said.

"Hey, should we bring anything?" Mattie asked. "I can bring a couple of beer packages, some grass, crack, coke and meth. Anything else?"

"Bring the six pack limit that can let about a hundred people have at least five bottles or six," Roberta said. "If you need to pay extra just let me know and I'll payback."

"Bring some of that alcohol that taste like strawberries in champagne," Emily said. "I'll text you the name of it."

"Well bring your own to, Em!" He said.

"Cool it Matthew!"

"I haven't had some cigars in a while so I might bring a couple of those too," Leonardo said. "And I'll bring more beer bottles too."

"Don't forget the weed." Cole added in as he passed his empty plate over to the small pile of plates I've build up.

"Hey if someone can bring vodka that'll be good." I said. "I like the red wine from last night."

"That ain't the only thing from last night you liked," Bobby laughed loudly. I rolled my eyes and laughed, pushing him jokingly. "Oh come on Marley, you screwed everyone from last night at least twice. Fuck, you had a few threesomes and I know for a fucking fact one of those threesomes was with two girls."

"Shut up, I don't remember a lot from last night." I lied. "Just some things."

"Oh, okay." Bobby winked.

"Um, excuse me, I only fucked you once!" Roberta said. "I fell asleep after I left and gave Mattie a blow job and fell asleep after that."

"Oh okay." I called back putting the plates in the

"Bobby and I got to watch her getting it on with one another." Mattie said. "Sure was fun."

"Weirdo." I said taking my seat back.

"Drunk high ass bitch." Bobby said. "Damn, anyone got weed on them?"

* * *

For the next hour and a half we all got high again on some leftover weed from last night. It wasn't too bad since we didn't get too high, we still knew where we were and what we were doing, but all the fun came when Cole got up and started doing some strange dance move that consisted of doing a headpin and ended up falling backwards into a chair. Mattie and Leonardo helped him up while Emily got on a table and demanded that she was the queen of the universe and we all had to obey her. That lasted a minute because than Juliet got up, pushed her off the table, and declared herself the real queen.

"Bitch you fucking stabbed yourself in the fucking heart," Bobby yelled at her. "You ain't no queen, you're an accident. You're Daddy told you that to your face! Cursed with you!"

"Fuck off Robert!"

"Hey! It's Bobby!"

"Shut up!"

They kept getting mad at one another. Roberta left the house for about half an hour before returning with wine bottles, beer bottles and vodka and started to pour them into the same pitcher I used the other night to get drunk off of and then stirred up the mix for everyone. We all grabbed large glasses of cups and started chugging them down.

My phone rang and it was Lark. "Lark?" I asked.

_"Hey Marley, I tried calling last night but no answer."_

"Oh sorry, a party." I said. "It got a little crazy."

"Crazy? Crazy how?" He asked.

"Like a lot crazy," I said to him. "I kind of...ya know...with a lot of the guest."

_"Oh really?"_ I could tell he was smirking. _"How many?"_

"All of them. It was just our close friends." I told him. "Including the girls."

_"Whoa, whoa, whoa! Marley Jane Rose had sex with a woman?"_

"Uh, a few actually. Roberta, Juliet, Emily and this girl named Jessika that someone is cousins with," I said. "And then, ya know, a few threesomes."

_"Oh my god and I missed all of this!?"_ Lark laughed. _"Holy shit, that's way more crazier than last night."_

"What happened?"

_"So Zandra and I, we're rooming together, and then we're at this party and we meet supermodel Gloria Galore and her friend, Glitter Glitter, and they started making out in front of us. Zandra was pretty fucking high on some stuff so she had no idea what happened but I was frigging excited as hell."_

"Did you do them?"

_"Nah, they went to have a threesome with some guy named Bobber Poppers. But I met that girl again, the one who I said looked like you, and the two of us hit it up all last night in the apartment. Zandra just finished yelling at me and told me to stop bringing sex home, but she's a little hungover."_ Lark told me_. "It was really hot sex."_

"Sounds like fun." I said. "So anything for tonight?"

_"Not much. Hey, heard from Ryder lately? I wanted to call him last night and see how his summer way but nobody picked up."_

"He's too busy fucking Bree that's who." I said. "Long story."

_"You okay?"_

"I'm fine. Just with the same people as last night and a party tomorrow night."

_"Cool. Gotta go now. Bye."_

"Bye."

We both hung up after that. I took a couple of more drinks of my major mega mix and felt some effects. Today was going to be a long day, I knew it.

* * *

I don't remember too too much, just a few things throughout the day. Everyone ended up staying and drinking and getting high off some of the leftover drugs from the party. We didn't eat too much and none of us felt like leaving. Sometimes different pairs of us would go back into the bedroom for a while and fuck around, even the married couple—Juliet and Leonardo—went with different people and screwed around in the back. I took the obligation as the night came to pull all the blinds down, close the curtains and put the big light on so we could still all see one another.

I remember snorting up a few things as well as putting some weed into my red wine glass and drinking it with the wine, making myself and the others around me laugh as we continued to party. After a while, maybe six or six-thirty, I stumbled onto the table top with a beer bottle in my hand and called for everyone to look over at me. Someone turned the music down as everyone, including Emily and Roberta making out on the couch, to come look at me.

"You...guys...are ma BEST FRIENDS!" I yelled in laughter. I took another swing at the beer bottle in my hand and chugged it down. "I suggest...we...PARTY HARD...like animals WE ARE!"

"Hell she...alking 'bout?" Leonardo asked.

I don't even know what I was saying, but I felt such a rush of energy inside of me to get crazy and wild and party hard. What's that saying? When you go party, always party hard? I took a final swing at the beer bottle before throwing it carelessly behind me and pulling my shirt up over my head, becoming topless once more. The party people friends cheered at the sight, not that they haven't seen it before!, and cheered on. I wobbled a bit as I pulled skirt down and then kicked it off. Now fully exposed I held my arms up in the air and yelled, "I strip my clothes off, just for all you guys, now let's go AYO! Come and strip yo! I wanna celebrate and be nude right now saying AYO, come a strip yo!" To the tune of Dynamite!

Everyone laughed, but nobody stripped down. I didn't care that I was the only naked person here in a living room filled with clothed drunks. I liked it a lot. Though I do remember someone slapping my butt cheeks, rubbing my breasts and someone bouncing me up and down on them a mimic of me riding them as if we were having sex. Nope, still didn't care.

Later through the drunk night some of the girls and I sat on the couch while the boys talked amongst themselves. Our conversation was well and halfway into it Juliet put her hand on my right breasts and rubbed it. Roberta made a side comment saying her boobs were better and Emily laughed at her. Roberta called Emily a bitch and took her shirt off as well as her bra for "proof" that hers were better. Emily took her top and bra off and said hers were better and Juliet joined in because she didn't want to be left out. Drunkily I stated that I was better since I took all my clothes off, being more brace, and that just made the three of them strip down to their birthday suites. The guys noticed and came walking over to us and examine each girls body; how different it was from the others body. There was a lot of touching involved between all the girls and I from the boys. Rubbing and pinching our breasts, our nipples and then sucking on them as well as biting them.

A while later I felt someone grab me. A guys hand. He said, "Condom on!" and the next thing I knew I felt himself inside of me from behind. I yelled out in pleasure as this action happened and they kept going. I moaned and told the person to go harder, which they did. Everyone around is watched and I saw Juliet whispering to someone about something. I felt myself finish off with whoever and within I a minute another guys hand grabbed me. I saw the first person hand a condom over to the new person and three minutes later I felt something enter me again. Again everyone watched. Then a third person went. Finally it was either Roberta or Emily, wearing that strap-on thing Juliet brought and then began fucking me on it. They were sitting down and I was sitting on top so I had to do mot of the work. I felt my body bouncing in excitement as I cried out and moaned. God, this was so fucking hot.

That's how it went for a while after that. Between the nude girls using the strap-on and the boys who either fully exposed their bottoms or just unzipped to get their dick out. I was the center of attention. Everyone was noticing me and I liked it a lot. I was popular. I didn't mind being passed around like a toy and being played with, I loved it. I loved being fucked by everyone around me and I loved that I was free. I was passed on from person to person, being screwed to both our pleasures and the sight of others who watched. A threesome occurred between Juliet, Roberta and I and then Juliet, Roberta and Emily had a threesome together. I sat there on the floor rubbing my already turned on breasts watching the three of them touch one another and make someone happy. Then between Juliet, Leonardo and I made the party for crazy.

I ended up having sex with a couple of more people, men and women, while drinking and smoking a cigarette before the party died down and everyone fell asleep on the floor. I was with Cole, who sucked on my breasts for a little bit longer, before we both finished up and Cole moved so an area that he could sleep in. I sat there finishing up my cigarette and then grabbed another one, a lighter and then made my way to the roof deck. I passed the digital clock and it read 2:15 AM. Wow, a very long party. And everyone outside I knew would be asleep so I wasn't worried about my neighbors seeing me in the bare.

I laid down on my back looking at the stars with the cigarette in my mouth. I've know I've said thing a lot, but my life has changed for the better good. I'm happy with there I am now. Who'd think innocent Marley Rose would end up like this? I'm my father now. Drug addict who gives no shit to anyone who is going to hold me back and only looking towards the future. And as the sun rose up, a new day beginning, I smiled.

I loved my life.

* * *

**Damn, Marley is not Marley. She's fallen over the cliff and going downhill.**


	64. Old Friends

**Gosh, an update?**

* * *

**64\. Old Friends.**

Everyone had to go back home when they woke up in the morning. Most of them don't remember what happened last night, anything at all. They just remember having sex with someone and drinking a lot. I, dressed in a shirt and jean shorts, gave everyone a banana on the go and once they finished I turned back to the room and saw the giant mess we all made together. Beer bottles all over the room, empty bottles broken in the sink, drug baggies and cigarettes crushed on the floor. I sighed as I rubbed my head. Wow, bad hangover.

I started most of the clean up, putting bottles in the recycle bin and then flushing all the drugs I could down the toilet. I vacuumed up all over the living room, the bedroom; all carpet surfaces and then for the other surfaces such as the bathroom and kitchen floor I used one of those Shark mop things that clean up ninety-nice percent of the floor and kill all the bacteria on the floor. Drug free as possible I then showered and got dressed in a pink crop top and jean shorts with converse and gathered all my dirty clothes into a giant garbage bag and carried it down the street to the local laundry mat.

I remembered doing this once with Lark, but I don't remember now...Damn it...how do I do this? Oh wait, now I remember...no, do I separate my whites from my lights and my dark clothes? Or can I put my lights and whites into the same machine?...no...Why couldn't I remember anything? Maybe...no... I guess it was—

"Excuse me, ma'me?" A male's voice behind me asked. I turned and look at him. About nineteen years old. "First time?"

Lie. "Yes."

"Oh, alright. I'll show ya."

The guy showed me how to do the laundry here, explaining what he does. Three washes and three drying; Darks, lights and white. If there was dark clothing with a random bright color then add it to the dark colors. Anything that didn't need to be dried in a machine could be hung up in provided bags at the front. I nodded and thanked him and started to do my wash. I started doing my wash and I felt that his eyes didn't leave mine. "What?"

"You okay? You're skin is kinda...off. And you're eyes are kind of red."

"Animal allergies." I said. "A couple of my friends have cats and dogs and when I stayed with last night I had a bad reaction." I said.

"Alright." He said and then left.

Once he was gone I pulled out my phone, opened the camera and had the camera face me. My skin did seem weird. Kind of...just weird. Maybe blotchy skin in some areas. Red around my eyes, but not all over; clearly a sign of some reaction to cause this and then my hair too. Thin and looked like string. Then I saw my face and the thinness it had. Same with my fingers and wrist and when I looked down at my body my arms were thin, my torso was thin and my legs were bony. Scary, but probably just normal for someone who is beginning to party hard. Right?

Several hours later I carried my fresh laundry from the laundry mat to the apartment. Along my way I saw several guys walking down towards my direction, but I didn't take noticed until we all passed one another and someone called my name. "Marley?" Sounded like Sam. "Marley!" Very much Sam.

I gazed back and saw Sam. And Artie and Finn and Blaine. All of them looking like they've seen a dead zombie or whatever.

"Oh...hello." I said to them. "What's up?"

They didn't say anything. They just looked the same. A dead zombie come back to life.

"Well alright then." I said. "Later."

I started walking away from them with the bag before I felt someone grab my arm and tug at me, easily since I was so light. Blaine pulled me back towards them. "You're staying with us from now on." He said calmy.

"Excuse me, I am a full grown woman and I can take care of myself."

"Not when you're dependent on drinking and drugs." Blaine said.

"Oh please and where the hell have you've been?" I asked. "I can do good on my own and you would believe that if you've seen me."

"We've been going to Paradise Disco since you showed it to us and we never see you." Finn said. "And we knew you weren't in Lima because we've called everyone we could and no one has seen you."

"Minnie said you were still in New York when I called her a few weeks ago, but she said you were working most nights."

"Yeah when I was fucking working. Now I'm not and living life." I said, pulling my arm out of Blaine's grip. "Now I'm having a fun time."

"Marley, drinking and drug abuse isn't a fun life. You can get caught."

"I managed to get out the other day." I said with a smile. "All by myself and then celebrated it with red wine and vodka."

"Oh gosh that sounds gross," Sam said.

"OH REALLY!? I AM SO SURE THAT YOU AND FINN AND ARTIE AND BLAINE HERE ALL GOT MASHED FACE AT ONE OF BIG PAIN IN MY ASSES PARTIES WHERE SHE AND BLAINE HERE MADE OUT AND SANG A SONG ON STAGE! ALL OF YOU BEEN SMASHED FACE AND NOW YOU'RE TYING TO TELL ME NOT TO? FUCK ALL OF YOU!" I yelled.

"I never got drunk. I was a driver." Finn said.

"Yeah and if you didn't hear, Brittany and Santana threw up on stage a few days later." Blaine told me.

"Then the rest of us after we got off the stage." Artie added.

"I haven't thrown up in a while assholes!" I said.

"Marley—"

"FUCK OFF BLAINE DEVON ANDERSON!"

"Stop having rapid mood swings Marley," Artie said.

"She can't help it dude. It's a sign and symptom of alcohol abuse and drug abuse." Finn said as if I wasn't there. Like I was invisible.

"Look in the mirror lately?" Sam asked me. "You're thin and look unhealthy."

"YEAH YELL YOU STOLE A GUBBY FISHES MOUTH!" I yelled.

Finn made his actions quick. Finn picked me up easily and I started to yell at him to let me go, but he didn't listen. He carried me across the street not caring about the eyes looking at us and into a store where he looked for the biggest mirror and placed me in front of the mirror. "Look as yourself Marley." He said. "This isn't you."

I looked and saw the unhealthy person he was talking about. But I saw also a beautiful, free, party wild child in that mirror. Happiness all over. "I love her."

"You're kidding me, right?" Finn asked. "This isn't you. This is not the Marley Rose at least I know."

"She's gone asshole. Deal with it." I said. "And maybe I'm just PMSing with mood swings!"

"Marley you have a drug abuse and drinking problem and you need help! If I could get in contact with Ryder I would tell him to come here and get you help, but he's not available for some reason." Finn said. "You have a problem."

"I don't need help because I don't have a problem. I'm living the life of a wild child!" I screamed in happiness. "You can't stop a wild child from having fun!"

"Marley—" Finn said.

_**Me**_  
_I come home in the morning light_  
_My mother says 'When you gonna live your life right?_  
_Oh mother dear we're not the fortunate ones_  
_And girls they want to have fun_  
_Oh girls just want to have fun._

I started dancing around the store, using mannequin to dance around as my dance partner, while everyone around us watch.

_The phone rings in the middle of the night_  
_My father yelled 'What you gonna do with your life?'_  
_Oh daddy dear you know you're still number one_  
_But girls they want to have fun_  
_Oh girls just want to have_

I got on top of a table and began dancing in a circle and doing some weird Egyptian dance walk, which caused some confusion and laughter from the others.

_That's all they really want_  
_Some fun_  
_When the working day is done_  
_Girls— they want to have fun_  
_Oh girls just wanna have fun!_

I kept singing until, not noticing where the table ended, I fell off the table and fell face first onto the floor. I heard some feet running over and hands pick me up.

"Marley, you need to stop. You need help." Sam said.

"No!" I yelled.

"Let us help you." Finn said.

"No!"

Then Blaine added, "We're going to help you whether you like it or not."

I said, "I have to use toilet first."

They guided me to the bathroom and I locked the door behind me. The window was shut, but I managed to open it and jump out the window to the ground. I jogged around the corner and caught the first bus in sight.

I sat down in the middle of the bus seats next to a window and smiling. Glad to be away from those old friends of mine. I have new friends and I like them a lot. Even if all we did was smoke and have wild sex. They were part of my life now and I loved this new life I had.

When I got back to the apartment my phone was buzzing. From the guys. Nope, not answering. I entered inside, lit up a cigarette and started making lunch and then get ready for the part tonight.


	65. A Party Of Unicorns

**Guys...this is a scary chapter.**

* * *

**65\. A Party of Unicorns.**

After the guys stopped calling me for about another hour I called Juliet to find out the plans for tonight. She and Leonardo could pick me up on the way to Roberta's house for the party. They said if I could get my hands on any amount of drinks and as many drugs as possible that'd be great, if not it would be fine because as far as she knew about thirty people were coming in total and everyone was bringing something to the party. I said I would try, when I knew I couldn't even try.

After shutting down all the blinds blinds and closing all the curtains in the apartment, I showered and decided to air dry (Yep, naked in the apartment once more) whilst watching a movie on TV and smoking a couple of cigarettes. I kept coughing a lot during the movie due to the cigarette but I kept smoking the cigarette. I smoked about three and a half packs when I saw I had to get some more. Not now, on my way out.

Lark called. Hmm, that was early. I picked up and answered him. "Hi Lark," I said."

_"Hey, how's my sexy lady?"_

"Nothing much, just finished showering a while ago and going out tonight." I said to him. "Another party. This is like the third party in a row I believe."

_"Ah I see. You and Zandra are both party wild girls. Last night she had a threesome with two other guys and then one of them left so she let the other guy stay over and they got wild last night." _ Lark said to me. _"Zandra and I are going to a party tonight too. If I make it good tonight I can make a million just off three to four pounds of drugs from Cuba that I got the other day."_

"Sounds like fun." I said to him. "I miss you."

_"Right back at you. Hear from Ryder lately?"_

"No. He's been ignoring me all summer and he's been M.I.A with our friends. He's just being weird."

_"Ah alright. Well if you hear from him, tell me what's he up too. I met these two guys the other day and I keep running into them and I thought they were brothers but turns out they're cousins and they kind of remind me of Ryder and I years ago. Just kind of missing my little cousin that's all."_

"Me too." I said. "So will I be seeing you soon?"

_"Five more days, I've picked up a couple more things to do. But I'm hitching a ride back with some new friends of mine. Hey Marley, I get to ride in a Mystery Machine lookalike!"_

"Oh sounds like fun." I said.

_"Call you later Marley." _Lark said.

"Later Lark." I said and hung up.

* * *

A couple of hours later I did my hair so it looked messy but sexy, eyeliner and mascara with peachy-pink lipstick. In the words of Kitty, I looked H-O-T-T Hot! I got dressed after that in a white mini tube top dress that ended a little below my thighs and was 1 size smaller than what I would or should be wearing. I also wore a jean vest with the dress and my black strap heels. Oh and my favorite part? No bra. Just underpants.

I had a cigarette outside on the deck waiting for Juliet to call me down to the car. I looked up at the dark sky with no moon and only a couple stars shining in the sky. It was a really beautiful night for a party.

I got the call a couple of hours later. Damn, and I just started my fifth cigarette too. Oh well. I got up and left the deck, locked all the doors and windows then went down to climb into the back seat of the car. I let out a puff and said, "Thanks."

"No problem." Juliet said. "Get a call from Lark?"

"Half hour ago. He and his friend Zandra were going to a party club tonight then heading to a friends house to party some more."

"Interesting." Juliet said. "Leo's going to stop by and get some beer and stuff before we get there."

"Alright." I said. I spotted a six pack here in the back. "Can I take one of these beer bottles."

"Go ahead." Leonardo said.

I took one, got the cap off with that cap tool remover thing and started drinking the bottle. Fresh and cold. The way I like it best.

* * *

We arrived at the party. It was already wild and crazy when we got there; loud music and everyone that was at the party was everywhere and all over the place. Juliet and I helped Leonardo carry in the alcohol and drugs and brought them inside. We put them on a table that someone pointed out as the 'Party Props' table. It was overfilled with alcohol, lots and lots and lots and lots and LOTS of alcohol. She said everyone here had drugs to share on them. I smiled and asked if cigarettes were also here. She nodded. Perfect.

I went and found a cigarette and smoked it. I went over to the Party Props table and poured a mix of vodka, wine and beer into a red solo cup, mixed it together and then chugged it down. Yummy. I decided to sit on a chair and enjoy the music playing.

Everyone got wild a crazy. Being themselves, like Unicorns, and enjoying themselves. I've had ten drinks of vodka-red wine-beer mix and twenty cigarettes already and was getting closer to partying. Someone came up to me and offered me a joint they had. Of course! I took it from them as I finished my cigarette and placed it in an empty cup I had. I took the joint and smoked it. Wonderful.

Whoa...this was probably the strongest joint I've ever had in my life. It felt good and powerful. I wanted another one as soon as I finished this one. I got up and looked around for some more. Everyone was high and drunk that they didn't notice anything, not even me taking three more of the joints and a lighter and leaving the room to get high. I grabbed some other drugs too and carried those with me upstairs to one of Roberta's room.

Upstairs I started to to smoke a joint. I laid out the rest of the drugs and saw some cocaine and prescribed medicine. Should I take the medicine? I've done it in the past with Zandra so it shouldn't be too bad. I took some of them and opened the capsule above the table and then crushed up the cocaine pills and used my index finger to mix all the powder together. I took out the joint from my mouth, leaned down and snorted up all the powder in a couple of sniffs. I leaned back up and wiped away the extra powder before putting the joint back in my mouth.

I swallowed some pills, more cocaine pills, started my second joint and sniffed up some more pills.

It had to be quick, though I'm not sure how quick it was, but I was definitely high by now with all the different drugs in my system. It felt awesome and wonderful. I threw all of it away into the trash bin next to me and went the room to get more. No, I _left _ the room to get more.

Downstairs nothing changed too much. Just more partying and getting high and high. I laughed as I took a glass of wine and drank it. Damn this party was going to be fun. I could feel it on the inside...or maybe that was the drug.

* * *

Hours flew passed rapidly. I don't remember a lot of things that happened. Only some things...getting over the top high and drunk. Dancing with a couple of guys...walking into people who were making out in the closet. I remember getting a nose bleed sometimes after snorting up things and someone mentioned my glassy eyes looked red, but I shrugged it all off and sipped a drink for celebration of having red glassy eyes. I took depressants, some sort of gas drug, more prescribed medicine, a few more joints and sniffed up some crack.

I felt strange. My body felt overheated, I felt sweaty, I felt hungry but I wasn't hungry, I kept seeing Unicorns and little trolls and leprechauns all over the room and dancing around in their underwear. Yes, even the unicorns had on underwear. I giggled the whole time as I chugged back a drink. I felt someone come up behind me, a male, and I felt him nibbling at my ear. "Hey baby," He slurred.

"Hmmm?" I turned to find a blonde hair and brown eyed boy about twenty years of age.

"I've been watching you all night," He said. "Wanna go somewhere...private?"

"Condom?" I asked him.

"Hmmm, I got some." He told me.

"Okay." I giggled.

We held hands and be brought me upstairs to one of the empty rooms. Once we were inside the room we started making out and landed on the bed. Things happened quickly between making out and leaving hickeys all over each other's necks. I got all of his clothes off and helped put the condom on. He took off my vest and pulled the top of my dress up so that it ended up at my waist. He kissed all over my chest and I arched my back and moaned. Eyes shut I was in the moment until I heard someone call my name. _"Marley," _ It sounded like Ryder. _"Marley."_ The voice said again.

"Ryder?" I called out.

"Hmmm, call me whatever you want baby," The boy said as he sucked on my left breast again.

_"Stop it. Don't do this. Not with him. He's sick."_

"Hmmm sick...whaaa?" I called aloud and now looking for Ryder. All I heard was his voice, I couldn't see him. "Who sick?"

"Nobody sick baby, just you and me." The boy said as he finished sucking and began sucking on my right breast. "Yer yummy,"

_"Don't do this Marley. He's sick."_ Ryder said again. _"Please, get away from him...Now Marley. Go."_

As much as I hated Ryder I knew what he was looking out for me. I pushed the guy off of me and stumbled off the bed. "I...I go...I go...sorry."

I was a few steps away from the back when I felt someone jump on to of me. I started screaming but a hand went over my mouth and the boy, calmly, told me to relax and said I was going to be just fine. No...no...Not him...he sick...Ry said...he sick...no... I began moving as much as I could to get him off of me but he managed to pull my dress back down to my waist. His free hand reached around and began squeezing my breasts. I screamed through the hand...no...no...not happening. Not happening. I spit into his hand and he left go. I started to get up but he grabbed the bottom of my dress, which caused it to fall down and I tripped on it; smashing my face onto the floor. The boy's hand went onto my panties and pulled them down. I screamed again but he covered up my scream with his hand again. He shifted himself up as I kept screaming louder and louder. He told me to shut up and clam down, but I kept screaming. I felt him rubbing his hard dick all over the surface of my butt, telling me how proudly he was of being so hard and turned on my a beautiful brunette. I shook my head...no...I don't want this. NO! I felt him lean back and get ready.

Oh shit. No.

The door opened, with some people standing there sucking faces and turned to find us. "Hey, what's going on here?" The man asked. He didn't sound too sober or drunk.

"Get out!" The boy yelled.

I started crying and shaking my head like crazy.

"You sick fuck! Get off of her!" The girl yelled.

The man she was with pushed the boy off of me and tossed him backwards. "Jerry! Get your clothes on and get the fuck out of this party!"

The Jerry kid obeyed the kid. He put his pants on, grabbed his shirt and shoes and hurried out of the room. I had already pulled my dress back up and grabbed my jean vest from the ground as well as my shoes.

"You okay?" The girl asked me.

I nodded.

"Did Jerry rape you?" The man asked me.

I shook my head. No, but close to it. "No...playing...sex scene..." I muttered.

"Oh, acting out a sex scene? That's always fun," The man smiled. "Alright then...you wanna stay in this room?"

"No, going to party." I said with a grin.

* * *

I went downstairs and had a couple more drinks. And more drugs. Anything to get that memory out of me now. I chugged down a bottle of vodka and two bottles of wine.

A few hours later I was asleep on the couch next to Cole when I felt someone tap me. I turned and saw the man looking at me. "You okay from earlier?"

Earlier? What happened earlier? I don't remember.. But I nodded and smiled. The man seemed pleased and left with a girl holding his hands, who winked at me.

What the fuck are they talking about?


	66. A Deal And More

**Guys...this is a scary chapter.**

* * *

**66\. A Deal And More.**

I drank and got high all night. I don't remember a single thing about the party, the beginning or the middle, but I vaguely remember the ending. Bobby left early with his cousin to go to a bar that was still opened, so Emily and I hung out smoking four boxes of cigarettes, snorting up stuff different things and then ended up going upstairs and sleeping together.

When I woke up to the birds chirping I saw Emily still sleeping next to me with the covers covering half her body, her bare upper half exposed to view. I looked down and saw myself exposed fully with no covers on me. I had a killer headache but I managed to roll out of bed and get my clothes back on and left a note for Emily. Just a simple thing. _Emily, it's Marley writing this. In case you wake up and start freaking out about who you slept with, it was me. _I then proceeded to leave the room and go downstairs where half the party was gone and the rest of them was sleeping. I heard someone in the kitchen and found Cole.

"Do you ever get hungover?" I asked him.

"Not too much." Cole said. "Hey so I saw you and Emily last night getting it on. Marley bi now?"

"No. I still love men, I'm dating one. I just...get wild at times now I guess." I said. "I don't remember a thing last night other than Emily and I sleeping together."

"Yeah, lots of crazy things. Hey ever heard of a guy named Jerry Richer?"

Jerry Richer? Jerry? Jerry. Jerry. Jerry. Jerry. Jerry. Jerry...Nope. "No, never heard of a Jerry. Why?"

"I heard from some people he nearly raped a girl last night. Nobody knows too much about the girl and Jerry's cousin and her boyfriend found him and the girl. They don't remember either and Jerry doesn't either."

"Oh shit really?" I asked.

"Yeah. The girl had on a jean dress with a white jacket, dark very light brown hair...or red hair, that's what Jerry's cousin Ashley said. One dark blue eye and one dark green eye. Seen a girl like that?"

"No." I said. "I don't remember a thing like I said. Just sleeping with Emily."

"Ah well alright then. I guess it's not too bad since nothing happened." Cole said. "Hey so i guess you can take anything you want since there are leftovers." He held up a backpack. "Roberta got these for people to hide drugs and drinks and such. Take one and stuff it."

"Halloween!" I smiled taking the backpack. "Thanks Cole."

He nodded. He then said, "Hey, if you're note busy tonight do you wanna get together?" He winked.

"Sure." I said. "Just come on over."

He nodded and left to get some beer bottles in the fridge. I turned around and started collecting different bags of weed, crack and cocaine, pills, beer bottles, more weed and I found twenty boxes of cigarettes filled fully. I grabbed some lighters and then left the house with my candy back. I took the first bus that I found that would bring me to the train station and get me out of Long Island and all the way back to the city.

On the train ride I read a magazine I found when it hit me. That girl that Jerry nearly raped. That was _me. _ I got myself into that situation. Oh shit...holy shit...how did...oh my God! How did I get to that point? And who the hell stopped me? Someone stopped me from having sex with him and I mean before his cousin and her boyfriend stopped the whole thing. A voice. Someone's voice. Who? Strange.

* * *

I got back to the apartment after getting off the train and going food shopping with some money I found on the ground of the train station. Nobody was standing around and it wasn't in a wallet, had it been a wallet I'd go to a police station and leave it on someone's desk for them to find and call the owners, but it was just random money on the ground. About fifty dollars.

I put the groceries away and then opened a bottle of wine. I started to drink straight from the bottle and opened a cigarette.

How could I be so stupid? Sleeping with someone I didn't know? I mean I've had a few random hookups but those were different. Now this happened? I need to keep focus. No having sex with someone unless I know them. Now how was I going to remember that when I'm drunk and high? Maybe I should lower my drinking and substance usage.

I drank a full bottle of wine. Hmm. I wanted more.

* * *

I got out of the apartment and to the local liquor store where Eddy worked. I entered inside and saw Eddy up front and walked over. "Eddy?"

"Hi Marley." He said. "Pretty girl like you I remember your name."

"I don't remember saying it."

"Your I.D." He said. He leaned in and whispered. "The fake one, remember?"

Wow..he knew then? "How did—"

"I can tell real and fake. It's fine though, you look old enough to drink with heavy make up on." He said to me. "It's been dead this week. Boss hasn't been in all this week either so I'm full stock of everything."

"I need red wine. Fancy kind. And some beer bottles." I told him.

"Right this way." He said and guided me to where the red wine was.

I followed him down to where the red wine was. He pointed out the different kinds and gave a background story on each bottle. Who made is and where it came from and how special it was and what even it could be used from. As he kept talking I looked around when Eddy wasn't looking and I noticed that the video cameras around the store weren't moving. Strange. "Those cameras aren't moving like the last time." I said.

"Oh yeah they're broken. Have been for a few days. We're getting new ones tomorrow." Eddy said. "And this one here is from a little vineyard in Germany, made by a couple of widowed sisters."

"Uh huh. Um, I'll take a couple of bottles the French ones. Oh and three bottles of the white wine you mentioned that went with the red ones." I said. "How much would that be?"

"Including the four, six pack of beer bottles?" He asked. I nodded. "One hundred fifteen dollars and thirty cents."

"What the fuck? What are these, specially made?" I asked in anger.

"Sure. But the box you can put them in are for free." He told me. He smirked and said, "Unless you can pay me back tonight." He winked.

"But I have plans..." I muttered. Damn, now what? I wanted these but couldn't afford them. Then an idea came to mind and since the camera's were off it seemed perfect. "What if I showed you something?"

"Depends on what you showed." He told me.

Smiling with a sexy gaze in my eyes I took off my jean vest and held it in my arm. I pulled the top half of my dress down and revealed my breasts to Eddy. His got a wild grin on his face and his eyes perked onto my breasts. "How's this for payment?"

"Beautiful," He said. His eyes never left view with me. "Those are beautiful. Your boyfriend is lucky."

"I know." I said. "Now can I get those for free?"

"Hmmm maybe," He said. "Two of them for free at least."

I took both of his hands and placed each one on my breasts, letting him feel their softness and he squeezed them. "How about now?"

"Two more free ones." He told me.

"How can I get them all for free?" I asked him.

He grinned. "I can lock the store for a break and I've got some condoms in my wallet," He told me. "Make love with me and you'll always get a discount here."

Damn. Why did I feel this would happen? Oh well, I don't mind. I'm not drunk or sober. But to be sure. "If we start and I change my mind, will you stop."

"Promise." He said.

"I'll break a wine bottle if you don't."

"Well Jesus lady I know that and for every bottle broken I have to pay for it. I'm already giving away over hundred dollars." Eddy said. "So we doing this?"

I nodded. "Yes."

* * *

Eddy guided me to the back of the store and showed me the room. The windows were locked and curtains closed. He went back to the front to help some customers and said he'd be right back. I sat down in a chair and waited for him, rubbing my breast with my hand.

_"Don't do this Marley." _ A voice said. _"Don't do this." _

It sounded like Ryder, but it was probably just from the wine I had. So I ignored the voice.

Eddy came back into the room with a smile. "Ready?"

I nodded. "Ready."

We stripped down and fucked. All over the room. He was rough but fine. We did it once, then a second time and a third time. When he finished Eddy stood up and started to get dress. "That was good, you're a good one."

"Hmmm," I said sitting up, covering my torso. "So free wine now?"

"Yep. Free wine." He said. "I'll get it all set for you."

He left the room. I laid back and relaxed. Well that wasn't too pleasant but I got free wine out of it. I got up and re-dressed and got to the front carrying another bottle that was grape flavor I found. Eddy got it all set up for me and then I was on my way out.

"Come back soon," Eddy winked.

"Will do." I lied. Never again.

* * *

I got back to the apartment and put all the wine bottles away. I called and left a message for Cole telling him to come over around 9.

I got drunk and high again.

By the time Cole came over I was drunk and high off of crack and weed. Cole said I had a bloody nose, but he helped me with that. He had a few beer bottles while we watched a movie. We watched a second movie and halfway through that I stripped out of my jean vest and dress, taking my panties off too, and said, "Fuck me Cole!" He took his pants off, put a condom on and began trusting into me. We finished.

I took his hand and pulled him up and walked. "Where going?" He slurred.

"My room. We're gonna fuck in there again."

"Naughty girl."

"I know!" I giggled.

* * *

**Whoa. Marley.**


	67. Heroine Juliet Needle

**Title explains it all.**

* * *

**67\. Heroine Juliet Needle.**

Cole slept over. When we woke up the next morning neither of us put our clothes back on. We kept the blinds and curtains closed and just stayed nude for the time being. Cole was a naughty boy and kept rubbing his hands against my breasts, but I didn't care. Some of the time I would take his hands randomly and put them there, tell him to squeeze them, and have fun with that. We had sex on the living room floor; with me riding him and screaming loudly as he held my waist. When we finished off we laid next to one another and smoked some cigarettes. Cole had to leave around four so by three-thirty he got dressed. We talked a little more and hugged before he left for the rest of the day.

I didn't get dressed. I didn't plan on leaving. I was bored. What now? Well Juliet had work off today, I know that. I picked up my phone and texed Juliet. _**Hey, are you free tonight for you and Leonardo to come over? I'll make dinner.**_

She replied back. _Leo's working, but I can come over and stay over for the night if that's cool._

_**Totally. Bring some 'candy' if you can.**_

_Will do._

**_Hey, one thing, do you care if I'm not wearing clothes? I've been like this all day and unless you want me too get dressed, I don't feel like putting on a dress or anything. But I will if you want me too._**

_Oh no, do whatever you want. Hell I might do the same as soon as I get there._

I smiled as I replied OK to her and then started watching TV.

* * *

Two hours passed by and Juliet came over with her big bag and a smaller bag in her hands. I had already told her that the door would be opened, just be sure to lock it. She came up the staircase and we smiled when we saw one another. She came over and joined me on the couch. "Hey Marley, I brought the candy." She winked. "And some other stuff I got from a friend."

"Cool." I said. "I'll make pasta for us if you want."

"Sounds good." Juliet said. "So how was your day?" She looked me up and down.

"Good. Cole came over last night and stayed over, and we he didn't have to leave until four so we just kind of hung out all day like this." I said. "Smoking and having sex a few times."

"Sounds like a normal." Juliet said as she stood up and pulled her shirt over her head, revealing her blue polka dotted bra. "I brought over _Mean Girls _to watch later."

"Alright," I said as I stood up, knowing what she'd want me to do. I put my hands on the back of her bra and unclasped the hooks. I pushed her straps down as she pulled off the rest of the bra and tossed it somewhere. "I'll start making the food."

Juliet turned to me and nodded. I left for the kitchen as she pulled down her jeans and then her panties. She took a seat on the couch and watched the show I was watching.

About fifty minutes later Juliet and I were eating the pasta and meatballs. We finished a first plate and then Juliet had an idea. She told me to lay on the counter and close my eyes. I did as she said and waited. I heard her shuffling the kitchen and then come back over to where I was. She told me she was going to put some sort of thing on me and to just relax. I did. Within minutes I felt something cold hit my left nipple and opened my eyes to find whip cream on it. Juliet, holding the can, put some on my other nipple. She placed some in between my breasts made a giant heart on my torso, made a mountain on my womanhood and then put the can away. Juliet leaned down and began licking the heart off. I moaned. She licked off what she put between my breast, sucked and licked off my breast nips and then licked off my whip cream covered womanhood. Juliet was naughty. I did the same thing to her. She loved it.

We kept spraying whip cream on one another and licking it off of one another getting more sexual at the minute. When we finished I put the leftover dinner away and Juliet went to go put the movie on.

* * *

A little over halfway into the movie Juliet got up, went to her bag and pulled out some weed. She winked. I giggled in excitement.

We got really high. That plus the wine we've had all night made everything seem so relaxing. Juliet reached into her bigger bag and pulled out a belt with a strap-on attached to it. She winked again and I giggled as I laid down on my back on the couch, ready for the fun to start. She placed the belt on and walked over to me.

We went back and forth for a while. Every position we could think of. No, it wasn't like Ryder and I on that one night where we made love 13 times in a row, but it was close to that. Eventually we stopped using the belt and used our hands which was kind of gross but we were both perfectly fine with it. When she finished having sex we stayed there on the floor breathing in and out for a while. I grabbed the cigarettes off the table and lit one for myself and handed the box to Juliet, who actually declined it.

"Hey...what was...candy...fun...surprise?" I asked her.

Juliet cralwed over to her bag and dug around. She pulled out a bottle and a needle. She crawled back over. "New needle I got...not used...got some...stuff...crack and...something...not sure...heroin I think." She said as she sat on her butt. "I did once...was fun...want to try?"

I nodded excitingly. New drugs and a new form of taking them. Juliet set it up and held the needle to my forearm. "Ready?" I nodded. She smiled as she stuck the needle it. Like the one at the doctors office. I saw the liquid mix inside leaving the needle and entering my body. I did't feel anything happening to my body but I knew something could happen soon.I smoked on my cigarette and watched Juliet inject herself in her arm too.

She tossed the needle away and then leaned in and kissed me. I pulled her face in and then pulled her on top of me, ready to go wild again with her.

* * *

It didn't take too long to get the effects of using crack and heroine. I felt at ease with everything, enjoying sex with Juliet and feeling wild and proud of myself. But soon enough it wore off and I came back to reality. Actually I came back when Juliet finished fucking me and then stopped. I wanted to get high again. I crawled over to the needle and took it, filled it up with the mix and injected it into my arm again. I turned around to find Juliet taking the belt off. My turn.

I got high off the liquid mix. Juliet and I finished having sex and just laid on the couch together, breathing slowly and deeply. "Should get...Em or Jess...soon."

"Agree." I said. "I love this, I love my life."

Ten minutes passed. I sat up and shifted myself so I was straddling Juliet. I leaned down and kissed her on the mouth. "Let go all night." I winked.

"Yes Ma'me," She giggled as she put her arms around my neck and brought me into a deep kiss. "Just hold a minute."

She got up and grabbed the needle. She then took some crack and weed and laid it on the table. She snorted up the crack and weed and injected herself with the he drug mix. I followed her same pattern and snorted up drugs and injected myself with a needle. Once finished Juliet took my hand and walked me back to the bedroom. I giggled.

"We gonna have fun!"

* * *

**Uh oh.**


	68. A Rainbow Of Candy

**Sorry this is kind of short, but a needed chapter.**

**Glee Rant:**

**So I watched the other night, the recent episode. Well, sort of. I was more interested in the Becky storyline, her boyfriend is AMAZING, and OF COURSE BRITTANA!**

**Not so much Kurt's storyline. **

**Now Coach ****Beiste... that is a twist of events. I never thought Beiste felt like that before. I'm still in shock about it, but it's Glee and of course the show is going to do something like that. So that was good. Proud of Coach Beiste for going through this! :)**

**Glee was good tonight, very good.**

* * *

**68\. A Rainbow Of Candy.**

I felt someone moving around when I woke up in the morning. I was cold as the bed sheets weren't on the bed and I felt like I had just slept ten minutes ago and now my body was waking up at a natural time. I remember a lot of things from last night. Everything. It was fun and I wanted to do more. I then remembered that Lark was coming home tonight so I got excited when I remembered that. I sat up and looked over to the side of the bed, finding a nude Juliet sleeping on her side with her butt facing me. I grinned. I found myself taking my hand and rubbing her butt up and down and soon Juliet turned over to look at me. "Hi."

"Hi." I said. "Wild us last night."

"Hmmm," Juliet said. "Leo texted me a while ago asking how the night was and I replied to him this," She pulled her phone from the floor and opened her messaged. She showed me her answer and his response.

_Wild. Very wild. I might have to divorce you and marry Marley so that we can fuck all the time. Hell, we'll be nudist too._

**No divorce. Just let me live there and be that actual dick you'll crave for at time ;)**

I giggled when I read that. It's pretty cool that Leonardo is fine with his wife having sex with other people. I laughed as I grabbed my water bottle and chugged down the water. Wow, my mouth was dry. I put the bottle down and said, "Can you stay for a while?"

"Until one, then I have to go home and get ready for work." Juliet told me. "You hungry?"

"No." I said as I laid back down on the bed and looking at the ceiling. What now? I felt the bed shifting again and within a second Juliet was straddling me with a smirk on her face. I knew what she wanted, so I smirked too. Juliet leaned down and kissed me hard on the lips.

She fucked me first, then I fucked her. When we finished we laid down on the bed and cuddled closely in each others arms. We slept for about another hour before I woke up to use the bathroom. I used the bathroom then grabbed some cigarettes, the belt on the floor and returned to the bedroom where Juliet was still laying on the bed. "Juliet," I called out. She sat up and looked at me and grinned at the sight. I dangled the belt out and grinned. "I'm first."

We fucked a few rounds, taking turns wearing the belt again, and making the other one pleased. When Juliet had me orgasm for the fifth time that morning she took the belt off, tossed it to the side, then leaned down and began eating me out. I had another orgasm and she cleaned me up. "Yous tasty girl." She muttered. I giggled.

"Thank you." I said. "I like that belt."

"I got it at this store over on Ryver Dale Avenue Street." She said. I've been on that street before to get Italian and Chinese takeout. There was a sex store there too that sold toys. "You should go check it out sometime. And the guy who works there, Dale, he's a dealer too so mention my name and you'll get some sort of deals."

"I think I will." I said.

We stayed in bed until Juliet had to get ready to go home and ready herself for work. After she got dressed we made out on the bed for a while longer and then she really had to go. Juliet left the room and I heard her locking the door and leaving the apartment. I sat there on the bed. Alone, bored and naked. What now?

* * *

I got dressed into a pink short sleeve shirt that ended near my belly button and black skirt with my brown boots. I left the apartment and made my way towards Ryver Dale Avenue Street.

I got there and entered the store and looked around. It was filled with a lot of things, but I found myself in the area where dildos were sold. I felt embarrassed being here so I just went to the front where Dale was standing. I'd seen him on a picture Juliet showed me earlier. He looked to be about thirty years old with tattoos up and down his arm and a mo hawk.

"Little young to be here aren't you?" He asked me.

"I'm a friend of Juliet Pratt," I told him. "She told me about some deals."

"Oh yeah those deals," He said. "Follow me."

He brought me to the back room where he had a million boxes and cases. He turned back and faced me. "Drug a la Dale. Pick yer poison."

"What do you have?"

"Everything." He said.

I tried to think of what I wanted. Weed, crack, heroin, meth, any kind of pills, something called liquid X and Hashish and Molly. Why not? Go for the fun with Lark tonight. I told him all that.

He told me the price to pay for those, plus the dildo. Too much to pay for. "Hey, what if I showed you something or did something."

"Oh?" He grinned. "Like what?"

I pulled my top up in front of him. He looked and seemed pleased.

"Good, but do something else." He said. "Strip down and I'll be right back."

He left the room. I stripped down to nothing and waited for him to come back. Dale came back in minutes later holding a video camera in his hands. "I locked up for the next hour." He winked. "Pretty girls like you are like actresses."

"Y—you're going to tape this?" I asked him nervous.

"Yep," He said as he began setting up the camera. "I wanna remember doing a girl like you."

"Oh, sure...can you get some pillows first?" I asked him. "I like pillows. And condoms. I'm not having a baby now."

"Sure. Give me ten minutes."

He left the room closing the door behind him. Quickly I looked around the room to see if there was a secret hidden camera back here. I didn't see one so I went over to the camera and took the tape out. The recording light was still on, but no film to copy what the thing saw. I smirked as I hid the tape inside of my bag and returned to waiting for Dale to come back.

He returned with a pillow and some blankets and a smile. "Ready?"

I nodded. "Condom?"

"Condom." He held up the package.

I nodded. "Okay then."

* * *

That was...the worse sex I've ever had. He made weird sounds and tried speaking dirty but he didn't sound sexy. I had to fake an orgasm with Dale and afterwards when he packed up all the drugs for me I told myself to never come back here again. But the drugs are worth it.

After I left the store I passed some teenage boys who started a fire in a trash can. I pulled out the video film strip and tossed it in the fire. Then the video tape itself and watched both of them burn. Perfect.

I hurried back to the apartment. I put the drugs away and put some of the wine bottles into the fridge. I texted Lark and asked him to tell me when he was coming back.

An hour later he called me.

_"Marley?"_

"Hi Lark, when are you coming back?"

_"About that...there something I should tell you."_

"Are you okay?"

_"What? Yeah, I'm fine. Just business that's all." _He said to me._ "So I have this big business deal with this guy and it's pretty serious too. I mean very serious. If the deal and plans work together, you my dear, are talking to a very rich man. Three times more than a Kardashian."_

"Really!?"

_"Well...not...really...but up there,"_ He laughed. _"I'm going to be here for another week though. That's the thing."_

"Oh...so you aren't coming back tonight?" I asked sadly. I missed him and wanted him back here.

_"No, next Friday."_ He said to me. _"But you've been telling me that you've been fine for the time I was gone. Just do what you've been doing for the time and then I'll be back soon."_

"Yeah, I guess I can." I said. I really wanted him back thought. "Promise me you will be back thought, right?"

_"I will do. I promise." _ Lark said. _"Say tell you what, when we get back we'll throw a celebration party."_

"Sounds like fun." I said. "Call you tomorrow?"

_"Sure. Bye Marley."_

"Bye Lark." I said.

I hung up after he did and sat there on the couch. Lark wouldn't be back for a week? That's horrible...I wanted him here. Perfect. Fucking perfect.

I slept on the couch for a while and had no dreams. When I woke up I remembered the drugs in the bedroom. And the red wine.

I made a large glass of wine for myself, grabbed a lighter and some cigarettes and made my way to the room. I pulled out of the clothing drawer the things I got earlier. I grabbed some crack and weed joints. I lit up a cigarette and smoked that first. While smoking that I crushed up some of the crack on the table next to me. I took the cigarette out of my mouth and snorted up the crack. I wiped off the extra near my nose and puffed out another cigarette before having a drink of wine.

"I guess I could do this for another week," I said to myself as I grabbed the needled from the bed and put in the drug liquid into the needle tool, then placed that needle inside of my arm and pressed the button down and let the drug release into my veins. "How bad can it be, right?"


	69. Chandelier

**Wooo, so this is the BIG chapter. The big reason why I wanted to write Marley Jane, the song that kind of inspired this story. Oh Grilled Cheesus.**

_Marley singing/dancing on stage_  
**(Action Marley is doing in real life)  
**

* * *

**69\. C****handelier**

I'm a party girl now. Though I was alone and by myself most of the day there was usually someone who came over to visit and as soon as they came over, my constantly high and drunk self would just start making out them them. They'd accept it and soon we'd strip down and make our way to the bedroom. I didn't care if the windows were opened or closed these days, the public should know that I'm a free wild child now.

Whomever I was with, boy or girl, they enjoyed the time we had too. Squeezing and sucking on my breasts and eating me out as well. I ate people too, boy parts and girl parts, and that also included a couple of threesomes I had with people who came over.

Actually one time a few friends came over, boys and girls, and we had this large group sex thing happening. The condom covered guys sat on the floor and the girls would sit and ride them until we all came and then the girls would stand up and move to the next guy. We did that for a couple of hours and it was the hottest and sexiest thing to happen.

God, it was just all so hot and sexy.

When the people came to visit they'd bring along some beer boxes or wine bottle and lots of drugs. They'd end up leaving some of it behind by accident, so I had a lot of them in the house. I didn't want to waste any of them though.

I drank nothing else. No water, no milk, no flavor water—nothing. Just wine, vodka and beer bottles. Call it wild but I'd take some drugs, crush it up, and sprinkle it into the wine and drink those with the wine. The rest of the drugs were snorted up, injected and smoked. Sometimes I had no idea where I was and then the next second I'd wake up with a headache and bloody nose and my clothes stripped and thrown all over the place.

I forgot about my friends. Some of them. But then they'd pop up in my head and depending how they made me feel I would either drink or use drugs to forget them.

My nose kept bleeding out the most of the time. I felt like my teeth had fallen out (they hadn't, I checked) and I felt like my gums were bleeding all the time too.

I was always thirsty for beer and wine and drugs, but never hungry to take anything else.

I recieved a text from an unknown number. I looked and saw it was a picture message with a caption. Bree. With a sleeping Ryder next to her. She looked like she was in her underwear. Stupid bitch. Fucking Ryder.

After that I grabbed a punch bowl and poured in two bottles of red wine and two bottles of vodka, took a straw and chugged the mix down my throat. I held it down for a few seconds before throwing up. It wasn't a quick "bleh" sounds, it was more of a longer one. "Bllllleeeeeeeeeeehhhhhhhhhhh" sound. When I looked back to the vomit it was so revolting, sometimes I'd throw up again because of the first time I vomited.

Oh and the voices in my head. Tina would say, _"Stop vomiting! You're going to mess things up for **MY** life!"_ and Kitty would say, _"Bulimic loser!"_ and Ryder would say something like, _"Damn crack baby bitch. I'm with Bree and she's a lot better." _And a bunch of other shit voices reminding me of being a loser and a crack baby and not good enough for anyone other than someone who is also a drug user. Fucking voices. Every time a voice spoke to me I had to try and rid it as soon as possible so I would drink bottles of beer, like just chug those things down, or drink a bottle of vodka and then snort up crack.

Fucking voices. I wish Lark was here. I want Lark here so I wouldn't feel alone nor be alone taking these drugs.

Cole had some leftover bottles of beer, vodka, red wine and lots of joints and crack and heroin and other things and asked if I wanted them, in exchange for sex. I was high on drugs and drunk but capable to understand the deal. I pulled him in, stripped myself of my bra (the only thing I had on) and helped Cole strip down to nothing and after putting a condom on him I jumped into his arms, making out with him and we started fucking one another. When we finished (five rounds later) Cole had to leave. So I was left with eight 12 packs of beer bottles, ten red wine bottles, three bottles of vodka and lots and lots of drugs.

* * *

Thursday night I was alone, fully naked and smoking a cigarette while using the dildo on myself and felt myself cumming to an orgasm. I kept thinking of Lark and Ryder...and then it turned into Lark, Ryder and I having a threesome and it was so sexually hot that I felt it was real and when I came and then opened my eyes I was disappointed that it was all in my head. Besides if I spoke of it the two cousins would probably vomit up, but secretly find it hot.

I stood up and returned to the bedroom and grabbed a tank top and threw that on with a pair of jean shorts and my black converse shoes with my hair down and a little messy.

I left the bedroom and went to the window to finish my cigarette and throw it out our the window. I did and then went into the kitchen to get a class of red wine and vodka. I passed by the counter that laid weed joints, crack pills and crack dust. I poured a glass of wine and vodka mix and sprinkled on some of the weed and crack dust. I mixed it all up and chugged it down. Before returning to the couch I snorted up a the crack. I grabbed a joint and lit it up to smoke.

I returned to the couch and finished turned on the TV to see some award show ending. Ten minutes left, not too bad. I watched the TV screen as I smoked the joint. The host of the award show invited Sia up on stage to sing her number one song, Chandelier, for the audience. I've heard that song all summer and loved it. Her vocal on the song is so damn powerful. I still have no idea why when she sings live she has her back face the audience but the lyrics of the song and her voice are powerful.

I wished I could be just as good as Sia. Have songs that are powerful and...golden. I guess.

"Wish...Sia... guts have," I muttered. "Damn her...Rachel probably thinks that she...better...Sia singer...Barbra hoe...shit." I smoked in another joint.

* * *

Probably an hour (or more accurately; six bottles of beer, three glasses of wine, five boxes of cigarettes, seven joints, six snorts of crack and four injections of heroine) later, I was...somwhere. I don't even know where I was. In the bedroom or living room or even bathroom? Where ever I was I drank down a bottle of vodka-wine mix with some beer in it as well as crack dust, weed and chugged that down with some crack pills I had in the apartment; all while smoking a large joint I found in a joint bag. I was laughing and smiling to myself as I shut my eyes to calm down a little bit.

I opened them and found myself on a stage. I had on this beautiful outfit. I was wearing a black jersey banded one shoulder top with a pair of jean shorts and black heels with silver studs on the heel. My hair was down and curled at the end and I had on a pair of silver chandelier earrings; medium sized ones. I looked beautiful and I felt powerful.

I turned around and saw an empty stage with a spotlight shining on the stage. A crow of people were in the audience calling out my name. Chanting loudly in a musical tone, "Marley! Marley! Marley! Marley!" over and over again. I felt my nerves go away and some confidence in me build up with every call of my name. I hear some voices call me from behind and I turned to find Ryder, Rachel, Tina, Lark, Mr. Schue and Finn standing there looking at me with grins.

"Go for it Marley, show them what you got!" Mr. Schue said. "Glee has prepared you for this. This is your moment."

"This is the time of your life Marley. Go and make seven year old Marley happy, or however old you were when you performed on stage." Finn added.

"Marley? I hope you can forgive me for being a bitch to you all year. I really wanted to be here and support you on your big moment," Tina smiled. "You're a wonderful singer and super talented."

"Even more than Barbra and I." Rachel told me. "Go for it and make Joni Mitchell proud."

"Get a move on kid," Lark told me. "The crowd is a-waiting."

I grinned and nodded to them. I loved the support I was gaining from them and before I could move an inch Ryder stepped forward with a bigger smile on his face. "I love you Marley."

"I love you too, Ry." I smiled.

Ryder leaned in and kissed me. I could literally feel his lips on mine and I remember how it felt to be kissing him. I missed these lips he had and I missed his face, his smile, his voice...I missed everything.

We pulled away from the three minute kiss, as the crowed keeps chanting for me to make my stage debut. I smiled at everyone one more time before going out to the stage. The crowed starts to cheer as I got near the microphone and once I was there I let the crowed continue for another minute or two. After that I pick up the microphone and speak into it.

"Are you ready for a fun night everyone!?" I asked, knowing the answer right away. The audience in the performing center screamed loudly and chanted my name at the top of their lungs. "I won't make you wait any longer my awesome fans! Here we go!"

The audience's voiced died down as the music began.

_Party girls don't get hurt_  
_Can't feel anything, when will I learn?_  
_I push it down, push it down_

**(Marley snorts up some crack while injecting herself with a liquid mix that contains heroin, X, crack and other things)**

_I'm the one "for a good time call"_  
_Phone's blowin' up, ringin' my doorbell_  
_I feel the love, feel the love_

_1, 2, 3, 1, 2, 3, drink _**(Marley chugs down red wine)**  
_1, 2, 3, 1, 2, 3, drink _**(Marley chugs down more red wine)**  
_1, 2, 3, 1, 2, 3, drink _**(Marley chugs down even more red wine)**

_Throw 'em back 'til I lose_ count  
**(Marley takes crack pills and swallows them with a bottle of beer)**

_(Marley takes the microphone off the stand and starts singing and dancing)_

_I'm gonna swing from the chandelier, from the chandelier!_  
_I'm gonna live like tomorrow doesn't exist_  
_Like it doesn't exist_

**(Marley snorts up weed and crack mix from the ground floor, wiping away blood from her nose)**

_I'm gonna fly like a bird through the night, feel my tears as they dry_  
_I'm gonna swing from the chandelier, from the chandelier_

_But I'm holding on for dear life, won't look down, won't open my eyes _**(Marley chugs down vodka)**  
_Keep my glass full until morning light, 'cause I'm just holding on for tonight_  
_Help me, I'm holding on for dear life, won't look down, won't open my eyes _**(Marley chugs down more vodka)**  
_Keep my glass full until morning light, 'cause I'm just holding on for tonight_  
_On for tonight_

_Sun is up, I'm a mess_  
_Gotta get out now, gotta run from this_  
_Here comes the shame, here comes the shame_

**(Marley smokes a joint as she starts spinning and dancing around the room she's in, still thinking she's on stage entertaining her audience)**

_1, 2, 3, 1, 2, 3, drink _**(Marley chugs down a beer bottle)**  
_1, 2, 3, 1, 2, 3, drink _**(Marley chugs down more beer)**  
_1, 2, 3, 1, 2, 3, drink _**(Marley chugs even more beer, then snorts up some weed from nearby)**

_Throw 'em back 'til I lose count  
_**(Marley takes some random pills from the ground and swallows them with a bottle of beer)**_  
_

_I'm gonna swing from the chandelier, from the chandelier_  
_I'm gonna live like tomorrow doesn't exist_  
_Like it doesn't exist _**(Marley mixes vodka, beer and red wine together in a big glass bowl and mixed it together)**

_I'm gonna fly like a bird through the night, feel my tears as they dry _**(Marley chugs down the alcohol)**  
_I'm gonna swing from the chandelier, from the chandelier _**(Marley adds drugs to the bowl and starts drinking it again)**

_But I'm holding on for dear life, won't look down, won't open my eyes_  
_Keep my glass full until morning light, 'cause I'm just holding on for tonight _(Marley sees someone in the audience and notices someone in particular...her Mom, Millie)

_Help me, I'm holding on for dear life, won't look down, won't open my eyes_**  
(Marley's head starts becoming dizzy. She has no idea where she is and feels like her body is exploding into bits and pieces and everything around her is becoming blurry)**

_Keep my glass full until morning light, 'cause I'm just holding on for tonight_  
_On for tonight_

**(Everything is now blurry. Marley can't make out where she is going, what she is bumping into do and has no idea what she is drinking, what she just snorted up and what is happening to her that makes her feel like her energy is running out)**

_On for tonight_

_'Cause I'm just holding on for tonight _**(Marley snorts up different drugs from the ground)**  
_Oh, I'm just holding on for tonight_  
_On for tonight _**(Marley chugs down red wine)**  
_On for tonight_  
_'Cause I'm just holding on for tonight _**(Marley starts smoking a joint and a cigarette together)**  
_'Cause I'm just holding on for tonight _**(Marley chugs down vodka)**

_Oh, I'm just holding on for tonight_

**(Marley feels like her energy, or her body, something of the matter; is shutting down)**

_On for tonight_  
_On for tonight_

* * *

I finished my song, feeling overly fatigued and like my energy was gone and it wasn't just because I was spinning on my toe during the last several lyrics. **(Marley injects herself with some more liquid like drugs into her arm)** I looked and saw Mom with a bright light surrounding her. I wanted to hug Mom. **(Marley finished her cigarette and joint, putting them in water cup, and snorts up some crack.) **But I felt my body breaking down, my energy going out as I wanted to hug Mom. I told myself I had to hug her just this once. I had too.

I took a step forward...

Everything went black.


	70. Cousins

**No Marley in this chapter, much, just Lark and Ryder.**

**Ryder is _pissed off_ in this chapter at the start. So _warning: _Lots of big boy swearing.**

**Fun fact:  
Apparently Jenna had stated in interviews in the past that Tina is adopted, but RIB never let that storyline happened until that one time when Tina was applying to college and that brief life was said.**

**Wow, bad move RIB. Tina being adopted would of been a good storyline for her and Rachel to bond in earlier seasons.**

* * *

**70\. Cousins.**

**Lark POV**

This sucks. This really sucks. No, not just because my phone's been turned off for the past few days for an overdue bill. It's because of _her _ That I'm depressed as hell.

This was a perfect way to end my week. A funeral. A fucking funeral.

There was going to be a funeral back in Lima. But for now we had one already with candles and some pictures of her. It really sucked.

I ended up taking a bus home. I got a ride with a bunch of Woodstock Wannabe Hippies who were passing in New York to get to Canada. They were pretty nice and let me smoke on their bus, but I had to decline all the weed and beer bottles they offered every few hours. I wasn't in the mood for that stuff. One of them, April, asked what was wrong. I told her. She was pretty high so I don't think she believed me.

They dropped me off near the airport, the same one Marley and I had a cigarette and smoked before going inside.

Damn.

I decided to have another quick cigarette before I went back home. I sat on a bench and lit up a cigarette and began smoking it. Memories of her came to me. She was my best friend. We've been friends for months and it's horrible as to what happened now. I remember all the talks we had, the conversations, the times we got high and drunk and the couple of times we had sex. Yep, we had sex a few times. It was pretty good but weird at the same time...not very comfortable.

Stupid.

**Ryder POV**

I got off the bus and grabbed my suitcase from the bottom part of the bus. Son of a bitch was getting his ass kicked. She would just get a stern talking too, but he was getting his motherfucker ass kicked.

I walked away from the bus and towards the inside of the airport to find a phone and call for a cab, when the sight of someone with blond hair sitting on a bench caught me.

That son of a bitch.

**Lark POV**

Hey...is that Ryder? Oh, it's Ryder. What's he doing here? He seems pissed...oh Shit, he better not mess with me today. I'm not in the damn mood to deal with him right now.

**Ryder POV**

Son of a bitch is dead.

**Lark POV**

Don't mess with me Ry, not today.

**Nobody POV**

Ryder started to walk over towards Lark. Lark stood up, finished his cigarette, and began walking over to Ryder. When they were both close to one another Ryder threw his bag down. Lark said, "Hey Ryder. What are you—"

Ryder threw the punch first, knocking Lark to the ground. Before Lark could make another move, Ryder pounced on him and began throwing slaps and punches into Lark's face. Screaming 'Son of a bitch!' and 'Asshole!' to him. He grabbed Lark's shirt collar and began bashing his head up and down on the ground. Lark gained the strength to push Ryder off of him and pin him against the ground.

"Ryder I'm not in the mood for this fighting shit!" He yelled.

"You no good, God Damn, son of a bitch, motherfucking asshole, son of a bitch, drunk druggie alcoholic asshole!" Ryder screamed at the top of his lungs. "I hate you! I hate you! I hate you! I HATE YOU!"

"You think I care if you like me or not!? I don't care if you like me or not! But don't mess with me today Ryder!" Lark yelled. He then looked more at Ryder's face. "Ry, did you lose weight?"

Ryder used his strength to turn Lark over and pinned him down this time. "You son of a bitch! You just had to do it!"

"What the hell did I do now!?"

"You just _had _to drag Marley down the hill, didn't you!? She was a perfectly normal girl who was already in a shit struggle with her weight because of a stupid bitch at our school tricking her into thinking she had to lose weight and showed her how to stuck her fingers down her throat. Then everyone including some adopted Korean-American teenage senior girl made Marley feel like complete shit when we lost at Sectional's first and then her boyfriend with a dumb ass last name breaks up with her because he hates weak chicks and her home life goes down when her Mom loses one of her jobs! Then you pop around and make things worse by letting her join you on your adventures of breaking the law and being a wild drunk!"

"Huh?" Lark asked. That was a lot of information.

Ryder slapped him across the face. "You brought Marley down hill!"

"Dude!"

"Don't 'Dude!' me asshole!" Ryder slapped him in the face again. "If I had a knife on me and there weren't any witnesses around I"d fucking stab you right now!"

"Get off of me Ryder! I'm not in the mood for this!" Lark yelled as he pushed Ryder off of him. "I'm not in the mood!"

"Oh what!? You need some crack or weed and a bottle of beer to get in the mood!?" Ryder asked. "You can't even fight without breaking the law."

"Not even close you idiot." Lark said. "I've had a miserable week."

"Oh what did Marley and you drink twenty-four seven?"

"Maybe a few times and some other things, but she said y'all broke up so it didn't matter." Lark said.

Ryder's eyes went big. Did...Did he mean...what he meant. "Dude...did you guys...have sex?"

"I walk talking about the 'candy' mostly, but that too. But y'all broke up after the school year ended."

Ryder lost it.

Ryder lunged after Lark again and began pounding him. Calling him every insult word he knew in his head and giving Lark rosy red cheeks from the slaps and then grabbing his blond hair into his hand and bashed his head several times into the ground.

Lark, pissed off now, threw Ryder off of him and pinned him down stronger than before. "Listen here Ryder, I am _not_ in the mood to deal with you right now. I'll take the shit later. I just had a fucking funeral for someone and I have to go to another funeral in a couple of days!"

"Who died, your drug dealer?"

Lark slapped Ryder. "Listen to me Ryder, I'm not in the mood."

"So your drug dealer did die."

"No idiot, someone you and I know."

Ryder's face went pale white. "Marley?"

"No, my friend Zandra."

Zandra? Zandra who? "Zandra?"

"Zandra McPherson. Purple streaks with a gray beanie with dark gray shirts with a black sweater and jeans. You know Alexandra McPherson. Hangs with Stoner Brett and them?"

"Oh, Alex?" Ryder asked her. "We had a class together once but then she skipped the rest of the year."

"Sounds like her."

Ryder nodded. Then it hit him. She died? She...no...Alex/Zandra was the exact same age as him and Marley and some other friends. "What?"

Lark released Ryder and sat on the ground. "She'd dead."

"But...she's so young. She's my age," Ryder pointed out. "How did that happen?"

Lark sighed. He felt a lump in his throat. "She just...she went over the limit with the drugs and drinking. One day she's alive and happy, but drunk and high and doing some weird shit and I'm sitting there watching her doing it. I went to bed and that was it. The next morning I woke up and I found her on the kitchen floor with no heart beating and her mouth was opened and this foamy like stuff was coming out of her mouth. I called 9-1-1 but she was already gone."

Ryder looked at Lark. He saw how miserable his cousin was and couldn't imagine what it must of felt like to find your best friend lifeless on the ground, when just mere hours ago they were alive and very well happy with themselves and their lives. That's horrible.

It took Ryder a minute before putting his hand on his cousins kneecap. "Sorry for being an ass."

Lark sighed. "No worries." He said with little emotion in his voice. "So, you're looking for Marley?"

"Yes. I need to talk to her." Ryder said.

"She's probably back at the apartment," Lark said as he got up. "Come on, I'll take you there," He said grabbing Ryder's hands and pulling him up.

"Thanks." Ryder said.

"No problem." Lark said. He picked up Ryder's suitecase and then his own. "So little cousin, where've you been all this time?"

"Lark it's a freaking long ass story." Ryder said. "Lark?"

"Yeah?"

"You're still a fucking ass for bringing Marley down hill."

Lark laughed. "When am I not an ass?"

* * *

**Oh the cousins made up!**

**What will happen now?**


	71. The Fog Part I

**Sorry it's been forever! I have no legit reason as to why I haven't uploaded, I just haven't uploaded**

* * *

**71\. The Fog. Part I.**

I opened my eyes from the darkness and I saw that where I was wasn't the apartment anymore. I had no idea where I was; all I knew was that I felt very warm. I felt like there was only positive things around me even though there was nothing around me. Actually as things became more clear I realized this fog-mist was suppose to be here. It was like the mist you see in horror films; the teenager or single woman goes by the mystique forbidden swamp and of course when they go all there is is a mist of gloom around the air. But this mystique fog was warm.

I took in a deep breathe of air and released it, finding myself clean. I've had that smoke taste in my mouth ever since I began smoking cigarettes and, eventually, weed, but my lungs felt totally clear now. Like nothing was in them. Nor did I feel high or drunk.

"Hello?" I called out. "Is anyone here? Hello?"

Nothing.

I took a few steps forward and found myself barefooted. When I looked down I saw myself wearing a white, short sleeve dress that ended near my knee caps and a gold glitter belt around my wait.

"Weird." I said.

I walked around the mist looking for...anything. But if I'm alone here than what was the point of walking around in an unknown area?

"Hello!" I called out. "Is anybody here!"

I walked further and further until I saw this bench. The bench was gray and had a couple of daisy flowers and peonies surrounding it. I walked over to the bench and sat on it. "Hello!" I called out again. "Is anybody here!?"

I didn't hear any calls or sounds. I sat there alone. What was I suppose to do here?

"I wished I had a cigarette," I muttered. Suddenly there was, in my was-once-empty-hand, a cigarette that was already lit. I smiled. I put the cigarette up to my mouth and inhaled the flavor. I pulled the cigarette out of my mouth and released the smoke. "Nice."

I finished the cigarette a few minutes later. I dropped it on the ground, picked up a rock and pressed it so that it could completely be crushed. I laid back on the bench and looked around some more.

"Hello!?" I called out.

I heard something. A giggle, particularly a small child's giggle. I stood up and listened for the giggle again. I heard it. I walked to the distance of the giggle, finding myself walking along a beach that appeared and still a gloomy mist.

I followed the giggle until I reached the end of the beach and saw a small child. The child was a girl, due to long brown hair, and had on a beautiful blue dress and was throwing a ball up in the air and catching it. She continued to giggle. I walked closer to the girl and realized that I don't think she could hear or see me. Just as I got closer to her, she turned around and I nearly fell backwards. This was me. I was seeing myself when I was about four years old. She looked at me with a huge smile before handing the ball to me. I took it slowly from her hands and looked at the ball. I glanced back up and saw that Mini Marley was gone.

"Marley?" I called out my own name. Strange. "Marley?"

_"Marley!" _I heard my Mom's voice call. Mom!?

"Mom!?" I called out.

I followed the sound of the voice, passing by a small playground, and coming at a stop by the swings. I remember these swings. I use to go on these all the time when I was a little girl. I looked around for Mom and found nothing at all.

"Mom?" I almost cried. Where was she?

I turned and saw Mini Marley again, with a young Mom and...Dad. We were having a picnic on a blanket. Mom looked so beautiful and Dad looked good too. Dad had me on his lap and was putting pudding on my nose and making me laugh. I stood there watching that. It was beautiful.

I shut my eyes for a brief minute before opening them and finding myself alone again at the park. Where were they? I heard these little girl voices from behind me. I turned around and saw a group of girls that I went to school with when I was younger. Connie and her crew. Thirteen year old Marley was curled up in a ball crying as Thirteen year old Connie and her crew continued to tease her. _"Mary Jane! Mary Jane! Mary Jane!" _I wanted to go over there and stop it, but I couldn't move my feet. What the hell?

I tried moving again but failed. After a third attempt I fell forward and hit the ground. Damn that hurt. I struggled to get up and when I finally did, I felt someone pulling me up too. When I got up I brushed myself of the grass bits sticking to me and brushed off my arms and hair too. I gazed to who picked me up and was in total shock. Mr. Schue?

"Mr. Schue?" I looked at him. Now I was really dreaming. Like...seriously dreaming.

Mr. Schue didn't say a word. Instead he pointed down a cobblestone path. The path wasn't lined up perfect, just bits and pieces placed closely to one another. I looked back at Mr. Schue with a puzzled face. Did he want me to walk down the cobblestone path? I guess this Mr. Schue guy could read my mind as he nodded. I looked from him back to the cobblestone path then back at him. Alright then.

I began walking down the cobblestone path. It was all dark and misty and creepy. Soon enough I came across a misty glow at the end of the cobblestone path. I kept moving forward towards the misty glow and walked into it. I was worried about where I was going in this misty glow.

I stepped out of the misty-glow and found myself in the back of the school auditorium. I could spot Mr. Schue and a few Glee members down near where his desk was. Why did this all seem familiar?

_"Next audition...Marley Rose." _Mr. Schue's voice echoed.

Like an out of body experience I looked on the stage and saw myself. My first time singing for Glee, in Glee. My newspapers boys cap, my sweater that covered the upper half of my stripe dress and my shoes. Definitely a healthy looking Marley to begin with.

_"Hello. My name is Marley Rose and I will be singing _New York State of Mind _by Billy Joel." _The girl on stage said.

The music began and I watched my own audition. I was good. I looked like I had little confidence, but there was some confidence in there too. I smiled at myself on the stage and as I came to an end I could feel a lot of positive warmth in the room.

There was another misty glow to my side. I walked into it, walked a little down into it, then came out and found myself in the Glee classroom in my pink sweater and jeans. Everyone was pretty warm and welcoming, except Tina looked annoyed. I rolled my eyes.

Another misty glow showed up. Again I walked through that and this time I was in a tunnel. The tunnel was still misty, but each side of the tunnel showed a memory from Glee club. First it would appear on the left, take a few steps forward and another would show up on the right, take a few steps forward and another would show up on the left and so on and so forth. They showed the happiest times in Glee. Meeting everyone, Grease auditions, meeting Ryder...and some bad times like Kitty showing me how to puke in the bathroom at her sleepover. Then a few more times when I puked in my own home. But other memories were of being with my friends in Glee club. The further I went down the bigger the memories appeared. One showed Ryder telling me why he had to cancel out date, then minutes later after Kitty spoke to me I found myself asking Jake out. I'm a bitch. Then the last one appeared. Sectionals. It was us performing _Gangnam Style _and I saw, from this point of view, how shitty I looked. The last couple of memories I looked shitty and miserable, but I remember feeling happy, and now I see how...horrible I looked. Then it happened. I fainted. Ouch, how didn't I kill myself? Op there goes Ryder first...now Jake...now everyone else...My eyes fluttered opened and Jake and Ryder pick me up and we all leave the stage. God, I wish I could tell everyone to get back on stage.

I left the misty tunnel and found myself at the bench again. Alone. That was...strange. Like I was looking at my far back past. Eerie feels creep up my skin, clawing my skin. I shook my head off and sat down. "I need...a box of cigarettes and a lighter. And a bottle of beer."

The beer bottle appeared in my left hand, the cigarette box and light came into my right. I opened the bottle of beer and began drinking it. It taste so delicious. I leaned back to chuck it all down in a final few gulps. I sat back up, placed the bottle back on the ground, took out a cigarette and began lighting it. I put the cigarette into my mouth and smoked.

"I needed this after that tunnel thing," I said aloud to myself.

A few minutes passed and a darker misty glow appeared. It was darker than the first one. Knowing what I was suppose to do I stood up and continued smoking my cigarette and entered the misty dark glowing tunnel.

Like the first tunnel, memories played on the left and right sides, each one appearing after a couple of steps. The first one was after fainting with Sue telling us we lost...then me going home crying. The next was the next school day I attending and all that shit began. Tina not letting me at the table, then Jake breaking up with me...meeting Stoner Brett and Lark...wow, did Lark seem healthy back then. Not now. Just us talking and I remember the conversation we had, then going on his motorcycle and getting pizza. The next memory was in Glee club a while later and Tina bitching at me. Then I blew up in her face, calling out "Bullshit!" to her about that whole New Rachel shit, and being sent to take a walk in the hallway...then Lark adding me as a friend...Ryder coming up at the door and telling me to stop being friends with Lark...Mom's jobs...Then the day after or so with Brett giving me weed and seeing myself in an out of body experience...it was creepy. I looked so weird getting high. The next couple of memories showed me smoking a cigarette for the first time, Mom catching me, me skipping classes to smoke, Ryder and I confessing our love for one another at the Sadies Hawkins dance right after he thought I was going to shoot up drugs with Lark's needle.

It then followed by Ryder and I making love on Valentine's Day. I stopped to watch that. He was such a nice person, taking his time with me and making sure that my first time was OK and as perfect as possible. I loved that night. But it went back to the more gray memories; me sneaking out to drink with Lark all sorts of bottles of beer and being hungover. ... Then Moms death... Damn, I just wanted to not see this...not this...not this...not this! I tried not to cry watching this, but I did... I cried watching Mom's body being lowered to the ground. Fuck damn it. Then it showed Finn catching me smoking after school and bringing me to Mr. Schue... Damn. It showed Minnie and I drinking that night, though she was downstairs and I was upstairs with a cigarette in my mouth. Then the school finding out the following day...I wanted these memories to stop now. The next was the party Minnie and I went too and Lark was there...then Lark and I got drunk and high and I cheated on Ryder...with Lark...screaming at Lark on the phone...pregnancy scare...not pregnant... The next few memories showed Lark and I hanging out and doing all sorts of things...going to National's and Finn screaming at me when I come back to the hotel late. Then it showed me standing at Ryder's hotel door and him pissed; this was when he learned I cheated on him with Lark and had a pregnancy scare... I felt horrible...we somehow made up after that, but I felt horrible.

A few minutes passed...finally it showed me in a moment and I remember that moment. It was the moment when I decided to go to New York and bare Ryder's feeling of hurt. It showed me getting ready to leave...writing the note...then at the rest stop where I got drunk and high and Lark had to get me into bed. It showed moments later Lark and I in New York...then Spotlight Diner and meeting Kurt again...Rachel being a pain in the ass...then Lark and I back at the apartment and drinking and smoking...Lark and I partying...then making out...playing truth or dare and becoming naked...then making love. Then the memories just showed all of that; drinking, smoking, smoking weed and having wild sex.

I existed out of the gray toned misty tunnel, came back to the park bench, and sat down. That was both good...and bad...but strange too. I had two more cigarettes before coming across another one of those tunnels. But this tunnel was darker. Almost completely misty black tunnel... I didn't want to go through that. I felt like it was a bed decision to do, but I felt the tunnel pulling me inside of it...that's when the worse memories came.

It didn't matter the order it came from. It all showed the same memories. Me, seeing in an out of body experience, getting high and shooting up lots of drugs and drinking non-stop and having sex with different people. Wild, wild sex. It was so scary seeing this...was this really how I behaved? I knew I was wild and free and partying, but I didn't think I would look so scary...it frighten me. How in the world did I become like that? How? How did I get that way? Oh God...and half the people I did...gross. Oh, I had sex with girls too? Well...that was different...weird. Oh few threesomes...weird...okay. Oh..did I really strip down to nothing whilst everyone else was dressed in their clothes? Did I really become the only nude person? Really? Oh... OH... Oh my God! Did I really let people do that to me? Pass me around like some toy to fuck with and then get passed along? Did I really let them do that? How did I get that far? Oh... Oh and the guys all sitting in a circle with a bunch of condoms and us girls were riding a guy, cumming, then getting up and moving onto the next guy.

How...how did I become...Marley Jane?

It showed me becoming darker...drinking more and taking up lots of drugs...drinking and taking in needle shots...how did I become like this?

I came out of the tunnel. I sat down on the bench... I just saw my life flash before my eyes. I didn't realize how wild I become. I knew I was being different and my confidence and self-esteem had risen up but I didn't think _that _was how I was behaving. Maybe I was really like Dad? No, I'm not Dad. I'm worse than Dad. Dad just drank and sold drugs. As far as I knew he never had sex with people and even if he did probably not as many.

How did I become like this?

* * *

**AAANNNNDDD That's an update! Whoot, where are we going now?**

**P.S I saw Melissa and Blake pictures at that Independent Film thingy event that went too on 2/21/2015. Wow, Melissa looked beautiful and Blake looked good too. Strangly hard to image that just two years ago they were playing high school students and now they look so grown up and mature.**


	72. Say Something

**So did anyone see that picture of Otis from Melissa's instagram account? ADORABLE! Funny, my aunt's dogs name was Otis too.**

* * *

**72\. Say Something.**

_Beep...beep...beep...beep...beep...beep__...beep...beep...beep...beep__...beep...beep...beep...beep__...beep...beep...beep... _

God Ryder hated that sound. He hates the damn annoying sound from that stupid yet wonderful machine. That stupid machine mocked him, reminding him that the person it was hooked up too was still in a deep coma. For how long? Not sure, it's a coma. She's already been in the coma for three days and he has never left her side at all. Not even once. Not even to use the toilet, he' avoided food and drinking to prevent bathroom breaks. But then he loved the machine because it reminded him that she was very well still alive and, maybe if a miracle worked, she would awaken.

It takes a miracle though.

Ryder gazed at the brunette goddess and couldn't help but smile. Yes, it was depressing looking at her hooked up to a machine with tubes up her nose, but she looked so beautiful. Just as always she's beautiful to him no matter how she looks to him. He brushed a piece of her hair back again even though it was already brushed back. Just touching her hair made him feel better. Her very soft brown hair felt a little dry from lack of washing it but he loved touching it. And even though she had some wrinkles from smoking cigarette her skin was so soft and beautiful to him.

Marley Rose. The goddess of beauty.

"I love you," Ryder whispered to Marley. "I know you can hear me."

Nothing.

Ryder heard a knock on the door and saw it was Finn. Finn and the other guys got the call from Ryder three days ago, as soon as Ryder and Lark arrived at the hospital, and soon enough the rest of the Glee club heard about Marley's emergency problem. Mr. Schue said he would fly out in a few days and the rest will keep texting/skyping with everyone in New York to get updates on Marley. They got in contact with Minnie, who was worried as shit when she heard that and asked if there was anything she could do for now. Ryder said nothing now, but if Minnie had to report the accident. Minnie told him that Marley's social worker _might _already know, from the New York hospital calling her number since she is Marley's social worker... but then bitched that she, her guardian, had to hear it from RYDER and not NEW YORK HOSPITAL herself.

"Hey Ry, how's it going?" Finn asked.

"Nothing's changed." Ryder reported.

"Have you slept? Or eaten anything?" Finn asked coming in closer.

"No." Ryder said, never losing eye contact on Marley's face. "I can't. I want to be here when she wakes up."

"Why don't you take a break. I'll watch her for a while."

"I want to stay."

"You need a break Ryder. Go get some food in the cafeteria and then come back here to take a nap. If something happens between then I'll call you asap."

"I want to stay." Ryder repeated.

"Ryder, go take a break." Finn literally pulled Ryder off the chair and pushed him away from Marley. Ryder kept trying to look at Marley. "Go get lunch, use the bathroom, come back and use the couch outside of the room to take a nap. I promise I will let you know if anything happens. I promise."

Ryder knew Finn was right. He had to eat and get some rest so he was fully good for her when she came out of the coma.

"Thanks dude."

"No problem." Finn said.

Once Ryder was gone Finn took his place on the chair, looking at her. Marley was like Finn's little sister so he really had deep bad emotions to this. He wished he had tried harder to stop this from happening. Go to her apartment and not leave until Marley was done. But he knew addiction were hard to get over. He's seen and read stories about it.

"Hey Marley," Finn spoke to her as if she was alert and looking at him. "When you get out of this coma you and I are going to watch that Judy Garland movie you mentioned once to my Mom. That one with the song Easter Parade. I want to watch that but only if you're with me so you need to come out of this coma." He said. "My Mom wants you to visit her and go clothes shopping with her when you get back to Lima. Don't make my Mom depressed Marley."

Nothing happened.

"Wake up, Marley."

* * *

Down the hallway Ryder sat in the orange chair glaring at his food in disgust. The mashed potatoes looked like shit, the peas looked like shit, the grilled cheese sandwich looked like shit, the carrots looked like shit. His soda had the flavor of shit in it too. All of it was complete shit to him.

He pushed the tray away from him and dug out his phone. His parents texted him, asking how Marley was, but he ignored them just to look at his photos. He clicked on the album entitled: Marley and Me. He smiled, remembering when he told her the album title name and she rolled her eyes. The album showed all the pictures of him and Marley; some friends send to him that they had taken and some selfies the two of them took together. She looked so beautiful in them all.

Ryder caught a glimpse from the top of his eyes, the orange tray being pushed back towards him. He looked up some more and saw Lark standing there looking back at Ryder. Ryder looked away from him.

"Come on Ry, you have to eat this stuff."

"Not hungry."

"You haven't had anything for three days. Eat something."

"I'm not hungry Lark. Get away from me, asshole."

"Look I get it you're pissed at me but you have to eat something." Lark explained.

Ryder rolled his eyes before going back to his phone. Within a few seconds Ryder's phone was taken away, resulting in him standing up quickly (knocking the chair over) and screaming at Lark. "What the hell!?"

"You eat this food right now and you'll get the phone back."

"I'm not hungry! So give me the damn phone back!"

"Ryder Lynn, eat the damn food."

"Fuck the food!"

"Ryder!"

Ryder punched Lark in the face. Lark released the phone and Ryder caught it in his hand. He turned away and left back for the hospital room. He can't get over it. It's Lark's fault that Marley is like this. It's his fault she's in a coma. It's all his fault.

He still can't forget three days ago when they got back to the apartment.

* * *

_The cousins got back to the apartment Lark and Marley had been living in during their time in New York. They knocked but she didn't answer. Lark dug out his keys and placed them inside of the door hole and opened it. "Marley?"_

_No response._

_"She might be out getting food." Lark said. "She'll be back soon."_

_"Right." Ryder said as he observed the place. It smelled like shit, cigarettes and weed all over the place and pizza boxes thrown all over the place. "Lots of take out."_

_"Dude, having pizza when you're high is awesome." Lark said._

_Lark told Ryder where the bedroom was, to put his bags away, while he opened a few windows. Ryder followed down the small hallway to the bedroom door. It was cracked open a bit so Ryder had to push it open further. He pushed it and turned the light on...and went pale as hell._

_"MARLEY!"_

* * *

Ryder shook off the memory. He didn't _want _ to remember what he saw. Marley's body on the ground, a bottle of empty vodka in her hands, a needle in her arm and a lighter in her other hand. Faced down, body crooked awkwardly. Her heart beat fainting slowly and only every few seconds, but not responding. Lark ran into the room when he heard Ryder and as Ryder, remembering first aid stuff, began pumping Marley's heart with is hands to get her heart beating faster, Lark called 911. The ambulance was there within five minutes and took her away. The last thing Ryder saw was a tube being pushed down her throat and some gunk being removed from her stomach.

When they arrived Ryder was uncontrollable and couldn't focus on anything, he just wanted to see Marley. Lark took on the adult role (for once in his life, in Ryder's mind) and calmed Ryder down and not only gave the hospital staff Marley's information (hometown, guardian, blood type, ect) but also got some information to tell Ryder. Ryder, once soothed down, heard it and was relifed that Marley was saved, but depressed when the word 'coma' came up.

If Lark hadn't introduce Marley to all of this stuff, she would still be fully awake.

Fuck Lark.

Ryder slept on the couch for three hours. Nothing changed. When he woke up he went into the room and took his seat back. Alone in the room with Marley again, Ryder held her hand and kept his eyes on her beautiful face.

"Hey beautiful," Ryder softly said. "I've heard of beauty sleep, but I think you've had a little too much now. How 'bout you wake up tomorrow morning and we'll go see a movie. Anything you want."

Nothing happened.

"Marley? Please wake up. It's been three days. I'm not mad at you for drinking and smoking and taking drugs, I'm not mad. I just don't like seeing you like this. Please wake up."

Nothing happened.

"Say something, Marls. Say anything." Ryder pleaded. "Please?"

Nothing happened. Marley's machine kept beeping and she didn't open her eyes even one mere minute.

"Marley please don't give up. Please wake up, please. It's been three days. Most people would of woken up by now, please wake up. I don't want to have give up on you. Please. Please wake up."

Ryder_  
Say something, I'm giving up on you_  
_I'll be the one, if you want me to_  
_Anywhere I would've followed you_  
_Say something, I'm giving up on you_

_And I am feeling so small_  
_It was over my head_  
_I know nothing at all_

_And I will stumble &amp; fall_  
_I'm still learning to love_  
_Just starting to crawl_

_Say something, I'm giving up on you_  
_I'm sorry that I couldn't get to you_  
_Anywhere I would've followed you_  
_Say something, I'm giving up on you_

_And I will swallow my pride_  
_You're the one that I love_  
_And I'm saying goodbye_

_Say something, I'm giving up on you_  
_And I'm sorry that I couldn't get to you_  
_And anywhere I would've followed you_  
_Say something, I'm giving up on you_

_Say something, I'm giving up on you_  
_Say something.._


	73. The Fog Part II

**Sorry this is so short! I tried to make it a bit longer but nothing good came from it, so I had to do lots of editing and this was the only good outcome that made sense.**

* * *

**73\. The Fog. Part II.**

I felt I've been here in this ghostly place for hours. Sobbing and drowning in my own tears about my own life. I'm so fucked up, so very fucked up. Even Dad is a much nicer person than me. Dad had a better life than I did on my own right now. Dad probably wouldn't of gone this far or even end up...here. Where was I on the outside? In bed? In the apartment still? In the living room?

Dad wouldn't want to know me like this. Mom would dis-own me. Ryder would break up with me if I hadn't broken us up first. My Glee friends wouldn't like me like this. I don't even think Lark would like me like this...maybe I've become too wild for him to even be around.

I felt the ground shaking and when I opened my red eyes I saw that the ground was crumbling. Breaking into bits and pieces all over and the Earth cracking down the middle of the pathway I was standing on. Eventually once it broke there was nothing left but the cobbler pathway, me standing there and suddenly my body becoming wintery cold. I hated it. I don't mind too much cold, but winter cold is the worse.

I felt something warm behind me. Very warm. When I turned around I saw a bright light far away from me. I wasn't an idiot; I knew what that light was. How to get away from it was the challenge now.

But...what if that was a good choice?


	74. Friend Feud, Family Feud

**Glee ended. Still not happy.**

* * *

**74\. Friend Feud, Family Feud.**

Ryder didn't move from his chair. She's been in a coma for a full week now with little response. He heard doctors talking among themselves about speaking with Minnie and Marley's social worker about the situation. The only family member by blood Marley had was her father, James. They would have to inform him and get his permission to take Marley off life support if he thought it would be best for Marley. Ryder wasn't ready to lose her yet.

"Marley," He said to her body. "You need to wake up. Please. They're going to take you off life support if you don't give some progress of getting better."

She didn't move or open her eyes. Just laid there breathing thanks to that stupid oxygen tank they have her.

"Wake up Marley." Ryder rubbed his fingers across her hands. "Just open your eyes, that's all it takes."

Nothing.

There was a knock at the door. Finn walked in a second later. "Ryder?"

"Hey," He called back without taking eyes off of Marley.

"I'll watch her for a little bit. Go get dinner and then take a nap." Finn said walking in further. Ryder didn't move. "Ryder."

"What?" Ryder called out a little stressed.

"Ryder, go get some dinner then take a nap. I'll let you know if something happens." Finn said.

Ryder didn't move. He just continued to sit there in the chair looking at Marley hoping something would happen right now. He wanted to be the first person she saw when she woke up. If she woke up and saw Finn first than that was fine too, just anyone but a doctor or a nurse. But Ryder was really hoping it was him that she saw first.

Finn tried to calmly take control and took Ryder's hand to pull up, though Ryder pulled his hand out of Finn's hand and said, "I'm not going."

"Ryder you need to eat."

"No I don't I'm fine." Ryder said.

"I talked to your parents. You have to eat." Finn said.

"I don't care if you spoke to my parents. I'm staying here." Ryder said.

"Ryder—"

"Finn!" Ryder stood up from the chair quickly, knocking it behind him. Anger all over his face. "Stop trying to get me to eat the God damn food! My girlfriend is still in her coma after a full fucking week and you come in here every day telling me to leave for a while and get some damn food and take a nap! My girlfriend is on the edge of dying or waking up, the latter would be better, and you come in here trying to keep her away from me! If Rachel was in a fucking coma and you were in here everyday in this chair looking at Rachel in this bed—with all these fucking wires and tubes in her and on her— I wouldn't come in here every single day and harass you like you are constantly doing to me every single fucking day!"

"Ry—" Finn began to say.

Ryder slashed Finn across the face with his bare hand. A red mark left on Finn's cheek. Finn held his cheek as he turned back to Ryder. He wasn't mad, he got it. He would be annoyed if anyone harassed him while Rachel, or his mom or Burt or Kurt or even Puck were in a coma and this was him for a week. But he had to step in and help Ryder too. Starting with eating every day and taking naps.

Ryder realized what he did. He slapped Finn. _Slapped. _He slapped his friend, his teacher, his mentor almost. And why? Because Finn was being Finn. Helping out as much as possible and taking control before Ryder went nuts. Maybe he did need dinner...and a very long nap.

"Finn." Ryder said softly with a sad tone in his voice.

"Don't worry." Finn said.

"No, I'm—"

"I said don't worry." Finn said with a smile. "I'm okay."

Ryder responded with a slow nod. "I'm... I'm gonna get something down the street."

Finn smiled with a nod. "Alright. I'll call you as soon as anything happens."

"Thanks." Ryder said and shifted himself out of the room.

Finn took Ryder's chair and placed it back on four legs before sitting on it. He looked at Marley and watched her every move, grasping her hand in his own. "Open your eyes Marley."

* * *

Ryder walked down the street to some small pizza-deli shop and ordered himself a small plain cheese pizza. He walked back to the hospital and sat in the cafeteria staring at his food.

He was hungry.

But then he wasn't hungry.

Hungry.

Not hungry.

Hungry.

Not hungry.

Hungry.

Not hungry.

He pushed the food away from him and took his phone out to reply back to him Mom. She texted earlier asking how Marley was doing. **Hey Mom, she's still in the coma so that's nothing new. I'll let you know ASAP if something changes. **He turned his phone back on vibrate and placed it in his pocket.

Fucking Lark.

Oh, speak of the devil.

Lark came in after talking with an old friend of his. A very old friend of his from Lima. He was getting a couple of things organized for his return to Lima in a few weeks. He saw Ryder and walked over to him.

Ryder saw him coming and got up from his chair to walk away.

"Ryder!" Lark called out.

"Get away from me, Lark!" Ryder called out.

"Ryder!" Lark kept calling him. "Dude her over here now!"

* * *

Ryder kept moving away from Lark for as long as possible. Lark didn't give up the fight.

"Ryder Lynn!" Lark yelled.

Ryder stopped in his tracks. That damn bastard.

Lark walked up to Ryder to finally speak with him. "How's Marley?"

Ryder turned around and looked at this idiot. "Asshole."

"Dude—"

"No!" Ryder yelled. "Marley is in a coma because of you!"

Lark couldn't find a response. He knew he was part of the reason Marley was in the coma. "I know."

"This is just perfect!" Ryder yelled.

"Ryder."

"Marley had to meet you! Out of all my cousins it had to be _you _and you started it all! You gave her the cigarettes! You gave her the drugs! You started to get her drinking! You started all the damn problems! I have you!"

"Whoa, Ryder, listen—" Lark started to say.

"No, fuck off."

Lark watched Ryder turn away. Now he was pissed off. Ryder needed to get the story straight. Lark marched over to Ryder and grabbed him by the shoulders, pinning him against the wall.

"Listen here," Lark said bitterly. "I don't care if you want to blame the coma for me because I encouraged her to party more, but don't you _dare _say I started all of it! I only encouraged her. She wanted the cigarette so I let her try one! _Just one! _and she liked it and wanted another so I let her have another and then she just kept wanting them. I don't ever recall forcing her to drink. The first time we drank together she had it on her own, implying that she's had it before at some point or another by her own choice. It's always been her choice. She could of done this stuff for a month and then stop and I would encourage it!"

That was when Lark pinned Ryder a bit harder. "But don't you _dare _blame me for her smoking week. That was one of those stoner kids. Not me. Do not ever try to blame me for starting it. I wouldn't encourage her to even try it and if I did I was joking and she would of laughed because I laughed. The first time she smoked a weed joint she had mentioned she tried some already earlier, so I let her do it again. At her choice. All the partying she's done here in New York, her choice. It's all her choice."

"She's still in a damn coma."

"And you think I don't feel guilty about that?" Lark almost laughed. "You don't think I feel guilty about her being in that coma? I feel guilty for fucking Zandra's death! I wasn't even fully apart of that since Zandra's been doing all this shit since fifth grade, long before I met her, and I feel guilty for her death! How in the hell do you think I feel knowing that Marley Rose is in a coma, on the edge of death, and knowing that I contributed to her death!? Huh!? Huh cousin Ryder!? How in the fuck do you think I feel?"

Ryder looked at his older cousin. He could still see deep intense pain and guilt in his eyes, his face. He could sense from the bottom of his heart that Lark, from the bottom of his heart, felt guilty for all of this happening.

Lark couldn't stand here now looking at Ryder. Not just because Ryder blamed him for Marley's situation, but Lark couldn't stand being here knowing he was responsible for Marley's death if she died. He had to get out of the hospital and go back to the motel to sleep there for a while.

Lark released Ryder and said, "Bye Ryder."

Ryder watched his cousin leave quickly. Ryder shook his head before walking back to the room.

* * *

Ryder got back to the room and looked inside. Nothing changed.

"Finn?" Ryder called.

"Hey dude," Finn said. "Did you eat?"

"Yeah." Ryder lied. "Anything changed?"

"No." Finn sighed. "I called Minnie and asked her if she knows anything, but she's in her own shit."

"How?"

"I guess her girlfriend, Gina, well her ex-girlfriend now, ratted on her about having coke in the house. But I guess she wasn't too bitchy since she lied and said that Minnie began taking the coke for the past few months. But that Marley had nothing to do with it."

"But what will happen to Marley?"

"Probably just make up the excuse that she's been smoking things since she came here to New York." Finn said. "I don't want her to lie, but I want her to avoid big trouble."

Ryder nodded. He sat on a second chair next to Finn and looked at Marley. God, he wishes he could go back in time and make things better.

"Wake up Marley."


	75. The Fog Part III

**An Update?**

* * *

**The Fog. Part III.**

Go. No, don't go. Go. Don't go. Go. Don't go. Go. No, don't go. Go. Don't go. Go. Don't go. Go. No, don't go. Go. Don't go. Go. Don't go.

Which way should I go? Towards the bright light or away and... I guess remain here in this fog? But the light was so warm. I wanted warmth. I took a step forward and the light had brighten. It illuminated a white glow all around and I felt something in me disappear. I felt like all the cigarette smoke inside of my lungs was coming out, all the drugs I've ever taken lifted out of me and I wasn't thirsty for beer or wine. I felt a lot better. Back to my normal self before I met Lark and tried that stuff.

No, I don't blame Lark. He didn't force me into anything. I wanted to do them.

Maybe if I wanted to never do that stuff again, I should go into the light.

But I would be leaving my friends behind... No, what friends? I didn't have any friends. I use to. Then I ditched them so that I could party all the time without being harassed and I left Ryder, my boyfriend, so that I wouldn't hurt his feelings. And the friends I made here in New York weren't my friends. They were just random people I hooked up with all the time. Fuck buddies.

Maybe the light was the best decision.

The light was glowing bright and bright, almost calling my name.

I started walking towards the light...


	76. Beeps and Waves

**Wow. I'm so close to 200 reviews! Yey!**

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**76: Beeps and Waves**

_(few moments earlier)_

Ryder sat alone in the room. A full week and four days. Why was it taking her so long to wake up? Doesn't she hear him? Finn? The doctors? He sang to her, played music, told her fun stories, kissed her cheeks and her warm lips a few times and nothing worked. Why wasn't she waking up?

"Please Marley. You have to wake up. Now." Ryder pleaded. "Please, you're scaring me."

Visiting hours were over in an hour. Ryder would have to leave for the night, again, and wait back at the apartment where the rest of the New York gang was and Finn. Summer was coming to an end and Ryder would have to go back to Lima soon, leaving Marley alone here in the coma.

If they kept her alive in the coma, that is.

"Please wake up. Please. You have to wake up now Marley. I'm scared." Ryder's voice shook. "There's a high, high chance of you being placed on life support and if you're on that list for a long, long time than there's a chance that they'll pull the plug on you. Marley please wake up now. Please."

Nothing.

"Marley Jane Rose, wake up now please. I'm not angry with you about smoking bad things or drugs or drinking a lot. Or the wild sex you had with random people, Lark told me that." Ryder said as he held her hand in his own. "I'm not mad at that the most. I know that you thought we were broken up for good. I know that Bree managed to sneak into my room when I was sleeping and took those pictures and did a lot of other hacking things on my phone—she's a smart hacker. And from those you were convinced even more that we were broken up. But I never saw us broken up Marley. We were never broken up, in my own mind, and I know deeply inside that you know the same thing. That we are meant to be together, no matter what. And when you wake up and you still decided that you don't want to be with me; and go on to be with whomever you want to that's fine. Because I'll always love you Marley, no matter what."

Ryder leaned in and kissed her cheek one more time. The second he pressed her cheek, her heart monitor—that kept a rhythm since they hooked her up—the pulse wave changed/beeped differently for a minute. Ryder pulled back and looked at it, though it went back to how is has been for the past week and four days. He looked back at her. "Marley, can you hear me?" Ryder leaned in again and kissed her cheek. Nothing. He tried it again, kissing her cheek.

Then again.

Then again.

And a final time, but on her lips this time.

Nothing changed. Ryder was confused. Was she not just hearing him a moment again? How was he not hearing her? Didn't she just hear him?

Another beep. Ryder looked. Another beep. The beeping on the machine was changing and the heart monitor waves on the screen showed the rhythm of her heart beats changing. Another beep...then another...and another...and another. Maybe she was waking up.

No, nothing. Just louder beeping and her heart waves/beats going faster—Oh shit.

"No!" Ryder yelled. He knew where this was going...where she was going. "No! Marley!" He began to shake her a bit roughly. "Marley! Marley! No! Back away from the light! Don't go to the light!"

BEEP!...BEEP!...BEEP!

"Damn it Marley!" Ryder yelled, shaking her a bit more roughly. "Marley Jane Rose! Stay the fuck away from that fucking light! Fuck the warmth it gives you!"

BEEP...BEEP...BEEP...BEEP

"Marley Rose! Get away from that fucking light! Wake up!"

BEEP..BEEP..BEEP..BEEP...BEEP..BEEP

"Marley!"

BEEP..BEEP..BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP

"No!" Ryder yelled, looking at her heart line and it started to go flat just as the beeping went flat. He looked at her rapidly. "Stay with me!"

Ryder leaned in and pressed his lips onto Marley's lips, deeply and passionately than ever before.

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**Happy Passover and Happy Easter!**


	77. Voices

**Wow. I'm so close to 200 reviews! Yey!**

**So, um, probably my favorite chapter to have written (other than a couple of ones in the past!)**

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**77: Voices.**

Inside of the fog world I kept facing the light, taking a few small steps towards the light. It was so warm, so fun and lovely. I felt happier to see the light than anything else. I smiled as she looked deeper into the light and saw the end of the glow tunnel. Heaven. I grinned brighter as I stepped further and further into the light slowly... the wind was beginning to pick up and it was blowing towards her.

"It's so beautiful." I said to myself. "Maybe Mom will be there to greet me."

_"...life support..."_

Huh? Life support? Who said that?

I looked around, but I was alone. I guess I was hearing things.

I kept moving forward, walking to the light slowly.

_"I'll always love you Marley. No matter what." _ That voice sounded so...familiar. A male voice. Lark? It had to be Lark. Who else could love me now?

"Sorry Lark." I said aloud. "I'll watch over you. I promise."

I continued moving towards the light. It was glowing bright and bigger and the warmth had risen up. I felt warmer. I loved it.

After several more steps I felt my body become light. I felt like I was transforming into something else. An angel, I said to myself. I smiled. I always loved angels.

_"Damn it Marley!"_

Huh? Who was that? Was that...no...it couldn't be...no...well...No. It wasn't him. It wasn't Ryder. But I felt his presence among me and, to be honest, a couple of minutes ago I felt warmth on my cheek and my lips. Like they were his lips kissing me, but I only imagined it. It wasn't Ryder. But, now it was Ryder.

Oh boy, he sounded pissed off. Maybe because of the drinking and smoking and drugs? Well I wasn't going to cause any more pain.

"Sorry Ryder. Goodbye Ryder. I love you." I said and moved a bit faster towards the light.

It was growing warmer and warmer, like summer heat but not overly heated. I thought I saw someone at the end of the tunnel. A woman. Mom? I wanted to reach the warmth and Mom, if that was Mom to say.

I ran faster and faster to the end of the tunnel. Music and song began to come around me. The voices of the angels singing in a choir. Welcoming me to Heaven. It was so beautiful. More beautiful than how TV and movies portray it to be.

_"Stay the fuck away from that fucking light!"_

"Ryder?" I stopped running, but I was so close to the end of the tunnel. So very, very close.

_"Fuck the warmth it gives you!"_

"But," I began crying. I had a feeling he couldn't hear me anyways. "But... I'm so cold! I'm cold! And not healthy for myself or anyone...I'm too deep...You were right. I'm on a horrible path... I'm too deep to get back on the path."

I sobbed harder.

"I'm sorry Ryder." I muttered.

I ran again to the glowing light. The angels began to sing louder, more clear, I felt lighter than ever and I swear I felt a gold ring around my head beginning to form and felt things growing out of my back. Halo and wings. I was becoming an angel.

_"Get away from that fucking light! Wake up!"_

No. I'm not waking up. This is better for me. I'm healthier this way. This is better for me and everyone else. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry.

I saw a figure at the end of the tunnel. A woman. Still beautiful and I felt a motherly sense from the figure. "Mom!" I cried, running faster and faster.

I was near it...the end of the tunnel...just a bit faster and further... I'm so close.

I'm right there.

I'm so close.

I'm right there. Just a few more steps.

Ten more steps.

Five more steps.

Two more small steps and I'll be in pure paradise village forever.

One...


	78. An Old Friend

**Important note at the end of this chapter, just a heads up.**

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**78: An Old Friend.**

I came to a sudden stop as I felt something on my lips. Something so familiar and romantic, it's been ages since I felt something like this. This was such a...beautiful kiss. It felt like the kiss of true love and I didn't want it to stop. But who was my prince charming kissing me? Ryder or Lark?

I continued feeling the kissing on my lips, lingering longer and longer onto me, and I knew who it had to be.

"Ryder..." I muttered.

I felt like I was completely gone, like I was dead, standing here...just a step away from Heaven and leaving a miserable world.

Oh great. I didn't want to leave...but I'm so unhealthy. I can't... I just can't.

_"Marley?" _A girl's voice came through. She sounded familiar. Not Mom, but someone else. _"Hey, Marley!"_

"Who's—who's there?" I called out scared. "Who is this? Where are you?"

_"Relax it's me, Zandra."_

"Zandra?"

_"Yeah. I'm up here in Heaven. You can't see me ye.t I'm still walking to the gates, just hold on a minute!" _She called back. _"Almost there!"_

Within a couple of minutes, emerging from the bright light right in front of me, was a girl with long dark hair and wearing a white angelic dress with a gold halo, golden heel shoes with straps and angel wings on her back. "Hey, it's Marley. How's it going girl?"

"You...you look so different." I said. "So much...different."

"Yeah." She smiled.

"And...sound different."

"Well I'm not on the drugs silly!" She laughed. "Man on man Marley, I thought I'd never see you again. How's everything since I've been gone."

But I kept looking at her. She was..._dead? _How? When? "Zandra, how the hell are you here!?" I screamed.

"Oh, you must of been in here longer than I thought... Yeah, I died." She admitted. "When you were imagining being on a stage singing and dancing to that Sia song, that day, I died the night before." She told me.

"Um...I don't know." I said. "I'm...stuck."

"Stuck? Stuck where?" She asked me.

"Here. Where ever I am." I said.

"Oh,_ that_ stuck." She told me. "You are not stuck, you just need to turn that pretty ass of yours around and go straight down and keep walking down that way until you reach the end."

"Huh?"

"Go back around, go straight down, keep going straight and when you reach the end of the cobbler pathway just jump off the cliff." She explained. "You'll wake up."

"What!? Are you INSANE? I am NOT going back and waking up!" I yelled.

"Why not?"

"I'm _sick! _I'm unhealthy! I have an addiction!"

"So what? Work on it." She told me. "Marley, go back and do what I just said."

"No!" I screamed. "I can't! If I go back I'm just asking for everyone to hate me and be sad with me."

"They'll hate you for leaving them like this. They'll be sad that you died and felt like they didn't do anything to help."

"Oh, trust me, some of them did!" I yelled.

"I _know_ that, idiot." Zandra rolled her eyes. "Come on Marley. Go wake up and see Ryder and Lark."

"If I go back... I'll be send to rehab or jail."

"Not sure how that portion of waking up will work out, but having the friend there will be a good thing." Zandra said. "I didn't get that chance Marley. I didn't have anyone to stop me from going forward to the light. I just kept going and going."

"But...well...can't I just see my Mom?" I asked her. "Please? For a few minutes."

"She can't be here right now."

"She's mad, isn't she?" I frowned.

"No, I mean she can't be here now because she's food shopping and then going to the hair salon to get her hair cut." Zandra said. "She sent me here."

"What...the...fuck?" I screamed.

"Heaven is pretty much like how it is on Earth. Except much nicer and no littering and if a paper is accidentally littered, nobody gets in trouble. It turns into a star. Stars are both made from gasses and litter. It's fucking weird as shit."

"Oh, wow." I said. "That is strange."

"Yeah. Now go turn around and go forward." She said.

"But my Mom—"

"She told me to tell you that when the time is right, she will come visit you." Zandra said. "Either by dream or something else. She loves you though."

I did miss my friends and family. "Zandra, I'm healthy now, if I go back will I go back as this?"

"No. You'll still have a craving for drugs, beer, wine and cigarettes." She said.

"Shit." I said. "I... I guess I'll go back."

"Good. Now do me a favor?" She had her hands on her hips. "Can you tell Lark that it's OK? It's not his fault that I died. I brought this flabbergasted shit on my own body."

"Um...okay?"

"Thanks. And make sure you said 'flabbergasted shit' so he knows its the truth." She said.

"Okay." I said. I was sad that I couldn't go into Heaven.

"Good. Now go." She said. "Run, Marley, run!"

* * *

I turned on heel and began running. Running away from that beautiful light and into the darkness.

This is weird. You're suppose to run away from the darkness and run into the light. Not the other way around.

I kept running and running. My halo, my wings, my warmth all died. Coldness became apart of me. I craved for cigarettes and beer bottles now. I just wanted to smoke and drink.

I got to the end of the cobbler path and there was nothing else. Literally nothing else, all black darkness. The only way to move forward is to leap off this cliff that the cobbler path lead up too. Now what?

Leap?

Was I suppose to leap?

Well, Zandra did tell me to go to the end and then leap to life, correct?

Should I really listen to a dead girl?

Well.

Here's goes nothing.

I took a few steps back, held my breathe, then ran forward and jumped off the cliff.

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**oooh what's going to happen now!?**

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**Notice:**

**Many of you had voted for me to write_ 'Home Front Battle'_ next when I finish a couple of these stories. Just wanted to let you all know that I am still working on the progress of that story, but I do have 'Just Like Soulmates' chapters set up and all so I will be uploading _Just Like Soul-Mates_ when I'm done with this and possible Growing Pains.**


	79. Lights

**HI.**

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**79: Lights.**

Three minutes. It's only been three minutes but to Ryder it feels like his entire life had passed him. Here was the cold, non-breathing body of his girlfriend who's life was taken away from overdosing on drugs and alcohol mixing. At a young age, sixteen years old. Ryder couldn't move from his seat and he didn't want to move from his seat. If he moved from this seat... he'd probably end up jumping out the window and kill himself. Just to be with Marley.

He stared at her, waiting for a sign that she might come out of death. But nothing happened.

"Marley." He whispered. He gripped her lifeless hand in her own tight one. "Please Marley..." He looked up to the ceiling. "Hey...Millie? I hope you can hear me."

Ryder sniffed a bit, his voice cracking.

"Millie? I know Marley misses you...she misses you a lot...sadly she drinks and smokes the pain away...I know you miss her," He a few tears slipped from his eyes. "I know you two...just wanna be together...but can...can you send her back? Please?" Ryder pleaded. "Please...give her back? I know you want her to have a life...I promise... I will do everything in my powers...to help Marley...just please Millie," Ryder began sobbing hard. "Send her back. Please send her back!"

He kept repeating those words; Send her back. Over and over again in his sobs. He lowers his head down, tears falling to the floor. He hoped someone could hear him, Millie or not, just anyone.

* * *

**Marley's Point Of View  
(Seconds earlier)**

Wow... This is pretty strange to do. I feel like Pocahontas when she's flying down the waterfall, to meet up with her friend when the warriors return from war, and she's just falling down to the water; but acts like she's flying.

Wow, this is a long fall. I've been falling for what felt like ten minutes.

I see all these memories coming back to me. Like earlier when I was walking in the tunnels inside my own head. I heard beautiful music that we sang in Glee Club. I even heard Mr. Schue rapping and seeing him dance to it. To be honest I thought it was cool whenever he rapped for us. And I saw all the fun times we had in Glee Club...Now I was just waiting for the bad memories, bad decisions I made, to show.

Nope. Just more good memories.

I saw there was a light at the bottom below me. A bright like. Wait...Heaven? But I heard a woman's voice from around me. _"Marley," _I knew who it was.

"Mom?" I called out. "Mom!?"

_"Hi honey."_

"Mom!? Where are you!?" I cried out, looking for her. "Where are you? Mom!? MOM!?"

_"I'm here Marley. I'm always here for you, baby."_

"Mom..." I called out. "I'm... I'm sorry."

_"It's okay baby." _She sounded so honest. _"I still love you Marley."_

"I.. I love you too, Mom!"

_"I'm always here for you Marley. Always." _Mom's voice said. That was the last thing I heard from here.

I kept falling down, flying down to the light. I felt warmth. I loved it. And I could see...someone...Ryder? Was that Ryder? How long had he been sitting there? Why was he sad?

As I got closer to the light I saw that Ryder looked up from the chair. His body was changing expressions, like he was becoming excited...

I'm waking up.

* * *

**No One's POV.**

_Beep._

Ryder's hears perked up hearing a beep. Maybe he was just hearing things.

_Beep._

It's his mind. It's a game.

_Beep._

Ryder lifted his head up looking at the heart monitor.

_Beep. __Beep._

"Marley?" He spoke up.

_Beep. __Beep. __Beep._

"Marley!?" Ryder's voice perked up again, becoming happy. "Marley?"

_Beep. __Beep. __Beep. __Beep. __Beep. __Beep. __Beep._

Blue eyes began to appear. Fluttering opened slowly.

* * *

**Marley POV.**

I hit the light...I felt a transformation...there's a bright light above me...but I knot it's not the light of Heaven. I didn't hear angels sing, I heard beeping. I'm back in my own body. I'm alive again. Well I didn't actually die, but I had a feeling that Ryder believed I had died for the past half hour. Wild.

Shit these lights were bright. I had to let my eyes adjust to the lights.

"Marley?"

Ryder.

I shifted my head over a tiny bit. Everything was still a blur but I saw brown Justin Beiber locks that I knew too well. "Ry..." That was all I could say.

"Marley!" His voice cheered. I could tell he was overly joyed with emotions. I felt his lips plant all over my face, making sure to kiss each and every spot of skin on my face. "Marley!" Ryder cooed when he finished. "You're here."

"Wh...ere?"

"You're in a hospital." Ryder said softly. Oh, a hospital? "Do you remember anything?"

I gave a small nod. Damn, I already felt tears in my eyes. "Party...Sia...pills...wine." My mouth was dry. "Water?"

Ryder nodded. He poured a glass of water for me and asked, "Do you need help to sit up?"

I nodded. Once Ryder helped me sit up, gently of course, he handed me the water and I took a drink. I missed water. "Better." I said.

"Good." Ryder said. He scooted in closer to me. He held both of my hands in each of his own and brought my hands up to his mouth and and placed kissed all over my fingers and knuckles. Soft kisses. Back and forth and all over, wanting to take in every piece of exposed skin on my hands. I didn't realized until now how badly I must of hurt him leaving him for half an hour.

After a few more kissed he held my hands a bit tighter and looked at me in the eyes. "I love you."

What the fuck? He loves me?

"I hurt...you." I said. "I left...twice. Lima. Here."

"I know," Ryder told me. "But I've always loved you. I will always love you, my love. When you left Lima I missed but loved you and just now, for three minutes, when you weren't here I still loved you."

"Three...minutes?" I asked. "Not...half...hour?"

"No," Ryder said. "Did it feel like that, Marley?"

I nodded. Wait...how long was I gone? "How..long...here?"

"A week and four days." Ryder said almost instantly. "But it felt so much longer. I hated that."

"Hours...to...me." I responded. He nodded, he understood what I meant. He rubbed my hands against his chin, our skin-to-skin contact sparkling up. I felt his mouth smiling as he kept rubbing my hands against him. His eyes not losing contact with me. I, too, felt myself smiling.

"I love you." He whispered to me.

I wondered... "Where's...Lark?"

I knew he probably didn't want to answer. But, he smiled, and said, "He's at a hotel. I'll call him later." He didn't seem to angry or annoyed at Lark's name. "I'll call Finn and let him know."

"Glee...friends?"

"They know. They'll be so excited to know you're OK." He smiled. "I love you." He leaned in and kissed my cheek.

I smiled back at him. I did...wait. "Bree?"

"She's been hacking into my phone lately. I got something to protect my phone from being hacked and I asked Kitty and Santana to get Bree to back off. She's done, she won't bother us ever again." Ryder explained. "I only have eyes for you."

Our song...no...I cheated on him.

I turned away and faced down below me. Tears falling down.

"Marley?" Ryder became worried. "What's wrong?"

"I... I che... I cheated." I muttered. "I cheated...on...you."

"Shhs," He whispered and sat closer to me. "Let's not talk about that."

But I needed to express it. "I cheated!" blurted out. "On...you...Lark...bar hookups...guys...girls!"

"Girls?" He smirked. "Didn't know you found women attractive."

"Shut up asshole!" I yelled. "I cheated!"

"I know." Ryder told me. "I know. I'm not mad about that...I'm okay...I understand."

"Hmm?" I sobbed.

"I know. In your mind, we were broken up...you were free. I understand. I'm okay with that, I forgive you. We'll get passed that. We'll get passed it all."

I nodded. I knew he'd forgive me. I still felt shitty. I kept sobbing. I felt Ryder sit up and push me to the side and laid next to me in the bed, holding me in his arms for comfort. I missed his arms. I missed him. I missed all of this. Real love, real relationships, real friends. Nice things. I missed it. I missed it all.

I've been a real shitty person.

I'm going to change.

Well... I hope I can change.

* * *

**Awww! I liked this chapter a lot. :)**


	80. Lights and Lighter

**HI.**

* * *

**80: Lights and Lighter**

The rest of the day and night consisted of just Ryder and I, catching up on one another and kissing a couple of times. I missed his kisses. I missed him. I missed his warmth, his arms, his hugs and his love. I just missed it all.

Unfortunately he had to leave, since he wasn't blood family, but he promised to go tell Finn right away and let him and everyone else know that I was perfectly fine. I reminded him to tell Lark and he said he'll tell him asap. I remembered the promise I made to Zandra, to let Lark know it's not his fault for her death.

I didn't move too much the rest of the night. I just got up to use the bathroom and then went right back to bed. Due to the lack of food when I was drinking and drugging myself up, I ate everything on the dinner plate I got before Ryder had left. He said I gobbled everything down within ten minutes (mashed potatoes, corn, squash, macaroni and cheese, a glass of water and two cookies for dessert) though I gave Ryder the second cupcake. I. Was. Starving!

I didn't want to throw it up either. And I didn't.

I fell asleep but stupid nurses and doctors came in and out checking on me that I was alive. Assholes. I am alive. Unless you heart my heart line going flat on that machine, I am alive!

The following morning when I awoke I was given egg, toast, bacon, orange juice, milk and water. Who drinks water first thing in the morning? I pushed the water away and ate the eggs and toast and pushed the orange juice down my throat. I hate orange juice. I didn't have room for the milk. Soon after breakfast was visiting hours and within minutes of the hour starting I heard Ryder down the hallway.

_"Lark! Slow down, man!"_

Soon afterwards the door slammed opened and a blonde hair boy was standing there filled with joy on his face. "Marley!"

"Hi... Lark." I said. My throat still hurt. They had to pump the alcohol and drugs out of me with this pump machine that required a tube down my throat. It stil hurts days later.

Lark came jogging over to the bed and grabbed me into a tight bear hug, the tightest he has ever given me before. I felt tears down his face roll off his face and drop onto me. "Damn you!" He choked on his words. "Don't you ever fucking scare me like that again!"

"Sorry." I said, but smiled. "Not...doing...that...again...ever."

"Better not you asshole." He said taking himself out of the hug. "Damn when cousin Ryder told Finny and I the news, with the others on Skype at Dapper Dan Blaine's house, we all cheered and thanked those above...well except that one kid. Kurt? He was just thankful."

"Good." I said. I saw Ryder and reached out for a hug from him. "Ry!" I smiled.

"Hey beautiful," Ryder leaned in and hugged me. I felt him kiss the side of my head and continued to hug me. "Sleep good?"

I nodded against him. I opened my eyes and looked at Lark. He was grinning and winked at me.

Through unspoken words, we knew we were done with one another (sexually, of course,) and that he was glad that Ryder and I were together again. See? Lark isn't as much of an asshole as Ryder calls him out to be.

"Everyone's glad you're OK." Ryder said. "Even Kitty."

"Kitty?" I laughed.

"And Bitch Satan." Lark added.

"Who is that? You never told me." Ryder said as he pulled out of the hug.

"Tina." I laughed. "Long...story."

"Oh no it's not long," Lark said. "Bitch Satan had been harassing our Rose here since she passed out at Sectional's. Being on her ass about every single thing and being a bigger hard ass when it came to Regionals and a bigger bitchy hard ass when it came to National's. Then everything else in the middle. So, this Tina girl is Bitch Satan." Lark explained. "Right Marley?"

I nodded. "Our...joke."

Ryder smirked and chuckled. "I like that nickname a lot."

"Hey Marley, remember my old friend Cooper? Cooper Preston from the bar?"

I thought about it. That name came to me...then the rest came minutes later. "Yes."

"He's in town and he remembers you from the bar so he said he was going to pop in soon to check on you. That's cool, right?"

I nodded. "Fine." I then leaned onto Ryder's shoulders and smiled closing my eyes. I felt myself falling asleep again. I heard the two cousins talking about letting the Lynn's know soon and then I heard one of them mumble about being thankful I didn't up like... Oh! Zandra!

"Lark!" I sat up straight looking at him.

"Yeah Marley?"

"Zandra."

"Yeah," He said a bit slowly. "Not sure if you were told about Zandra—"

"No, I know." I said. I coughed a few times. "Zandra...died...I...met...her. Somewhere...in here," I pointed to my head. Then pointing above I said, "Somewhere...up there."

"Ooooooookkkkkaaaaayyyyy," Lark said making it sound like I was crazy. "No offense Marls, how much did you drug in?"

"Fuck you asshole!" I yelled.

"Sorry." He laughed. Did he not believe me. "What? Did she have a message for me? Am I going to be a millionare?"

"No..." I said. "She...said...this...I brought... this... flabbergasted shit ...on my... own... body."

Lark and Ryder looked at me surprised. Lark for the message, Ryder for possibly how long I could say a long sentence.

"Holy crap you did talk to her!" Lark exclaimed. "That's insane!"

"How do you know she's being serious?" Ryder asked. Then added quickly, "Not that I don't believe you."

"When something was super, super, very serious with it involved Zandra, she used the words 'flabbergasted shit' to describe it."

Oh so that's why Zandra wanted to make sure I said 'flabbergasted shit' to Lark. So that he knew it really was her talking. I smiled at that. "Ok."

"Damn that's awesome!" Lark smiled. "Oh...well, I guess I can't feel _too _bad since she said it was her fault...I'm still to blame."

* * *

A couple of hours passed. Ryder, Lark and I (in a wheelchair) roamed around the hospital and went outside to the back to get fresh air. Upon the walk back inside we saw there was an area outside for smokers. This one girl with long red hair had a cigarette in her hand and asked if any of us had a lighter on them, for her to keep. Lark had three of him; so he handed her a pink lighter. Ryder nudged him.

"Hey asshole it's her lungs and her choices." Lark said back. "I'm heading down the street to get some Chinese takeout. You guys want anything?"

"Egg rolls and crab ragoons." Ryder said.

"Noodles." I added.

Ryder and I went back to my room. We laid on my bed watching TV, making out a few times during the show, only to be interrupted fifteen minutes into the show by a knock on the door. We both looked over and saw the girl from outside. "Hey," She said. "That blonde kid you were with, he still here?"

"No, he went to get lunch. He'll be back in an hour or so." Ryder answered.

"Tell him to come to room 904. I wanna pay him back for the lighter. If I'm not there I'm on the balcony the floor above, I like it there too." She said. "You feeling okay?" She asked looking at me. I nodded. "Well that's good. My name's Jane if you need a talking buddy." She then left the doorway.

Well, that was strange.

* * *

Lark returned half an hour later. Ryder gave him the message and Lark laughed. "Oh that girl? She's gonna make out with me I bet. Hey Cooper is down the street."

"Fine."

Another twenty minutes passed and a face popped in. It took time to recognize him but somehow I did remember him. "Hi...Cooper."

"Hey it's the lady." He said. "How's it doing?"

"Good." I said.

"Lark Stewart, how's it going bro?" Cooper asked.

The two of them caught up and chatted for a while, while Ryder and I went back to our show eating the food. The two boys were in a deep conversation and I didn't pay attention until Cooper said something. "Still shocked that you and Blue Eyes here didn't hook up that night."

I turned to him, so did Ryder. Lark was already looking confused. "What the hell are you saying?"

"That night at the party, the college party, Blue Eyes and hairstylist chick were there, and we were there too. You and Blue Eyes left wasted and knowing wasted you, I followed y'all to watch some action."

"Fucking perv!" Lark pushed Cooper off the chair.

"Nah, nothing happened!" Cooper said. "You both strip to nothing and, by the way nice feeders Blue Eyes—"

"Fucking perv!" Both Ryder and Lark yelled.

"Alright, alright, well then you both were making out and I stripped down and before I could rub things down all I saw and heard was Blue Eyes here saying 'No, Ry...not sexy time...sleepy time...sexy time later.'"

That sounded like me. Sexy time.

"Then bro you go all ex-girlfriend on Blue Eyes here. 'Shit, sure as a bird Sawyer?' and then both of you must of been totally wasted to not understand the other. You kept calling her Sawyer and Blue Eyes kept calling you some dude name Ryder...somehow you thought they were talking to the right person and nothing happened."

"Nothing...happened?" I asked.

"Nah. Both of you just fell asleep after that. I didn't stay so I got dressed and left to get food." Cooper said. "Damn I wanted to get in and made a girl sandwich."

"Gross." Ryder said.

Both Lark and I looked at one another grinning. Oh perfect! So we never slept together! I told him, as Ryder, to stop and he thought of me, as his ex Sawyer, wanting to stop and not continue sleeping together. That was awesome! I found myself leaning up and kissed Ryder on the cheek and I felt him rub the back of my head lovingly, also pleased that _that _didn't happened between his girlfriend and his cousin.

"But I wanted a sandwich." Cooper said.

"Fuck off!" Lark yelled, but grinned. "Woo hoo! Didn't I tell you Marley!? I told you! I had a feeling we didn't do it! I told you a million times! I _knew _we didn't sleep together that night! I just knew it! I know how I am after I wake up from sex all night and I wasn't like that when I woke up! I knew it was bullshit!"

I giggled and nodded. "So...naturally...late...gaining...weight." I said.

"What? Oh, yeah, you getting that monthly thing late and thinking I knocked you up." Lark remembered. "Yeah, woo, dodged that bullet. The only kids that should be popping out of you from the family should be Lynn babies, not Stewart babies."

I rolled my eyes but smiled. That was true. "Fuck...Stewart babies...Lynn better."

"Yeah— wait, what!?" Lark yelled. "I'm awesome! I'm better!"

"Dude, you called her Sawyer—" Cooper said.

"Shut up sandwich craving perv!" Lark yelled. "Oh god, don't ever try that again with me!"

"Well I wouldn't plug you butt if that what you meant, all actions be done on Blue Eyes here." Cooper said, only to be slapped by Lark. "Damn it Lark!"

* * *

What a beautiful relief to know that Lark and I didn't screw one another on that particular night. Though we did when we came to New York... Ryder said he would forgive me for it. He already partially has forgiven me.

Lark and Ryder had to leave for the night. After two long hugs and a long kiss from Ryder the cousins left. I'm shocked that Ryder hasn't killed Lark yet or even called him a mean name or called him an ass for getting me here. Or at least helping me get here in the hospital.

I stood up from the bed being able to walk with an IV hook stand. I walked out of the room, not worrying about the boys coming back as three hours had already passed, I made my way down to the elevator and pressed the up button for the ninth floor.

I followed down the hallway until I found the room I was looking for. I peeked inside to find it empty. No, I guess she was up more.

I went up to the balcony and found the red hair girl smoking on a cigarette drag. I walked over to her. "Jane?"

She looked at me. "Oh hey. How you doing?"

"Good." I said.

"Need something?"

I nodded. "Can I have a cigarette?"

* * *

I sat next to Jane in the empty chair smoking on the cigarette she had given me. She had ten packs on her and she let me keep five of them for myself and handed me an extra lighter she had found. "First time?"

"No, it's just been a while." I said, blowing out the smoke. "I missed smoking."

"Yeah, it's nice."

I took in a long one then blew it out.

God I missed this so much.

* * *

**So Marley and Lark never slept together at that party! YEY! But, oh, Marley! Smoking again?**


	81. Facility and Truth

**Hello**

* * *

**81: Facility and Truth.**

I had another smoke before I went to bed and then I had one when I woke up in the morning. Of course when I did come back to my room Ryder was already there with a questionable expression on his face. "Where were you?"

"Outside." I said as I walked closer to the bed.

"Doing what this early?" He asked. He took a deep breathe, then his eyes grew wide. "Oh no, not again!"

"Yes." I muttered.

"Have you seen those commercials with the girl at the store and she rips off her face to pay for her cigarettes? The kid who pulls his tooth out to pay for the cigarettes? Or that commerical with the guy who pulls out his fake teeth?"

"I know I know. But..." I said. How could I explain this?

Ryder sighed and said, "Whatever. That's not too important now. I have something to tell you."

"What?" I asked as I sat back on the bed. He didn't look to happy; bad news I assumed. "How bad?"

"Hmmm not good." Ryder said. "I managed to get a hold of Winnie the other day, she's really glad you're okay.'

"Oh that's good! How is she?" I smiled.

"Not good. Long story short, her now ex-girlfriend ratted her out on the drugs and she's in deep shit for being in care of an underage minor while in position drugs. Then they had to check you out to see if you were given any drugs or taken on your own and they found a couple of people that know you and Lark that told on you. It was all undercover cop business too."

"Oh shit." I muttered. "Then what?"

"They got in contact with your social worker, who get in contact with your therapist. Marley, remember you said you started smoking to get rid of the anger and pain you felt after Sectionals?" He asked and I nodded. "Then the same with the weed and other drugs, sort of?"

"Well...yes." I said. "And the drinking."

"Well your therapist believes that was your way of coping with pain and anger and feeling bad about yourself."

"It... sounds about right."

"Well Minnie overheard your social worker and your therapist talk and this is the deal breaker she heard." A deal breaker? "You'll have to do this in-patient rehab facility for three months starting in September. If you do good than you're going to live in a good home, and I know who's home that is, as a foster child and you'll have more group support on the Saturday from 8 in the morning until 4 in the afternoon, then Sunday activities from 10 in the morning until 3 in the afternoon."

"What about school?"

"You'll be given homework assignments from the school to the facility so that you stay on top of work." Ryder told me.

Now the bad one. "Glee Club?"

Ryder sighed. "You'll probably miss sectionals, since you'll be in the facility from September until the end of November, but I asked Finn who asked to Mr. Schue about Regionals and Mr. Schue is more than okay with you coming back into Glee Club. He's excited you'll come back."

"I'm excited to come back to Glee." I said. "What facility?"

"I'm not sure exactly, I don't know too much." Ryder said. "I just want you to get better Marls." He said as he caressed my cheek.

"I wanna get better." I told him softly, feeling his hand. "What about Lark and Minnie?"

"Same thing, but Minnie is moving to another town to re-start all over. Lark is doing the same thing as you, but when he's done with his three months than going to a sober home."

"Oh, okay. Who's house am I staying at?"

Ryder laughed. "So many questions. I'll let you know later."

"But—"

"Shhh. You'll know soon enough, Marls." Ryder told me. "Now, how about we get breakfast."

* * *

I wanted to know who I was staying with, but I trusted Ryder with knowing who I was going to live with. Maybe Unique? I hope not Kitty, that actually would just be a nightmare. I doubted Tina would welcome me into her peaceful home full of range and besides she and Brittany are going off to college in the Northeast at M.I.T and Brown University. Who was left?

Ryder managed to take some of my old clothes from Lima and brought them to New York. Lima Marley was so sweet and innocent, not like the trash I've been wearing. I put on a floral skirt with a blue shirt and yellow cardigan, tied on my brown boots and Ryder and I left for the hospital cafe. Disgusting food.

Cardboard pancakes, plastic bacon and a green smoothie that looked like vomit later I had half the shit eaten. I forced it down my throat so that Ryder didn't get annoyed. Damn I needed a cigarette.

"Hey, do you mind if I take a leak?" I asked.

He chuckled. "You sound like a guy. You're the first girl I know to use that expression. Go ahead." He said.

I got up and went to the women's restroom down the hallway, out of the view of the cafeteria. I walked further down the hallway and got outside. I looked around for someplace to have a smoke and when I saw where some others were smoking and finishing up their cigarettes, I pulled out a cigarette and a lighter and as soon as I sat down on a bench I put the cigarette in my mouth and began smoking it.

It didn't take too long before I felt a tap behind me and when I turned I saw Ryder. "Using the outhouse?" He asked.

"I...farted." I said, trying hard to not giggle. "And it...stank...so I came out here." I said.

"Whatever." He said as he sat down next to me. "Nice butt."

"You haven't seen my butt in months." I said.

"You know what I mean."

"Yeah I know." I said, having another puff. "I'll be done in a minute."

"Take your time." Ryder said as he stood up. "I'll be back in a few minutes."

I smoked for another five minutes before throwing it on the ground and stepping on the cigarette. I got up and followed into the same direction of Ryder to look for him. He was back in the cafe poking at his food. I joined him and asked, "Are you okay?"

"Fine." He said bitterly.

"You're not fine."

"Well I'm not too happy you're still smoking." Ryder told me. "You smell like nicotine all the time."

"I can't stop smoking. It takes years, Ry." I said.

"I know that." Ryder said. "But you smell like shit half the time."

"Whatever." I said. "Wanna go watch a movie?"

* * *

We went back to my room and watched a movie on TV for a bit. I had three more cigarettes during the run of the four hour movie and by the time it finished we had to go get lunch.

Hours later Ryder left when visiting hours ended, we kissed but I felt annoyance on his bitter lips. Not surprised, his girlfriend keeps up with her smoking habits.

* * *

**Oh so Marley is going to a facility to work on her habits (So a sequel should happen for that, yey) and Ryder is back to being bothered by her smoking.**

**Update: ****Those who have been reading _Brother's and Sister_ you might have noticed I deleted the story. I didn't like the flow of the story anymore and I came up with back stories for the OC's I created. So I have decided to re-write the story in a way that I like it and that I believed you will too like it. I'm not sure when I'll get to re-writing the story, but I promise I will get back to that as soon as possible.**


	82. A Few More Drinks

**Wow...over 230 reviews!? That is so awesome! I love it! I never though I would get this far, ever! (In reviews at least).**

* * *

**82****. A Few More Drinks.**

Damn it. I suck. Completely.

I asked Ryder if he could go back to the apartment and get my backpack, the floral multicolored one, and I forgot about the stuff I had in there for a couple of weeks or so. A couple of packs of cigarettes with a match, some liquor flask bottles filled with strawberry flavored vodka Damn it I wished I had remembered that before I asked him because then I could of told him to dump the crap before coming here. But... I didn't want to waste the stuff either. That was still some of the free drinks I got after screwing with the guy at the drink store.

I pretended to have my period and made an excuse to go into the bathroom to change pads, only to drink from the flask and drink some vodka. I chewed on some gum that was also in my bag to block out the vodka from my mouth. It had to work.

It did. I kissed Ryder on the lips and he didn't mention anything about my breath smelling of vodka. I did it again about an hour later...then an hour after that. The fourth time I actually had to pee and while I was gone, the crap went down.

I came out of the bathroom and Ryder was there holding a flask bottle in his hands. "I looked to find your phone to find Minnie's number and I find this?"

"I forgot—"

"Nope." Ryder stopped me mid-sentence. "You didn't. You had to of noticed this stuff when you were changing around in the bathroom. You do realize how horrible this stuff is, right? How much trouble you can get into for underage drinking?"

I rolled my eyes. "I know...but... I didn't want to waste it."

"Drown it down the sink or toilet. It'll get the fish drunk." He said.

"Whatever. Fine." I said getting a bit bothered now. "Can we please do something fun?"

"Sure."

* * *

Three hours after Ryder left I managed to sneak out of the room and meet up with the girl who gave me those cigarettes earlier. I went to the roof of the hospital and smoked a few cigarettes before finding the girl in her room and asking her for a small bottle of alcohol she got from a friend of hers. In exchange I gave her a pack of cigarettes.

I drank the bottle all the way down, went outside to have one more smoke and went back to bed. My phone buzzed and I saw it was Ryder.

_I Love You, Marley._

Shit. Too bad I just did things I knew he would hate me for. No, not hate, just to be disappointed.


	83. Decision Time

**OH MY GOD! Have you seen the trailer for** **_SuperGirl _yet? NO!? WATCH IT! I'm pretty excited to watch another Glee star on a super hero show. (I've yet to watch The Flash because I've missed too many episodes and I have to wait for the season to be over so that I can watch it) but yes, I've very excited!**

* * *

**83****. Decision Time.**

A few more days passed. Soon enough I would be back in Lima to finish my summer there and then get ready to do whatever it is I have to do to stay strong. But how could I be so strong when I was drinking and smoking cigarettes again?

It's kind of weird. I feel a lot better and yet I think my brain is still malfunctioning or something. Whenever I look at Ryder I see someone who looks like a skeleton. Thin almost gaunt face and just so weak. But my damn brain is malfunctioning and I can't seem to make it work right to see things straight. I'm just waiting for the Oompa Loompas to pop out and start singing how fucked up I am.

I've spoken to some of the Glee kids on the phone. Kitty kept apologizing for this to happen as she thinks she had a part in it. I told her she didn't, she was just being her. Tina surprised me the most. When I got her call all I expected was someone who could bitch at me for ruining her life somehow. She graduated and somehow she could make my sickness back to her life being ruined. But no, Tina cried on the phone actually.

_"I'm so so sorry Marley! I should of never been a bitch to you. You're such a nice person and I know you are struggling a lot with things, from the past before school and during school and after school and now...and I've probably...NO! I've been a part of the problem. I never helped you I just focused on myself too much instead of being nice and helping you like how you help me and everyone else. You have to get better but not just for me, for yourself."_

I told her I didn't blame her for this. I did this. But secretly I _did _blame her since she never stopped bitching to me about every single problem that occurred back to her.

I was getting released from the hospital tomorrow. I was going to stay at a hotel with Ryder and Finn for a few more days before heading home. Lark was already back in Lima doing stuff. But today I had to go see some lawyer chick who was going to help me not end up in juvie. At least that's what Ryder told me. Or at least that's how it sounded to me.

I mean Ryder explained it to me already. In-patient facility, then a foster care house (hopefully not a shit one) and _more _damn group therapy on Saturdays. The only day of the week that I don't have to worry about school work, that was for Sunday. Maybe someone from _Annie. _Oh that would be fun...sort of.

* * *

I got dressed and had ten minutes before Ryder would pick me up at the front lobby. I decided to sneak away to the outside and over at the smoking area to have a cigarette before Ryder got me. I took out of my bag a cigarette and a lighter, lit up the cigarette and then started to smoke. I felt totally relax and calm smoking it and when I finished I dropped it, stepped on it, pulled out a bottle of perfume I had stored inside my bag and sprayed to cover up the cigarette smell.

I got back inside and waited a few minutes before Ryder came into the hospital with Finn behind him. Finn went to the front desk to sign me out, gosh I'm so glad Finn is an adult and can do stuff like that and not someone random. Ryder came over with opened arms and I opened mine; we hugged tightly and he kissed my cheek. "Morning beautiful,"

"Hi Ry." I greeted and pecked his cheek.

"You smell nice. New perfume?"

"Yeah. It's strawberry sugar. I like it a lot."

"Oh, I thought it was tobacco." He said in a tone which meant he _knew _I had just smoked. "Smells wonderful." Okay now he was sarcastic.

"Okay." I said a bit awkwardly. "I'm ready if you're ready."

Ryder smiled and took my hand in his own as we left with Finn to the cab outside. Ryder pulled out his Moms tablet that he stole to use on the bus ride here and we decided to watch funny fail videos. Of course before the actual video began there was a commercial...specifically a commercial that warns you about the dangers of smoking.

* * *

We got inside of the room we were meeting in; me, my lawyer, my therapist (who did fly out here to speak on my behalf I guess) and my social worker. I felt so nervous being in the room...damn I want a cigarette. I needed a cigarette. But I can't have one.

The lawyer and my social worker came into the room and once they were settled in the meeting began...

_God I wanted this damn meeting to be done and over with. I already know all this shit because Minnie overheard and told Ryder who told me...Yep, facility...Saturday group...Sunday activities...OH that's optional!? Good! I have Sunday's to myself! Damn...what?...Oh, check-in's once a month...random ones. That would make sense since with Minnie we knew the day and therefore we could just hide all the shit in the attic. Weird...Ugh, stop talking about group therapy... God damn...I WANT A FUCKING CIGARETTE!_

I excused myself to use the bathroom. The social worker told me the women's bathroom on this floor was closed so I had to use the one below us. Perfect, I'll just go outside and smoke before coming back in here.

Of course when I left Finn and Ryder were there waiting for me. Ryder asked where I was going and I said outside to have a quick breathe. He nodded and then followed along with me. I expected him to bitch at me but he did something else. Something off.

When I pulled the lighter out he took it from me. I expected him to throw it away but instead he lit up the lighter and held it towards the cigarette. "There you go." He smiled.

Was this a test? It had to be a test...but...I needed to puff.

Five minutes passed. When I finished I sprayed myself with perfume and then went back inside.

Nobody suspected a thing.

At the end I had a question to ask. "Who's home am I going to when I leave the facility?"

"You'll know soon enough, Ms. Rose."

Bitch just tell me who I'm with...calm down Marley.

* * *

We had free time now. I wanted to go to central park and just relax or go on the carousal. It wasn't too far of a walk so when we finished the meeting Ryder, Finn and I took the fifteen block walk down to the park.

We went on the carousal a few times. It was super fun. I took a break while Ryder and Finn went again for a tenth time. When the ride went a bit faster I walked away from the gate and had a cigarette. I reached deeper into my bag and found a plastic water bottle that actually contained vodka. I took a swing at that, had another cigarette and soothed down again.

The ride finished before I could finish my cigarette. Finn got off, Ryder stayed on for the sixth time. Finn came over and his smile faded when he saw the cigarette in my mouth. When he was close enough he said, "I thought you stopped."

"It's hard."

"You can't start the stopping if you don't start the stopping."

"That sounds weird." I said. "I guess I should though. This shit keeps making Ryder look weird."

"What to you mean?" Finn sat next to me.

"I mean Ryder looks like a damn skeleton in the face." I said. "His face looks weak and thin."

Finn looked between me and the carousal a few times. "Marley," He began. "That's not your eyes playing a game. That's real."

"Huh?"

"Ryder being thin? That's real." Finn said. "When...when you left, he tried to keep his hope up."

I caused that? I left Lima and...I made him do this? "I did this?"

"No...Ryder did this on his own. He just sort of stopped eating when you left and then he realized what he was doing so he just ate soup and crackers... it just sucked seeing him that depressed."

Oh shit... I fucking suck.

"But he's better now so that's good."

"Because I'm OK and here."I muttered. "Great."

After Ryder's tenth time on the ride we walked away to just hang out. Finn had to go find a bathroom and Ryder went to find ice cream cups for us to have. I sat alone on the bench...bored.

I finished my vodka. Now I just had cigarettes left. I pulled out one of them and the lighter and lit up the cigarette. I put the lighter back in my bag and blew out a few puffs. I felt a tap behind me and saw it was none other than Ryder staring at me, but with a smile.

"What?" I asked him.

"Nothing." He kept smiling. He sat down next to me and put the two ice cream cups on the bench. "Nice tobacco flavor?"

"Uh...sure." I said then looked away.

I looked away for only a few moments before turning back to ask Ryder something...but then saw something I never thought I see.

Ryder smoking a cigarette.

"RYDER LYNN!" I screamed and startled him.

"What!?" He asked.

I grabbed that fucking cigarette out of his mouth and held it away from him. "What the fuck are you doing!?"

"Smoking a cigarette, silly." He said as he went to take back the cigarette.

"NO! FUCK OFF!" I screamed. "What the hell! You keep sitting here and telling me to stop smoking and...what the hell!? YOU WANNA SMOKE!?"

"Why sure." Ryder said calmly. "I mean it seems nice and fine."

"Excuse me!?" I yelled. Why was he smoking all of a sudden..."When did this start?"

"My first butt?"

"YES!"

"Just now." He told me. "Can I finish it?"

"No asshole you can't!" I screamed. I threw it on the ground and continued. "You can't fucking sit there and be all Mr. William and Finn Schuester Hudson on my ass about smoking and the dangers of it when you sit there smoking fucking tobacco from this thing! That's like telling a recovering alcoholic not to drink when you're both in a bar or a fucking sex addict not to have sex while in a stripper bar!"

"But I'm not a sex addict or an alcoholic." Ryder said.

"GO THIS DAMN ROUTE I WAS JUST ON AND YOU WILL BE AN ALCOHOLIC OR ADDICT TO SEX!" I screamed. I didn't care if people around me looked confused or scared.

"Come on it's just one." Ryder said.

"NO! DAMN IT!" I yelled. I started to feel jumpy inside and...depressed. I felt tears filling up and my throat become dry.

"Marley?" Ryder asked me.

Nope. I lost it.

I started sobbing. God I'm sobbing while holding a cigarette...what the hell? I hate this! I hate all of this! Damn it... I'm just...so screwed up. First all the smoking and drinking and shooting up drugs and...then...fuck.

I felt Ryder hug me. I even felt him take the current cigarette in my hand and then he threw it on the ground because I saw his brown shoe step and crush it down. I felt him hug me tighter. "I'm sorry," He muttered. "I thought... maybe if I did reverse psychology than I could help. Probably not."

"No...it's fine." I told him. Then, I realized something. If I'm like this and I'm not in the facility...how am I going to be in the facility?

I hate this. I hate everything.


	84. Goodbye New York

Whelp. I'm nearly done with this story, but I have some ideas for the sequels and such so when it comes to that...It'll come to that, lol.

* * *

**84: Goodbye New York.**

Well time to go. I'm leaving today with Finn and Ryder to go back to Lima and start facing the consequences of my decisions. I'm still upset about a lot of things that happened and that are going to happen. Also I've skipped having cigarettes for the past two days. Ryder and Finn were pleased with that, but how long could I please them like that?

I got a call from Juliet. I haven't heard from her or any of the friends I've made here for a few weeks. She and the others were coming to the hotel to come say goodbye to me. I hope we can stay friends.

Ryder and Finn were inside doing some last minute checkings before we leave for the airport. I guess Carol and Burt were gonna come get us and then I would be staying with them until I had to go to the facility.

The gang came. None of them seemed high or drunk or hungover, just Juliet smoking a cigarette. She ran over and hugged me. "Marley!" She smiled.

"Hey guys," I said. "What's been going on?"

"Shit." Bobby said. "We've been dealing with things hence why we couldn't see you in the hospital."

"No worries." I said.

"So what now?" Leonardo asked. "You going home?"

"Yeah. I have to." I told them. "Maybe I'll be back in the summer for a week or two."

"No problem." Roberta grinned. "Damn I need a taco."

"You hate tacos." I pointed out.

"Not since I got pregnant." She told me.

"OH MY GOD!" I screamed in excitement. "That's amazing!" I hugged her.

"Thanks. Yeah, remember that kid from middle school I dated from seventh grade until we graduated? We met up and the flame turned on again and now we got our own little flame inside." She told me. "I want a boy. They're easier to raise."

"Nah, girls are." Emily told her. "That's what I want."

"What?" I asked her.

"Yep. We're both due around April or so." She said. "I already told my guy, he's cool and supportive of it."

"Oh that's good I guess." I told them. Then turned to Juliet and said, "Any little Kate's or Romeo's coming soon?"

"Ha! As if!" Juliet laughed. "Not for us."

"As of now, I'm still trying to get her to have at least one." Leonardo said.

"Shut up Leo!"

"I'm all for kids." Mattie said. "So think we can come visit you in Lima?"

"Sure." I told them. "That should be fun."

* * *

We all talked for a bit more and longer. It's wonderful how we all still have fun without being under some type of influence. Ryder and Finn came out a while later and after introducing everyone to one another, it was time to go. I hugged each of my New York friends tightly and said I would message them as soon as I got home and was settled inside.

Ryder, Finn and I boarded the taxi and soon drove off.

As I looked out the window and saw the building and people passing be I mentally waved goodbye to New York. I've had fun in New York, even at the cost of my own life, and though some of the memories are bad and not good, there were some that I had that I would love forever. Seeing Mom again (at the cost of my own life sadly) and rekindling my love for Ryder Lynn.

I felt Ryder touch my kneecap with his hand and a moment later he pressed his lips against my cheek for a quick peck. I turned back and smiled at him before leaning in and kissing the tip of his nose.

"You guys are weird." Finn pointed out.

Ryder and I laughed and rolled our eyes and I went back to looking out the window. Maybe'll I come back here one day to make more memories, good ones so that I'll have more good than bad ones, and then again maybe I'm done with New York. Who knows what the future holds. All I know is this.

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**Not the last chapter.**


	85. Welcome Home, Marley Rose

**An update! Oh lovely!**

**MELISSA AND BLAKE ARE MARRIED!**

**I have known since March when Melissa instagram a photo of her holding Milli and called her Babushka in it, but yeah!**

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**85: Welcome Home, Marley Rose.**

It felt like a lifetime to get back to Lima. I don't even know the date, late August I suppose? Mid-August?

We arrived back into Lima as the train we took neared the station. Finn was beginning to wake up after a full night ride and Ryder kept sleeping. I looked out the window and saw everything slowing down as we neared the station. I heard the conductor up front yelled out, "Arriving in Lima!"

Smiling I nudged Ryder to the side and he jerked awake. "Sugar babies."

"Huh?" I asked him.

"What? Oh, nothing." Ryder yawned. "Are we home?"

"Yes?" I whispered and kissed his cheek. "We're home." Ryder smirked and wrapped his arms around me, then leaned in and kissed me.

"Lovebirds, it's too early for this." Finn laughed. "Rachel and I wait until at least ten in the morning."

Ryder took his phone out of his pocket and checked the time. "One minute after ten."

"OK then." Finn laughed.

* * *

The train slowed down some more and soon came to a complete stop. As the conductor yelled out that we had arrived in Lima, the guys and I stood up and gathered out luggage from the luggage holding thing above our seats. Once they were all grabbed then we jumped off the train and we walked down to the benches to wait for a cab that Finn was calling on his phone.

I missed the smell of Lima. I missed the scenery of Lima. I missed the noises of Lima and I missed hearing people cuss out at one another in anger. New York that that too don't get me wrong, but Lima was less angry. New York seemed like someone was going to murder someone when the cussing and yelling began like that tone.

God, I really did miss Lima.

The cab came a while later and the three of us pack inside and we soon parted to the destination that Finn ordered on the phone.

"Where are we going?" I asked.

"Since it's the last week of August we're going to Disney World."

"Disney World?" I laughed at Ryder's comment.

"Eh, sort of." Ryder laughed.

* * *

A short drive later we arrived in a neighborhood I knew too well. Blaine's neighborhood. I got excited just thinking about seeing him again and soon after that all my friends. Including Tina. Shocking!

"A party at Blaine's house!?" I yelled excitingly. "For Finn?" His birthday was in August. "Or Santana? Her birthday is, like, three days before his!" I remember Brittany telling me that too.

"No, Finn is against his birthday and Santana didn't want a party this year."

Ten houses we passed before we arrived outside of Blaine's very large house. Not mansion, just a large house. I remember all of it. I even remember the inside. Including when he brought me here after my first time passing out for getting high. Weird. I could hear music in the background and people's voices. The cab parked and I jumped out as quickly as I could.

"Slow down!" Ryder laughed.

I knew in my heart that everyone was in the backyard. I ran across the street, across the grass opened the brown gate to the backyard. Everyone was singing and dancing too much to notice me. Everyone from Glee was there. And there were these tables filled with food and a cake that read 'Happy Birthday Finn, Santana and Marley!" Me? I'm...I'm a September baby.

Finally someone saw me. Of course it was Unique too. "Marley!" She yelled in happiness and ran to hug me.

"OH MY GOD SHE IS BACK!" A drunk Kitty yelled. "VIRGIN MARY HAS RETURNED!"

Soon enough everyone had ran over and took turns giving me a hug. Tina the tightest and apologizing a million times. I think she might of been drunk too because she had another sip of her "lemonade" and began laughing hysterically. Weird.

"Guys my birthday isn't until September."

"We know," Sam said. "But since most of us won't be here for it, it's a little Glee tradition."

"We celebrate Finn's birthday and whoever else' birthday we're going to miss." Kurt added in. "So far that's just Finn, Santana and Puck being September third."

"Shut up!" Puck yelled. He, too, was drunk. "Party in the Harvard!"

"I'd rather celebrate with cooler people than you kiddie party members!" Santana yelled. She was too drunk. "And I still think piano man is hiding elves in his trunk in his hobo house made of candy canes!"

I laughed at him. This was so sweet of everyone. I loved it. We got back to partying but I sat down with a bottle of water and just enjoyed the presents of everyone here. I keep going back to Zandra and I in that weird place. Now looking at everyone I can just see how hurt they would of been had I left. I secretly thanked Zandra every single day for stopping me.

* * *

A couple of hours passed by and soon it was close to eleven at night. Though some of Glee members were still a bit drunk we celebrated the four birthdays. I sat outside with Ryder for a bit. We made out for about ten minutes before Jake told us to get our asses inside and help finish the cake.

"I'll be in there in a moment." I said. Ryder winked and got up following Jake into the house.

I stood up a few moments later and walked out to the edge of the yard and looked up at the night sky. It was so beautiful. And those stars were beautiful too. I can't believe I was almost one of them. But I smiled knowing that mom was one of the stars up there.

"I know I've been in trouble mom. A lot of trouble and I'm the only one to blame for the problem. But I'm going to do a lot better. I want to get better." I said up in the sky. "I will get better. I promise."

There was a moment of silence. But I swear I felt the wind kiss my cheek. Mom.

* * *

Later that night around midnight Blaine went to bed. Yes, I was staying here at Blaine's for a few more days until I had to leave a day before him. I hated that I wasn't going to be there when he and the others left for New York.

I sat at the guest room desk tapping my pen. I couldn't sleep. I was listening to Pandora and suddently this song called "Stay Gold" came on. I remember a movie that had this song. _The Outsiders. _Lark and I watched that.

I thought for a moment before smiling. "Well, I guess I can pull a Ponyboy." I laughed and took a blank journal they kept in here for whatever reason.

_Chapter 1: Bio of Me._

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**AAAAAAAANNNNDDDD That is a wrap! The end!**

**Sorry for the ending. It was a lot better in my head when I first wrote chapter 1 and now. This isn't going to happen again.**

**Wow. I can't believe the story is over now. But I'm writing a sequel of course so I'm not too sad!**

**Thank you all so much for reading this story and sticking around to finish reading this! I know this update came so late, I apologize, but I guess I just didn't want the story to end. LOL.**

**Stay around for more stories coming to you soon!**


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